A girl who activeley pursues a man with a gf...
Options
Replies
-
I can see all three sides of the story. I'm special like that...
I would be sad if I was seeing someone and he got serious with someone else. I'd probably pursue him since we obviously had feelings for each other that I still had, but I'd eventually realize I was just a booty call and move on.
I would be sad if I kicked my boyfriend out and he didn't just lay in the yard waiting for me, but I'd eventually realize I essentially told him I didn't care about him enough to work through the issues and wait for him to sober up.
I would be saddest if I got kicked out when I was wasted then made to feel like I was on trial just because I found a happy place to spend the night where someone wanted me, but I'd eventually realize which friend shared my secret and steal his car.
You are amazing0 -
I can see all three sides of the story. I'm special like that...
I would be sad if I was seeing someone and he got serious with someone else. I'd probably pursue him since we obviously had feelings for each other that I still had, but I'd eventually realize I was just a booty call and move on.
I would be sad if I kicked my boyfriend out and he didn't just lay in the yard waiting for me, but I'd eventually realize I essentially told him I didn't care about him enough to work through the issues and wait for him to sober up.
I would be saddest if I got kicked out when I was wasted then made to feel like I was on trial just because I found a happy place to spend the night where someone wanted me, but I'd eventually realize which friend shared my secret and steal his car.
I wonder how she made him leave and if he paid rent there or shared a lease with her. Because when I pulled that crap during an argument with my ex, he said pretty much said, "Screw that. I'll sleep in another room, but I'm not getting kicked out of my own house. Are you crazy?" We laugh about it now because he was right.0 -
I can see all three sides of the story. I'm special like that...
I would be sad if I was seeing someone and he got serious with someone else. I'd probably pursue him since we obviously had feelings for each other that I still had, but I'd eventually realize I was just a booty call and move on.
I would be sad if I kicked my boyfriend out and he didn't just lay in the yard waiting for me, but I'd eventually realize I essentially told him I didn't care about him enough to work through the issues and wait for him to sober up.
I would be saddest if I got kicked out when I was wasted then made to feel like I was on trial just because I found a happy place to spend the night where someone wanted me, but I'd eventually realize which friend shared my secret and steal his car.
I hope the OP reads this post - there is a lot of truth in it.0 -
Why would you be mad at her, she didnt force your boyfriend to do what he did. I'm not saying its right but there are two sides to every story...he could have been leading her to believe that you were possible and he planned to break it off. I realize that you saw the texts but whose to say he didnt say things over the phone or in person to mislead her. Either way once a cheater always a cheater. You dont deserve that, find someone worth to be with you!0
-
I'm sorry but if he really didn't want to contact her or have contact from her he would have either blocked her number or changed his own. He sounds like he likes/gets an ego boost from being in contact with that horrible girl. It is a total 50/50 cheat here. I could never trust him again. How do you know he won't go get wasted and "get talked into" her bed again? I think this is a complete Bull story and you need to cut him loose. A good man won't do this and you can find someone who won't cheat on you girl. Hold out for the Truly Good Guy not the good enough guy. A real man will NOT do this to you.
^^ This0 -
Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Look, the fact of the matter is that it makes no difference at all whether the OP, us on the internet, or the guy himself considers his behavior cheating. The reality is that the OP has got herself in the midst of a twisted love triangle in which no one person has behaved appropriately and no one will really win. The only real option is to end the relationship, learn from mistakes made, and move on. No one is really crucifying the dude because OP has been sending out mixed signals. But like you said, he didn't make wise choices either. And the girl, well, she went after what she wanted, even if it wasn't what she needed.
Someone in this situation has to put a stop to it, and since the OP is the one that presented the situation, then the advice to her is to end the relationship. She can't control the other participants in this stupid, drama-filled fiasco. But she can choose to step away from the cycle and save herself some grief. She can't worry about him. He made his choices. She made hers.0 -
Wow way to go not holding the bf responsible! Clearly, its all this evil woman's fault! I mean she must have kidnapped him, tied him up, and forced herself on him! What an evil witch! (edited by grammar police)
THIS!0 -
I really hate multi-quotes. :grumble:Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.
Emotional cheating involves flirting and a whole slew of other signs that the bf, according to the OP, did not display. I wasnt there, so I don't know what was his source of his apology. Could be guilt, could be said to pacify her, could be the first thing that came to mind. I dunno, I wasn't there.
