Harming children to make yourself feel good?

LoraF83

Do I get frustrated at times by the amount of junk my kid eats at her grandparents house? Sure.

Do I mention in casual conversation her love of apples and yogurt? Yep. Do I bring bottled water and encourage her to drink it? Yes. Do I tell them how much she loves popcorn? Uh-huh.

Do I slam their food choices and make them feel bad for giving her something they see as a treat? No. Do I critique them and criticize their relationship with food and my child? Nope.


Have they changed the food that they feed her based on the hints and clues I give them? Yes. Does she still get a few treats? Yep.



Balance. You need to find it.

Phoenix_Warrior

We never allow our dogs people food, it is not good for them

True. A piece of steak is TERRIBLE for a dog. I mean, why would you feed a dog meat? It's not as though that's what they're built to eat or anything.

That doesn't make sense, dogs are carnivores!

But it's people food. People food is bad for dogs. They must only eat dog food.

How is it people food? cows aren't only for humans!

People eat steak. Therefore, it is people food and not for dogs. It will KILL them! KILL THEM!

Sugar will do that to kids so I guess it's all the same!

I was a kid once. I survived the sugar-acolpyse

Then why are we all here!? It's to lose weight because we indulged in too much sugar and fatty foods!

Right. This happened to me about the age of 19 on and wasnt actually because of sugar and fat. It was from eating too much of everything

NeverGonnaGiveYou_UP

SHUT UP

ArroganceInStep

Grandparents and aunties especially, and friends and relatives everywhere - please, please, please, please, please ask parents first BEFORE offering children sweets and treats!!!!! And NEVER sneak them treats when parents say no.

Of course you're not harming them on purpose, but a diet with too many cookies, cakes, candy and sweets is never good for anyone, especially children, especially when they are busy - and there are a lot of "special visits" during the holidays, so your offer might be a child's sixth cookie for the day.

Kids don't yet have the ability to make considered choices about their nutrition; their parents do. If you're going around Mom and Dad to feed them high calorie, nutritionally void food - you're getting your own, warm, fuzzy, heart warming smile, "thank you," and, "I love you," AT THEIR EXPENSE - in straight, harsh terms: YOU ARE HARMING THEM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. STOP.

You must be loads of fun at parties.

rml_16

We never allow our dogs people food, it is not good for them

True. A piece of steak is TERRIBLE for a dog. I mean, why would you feed a dog meat? It's not as though that's what they're built to eat or anything.

That doesn't make sense, dogs are carnivores!

But it's people food. People food is bad for dogs. They must only eat dog food.

I have a pomeranian with stomach problems and per the vet she can only eat certain dog foods OR I can make her food myself which is usually chicken rice and veggies. Now I mix it up and she gets half approved dog food and half rice mix. She is doing so well now. I love to see her playing and full of energy!

I actually don't give my minpin any table food because everything gives her diahrea (sp?), but I never had a dog before her that couldn't eat most "people" food and be fine.

Oh, she can tolerate cheese. But I use that to give her pills.

bf43005

We never allow our dogs people food, it is not good for them

True. A piece of steak is TERRIBLE for a dog. I mean, why would you feed a dog meat? It's not as though that's what they're built to eat or anything.

That doesn't make sense, dogs are carnivores!

Actually, they're omnivores. Cats are carnivores. One of my dogs get super excited for frozen mixed vegetables. The other much prefers cheese.

My dog will eat just about anything. She didn't like raw onions though LOL! It's not so much about people feeding her that I dislike as much as what they were giving her and how. Pretzels under the table don't make for a well behaved dog. A piece of steak cut up into her food bowl, not such a big deal

rml_16

Then why are we all here!? It's to lose weight because we indulged in too much sugar and fatty foods!

I didn't become overweight until I was nearly 30 years old and even then, it wasn't by much. Mostly I'm trying to lose vanity pounds. My profile photo is from yesterday morning and I'm 10 pounds lighter than my heaviest weight ever.

I eat sugar daily.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Do I get frustrated at times by the amount of junk my kid eats at her grandparents house? Sure.

Do I mention in casual conversation her love of apples and yogurt? Yep. Do I bring bottled water and encourage her to drink it? Yes. Do I tell them how much she loves popcorn? Uh-huh.

Do I slam their food choices and make them feel bad for giving her something they see as a treat? No. Do I critique them and criticize their relationship with food and my child? Nope.


Have they changed the food that they feed her based on the hints and clues I give them? Yes. Does she still get a few treats? Yep.



Balance. You need to find it.

OP pay attention to this. This is a completely reasonable response to the concerns you're expressing.

Calling grandmas and aunties selfish for giving your child a cookie is not.

mruntidy

If you gave them the treat by way of a slingshot, thus offsetting some of the calorific input would this appease all parties whilst making for an interesting 'hours of fun for the family' type game?

Obviously don't aim the slingshot at the child, that's just stupid

baldmitch

I thought this thread was going to be about Munchausen-by-Proxy...

Anyway, my young teen and young adult nieces and nephews use to give my kid chocolate at family get-togethers in the minutes before we left. I guess it was all fun and games for them.

We would figure it out on the car ride home because chocolate made my kid...different. He'd get supertalkative, laugh at his own toddler jokes, and his cackle had an extra intensity. The boy was, in his own toddler way, high as a kite.

Well, we figured we couldn't beat 'em, so we were gonna join 'em...at a much later date.

Now they have toddlers. But here' s the kicker. Our son is 18 and in college.

So, here's the stand-off: we don't give their children chocolate, and they don't get our son drunk at family weddings.

EvgeniZyntx

Have some marzipan babies

Wow! Who could actually bring themselves to eat those?!?!?

They are too adorable though!

Actually, I think those are fake but I love Marzipan.

wardances

Someone needs to make a compelling argument for kids = dogs quick or else this thread is going to get shut down extra quick for the hijack. So, here it goes:

Some people don't have kids. Some of those people who don't have kids have dogs. Some of those people consider those dogs to be their kids. Ergo, for some people kids = dogs. There!

Would it be safe to say that children, for the most part, are trainable just like dogs? Because I can fully attest to the fact that they're really not all that different in the beginning.

Francl27

That sixth cookie is vital. If a child eats six cookies in one day, ESPECIALLY DURING THE HOLIDAYS, it can be deadly.

Educate yourselves!

This.

Your child will only be harmed if he has an allergy. And then it's your duty to tell everyone not to feed him anything. Who cares if he eats a bit too many cookies during the Holidays, seriously?

Mother_Superior

.

MyPureSteez

Well there goes one of the fun parts about being a kid.

rml_16

That sixth cookie is vital. If a child eats six cookies in one day, ESPECIALLY DURING THE HOLIDAYS, it can be deadly.

Educate yourselves!

This.

Your child will only be harmed if he has an allergy. And then it's your duty to tell everyone not to feed him anything. Who cares if he eats a bit too many cookies during the Holidays, seriously?

My great-grandmother's cousin was a serious feeder. When I was maybe 4 or 5, we were at her house and she forced so many cookies on me I didn't want to eat another one for like a year. So in a way, it can work in your favor if people give your kids too many sweets.

Hellbent_Heidi

Unless your kids are with these people for extended periods of time, I think you're being a bit melodramatic...a few extra cookies or a candy bar from grandma isn’t going to cause long-term damage.

As an Aunt, my philosophy was always "the parents are responsible for handling the things they NEED and day-to-day issues, and in the limited amount of time I get to see them, I'll handle the fun things they want (within reason)". :ohwell:

elyelyse

Evil evil lebkuchen

these ARE evil!!!!!! (but mostly because I can't eat any less than the entire box.)

SStruthers13

This is not a food issue. You should never undermine a parents rules unless it is illegal or harming the child.

RGv2

Grandparents and aunties especially, and friends and relatives everywhere - please, please, please, please, please ask parents first BEFORE offering children sweets and treats!!!!! And NEVER sneak them treats when parents say no.

Of course you're not harming them on purpose, but a diet with too many cookies, cakes, candy and sweets is never good for anyone, especially children, especially when they are busy - and there are a lot of "special visits" during the holidays, so your offer might be a child's sixth cookie for the day.

Kids don't yet have the ability to make considered choices about their nutrition; their parents do. If you're going around Mom and Dad to feed them high calorie, nutritionally void food - you're getting your own, warm, fuzzy, heart warming smile, "thank you," and, "I love you," AT THEIR EXPENSE - in straight, harsh terms: YOU ARE HARMING THEM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. STOP.