A girl who activeley pursues a man with a gf...
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Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
Maybe you misread the first post?0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
Maybe you misread the first post?
Oh? Tell me which part I misread.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:He showed me the messages. They had been texting back and forth nearly every day for months.
And he slept with her twice when he and gf had fights. He never blocked the other girl's number from his phone.
Cheater cheater pumpkin eater!0 -
I do hope for the best. But, ultimately at the end of the day he is/was in the relationship with you, not her. It's his job to be faithful to you, not hers. If she wants to be trashy, let her take that route and wind up in the same position as you one day - her own fault. The more you take him back the easier he'll find it to be to get away with things in the future0
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Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:He showed me the messages. They had been texting back and forth nearly every day for months.
And he slept with her twice when he and gf had fights. He never blocked the other girl's number from his phone.
Cheater cheater pumpkin eater!
Yeah, he has been texting her, and? According to her, the majority of the texts were him turning down her advances. She also said that they weren't flirty and he didn't lead her on in any form. He slept with her twice AFTER she kicked him out and said they were over. So I am still failing to understand what he did wrong, besides lying about it originally.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.0 -
in my life, i have embraced one truth: "i can only control what i do."
It took me a while, but this is a truth I also now embrace.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Okay... but it was obvious that his very good friend was interested in him romantically. If he really was interested in protecting his relationship, he would have seen the risk that the friendship posed to the relationship and cut the girl off completely.
No, I don't really know what he said to either woman at any time, but as others have pointed out, he could have manipulated the OP to believe the version of the story as she presented it to all of us.
Either way, the OP does not need to tolerate this. If he really wants to hold on to this, then he should cut the girl off completely and go get some sort of couples counseling with the OP. He has to be willing to make more effort at this than just saying "it will never happen again." Because if he isn't willing to do more than that, then he will probably do it again.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.0 -
Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
I'm sure it was also a bit for his ego. Some guys like to always know there's that one girl that has feelings for them. It makes them feel better about themselves. My ex was horrible about doing this after we split. He wasn't with other girls, but if he was feeling down he'd start calling or texting me. Asking me to hang out. I've broken that cycle, but it is quite pathetic.0 -
Kick him to the curb.0
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by this logic then all fit people are moral, reliable, trustworthy and committed. Generous, selfless and humble…etc…well that's not true at all. that's not even close. you are tying all positive traits to being healthy, and that's not what was said. people modify, alter, change, facets of their value structure depending on a variety of things.People's moral (or lack thereof) values do not change. Otherwise, there would be not cheaters. Working out does not mean higher moral values. As in anything, there are exceptions, but let's not make a general statement here and say cheaters can change.
I was a cheater. I cheated on my first husband consistently for 10 years. I have never cheated on another person since, and I never will. I developed morals and self-respect... perhaps a little late in life, but it is possible. My second husband was an abusive and cruel person, even in my misery I never once strayed from my marriage vows. It would have been easy, lots of offers of "comfort" from men that I know, who knew I was being abused and were trying to take advantage of the situation. I wouldn't allow them so much as a hug. I am now sickened by the idea of not being faithful, and I don't know how I had it in me before to do that to my first husband. People can change, it is absolutely possible.
*edited because I was trying really hard not to quote the entire conversation....0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.0 -
So let me get this right: He showed you everything and proved to you that he rejected this girl time and time again. He only slept with her AFTER you told him it was over (twice) and this is his fault.....how? Over means over
Arguments and rough patches are not breakups. I have yet to meet a woman who would even listen to this logic. Also, texts received prove nothing. He could have erased his responses. He clearly has a history of being deceitful with her.0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.0
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