Hey bra, sometimes logic doesn't win in these forums.
agree... :drinker:0 -
ERROR
I really hate multi-quotes. :grumble:Wth is the definition of "cheating" for some of you? She broke up with him. He never slept with that girl while they were together. He didn't even FLIRT with her according the OP, which a lot of you "non-single" folk cannot say. Sheesh the judgement levels here are astronomical...
Why are you taking this so personal? :frown:
Lol I am not taking it personally. It is just boggling my mind that he clearly did not cheat, yet everyone wants to hang 'em high.
You know, it really doesn't matter that he only slept with her when they were arguing or when she threw him out. He used the active pursuer as place to crash and lead her on to believe that there would be more. Then, he went back to his girlfriend without severing the relationship with the active pursuer (allowing her to continue to think that there would be something more).
I really don't blame the girl pursuing OP's man. He has totally lead her on. And everyone is hanging the OP because he is waffling back and forth between both women. If she threw him out, and he truly felt like their relationship was over to the point that he would drop into another woman's bed, then he shouldn't have went back. It's not really even the cheating that makes this guy a douche bag. It's that he is stringing two different women along, and doesn't really care about either.
well now you are just adding whatever you want to the story. That wasn't the information presented, so that isn't the information I am using. You don't know what he said those nights he crashed at her house. Maybe they were really good friends before him and the OP got together (besides the obvious). I am not saying he is squeaky clean in all of these. Clearly, he has made some wrong choices, but they aren't as severe as everyone is making it out to be. Once again, the OP said he wasn't leading her on in any of the texts.
Come on! How can you say he wasn't leading her on by keeping contact with her? If he wanted her gone, he should have blocked her phone number. Right?
Right? Dude was keepin' her on a string for the fallback position. Be honest with yourself and admit that guys (and gals) do that.
So, you never were friends with a guy that had a crush on you? If you were, do you feel like you were leading them on even though you made it clear that they were in the friend-zone?
If he can't respect my boundaries and stop asking me to come over for sex, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, that is presuming that the OP's boyfriend actually established those boundaries as you seem convinced that he has.
I seemed convinced he has because the OP said that he has, so.....
Okay... so let's presume that he did establish boundaries with this girl. She still didn't respect them... why did he continue the friendship? She was obviously making herself a risk to his relationship.
Well, yeah. I never said he made the smartest decisions lol. I am saying he didn't cheat.
Emotional cheating and carrying on whatever type of correspondence/relationship with the third party can actually do more damage sometimes than the physical, technical cheating that you seem to be referring to. Obviously he wouldn't have apologized if he felt he did nothing wrong in their specific situation.
Emotional cheating involves flirting and a whole slew of other signs that the bf, according to the OP, did not display. I wasnt there, so I don't know what was his source of his apology. Could be guilt, could be said to pacify her, could be the first thing that came to mind. I dunno, I wasn't there.
Hey bra, sometimes logic doesn't win in these forums.
agree... :drinker:0 -
I'm sorry I don't know the entire situation so I can't tell you exactly what to do but I think of the calories I would be burning while I kicked him to the curb because given what you've told me that's what I would do!!
Good luck finding someone that is so crazy madly in love with you!!!0 -
i didn't read all the pages. there are many pages.
in my life, i have embraced one truth: "i can only control what i do."
in my relationships, i can only try to be the person my partner would reject others for. if they don't reject others, then regardless of whether or not it is my fault or her fault, the relationship is a failure, and i will try to do better next time.
this way i don't have to worry about someone coming after my spouse. she controls her own actions, as i control mine. she can reject the suitor if she values me and our relationship, or she cannot and our relationship will fail.
so, it matters not if some woman is targeting people in relationships or not, because it is not her decision for him to sleep with her, it is his. and if he decided that, then he doesn't value the relationship he has with you, because he thinks he can get away with it, and if he can't then it's still a risk he's willing to take.
(i hope that made sense. i am on pain meds and they are making me loopy)
Because... this....0 -
too much drama.. a lot of people cheat when they just dont have balls to break up with their bf/gf. He cheated so he doesnt care..........well for you at least, he probably cares for the other girl. life sucks sometimes. drop him, you deserve better:)
↑ Now there is a guy with a shred of good sense! So refreshing.0 -
Worse are the ones who go after husbands and the husbands that are stupid enough to let these women stroke their ego even if they never touch them. Just sayin!!!!0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.7K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 394 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 944 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions