You call this a Sexual Predator???

UsedToBeHusky

I;m not talking about bullying ....I'm talking about being physically tackled, pinned to the ground and foundled. Ya I had alot of control over that. I'm out!

Yes, that happened as well. On the school bus. Every day.

I fought back.

I'm not sure what your point is.
Because if affected you differently; perhaps because you had different parents and other circumstances, does that mean that the other poster is just weak? She should have fought back? It's her fault that as a very young child repeated abuse affected her?

She's equating her experience to what happened in this case. I'm giving the other side of that.

That's my point.

Also, she insisted that none of us could possibly understand because we didn't experience it. That's a huge assumption on her part.

From what has been reported, it seems that the girl's experience was closer to her story than yours. Except that this girl had an older brother she could turn to and a mother that listened. As well, there have been other posters that have similar experiences and anxiety resulting from unwanted touching in early grade school.

From your posts, it seems that you're saying, "It happened to me and I'm fine, why aren't you?" I get that people have different responses to similar situations, but that doesn't mean that we should trivialize the impact it has on some. I don't know if that's your intent, but that's how your posts are coming across to me.

She's not trivializing other people's experiences with unwanted touching. But a kiss on the hand is far different than being groped.

WendyTerry420

reported...

offended much?

Not even a little. Just don't want to have to deal with the 2 pages of political banter now that someone posted something that will do nothing but provoke people who disagree to respond.

I mean, there are other things to read.

Deal with the pages? Like read them and discuss the emotion it envokes in your in your head. Or deal like work for hours to delete posts because your a mod. or deal as in oh my god i have ocd and have to skip page numbers when reading posts because i cant deal with the few political posts.. Don't answer that,,, it's just a joke.. but you don't have to deal with anything... it's not on you, your not a mod, you don't have to read it.. it seems like a blown out of proportion sentence, you should work in news.

Hey, if you don't like the rules then try and get them changed. I was under the impression that report button was for the community to report posts that were against the rules. My apologies.

dayone987

That's my point.

Also, she insisted that none of us could possibly understand because we didn't experience it. That's a huge assumption on her part.

From what has been reported, it seems that the girl's experience was closer to her story than yours. Except that this girl had an older brother she could turn to and a mother that listened. As well, there have been other posters that have similar experiences and anxiety resulting from unwanted touching in early grade school.

From your posts, it seems that you're saying, "It happened to me and I'm fine, why aren't you?" I get that people have different responses to similar situations, but that doesn't mean that we should trivialize the impact it has on some. I don't know if that's your intent, but that's how your posts are coming across to me.

She's not trivializing other people's experiences with unwanted touching. But a kiss on the hand is far different than being groped.

She did more or less tell the poster that the she had manged to get through groping without residual feeling of trauma, and more or less implied that maybe the other poster should have too.

In regards to the current case it wasn't a one time kiss though. It was repeated behavior that occurred enough that the girl felt she needed protection from this boy.

BinaryPulsar

Ok, I didn't read the comments.

A six year old boy kissing a girl's hand is no way sexual harassment or something that should be handled so harshly. That is way more harmful to all the kids. The adults are sexualizing something that is not sexual to the kids.

That is not the same as sexual assault. When I was 9 I was sexually assaulted by a boy that was around 12. He was six feet tall. I was tiny. And yes, I fought back with all of my strength. And I already had a history of severe sexual abuse by my stepfather. This boy violated me. And I could not stop it, no matter how much I fought. And when I tried to get away, a group of kids dragged me back, so I was outnumbered. Although eventually I actually did end up kicking him in the face hard enough to get away. And at that point the other kids were in shock and let me go (because they didn't know what he was going to do when they had dragged me back).

Now, that scenario is a million times different from a six year old kissing a girl's hand. He should not be punished because of what other kids have done.

Sexual assault is sexual assault and there's no sense in blaming the victims.

But, there's also no sense and calling something sexual assault that is not sexual assault.

As adults we need to heal from our own issues and not put those issues onto innocent children. That creates more problems and does not solve problems.

Did you read about how this was a repeated behavior from this boy? That the girl had to ask her brother for protection?
If this was one of your girls, what would you say to her?

There is a difference between what I would say to her and what I would say to him. I think there is a healthier way of handling this for all of them. A way that would not have made this international news.

UsedToBeHusky

That's my point.

Also, she insisted that none of us could possibly understand because we didn't experience it. That's a huge assumption on her part.

From what has been reported, it seems that the girl's experience was closer to her story than yours. Except that this girl had an older brother she could turn to and a mother that listened. As well, there have been other posters that have similar experiences and anxiety resulting from unwanted touching in early grade school.

From your posts, it seems that you're saying, "It happened to me and I'm fine, why aren't you?" I get that people have different responses to similar situations, but that doesn't mean that we should trivialize the impact it has on some. I don't know if that's your intent, but that's how your posts are coming across to me.

She's not trivializing other people's experiences with unwanted touching. But a kiss on the hand is far different than being groped.

She did more or less tell the poster that the she had manged to get through groping without residual feeling of trauma, and more or less implied that maybe the other poster should have too.

In regards to the current case it wasn't a one time kiss though. It was repeated behavior that occurred enough that the girl felt she needed protection from this boy.

You know, I saw it mentioned that the girl's parents came forward with their side of the story, but I have yet to see that myself. Can you please provide a link where the family claims this girl was afraid of this boy?

WendyTerry420

:huh: geeze i remeber being a little girl (once a long long time ago) and when a boy did something i didnt like (smooch, skirt grab, ect) i was taught to "kick him where it counts" or bust his nose.... but we where "real country folk" and didnt get our knickers in a twist over it( unless "where it counts" needs medical attention after) that being said i have 2 daughters, my girls also know how to throw a punch and where to kick if someone dosent understand NO..... works like charm it dose also leads to complants of fighting tho

"kick him where it counts"


That's what my mom taught me too! I never even had to do it either, just threaten it.

dayone987

Ok, I didn't read the comments.

A six year old boy kissing a girl's hand is no way sexual harassment or something that should be handled so harshly. That is way more harmful to all the kids. The adults are sexualizing something that is not sexual to the kids.

That is not the same as sexual assault. When I was 9 I was sexually assaulted by a boy that was around 12. He was six feet tall. I was tiny. And yes, I fought back with all of my strength. And I already had a history of severe sexual abuse by my stepfather. This boy violated me. And I could not stop it, no matter how much I fought. And when I tried to get away, a group of kids dragged me back, so I was outnumbered. Although eventually I actually did end up kicking him in the face hard enough to get away. And at that point the other kids were in shock and let me go (because they didn't know what he was going to do when they had dragged me back).

Now, that scenario is a million times different from a six year old kissing a girl's hand. He should not be punished because of what other kids have done.

Sexual assault is sexual assault and there's no sense in blaming the victims.

But, there's also no sense and calling something sexual assault that is not sexual assault.

As adults we need to heal from our own issues and not put those issues onto innocent children. That creates more problems and does not solve problems.

Did you read about how this was a repeated behavior from this boy? That the girl had to ask her brother for protection?
If this was one of your girls, what would you say to her?

There is a difference between what I would say to her and what I would say to him. I think there is a healthier way of handling this for all of them. A way that would not have made this international news.

Quoted from news article:
Jade Masters-Ownbey, the mother of the girl Hunter is accused of kissing, told the local newspaper that the school district was right in protecting her daughter.
The mother, who is also a teacher in the school district, said Hunter had tried to kiss her daughter "over and over" without her permission, according to Canon City Daily Record.
"I've had to coach her about what to do when you don't want someone touching you, but they won't stop," Masters-Ownbey told the newspaper.

It seems that she did try to deal with it another way, to no avail.
I believe it was the boy's mom who made this national news, not the girl's mom.

mammamaurer

:huh: geeze i remeber being a little girl (once a long long time ago) and when a boy did something i didnt like (smooch, skirt grab, ect) i was taught to "kick him where it counts" or bust his nose.... but we where "real country folk" and didnt get our knickers in a twist over it( unless "where it counts" needs medical attention after) that being said i have 2 daughters, my girls also know how to throw a punch and where to kick if someone dosent understand NO..... works like charm it dose also leads to complants of fighting tho

"kick him where it counts"


That's what my mom taught me too! I never even had to do it either, just threaten it.

i did.... to girls to...i was very shelterd about what was at "where it counts" then

Myhaloslipped

This is crazy! And your little one sounds like a very sweet boy. I remember a boy in kindergarten kissed me on the cheek and I screamed, but to call it sexual harassment would have been ridiculous.

DamePiglet

I will say just one more thing, it usually starts out small. Testing to see how far it can be taken. before you know it its out of control I think maybe the school officials that are actually witnessing whats going on probably know more than us posting do.

I hope the child learns to control himself.
I also hope that out of all of this, the school administration also learns more effective and applicable ways of correcting problems. :flowerforyou:

Rosplosion

My son is affectionate and give hugs to boys and girls. It makes me SICK that this is considered harassment.

DamePiglet

There are kissing 6 year olds!!

suziepoo1984

Poor kid. He is just growing up and learning what is normal and whats not! Punish him for his behaviors all you want, but harassment? seriously? This world keeps getting meaner and weirder every single day!

UsedToBeHusky

Ok, I didn't read the comments.

A six year old boy kissing a girl's hand is no way sexual harassment or something that should be handled so harshly. That is way more harmful to all the kids. The adults are sexualizing something that is not sexual to the kids.

That is not the same as sexual assault. When I was 9 I was sexually assaulted by a boy that was around 12. He was six feet tall. I was tiny. And yes, I fought back with all of my strength. And I already had a history of severe sexual abuse by my stepfather. This boy violated me. And I could not stop it, no matter how much I fought. And when I tried to get away, a group of kids dragged me back, so I was outnumbered. Although eventually I actually did end up kicking him in the face hard enough to get away. And at that point the other kids were in shock and let me go (because they didn't know what he was going to do when they had dragged me back).

Now, that scenario is a million times different from a six year old kissing a girl's hand. He should not be punished because of what other kids have done.

Sexual assault is sexual assault and there's no sense in blaming the victims.

But, there's also no sense and calling something sexual assault that is not sexual assault.

As adults we need to heal from our own issues and not put those issues onto innocent children. That creates more problems and does not solve problems.

Did you read about how this was a repeated behavior from this boy? That the girl had to ask her brother for protection?
If this was one of your girls, what would you say to her?

There is a difference between what I would say to her and what I would say to him. I think there is a healthier way of handling this for all of them. A way that would not have made this international news.

Quoted from news article:
Jade Masters-Ownbey, the mother of the girl Hunter is accused of kissing, told the local newspaper that the school district was right in protecting her daughter.
The mother, who is also a teacher in the school district, said Hunter had tried to kiss her daughter "over and over" without her permission, according to Canon City Daily Record.
"I've had to coach her about what to do when you don't want someone touching you, but they won't stop," Masters-Ownbey told the newspaper.

It seems that she did try to deal with it another way, to no avail.
I believe it was the boy's mom who made this national news, not the girl's mom.

She made it national news because of the outrageous label that they were trying to attach to him. Children are tracked, and that is the kind of thing that would have caused him problems for the remainder of his education, and could have even followed him into adulthood.

Fortunately, the school was wise enough to see why the label was not warranted. The boy was punished, the issue was addressed with the mother, and if the school really feared further inappropriate behavior on his part, or if the girl's mother insisted, then the kids can be separated.

But there is no sense in calling it something that it's not. It might look like sexual harassment, but the boy is in kindegarten. He's still getting oriented to that social setting. Kids have to learn boundaries and that can take time. To declare this sexual harassment implies that he had an understanding of those boundaries and performed the action with the intent to cross those boundaries. This was not the case.

The girl's mother should work with her daughter more on establishing boundaries because it was NOT the girl that reported the incident to the teacher.

BinaryPulsar

I will say just one more thing, it usually starts out small. Testing to see how far it can be taken. before you know it its out of control I think maybe the school officials that are actually witnessing whats going on probably know more than us posting do.

But, you don't punish a 6 year old for what you think it will escalate to. Even the legal system does not do that for adult sexual predators.

likitisplit

Sexual harassment isn't sexual assault. But they are both issues of entitlement. What they are punishing him for is not leaving her alone. They probably should have called it bullying but I'm not sure that would have gotten through to him mom.

dayone987

Ok, I didn't read the comments.

A six year old boy kissing a girl's hand is no way sexual harassment or something that should be handled so harshly. That is way more harmful to all the kids. The adults are sexualizing something that is not sexual to the kids.

That is not the same as sexual assault. When I was 9 I was sexually assaulted by a boy that was around 12. He was six feet tall. I was tiny. And yes, I fought back with all of my strength. And I already had a history of severe sexual abuse by my stepfather. This boy violated me. And I could not stop it, no matter how much I fought. And when I tried to get away, a group of kids dragged me back, so I was outnumbered. Although eventually I actually did end up kicking him in the face hard enough to get away. And at that point the other kids were in shock and let me go (because they didn't know what he was going to do when they had dragged me back).

Now, that scenario is a million times different from a six year old kissing a girl's hand. He should not be punished because of what other kids have done.

Sexual assault is sexual assault and there's no sense in blaming the victims.

But, there's also no sense and calling something sexual assault that is not sexual assault.

As adults we need to heal from our own issues and not put those issues onto innocent children. That creates more problems and does not solve problems.

Did you read about how this was a repeated behavior from this boy? That the girl had to ask her brother for protection?
If this was one of your girls, what would you say to her?

There is a difference between what I would say to her and what I would say to him. I think there is a healthier way of handling this for all of them. A way that would not have made this international news.

Quoted from news article:
Jade Masters-Ownbey, the mother of the girl Hunter is accused of kissing, told the local newspaper that the school district was right in protecting her daughter.
The mother, who is also a teacher in the school district, said Hunter had tried to kiss her daughter "over and over" without her permission, according to Canon City Daily Record.
"I've had to coach her about what to do when you don't want someone touching you, but they won't stop," Masters-Ownbey told the newspaper.

It seems that she did try to deal with it another way, to no avail.
I believe it was the boy's mom who made this national news, not the girl's mom.

She made it national news because of the outrageous label that they were trying to attach to him. Children are tracked, and that is the kind of thing that would have caused him problems for the remainder of his education, and could have even followed him into adulthood.

Fortunately, the school was wise enough to see why the label was not warranted. The boy was punished, the issue was addressed with the mother, and if the school really feared further inappropriate behavior on his part, or if the girl's mother insisted, then the kids can be separated.

But there is no sense in calling it something that it's not. It might look like sexual harassment, but the boy is in kindegarten. He's still getting oriented to that social setting. Kids have to learn boundaries and that can take time. To declare this sexual harassment implies that he had an understanding of those boundaries and performed the action with the intent to cross those boundaries. This was not the case.

The girl's mother should work with her daughter more on establishing boundaries because it was NOT the girl that reported the incident to the teacher.

I can see not calling it sexual harassment and the school has changed that. However, it was repeated inappropriate behavior that the boy's mom was not able to modify. I find it interesting that you call out the girl's mother for not working on establishing boundaries even though she did try.
Perhaps if the boy's mom had worked on dealing with his inappropriate behavior it would not have got to this point and he would not be suspended and there would not a national news story on it. It seems she is still more interested in identifying him to be the victim in this case and labeling the behavior as normal despite the fact it had been addressed previous to this incident.

mrsamanda86

So to the few of you who are still saying it should have been handled better than it was, how so? What I got from this is that the kid had been warned several times, and even suspended twice, the Mom apparently didn't do anything to get the kid to stop. The little girl felt so uncomfortable that the Mom had to talk to her and teach her how to handle the situation and the older brother felt the need to protect her.
Should the little boy have just repeatedly been put in time out? And the girl should just suffer until he somehow gets it, or doesn't ever get it... and just let the girl continue to have to deal with it??! ETA: And the rest of the class be put on hold every time he acts up like that.

Sounds like he was suspended twice for behaving inappropriately during school and his Mom was too lazy to teach her son anything. As for her making international news because she was outraged about her son being labeled a sex offender or whatever, seems like she kind of screwed that up. Now everyone will remember him, regardless as to what side they fall on and how they perceive this whole story.

UsedToBeHusky

Ok, I didn't read the comments.

A six year old boy kissing a girl's hand is no way sexual harassment or something that should be handled so harshly. That is way more harmful to all the kids. The adults are sexualizing something that is not sexual to the kids.

That is not the same as sexual assault. When I was 9 I was sexually assaulted by a boy that was around 12. He was six feet tall. I was tiny. And yes, I fought back with all of my strength. And I already had a history of severe sexual abuse by my stepfather. This boy violated me. And I could not stop it, no matter how much I fought. And when I tried to get away, a group of kids dragged me back, so I was outnumbered. Although eventually I actually did end up kicking him in the face hard enough to get away. And at that point the other kids were in shock and let me go (because they didn't know what he was going to do when they had dragged me back).

Now, that scenario is a million times different from a six year old kissing a girl's hand. He should not be punished because of what other kids have done.

Sexual assault is sexual assault and there's no sense in blaming the victims.

But, there's also no sense and calling something sexual assault that is not sexual assault.

As adults we need to heal from our own issues and not put those issues onto innocent children. That creates more problems and does not solve problems.

Did you read about how this was a repeated behavior from this boy? That the girl had to ask her brother for protection?
If this was one of your girls, what would you say to her?

There is a difference between what I would say to her and what I would say to him. I think there is a healthier way of handling this for all of them. A way that would not have made this international news.

Quoted from news article:
Jade Masters-Ownbey, the mother of the girl Hunter is accused of kissing, told the local newspaper that the school district was right in protecting her daughter.
The mother, who is also a teacher in the school district, said Hunter had tried to kiss her daughter "over and over" without her permission, according to Canon City Daily Record.
"I've had to coach her about what to do when you don't want someone touching you, but they won't stop," Masters-Ownbey told the newspaper.

It seems that she did try to deal with it another way, to no avail.
I believe it was the boy's mom who made this national news, not the girl's mom.

She made it national news because of the outrageous label that they were trying to attach to him. Children are tracked, and that is the kind of thing that would have caused him problems for the remainder of his education, and could have even followed him into adulthood.

Fortunately, the school was wise enough to see why the label was not warranted. The boy was punished, the issue was addressed with the mother, and if the school really feared further inappropriate behavior on his part, or if the girl's mother insisted, then the kids can be separated.

But there is no sense in calling it something that it's not. It might look like sexual harassment, but the boy is in kindegarten. He's still getting oriented to that social setting. Kids have to learn boundaries and that can take time. To declare this sexual harassment implies that he had an understanding of those boundaries and performed the action with the intent to cross those boundaries. This was not the case.

The girl's mother should work with her daughter more on establishing boundaries because it was NOT the girl that reported the incident to the teacher.

I can see not calling it sexual harassment and the school has changed that. However, it was repeated inappropriate behavior that the boy's mom was not able to modify. I find it interesting that you call out the girl's mother for not working on establishing boundaries even though she did try.
Perhaps if the boy's mom had worked on dealing with his inappropriate behavior it would not have got to this point and he would not be suspended and there would not a national news story on it. It seems she is still more interested in identifying him to be the victim in this case and labeling the behavior as normal despite the fact it had been addressed previous to this incident.

All the mother wanted was to remove the sexual harassment label, and that was announced this morning. We are still talking about it because this post was started yesterday. To the best of my knowledge, the whole matter is closed.

It's obvious that the boy's mother needs to emphasize boundaries in his home-training, but I mention the girl's mother doing likewise for her daughter because far too many women grow up not knowing how to establish those boundaries.

I know... I'm 35 and I'm just beginning to figure out how to do that. Just because the girl was "victimized" (as you would seem to imagine the situation to be) doesn't mean that there aren't lessons that she needs to learn here as well.

DamePiglet

So to the few of you who are still saying it should have been handled better than it was, how so? What I got from this is that the kid had been warned several times, and even suspended twice, the Mom apparently didn't do anything to get the kid to stop. The little girl felt so uncomfortable that the Mom had to talk to her and teach her how to handle the situation and the older brother felt the need to protect her.
Should the little boy have just repeatedly been put in time out? And the girl should just suffer until he somehow gets it, or doesn't ever get it... and just let the girl continue to have to deal with it??! ETA: And the rest of the class be put on hold every time he acts up like that.

Sounds like he was suspended twice for behaving inappropriately during school and his Mom was too lazy to teach her son anything. As for her making international news because she was outraged about her son being labeled a sex offender or whatever, seems like she kind of screwed that up. Now everyone will remember him, regardless as to what side they fall on and how they perceive this whole story.

Schools everywhere deal with this kind of thing on a daily basis. I dare say that most don't choose the "sexual harassment" route.

I have no idea what (besides the previous suspension) the school tried to do to alleviate the problem.

If moving him to another classroom is an option, that would be the first one I would consider.