Holy sexism, batman!

JingleMuffin

Head up, power walk on. make sure they see you seeing them. keep it together girl. not fun

babyj0

That wasn't sexism, just a few guys being pigs.

Next time walk with your head up and confident. If you feel threatened look them in the face. Guys won't attack or try to touch you if there's a chance you could describe them to the police. Keeping your head down is more likely to lead to an attack because you look unsure, weak and timid.

This.

It happens to most of us. Try not to show fear, although it is super uncomfortable.

WhoHa42

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

Um like I said, if both parties are intoxicated.

Say you go out to the bar, meet a girl, bring her back home. She's definitely down for sex, in fact taking your clothes off. You guys do the deed, while both of you are drunk. She can turn around the next morning and charge you for rape.

How can anyone think that is just? Are you saying that women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds? But I thought men and women were equal?

WisiPls

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

and only if we could teach people how to read

Fullsterkur_woman

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

Um like I said, if both parties are intoxicated.

Say you go out to the bar, meet a girl, bring her back home. She's definitely down for sex, in fact taking your clothes off. You guys do the deed, while both of you are drunk. She can turn around the next morning and charge you for rape.

How can anyone think that is just? Are you saying that women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds? But I thought men and women were equal?

I will say this, clearly and unequivocally, one. more. time. There should not be such a double standard as you have described. What you are describing is wrong. No I am not saying women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds. That is the double standard you have described. I most certainly do not think that.

What I *am* saying is that neither party was capable of giving informed, enthusiastic consent.

So, maybe don't do the deed when you're impaired. I know, that's a crazy radical idea. Nobody ever got their rocks off when they were stone cold sober.

W0rthless_Her0

I feel like we are getting very off topic.

On topic, what those men did was not sexism.

/thread

this^

it wasn't rape either

agreed very off topic. mostly because the topic was unclear or overstepping to begin with. where or where is OP to clear this all up?

what is that thing called when someone starts a topic that can get out of hand and then sits back and lulz?

It's called

Its called basket full of rolls?

Its called a bread basket?

WhoHa42

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

The problem with your logic is that you put absolutely no responsibility on one party and all of the responsibility on the other. Even though both are adults capable of making decisions for themselves. Anyone that has sex while drunk has either been raped (female) or has raped (male) according to you.

WhoHa42

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

Um like I said, if both parties are intoxicated.

Say you go out to the bar, meet a girl, bring her back home. She's definitely down for sex, in fact taking your clothes off. You guys do the deed, while both of you are drunk. She can turn around the next morning and charge you for rape.

How can anyone think that is just? Are you saying that women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds? But I thought men and women were equal?

I will say this, clearly and unequivocally, one. more. time. There should not be such a double standard as you have described. What you are describing is wrong. No I am not saying women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds. That is the double standard you have described. I most certainly do not think that.

What I *am* saying is that neither party was capable of giving informed, enthusiastic consent.

So, maybe don't do the deed when you're impaired. I know, that's a crazy radical idea. Nobody ever got their rocks off when they were stone cold sober.

Wait so no one should have sex if they've been drinking? Are you serious? Lol ok I'm out this is ridiculous.

Fullsterkur_woman

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

The problem with your logic is that you put absolutely no responsibility on one party and all of the responsibility on the other. Even though both are adults capable of making decisions for themselves. Anyone that has sex while drunk has either been raped (female) or has raped (male) according to you.

Exactly how does it put all the responsibility on one party and none on the other? I am saying that each person has 100% responsibility to make sure that they have affirmative consent. You keep trying to take all the agency from the woman, in that a woman can only be a victim and a man can only be a perpetrator. I deny that explicitly, so I can't possibly be forcing all of the responsibility onto one party and absolving the other party of all responsibility.

Fullsterkur_woman

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

Um like I said, if both parties are intoxicated.

Say you go out to the bar, meet a girl, bring her back home. She's definitely down for sex, in fact taking your clothes off. You guys do the deed, while both of you are drunk. She can turn around the next morning and charge you for rape.

How can anyone think that is just? Are you saying that women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds? But I thought men and women were equal?

I will say this, clearly and unequivocally, one. more. time. There should not be such a double standard as you have described. What you are describing is wrong. No I am not saying women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds. That is the double standard you have described. I most certainly do not think that.

