A girl who activeley pursues a man with a gf...
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I think people have different ideas of cheating- maybe a better question would be was it wrong?? YES!You fought, then kicked him out/broke up with him.
He only slept with this girl during that time.
He didn't cheat.
You'd think this would be the case, but that involves logic.
Pretty sure most people aren't logical with their emotions (except me, i am robot).
Wait - are you missing the part where they were texting incessantly while NOT on a break? Or am *I* missing something?
Texting =/= cheating. Especially assuming he really was ignoring her when she turned the conversation to relationship junk.
Texting shouldn't have happened, but it's still not cheating.
And in my original post (it wasn't quoted by the person who replied) I said they should probably just split up anyway. Too many problems in too little time.
Of course it is cheating. She was after him, and he didn't shut her down, even when asked to. In fact, he continued to lead her on. That is cheating. Actual sex isn't necessary to fit the description of cheating.
cheat (cht)
v. cheat·ed, cheat·ing, cheats
v.tr.
1. To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.
2. To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.
3. To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye.
4. To elude; escape: cheat death.
v.intr.
1. To act dishonestly; practice fraud.
2. To violate rules deliberately, as in a game: was accused of cheating at cards.
3. Informal To be sexually unfaithful: cheat on a spouse.
4. Baseball To position oneself closer to a certain area than is normal or expected: The shortstop cheated toward second base.
n.
1. An act of cheating; a fraud or swindle.
2. One who cheats; a swindler.
3. A computer application, password, or disallowed technique used to advance to a higher skill level in a computer video game.
4. Law Fraudulent acquisition of another's property.
5. Botany An annual European species of brome grass (Bromus secalinus) widely naturalized in temperate regions.
Yes, different people have different ideas of cheating. And agreed, as I already said the texting was wrong.
By the definitions you provided (this part specifically "She was after him, and he didn't shut her down") QuietBloom, that's like saying if a dude ever complimented you and you didn't rebuff him, you'd be cheating. That's... a bit intense and a super high standard. But *shrug* whatever.
Again OP... you guys should probably just break up.
my rule of thumb is, would I be comfortable if roles were reversed and my guy were in my shoes? Usually answers the question. Granted, I'm not the jealous type so perhaps I'm more laid back than some ladies. To each her own :flowerforyou:0 -
Yes, different people have different ideas of cheating. And agreed, as I already said the texting was wrong.
By the definitions you provided (this part specifically "She was after him, and he didn't shut her down") QuietBloom, that's like saying if a dude ever complimented you and you didn't rebuff him, you'd be cheating. That's... a bit intense and a super high standard. But *shrug* whatever.
Again OP... you guys should probably just break up.
Please. The two situations are not even remotely similar. And in any case, I always thank the complimenter and MOVE ON. It's really very simple.0 -
Ya, at this point, I needed a little convincing and I think this all did the trick. I had no one but him in my ear and really no one to talk to about it, so I was swaying back toward forgiveness, but I feel a bit more validated now and a bit more secure in my decision to end it. AND a bit more resilient from some great insults made on my behalf. Thanks to all!
We are always happy to give great insults. :flowerforyou:0 -
1. Dump him
2. Adamandeve dot com
3. Enter coupon code: DEAL5
4. Forget about him0 -
Yes, different people have different ideas of cheating. And agreed, as I already said the texting was wrong.
By the definitions you provided (this part specifically "She was after him, and he didn't shut her down") QuietBloom, that's like saying if a dude ever complimented you and you didn't rebuff him, you'd be cheating. That's... a bit intense and a super high standard. But *shrug* whatever.
Again OP... you guys should probably just break up.
Please. The two situations are not even remotely similar. And in any case, I always thank the complimenter and MOVE ON. It's really very simple.
Ok.
Not sure why I'm getting jumped on now, lol. I'm not saying the boyfriend was right to be texting the girl nor am I saying guys should be excused for that type of behavior.
We clearly have different definitions of what constitutes cheating.
In any case, OP already said a few posts up that she'll likely be breaking up with him. So, yeah. /thread0 -
Actually most of the time he said absolutely nothing back or that he was busy, brushing her off. The worst there was would be a smiley face but never after an "i miss you" or "come over" always at something like "I won ten bucks on a lotto ticket!" (stupid ****)Yes, different people have different ideas of cheating. And agreed, as I already said the texting was wrong.
By the definitions you provided (this part specifically "She was after him, and he didn't shut her down") QuietBloom, that's like saying if a dude ever complimented you and you didn't rebuff him, you'd be cheating.
They were sleeping together before and having naughty conversations daily by text message. That is not the same as accepting a compliment.
Where did OP say the conversations were naughty?
I honestly may have missed that part.
All I saw was OP saying he ignored the chick most of the time and only spoke to her conversationally on a day-to-day basis.0 -
I've been watching Christmas movies recently. (Tis the season...) In several of these movies, the lead female character finds herself in love with a man who already has a girlfriend. Indeed, the male lead is often engaged to some other woman.
The moral of all of these stories is that the lead female character should forge ahead. After all, this is TRUE LOVE and it won't be stopped by trivial things like the existence of a girlfriend or a fiance.
Good grief, these are movies shown on the Hallmark Channel. Are you saying that Christmas movies are telling the wrong message? <Gasp>
Haha every year they make a new movie with the same plot! Successful business woman returns to her home town after years of absence and runs into her high school sweetheart. She somehow wakes up in an alternate universe where she is married to him, and she also owns some type of mom and pop store. Some big corporation is trying to buy out the mom and pop store. Spoiler alert--she saves the store along with the town's dignity, abandons her career and stays with the guy. These screen writers are so lazy! :laugh:0 -
you keep kicking him out and telling him it's over. so he keeps cheating knowing you'll forgive him in a few days and everything can go back to the way it was for him. He's in lala land. I'm not saying it's your fault cause it's not, but still, put on your big girl pants and kick him out for good. if he really loves you he'll grow up and treat you with respect. until then, tell him to go sleep in her bed cause he aint allowed in yours.0
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whoops, I typed in the quote box above the last poster...i lose!
Actually most of the time he said absolutely nothing back or that he was busy, brushing her off. The worst there was would be a smiley face but never after an "i miss you" or "come over" always at something like "I won ten bucks on a lotto ticket!" (stupid ****)Yes, different people have different ideas of cheating. And agreed, as I already said the texting was wrong.
By the definitions you provided (this part specifically "She was after him, and he didn't shut her down") QuietBloom, that's like saying if a dude ever complimented you and you didn't rebuff him, you'd be cheating.
They were sleeping together before and having naughty conversations daily by text message. That is not the same as accepting a compliment.
Where did OP say the conversations were naughty?
I honestly may have missed that part.
All I saw was OP saying he ignored the chick most of the time and only spoke to her conversationally on a day-to-day basis.0 -
Dump him. Dump him fast. Do not look back. Block his calls so he can't play the same game with you, keeping you on the string.
QFT.
Also...he's just not that into you. He might be saying he is, but no guy who really loves and cares for you would go straight out to some other girl and screw her that night because you kicked him out.0 -
Break up with him, then go have a sandwich.0
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Wow way to go not holding the bf responsible! Clearly its all this evil womens fault i mean she must have kidnapped him tied him up and forced herself on him! What an evil witch!
SOOOO you have only been with this person for 5 months and are considering forgiving him? You barely know him... What the hell. Leave him alone with the other crazy lady. They deserve each other. Get out before you get real feelings and attachments.
It's not about people not changing. You date someone to get to know them. If you don't like what you see, move on.0 -
1. Dump him
2. Adamandeve dot com
3. Enter coupon code: DEAL5
4. Forget about him
Did you just tell her to go fornicate herself?0 -
I know you don't want to hear this…but….people do not change
I so agree been there done that and he isn't respecting you so why be with him. He could have blocked her number long ago but didn't doesn't matter what he said after you read the texts and he confessed he lied to your face about.....say bye bye bye...I have a no tolerence rule for lies and cheating more woman should have the same.0 -
whoops, I typed in the quote box above the last poster...i lose!
Actually most of the time he said absolutely nothing back or that he was busy, brushing her off. The worst there was would be a smiley face but never after an "i miss you" or "come over" always at something like "I won ten bucks on a lotto ticket!" (stupid ****)Yes, different people have different ideas of cheating. And agreed, as I already said the texting was wrong.
By the definitions you provided (this part specifically "She was after him, and he didn't shut her down") QuietBloom, that's like saying if a dude ever complimented you and you didn't rebuff him, you'd be cheating.
They were sleeping together before and having naughty conversations daily by text message. That is not the same as accepting a compliment.
Where did OP say the conversations were naughty?
I honestly may have missed that part.
All I saw was OP saying he ignored the chick most of the time and only spoke to her conversationally on a day-to-day basis.
You still don't realize that he most likely deleted his responses? Like if he had nothing to hide he would've showed you right away to help build his case.0 -
i didn't read all the pages. there are many pages.
in my life, i have embraced one truth: "i can only control what i do."
in my relationships, i can only try to be the person my partner would reject others for. if they don't reject others, then regardless of whether or not it is my fault or her fault, the relationship is a failure, and i will try to do better next time.
this way i don't have to worry about someone coming after my spouse. she controls her own actions, as i control mine. she can reject the suitor if she values me and our relationship, or she cannot and our relationship will fail.
so, it matters not if some woman is targeting people in relationships or not, because it is not her decision for him to sleep with her, it is his. and if he decided that, then he doesn't value the relationship he has with you, because he thinks he can get away with it, and if he can't then it's still a risk he's willing to take.
(i hope that made sense. i am on pain meds and they are making me loopy)0 -
I am just going to be honest ... I have talked to and dated men that had GFs. Sweetie I was not the one doing all the texting, calling, and requesting visits. It takes two, and knowing me I wasn't the one that persued the relationship at all.
I am content with myself enough to say as a woman I knew what I did wasn't right. They were not happy in their relationship. They were getting kicked out of the house, fighting all the time, and were miserable. It was easy for them to stray from home and talk to me. I am fun, simple, and uncomplicated. I always ended it before they did and they came chasing after me even though they had a GF.
It takes two people, he can tell you want he wants but there are some things to fix in your relationship that have nothing to do with another woman ... she is just a fill in, if its not her it could be someone else.
MY MOM ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT IT DOESNT GET ANY BETTER THAN IN THE BEGINNING ... 5 months is too short a time for all this drama.
I hope it works out for you.
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oh, and for the record - people change all the time, this whole site is about people changing.
you just can't force them to change or mold them into something you want.0 -
cheater, cheater, cheater! Move on!0
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oh, and for the record - people change all the time, this whole site is about people changing.
you just can't force them to change or mold them into something you want.
changing bad eating habits is not the same as changing your moral (or lack thereof) values0
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