Not bothering to date.. Its all frankly worrying..
Replies
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Another prime example of why I'm not going to date ANY time soon...
The other day at the gym a guy asked for my phone number and wanted to take me out. First off, I'm not a huge fan of conversing while I'm trying to work out but he was handsome so I figured, eh what the hell, and gave it to him. We've talked a few other times and he seemed like a nice guy.
I am a single mother and would have had to find someone to watch my 1.5 year old so I could go out with this guy and I told him that. I've really been giving it a lot of thought the last couple days and decided that I'm not ready to date yet. It has nothing to do with him, I'm just not ready. Last night I texted him and told him that and I hope we can still be friends. I wake up this morning to find a text message of him ripping me a new one... talking about how I like to play games, I'm full of s***, etc. This is EXACTLY why I don't want to date. A seemingly "nice" guy can't take the honest truth. Would he have rather me waste both of our time and his money for me to come to the same conclusion?
And now I get to see him everyday at the gym, because we work out at the same time. Yay! Looks like I'll be picking a new time to go...
Why did you give him your number in the first place if you weren't ready to date? His temper tantrum via text was uncalled for, but it sounded like you were leading him on.
I should have known this would turn around and be my fault again... Because at the time I had every intention of going out with him. After a couple of days of thinking about it I changed my mind. I'm pretty sure going out to dinner with him even though I knew I wasn't interested in dating him or anyone else would be the true definition of leading someone on.
At least I know I'm really not ready to date and won't be giving out my number anymore... heaven forbid another man gets butt hurt after mild rejection. :bigsmile:
Although I don't agree with that guy's action, I see where he is coming from. It takes a lot to cold approach someone and get their number. He probably felt really good about the approach, the success of it, and was starting to build hope. Alas, the hope was false. Guys hate false hope.0 -
My worst internet date was this:
He had decided to cycle the 5 or 6 miles from his village to the pub. If he'd been really fit, this might not have been an issue. The guy was about 10 pounds heavier in person than he appeared to be in his pictures, and clearly not very fit.
I walked up to him at the bar, and there he was: dripping with sweat. He apologised and said he had already been to the toilets and had wiped off some of the sweat. When we sat down to lunch and started talking, I got distracted by the sweat running down his face and asked him to go and wipe some more off. I did jokingly ask him if cycling to a date seemed like a good idea in retrospect.
He then ordered mussels in garlic and butter sauce, which he had to eat with his fingers of course. it was revolting!0 -
Reading all these post made me laugh and want to cry. I am so thankful that I have been with my husband for 16 yrs. My prior dating history was 20 and younger so...no internet and just mostly horny young guys. I definitely could not handle dating now. Some one needs to make a compilation book of all these stories and get rich.0
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My worst internet date was this:
He had decided to cycle the 5 or 6 miles from his village to the pub. If he'd been really fit, this might not have been an issue. The guy was about 10 pounds heavier in person than he appeared to be in his pictures, and clearly not very fit.
I walked up to him at the bar, and there he was: dripping with sweat. He apologised and said he had already been to the toilets and had wiped off some of the sweat. When we sat down to lunch and started talking, I got distracted by the sweat running down his face and asked him to go and wipe some more off. I did jokingly ask him if cycling to a date seemed like a good idea in retrospect.
He then ordered mussels in garlic and butter sauce, which he had to eat with his fingers of course. it was revolting!
Oh. My. God. That is horrible!!!
Did he not own a car?0 -
My worst internet date was this:
He had decided to cycle the 5 or 6 miles from his village to the pub. If he'd been really fit, this might not have been an issue. The guy was about 10 pounds heavier in person than he appeared to be in his pictures, and clearly not very fit.
I walked up to him at the bar, and there he was: dripping with sweat. He apologised and said he had already been to the toilets and had wiped off some of the sweat. When we sat down to lunch and started talking, I got distracted by the sweat running down his face and asked him to go and wipe some more off. I did jokingly ask him if cycling to a date seemed like a good idea in retrospect.
He then ordered mussels in garlic and butter sauce, which he had to eat with his fingers of course. it was revolting!