What I *am* saying is that neither party was capable of giving informed, enthusiastic consent.

So, maybe don't do the deed when you're impaired. I know, that's a crazy radical idea. Nobody ever got their rocks off when they were stone cold sober.

Wait so no one should have sex if they've been drinking? Are you serious? Lol ok I'm out this is ridiculous.

Drink|Drunk. Know your line.

If it works for driving a frickin' car, why is it so crazy for applying to intimate actions involving another human being's body?!

W0rthless_Her0

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

The problem with your logic is that you put absolutely no responsibility on one party and all of the responsibility on the other. Even though both are adults capable of making decisions for themselves. Anyone that has sex while drunk has either been raped (female) or has raped (male) according to you.

Its okay. None of us expected to login to MFP today to find out weve either raped or been raped and did not know it.

Im here for you if you need me. :flowerforyou:

WhoHa42

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

The problem with your logic is that you put absolutely no responsibility on one party and all of the responsibility on the other. Even though both are adults capable of making decisions for themselves. Anyone that has sex while drunk has either been raped (female) or has raped (male) according to you.

Exactly how does it put all the responsibility on one party and none on the other? I am saying that each person has 100% responsibility to make sure that they have affirmative consent. You keep trying to take all the agency from the woman, in that a woman can only be a victim and a man can only be a perpetrator. I deny that explicitly, so I can't possibly be forcing all of the responsibility onto one party and absolving the other party of all responsibility.

Because that's how it actually is. If neither party said they consent and they just had drunken sex, the next morning the girl can claim she was raped because she didn't give consent. They don't care if the man gave consent or not, he's getting arrested either way. You hear about cases like this every day and it weakens a real accusation of rape.

I'm not necessarily talking about people actually being too drunk to know what's going on. But if that was the case all of the responsibility would still be on the man. When have you ever seen a woman get arrested on a false rape charge from intercourse that both people consented to while drunk the night before?

Fullsterkur_woman

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

The problem with your logic is that you put absolutely no responsibility on one party and all of the responsibility on the other. Even though both are adults capable of making decisions for themselves. Anyone that has sex while drunk has either been raped (female) or has raped (male) according to you.

Exactly how does it put all the responsibility on one party and none on the other? I am saying that each person has 100% responsibility to make sure that they have affirmative consent. You keep trying to take all the agency from the woman, in that a woman can only be a victim and a man can only be a perpetrator. I deny that explicitly, so I can't possibly be forcing all of the responsibility onto one party and absolving the other party of all responsibility.

Because that's how it actually is. If neither party said they consent and they just had drunken sex, the next morning the girl can claim she was raped because she didn't give consent. They don't care if the man gave consent or not, he's getting arrested either way. You hear about cases like this every day and it weakens a real accusation of rape.

I'm not necessarily talking about people actually being too drunk to know what's going on. But if that was the case all of the responsibility would still be on the man. When have you ever seen a woman get arrested on a false rape charge from intercourse that both people consented to while drunk the night before?

So instead of working on society to eliminate the double standard, we just trot out chestnuts about "real rape". Can you not even meet me halfway here?

ETA: I am exactly saying that allowing this double standard denies agency to women and is sexist in and of itself. The rules *should* be applied equally.

WhoHa42

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

The problem with your logic is that you put absolutely no responsibility on one party and all of the responsibility on the other. Even though both are adults capable of making decisions for themselves. Anyone that has sex while drunk has either been raped (female) or has raped (male) according to you.

Exactly how does it put all the responsibility on one party and none on the other? I am saying that each person has 100% responsibility to make sure that they have affirmative consent. You keep trying to take all the agency from the woman, in that a woman can only be a victim and a man can only be a perpetrator. I deny that explicitly, so I can't possibly be forcing all of the responsibility onto one party and absolving the other party of all responsibility.

Because that's how it actually is. If neither party said they consent and they just had drunken sex, the next morning the girl can claim she was raped because she didn't give consent. They don't care if the man gave consent or not, he's getting arrested either way. You hear about cases like this every day and it weakens a real accusation of rape.

I'm not necessarily talking about people actually being too drunk to know what's going on. But if that was the case all of the responsibility would still be on the man. When have you ever seen a woman get arrested on a false rape charge from intercourse that both people consented to while drunk the night before?

So instead of working on society to eliminate the double standard, we just trot out chestnuts about "real rape". Can you not even meet me halfway here?

I don't understand what you're saying? I never said there was no such thing as date rape or anything like that. But placing all of the responsibility on men when both parties are adults is completely ridiculous. And how easily a man's life can be ruined by a false rape charge is insane, and most of the time after they are found out to be false, the woman gets no charge or a significantly lesser charge.

I was just reading an article the other day about a girl claiming a man raped her, him getting 4 years in prison without any proof besides her testimony, then when she admitted she lied she only got 2 years in prison and got to serve her sentence on weekends. The justice system is completely insane when it comes to these cases.

Edit: Yeah we can agree on that, but allowing this to continue isn't going to get rid of the double standard.

wiscck

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

Um like I said, if both parties are intoxicated.

Say you go out to the bar, meet a girl, bring her back home. She's definitely down for sex, in fact taking your clothes off. You guys do the deed, while both of you are drunk. She can turn around the next morning and charge you for rape.

How can anyone think that is just? Are you saying that women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds? But I thought men and women were equal?

I will say this, clearly and unequivocally, one. more. time. There should not be such a double standard as you have described. What you are describing is wrong. No I am not saying women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds. That is the double standard you have described. I most certainly do not think that.

What I *am* saying is that neither party was capable of giving informed, enthusiastic consent.

So, maybe don't do the deed when you're impaired. I know, that's a crazy radical idea. Nobody ever got their rocks off when they were stone cold sober.

Wait so no one should have sex if they've been drinking? Are you serious? Lol ok I'm out this is ridiculous.

Drink|Drunk. Know your line.

If it works for driving a frickin' car, why is it so crazy for applying to intimate actions involving another human being's body?!

Exactly. Don't have sex with someone who wouldn't consent to sleeping with you while s/he was sober.

ETA: There have been lots of advice to women in this thread about how to not get harassed. Here's some advice for men who don't want someone to falsely accuse them of rape: Don't have sex with people you don't trust, and don't have sex with someone who is drunk, high, or otherwise impaired. Easy peasy!

WisiPls

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

Um like I said, if both parties are intoxicated.

Say you go out to the bar, meet a girl, bring her back home. She's definitely down for sex, in fact taking your clothes off. You guys do the deed, while both of you are drunk. She can turn around the next morning and charge you for rape.

How can anyone think that is just? Are you saying that women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds? But I thought men and women were equal?

I will say this, clearly and unequivocally, one. more. time. There should not be such a double standard as you have described. What you are describing is wrong. No I am not saying women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds. That is the double standard you have described. I most certainly do not think that.

What I *am* saying is that neither party was capable of giving informed, enthusiastic consent.

So, maybe don't do the deed when you're impaired. I know, that's a crazy radical idea. Nobody ever got their rocks off when they were stone cold sober.

Wait so no one should have sex if they've been drinking? Are you serious? Lol ok I'm out this is ridiculous.

Drink|Drunk. Know your line.

If it works for driving a frickin' car, why is it so crazy for applying to intimate actions involving another human being's body?!

Exactly. Don't have sex with someone who wouldn't consent to sleeping with you while s/he was sober.

You look like a teacher, so I expected you to read and comprehend what whoha was saying, but somehow you seemed to have missed it all

"As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand. "

hes saying if both parties are drunk, not just a sober guy trying to take advantage of a drunk chick.

also I doubt you have this problem anyway

W0rthless_Her0

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

Um like I said, if both parties are intoxicated.

Say you go out to the bar, meet a girl, bring her back home. She's definitely down for sex, in fact taking your clothes off. You guys do the deed, while both of you are drunk. She can turn around the next morning and charge you for rape.

How can anyone think that is just? Are you saying that women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds? But I thought men and women were equal?

I will say this, clearly and unequivocally, one. more. time. There should not be such a double standard as you have described. What you are describing is wrong. No I am not saying women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds. That is the double standard you have described. I most certainly do not think that.

What I *am* saying is that neither party was capable of giving informed, enthusiastic consent.

So, maybe don't do the deed when you're impaired. I know, that's a crazy radical idea. Nobody ever got their rocks off when they were stone cold sober.