Oh. My. God. That is horrible!!!
Did he not own a car?
No, he never learnt to drive! 36 years old... I should have done my research better. After 5 years of taxiing my ex around I have an aversion to dating guys without their own motorised transport!0 -
I just remembered another one.
Another internet first date. The guy tells me he spent a night in a cell and was given community service for beating the *kitten* out of someone he found in bed with his girlfriend. That and he was prohibited from seeing his daughter as a result.
I RAN. :noway:0 -
I think we all hope that we will just meet that special someone and sparks will fly...this is what romance films have taught us, we all live in hope and some people are very lucky however internet dating seems to be the norm these days but personally I am still secretly hoping for fireworks and butterflies lol..
We can all dream right
~Charlie0 -
I've been single for nearly 3yrs... My last dates have included; someone not calling me back for a month - when they did they told me they'd been clinically sectioned, & wanted to join the French Foreign Legion. A bloke who informed me his ex was blonde, so he was worried my "growler" may terrify him (we'll never know?), & a bus driver who related a highly unamusing story involving him having a dump behind an unmarked police car... What can I say? I frankly like being single. I can see the benefit.. What was the worst date you had recently?
meh, at least you don't attract slags.0 -
I've commented on some other goings on here, and I'm going to open the vault on some of my lousy dates.
First off, to all the married people and people in secure, functional long term relationships, be thankful! Dating today sucks. Never, ever take your spouse for granted. Cherish each moment that you have with them. If your marriage or LTR is salvageable, salvage it. Because starting over is usually much harder.
I'm not going to list every bad date that I've had. But I'll share a sampling. I've had more than my quota of them.
1. I met a girl in person at a Meetup once. We proceeded to go on a pleasant first date. Played tennis for an hour and went to a chill bar/pub after. She was from Peru and I speak Spanish as well. The majority of the date was in Spanish, which I liked. Anyway, as I was getting close to kissing her, her breath smelled really disgustingly foul. I have a no kiss, no 2nd date policy. I have found that any date that doesn't end with a first kiss on the lips, I'm wasting my time if there is a 2nd date.
2. I met a girl from Tinder for a walk on a trail. She's about a solid 7. However, when she gets to the date, she only claims to have 30 minutes and also mentions that despite her recent breakup from her long term bf, not all her stuff is out of the house they were sharing. I'm glad that was a free date. She had no business wasting 30 mins of my time.
3. Another girl showed up to a first date with a bad itch. She was scratching her arms. She was clearly distracted and had no business being on the date.
4. Another girl told me a second date that she expected to die before age 40 based on her family history.
5. After a third date that involved a dinner & a great make out session on my couch, the girl disappears, ignoring all texts & calls. How rude!0 -
Another prime example of why I'm not going to date ANY time soon...
The other day at the gym a guy asked for my phone number and wanted to take me out. First off, I'm not a huge fan of conversing while I'm trying to work out but he was handsome so I figured, eh what the hell, and gave it to him. We've talked a few other times and he seemed like a nice guy.
I am a single mother and would have had to find someone to watch my 1.5 year old so I could go out with this guy and I told him that. I've really been giving it a lot of thought the last couple days and decided that I'm not ready to date yet. It has nothing to do with him, I'm just not ready. Last night I texted him and told him that and I hope we can still be friends. I wake up this morning to find a text message of him ripping me a new one... talking about how I like to play games, I'm full of s***, etc. This is EXACTLY why I don't want to date. A seemingly "nice" guy can't take the honest truth. Would he have rather me waste both of our time and his money for me to come to the same conclusion?
And now I get to see him everyday at the gym, because we work out at the same time. Yay! Looks like I'll be picking a new time to go...
Why did you give him your number in the first place if you weren't ready to date? His temper tantrum via text was uncalled for, but it sounded like you were leading him on.
I should have known this would turn around and be my fault again... Because at the time I had every intention of going out with him. After a couple of days of thinking about it I changed my mind. I'm pretty sure going out to dinner with him even though I knew I wasn't interested in dating him or anyone else would be the true definition of leading someone on.
At least I know I'm really not ready to date and won't be giving out my number anymore... heaven forbid another man gets butt hurt after mild rejection. :bigsmile:
What we have here is an example of a boy in a man's body. What kind of adult reacts like that!? Unfortunately, reading these forums and hearing stories, this seems to be the norm these days: Grown men having temper tantrums when someone hurts their precious feelings. . .The funny thing is, this guy 'might' have still gotten that date if he'd played his cards right. . behaved like an adult. . maintained contact and shown a measure of empathy and understanding at the realities facing a busy single mom who's got a lot more important things to think about than dating. . But. .I guess then he wouldn't have gotten that satisfaction kindergartners get by calling the girl they like a meanie on the playground.0 -
I've commented on some other goings on here, and I'm going to open the vault on some of my lousy dates.
First off, to all the married people and people in secure, functional long term relationships, be thankful! Dating today sucks. Never, ever take your spouse for granted. Cherish each moment that you have with them. If your marriage or LTR is salvageable, salvage it. Because starting over is usually much harder.
I'm not going to list every bad date that I've had. But I'll share a sampling. I've had more than my quota of them.
1. I met a girl in person at a Meetup once. We proceeded to go on a pleasant first date. Played tennis for an hour and went to a chill bar/pub after. She was from Peru and I speak Spanish as well. The majority of the date was in Spanish, which I liked. Anyway, as I was getting close to kissing her, her breath smelled really disgustingly foul. I have a no kiss, no 2nd date policy. I have found that any date that doesn't end with a first kiss on the lips, I'm wasting my time if there is a 2nd date.
2. I met a girl from Tinder for a walk on a trail. She's about a solid 7. However, when she gets to the date, she only claims to have 30 minutes and also mentions that despite her recent breakup from her long term bf, not all her stuff is out of the house they were sharing. I'm glad that was a free date. She had no business wasting 30 mins of my time.
3. Another girl showed up to a first date with a bad itch. She was scratching her arms. She was clearly distracted and had no business being on the date.
4. Another girl told me a second date that she expected to die before age 40 based on her family history.
5. After a third date that involved a dinner & a great make out session on my couch, the girl disappears, ignoring all texts & calls. How rude!
I'm detecting a pattern here. .0 -
I'm 20, I turn 21 on Monday...I've been single for over 2 years...frankly I am worried...lol.0
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So the title says its worrying yet your happy being single? I have said the same thing myself. It sounds like denial and thats not a shot at you, its just I have done the same myself. Do you get asked out by guys or is it internet dating?
Think about what you want in a man first, even if its simple things, then go from there.0 -
What we have here is an example of a boy in a man's body. What kind of adult reacts like that!? Unfortunately, reading these forums and hearing stories, this seems to be the norm these days: Grown men having temper tantrums when someone hurts their precious feelings. . .The funny thing is, this guy 'might' have still gotten that date if he'd played his cards right. . behaved like an adult. . maintained contact and shown a measure of empathy and understanding at the realities facing a busy single mom who's got a lot more important things to think about than dating. . But. .I guess then he wouldn't have gotten that satisfaction kindergartners get by calling the girl they like a meanie on the playground.
I'm glad all guys don't think it's ok to act a jacka$s the second someone hurts their feelings.
I thought any normal adult would reply with an "ok I understand, maybe later then" response... Talk about killing any chance to ever go out now.0 -
I'm 20, I turn 21 on Monday...I've been single for over 2 years...frankly I am worried...lol.
Your only 20, whats the rush?
Do you have things that you want to focus on? Like a career, education etc?0 -
What we have here is an example of a boy in a man's body. What kind of adult reacts like that!? Unfortunately, reading these forums and hearing stories, this seems to be the norm these days: Grown men having temper tantrums when someone hurts their precious feelings. . .The funny thing is, this guy 'might' have still gotten that date if he'd played his cards right. . behaved like an adult. . maintained contact and shown a measure of empathy and understanding at the realities facing a busy single mom who's got a lot more important things to think about than dating. . But. .I guess then he wouldn't have gotten that satisfaction kindergartners get by calling the girl they like a meanie on the playground.
I'm glad all guys don't think it's ok to act a jacka$s the second someone hurts their feelings.
I thought any normal adult would reply with an "ok I understand, maybe later then" response... Talk about killing any chance to ever go out now.
Yeah, consider yourself lucky that he flew his freak flag before you actually wasted any time or feelings on him. Guys with that type of anger simmering just beneath the surface are bad news all around.0 -
I'm 20, I turn 21 on Monday...I've been single for over 2 years...frankly I am worried...lol.
Your only 20, whats the rush?
Do you have things that you want to focus on? Like a career, education etc?
No, I am in college majoring in environmental engineering, so I have big hopes for my career. With college and also working around 25 per week I don't exactly have time to date now. But after I graduate and begin my career I'm nervous to start dating...I'd like to find someone eventually and I feel like dating really sucks these days. I wish I was older and already married...hah.0 -
5. After a third date that involved a dinner & a great make out session on my couch, the girl disappears, ignoring all texts & calls. How rude!
NEVER treat a woman to dinner unless you're clappin' dem cheeks.0 -
5. After a third date that involved a dinner & a great make out session on my couch, the girl disappears, ignoring all texts & calls. How rude!
NEVER treat a woman to dinner unless you're clappin' dem cheeks.
The dinner was not a meal out. The dinner was something I made. Does meal in vs meal out affect your clappin' dem cheeks rule?0 -
I'm 20, I turn 21 on Monday...I've been single for over 2 years...frankly I am worried...lol.
Your only 20, whats the rush?
Do you have things that you want to focus on? Like a career, education etc?
No, I am in college majoring in environmental engineering, so I have big hopes for my career. With college and also working around 25 per week I don't exactly have time to date now. But after I graduate and begin my career I'm nervous to start dating...I'd like to find someone eventually and I feel like dating really sucks these days. I wish I was older and already married...hah.
Boo that. I think it's a shame people see dating as a negative. I love dating:) As long as you keep your standards high and have fun with it, it won't feel like a hassle. I'm also an engineering student, work two jobs and hold a research position so I get it's hard to find time. Lunch/coffee dates are you friends. If you're going to go out to lunch anyway, might as well make it a date :flowerforyou:
Anywho, proceed! These stories are great.0 -
well we wouldnt work out at all!!!!!!!!!!Sorry about your dating issues, I have them too.
A recent date I had with a guy that looked nothing like his online profile. Now I am not the most fit person, but I am pretty darn active. He was not active at all, I had just finished a half marathon. His hobbies were TV and TV, my hobbies are pretty much anything to get me out of the house. It was like pulling teeth to get him to talk and I can understand being nervous but to answer a direct question with: "I dunno, I got nothing" Um, what? Needless to say, it didnt go past date 1.
Another date I had with a guy that saw me at work and wanted to ask me out but had his friend ask me. I said yes but then learned that 1. He didnt have a job, he was only a temp. 2. Didnt have a car, so I had to pick him up. 3. Still lived at home. 4. Had a crazy ex-girlfriend. He got back together with his crazy ex-girlfriend and she found the slip of paper with my home number. The guy didnt have the testicular fortitude to tell her he dated while they were split, he asked me that if she calls I had to say my number was meant for his friend. WHAT? Well, she did call, about 10 times and once was pretty nasty to my own mother. I cussed her out and basically said she is welcome to the ball-less wonder; I wouldnt date him if the continuation of the human race depended on us procreating. Better to die out than to have his DNA infecting the gene pool.
Other dates were just sad.
So I gave up, for now. I'll just be happy with me and when it happens, it happens.
No car, no job, no conversation...all deal breakers for me. I dont want a child I want an equal partner, they need to be able to equally bring something to the table, not rely on me for everything!
I mean I want someone that does all the house work or has loads of money.......;P
HAHA! Get in the kitchen and make me a sammich!0 -
This is an interesting read. Both funny and serious stories in here which sparks my interest. I've been single for a little over 2 years now. I have two great teenage sons, house, car, job, I workout consistently, pay my bills lol. Problem is i'm very picky after having a questionable dating history. Which pretty much consists of a few over a year relationships which turned out horribly because I give my all when in a relationship. The women i've been involved with just seem to not want to do the same thing
I don't date much because of the fact that my boys are #1(yes they live with me), although I would like to have that special someone, i'm not into a bar scene. A lot of these stories I see on here about guys wanting sex immediately, well I get that type of behaviour from women all the time. Staying single isn't bad but it gets old quick when you realize that you may not anywhere close to finding that someone0 -
This is an interesting read. Both funny and serious stories in here which sparks my interest. I've been single for a little over 2 years now. I have two great teenage sons, house, car, job, I workout consistently, pay my bills lol. Problem is i'm very picky after having a questionable dating history.
I'm getting much pickier as I get older too. The tables turn once you hit your later 20's, a man's stock begins to rise rapidly. Men become more financially stable and establish rugged good looks as they age (most of my mid 20's female friends swoon for salt and pepper hair now).
Keep on being picky and don't settle.0 -
This is an interesting read. Both funny and serious stories in here which sparks my interest. I've been single for a little over 2 years now. I have two great teenage sons, house, car, job, I workout consistently, pay my bills lol. Problem is i'm very picky after having a questionable dating history.
I'm getting much pickier as I get older too. The tables turn once you hit your later 20's, a man's stock begins to rise rapidly. Men become more financially stable and establish rugged good looks as they age (most of my mid 20's female friends swoon for salt and pepper hair now).
Keep on being picky and don't settle.
Part of men's stock rising as they get older is because they are older than women. Women like men older, and men like a woman younger. I was at a house party this weekend and chatting with a 22 year old guy who had just graduated college in May and was looking to meet some new women. I told him to focus on women at a nearby college because that is who he is older than at this point.
An in shape guy from 26-35 with a solid career usually has some decent options.0 -
bumping for more0
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Or he could have said, well, I sure am disappointed. If you change your mind, let me know. Like an ADULT. His ridiculous and hurtful over reaction and your need to change gym times ( I.e. your life) for a guy you don't know tells you that your instincts wer VALID and you should trust yourself. Changing your mind isn't a sin, and he could have read your hesitancy in the first place, if he was really so interested in YOU. He sounds like a big baby, best to avoid. You did well, bravo.0
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I HATE dating, Gym is now my bf and religion i can buy my own beer and shoes. im good0
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I know this thread is old but I do agree with the OP to some extent. There are some seriously disturbing men out there like this one guy I went on a date with this week who asked me to get a fertility test to prevent our relationship becoming invalid due to infertility. :noway: Who then proceeded to tell me his new plan for world domination which basically ended up sounded like a half-arsed attempt at retelling the Hunger Games - he thought his idea was original unsurprisingly.
Then he told me about his ex and how she broke his heart and how he didn't have any friends and didn't value human relationships anyway.
But there are good men - somewhere. I think. :laugh:0 -
I ended a 13 year relationship late last year and have started to try internet dating. Not so great so far. I was stood up by one guy who called me later to arrange another date with the excuse "my boys said I shouldn't go out tonight". I told him have fun with his boys but I have no interest in meeting him. Another guy I went out with seemed pretty fun and interesting on the first date. Then he got weird, getting mad when I wouldn't send him dirty pictures saying I don't know how dating works now, hahaha. Then he showed up at my place drunk at 2:30am to see where I was and who I was with because I told him I was tired and didn't want to go out when he called me to hang out around 11pm. He kept pushing for a relationship after I said I had no interest in dating him, to the point where I had to block his number. Another guy seemed nice when we went out to dinner but next time when we hung out at his place to watch a movie I noticed that he chained his fridge shut at all times to keep his teenage son out of it, then would dole out snacks and meals on a schedule. He was very food policey, which I thought was very odd. Oh, and a guy who kept talking about how smart he was and how it was hard to find an intelligent woman to keep up with him but that he knew he and I had a connection. Turned out he had no job and started asking me for money, hahahaha. NO.
I wonder if I have ever been as awful a date for anyone. I certainly hope not and I don't think I have, but I doubt these guys knew how bad these dates really were...0
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