Wait so no one should have sex if they've been drinking? Are you serious? Lol ok I'm out this is ridiculous.

Drink|Drunk. Know your line.

If it works for driving a frickin' car, why is it so crazy for applying to intimate actions involving another human being's body?!

Exactly. Don't have sex with someone who wouldn't consent to sleeping with you while s/he was sober.

ETA: There have been lots of advice to women in this thread about how to not get harassed. Here's some advice for men who don't want someone to falsely accuse them of rape: Don't have sex with people you don't trust, and don't have sex with someone who is drunk, high, or otherwise impaired. Easy peasy!

So what happens when someone changes their mind after the fact? Cause that never happens. EVER

Easy Peasy!!!

cafeaulait7

I haven't read most of the pages, but I'm going to comment at the point where men are laughing about how thinking a man 'looking at you' gets connected with rape in your mind.

I have been in situations where kidnapping was the motive, and one where rape definitely was. Those men really do look at you in the same creepy way some guys do when you are alone in a secluded spot or alley, etc. I think maybe men can't understand how some men do look at us (because they don't get that in life: rape is generally not going to happen to them).

If the guys aren't creepers about to make their move, someone should really tell them to stop doing that junkyard dog stare. It's freaky beyond belief and imho a clue, yes. Normal guys don't do that (unless it's a strange lack of inhibition when drunk; that seems possible).

Normal guys reading these things need to understand that random, strange guys around aren't necessarily similar to you! Don't take it personally. All men are not wonderful creatures like you and your pals, and crime statistics obviously bear that out.

wiscck

I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.

So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.

date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.

As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.

If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/

Um like I said, if both parties are intoxicated.

Say you go out to the bar, meet a girl, bring her back home. She's definitely down for sex, in fact taking your clothes off. You guys do the deed, while both of you are drunk. She can turn around the next morning and charge you for rape.

How can anyone think that is just? Are you saying that women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds? But I thought men and women were equal?

I will say this, clearly and unequivocally, one. more. time. There should not be such a double standard as you have described. What you are describing is wrong. No I am not saying women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds. That is the double standard you have described. I most certainly do not think that.

What I *am* saying is that neither party was capable of giving informed, enthusiastic consent.

So, maybe don't do the deed when you're impaired. I know, that's a crazy radical idea. Nobody ever got their rocks off when they were stone cold sober.

Wait so no one should have sex if they've been drinking? Are you serious? Lol ok I'm out this is ridiculous.

Drink|Drunk. Know your line.

If it works for driving a frickin' car, why is it so crazy for applying to intimate actions involving another human being's body?!

Exactly. Don't have sex with someone who wouldn't consent to sleeping with you while s/he was sober.

You look like a teacher, so I expected you to read and comprehend what whoha was saying, but somehow you seemed to have missed it all

"As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand. "

hes saying if both parties are drunk, not just a sober guy trying to take advantage of a drunk chick.

also I doubt you have this problem anyway

Not a teacher any more. Whoha seems to think street harassment is funny, which I comprehended when I read all the "lol"s he was typing. If a woman consents to sex and then later accuses a man of rape, that's a terrible thing to do.

And I have no idea what you mean when you say you doubt I have this problem. I've never falsely accused someone of rape, but I have been harassed on the street, which is what this started out as.

Fullsterkur_woman

Drink|Drunk. Know your line.

If it works for driving a frickin' car, why is it so crazy for applying to intimate actions involving another human being's body?!

Exactly. Don't have sex with someone who wouldn't consent to sleeping with you while s/he was sober.

You look like a teacher, so I expected you to read and comprehend what whoha was saying, but somehow you seemed to have missed it all

"As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand. "

hes saying if both parties are drunk, not just a sober guy trying to take advantage of a drunk chick.

also I doubt you have this problem anyway

Not a teacher any more. Whoha seems to think street harassment is funny, which I comprehended when I read all the "lol"s he was typing. If a woman consents to sex and then later accuses a man of rape, that's a terrible thing to do.

And I have no idea what you mean when you say you doubt I have this problem. I've never falsely accused someone of rape, but I have been harassed on the street, which is what this started out as.

Whatever he meant, it certainly wasn't sexist. At all. :huh: