"Please include a message with your friend request.."

ItsMeGee3

:laugh:

FrauMama

I just think it's polite to send a message.

Also, it let's the person know why you want to add them as a friend.

Agreed. Straight-up common courtesy--something which can be severely lacking on the internet.

DamePiglet

bloominheck

No message.. no problem. I wouldnt read it anyway....:smokin:

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

From OP's profile,

Reward 130lbs lost- Colonic Hydrotherapy





Out for colon cleanse...

Oh. :indifferent:

32sami

I'm just building my list. Don't need a reason why you want to be my friend cause considering we don't actually know each other I would assume it's bs anyway. I'll add whomever, overtime if you're someone I like, yay, if you're nuts, that's what the delete button is for.

jalara

So the OP (original poster) is asking why people are maintaining privacy? Or why they don't want to allow just anyone onto their profile?
Did it occur to her that she is judging people for their alleged judging?

OatFloats

I hate it when nobody "likes" that I ate cheeseburger and pizza and chocolate in one day and bothered to log it. Makes me want to rage clean my friends list. Withdrawing supportive comments is almost as bad as being openly judgemental. It fit my macros...ya know?

Totally going to have all my future friends sign contracts of their unwavering support.

JONZ64

I don't accept random friend requests from people who aren't friends of mutual friends unless they have a really good reason for why they want to be my friend.

I don't accept blank friend requests from anyone. No matter who they are.

I like to keep my friend list manageable. Too many people and you can't be supportive/develop any kind of relationship with them.

I'm not here to just collect people and won't be collected by anyone else.

If I do accept someone on my list and then they don't interact with me I delete them.

I call them standards. You can call it whatever you like. It's my friend list so what's it to you how I manage it?

ETA: I'm really just a b!tch. That's what it boils down to.

THIS!

jonnythan

I hate it when nobody "likes" that I ate cheeseburger and pizza and chocolate in one day and bothered to log it. Makes me want to rage clean my friends list. Withdrawing supportive comments is almost as bad as being openly judgemental. It fit my macros...ya know?

Totally going to have all my future friends sign contracts of their unwavering support.

I have people like my diary entries when I eat pizza and chocolate. And ice cream and cookies and...

cmcollins001

Been waiting to use this one

Yes...yes I do. And even though your are SO popular, you still haven't succumb to my overwhelmning awesomeness and sent me a friend request like all of your other friends have.

Give in. Seriously, you've fought it for far too long.

Send the request. You know you want to.



PS: Don't forget to add a message.

skullshank

It seems like this is something said because someone else said it on their profile. To be exclusive you must add this disclaimer to your profile. Miss me with that...
When did this become so important or the norm?
Just sounds like some MFPers are becoming friending snobs.
Some of them won't admit they are quick to accept a friend request on FB and 9x/10 there is no accompanying message.
Some people have gotten a little above themselves.

Or the other one that gets me is, "I'm not adding anymore new friends"

What the what?! It's not like there's a fire code for your friend's list...

Then another thing that gets me is that people go on to justify why they need a message LOL. As if the message makes the person no longer a stranger.

Insanity at its best....
That's team too much for me...

and just for the record, im only accepting mutuals at this point in time.

good luck OP!

Wanna be freinds?

hell yes!
hit me up gurrrrrrrrrl!

BinaryPulsar

How can we be supportive to our friends if we have tons and tons? And how can we be supportive if we know nothing about them or why they want to be our friend? What if it is a major mismatch? How do we decide to accept or not? If all requests have no message, then we will decline or we will accept and delete. I can't keep track of all these friends. You only have 29 friends. If we accept all requests we will have 1000 friends asking us what juice detox they think is best or other random things that we are not into.

And on FB I am friends with people I know or that I know through other friends or through dancing. I do not accept friend requests from random strangers that I have never interacted with. So, the comparison you made is incorrect. On FB I know who my friends are. On here I am not friends with anyone that I know IRL.

Your judgement is based on the fact that you have had a different experience on mfp, and you don't understand the experience other people have had. So you assume some kind of ill intent. I don't even understand why it bothers you to the point you need to post a thread about it (also people posts threads like this all the time, it's getting old).

Who is being unreasonable here? We ask that people who send us a friend request include a simple little note. You are asking everyone on mfp to go into detail about why they ask that. Personally I have included and removed that sentence many times. But, it's much better when it is there. If everyone sent messages then I could remove it. I try to keep it simple and to the point.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

orrrr...... we may already have a large friend list and try to interact with all of them. How would I be able to interact with and know all of my friends, if I willy nilly added every single friend request?

elenathegreat

breakingthecycle722

I think I have like 10 friends, and they are all hilarious, active posters, and supper supportive! I contemplated finding more friends on here but have yet to go through with it. I like the ones I have, no need to overload and miss out on their posts, most are priceless

BrainyBurro

On FB, I am not friends with people I don't know in PERSON or have some other connection to, and am really not interested in it here (though don't have the disclaimer on my wall). But, really, I don't accept most friend requests because making random internet acquaintances is not at all why I'm on MFP. I'd been on this site for a couple of years before deleting that profile, and--while I think the support is awesome and very useful and motivating *if that's what you're looking for*--the constant "What a burn!" or "Great day staying under calories!" or whatever comments were sort of annoying to me. Clearly there are people who just post those comments on everyone's wall, and expect the same.
Plus, of course this is a dating site for many, which--again--I have 0 interest in. And also, seeing what some people eat who consider themselves healthy actually eat is, well, beyond my tolerance level. :0

So, yeah, a comment would be nice IF a FR is sent--and I understand the reasons for putting that on your wall--but building a huge list of randoms is not why some of us are here. I just like the logging capabilities and ease of MFP, and occasionally looking at the discussion boards (well, until they make me want to poke my eyes out with all the rudeness and "Doughnut are perfectly healthy!" crap.)

you seem positively delightful. :flowerforyou:

Iron_Duchess

I used to accept all friend requests until I noticed that the majority of the people that sent the FRs without a message never interact and stop logging for days. It’s my space and I need to be comfortable around my wall. I clean my list regularly because I’m not going to invest in someone that is not willing to put the time or the effort. I always include a carefully written message when I send a request and I expect others to give me the courtesy to, at least try, do the same.

salembambi

I could care less and accept any friend request sent to me

I am not a good mfp friend .. I dont leave "good burn" or "wow nice food man " or whatever on peoples stuff

I never even really look at the feed thing... people just add me..meh

You really should see a therapist.

ReinasWrath

So wanting friends you actually communicate with and have things in common with is now being arrogant?

b3st

If you can't be bothered to send a message then you aren't likely to support the friend..
Which defeats the purpose of being a friend, unless you want to just creep all day....lol.

Manners cost nothing..

WendyTerry420

I used to accept all friend requests until I noticed that the majority of the people that sent the FRs without a message never interact and stop logging for days. It’s my space and I need to be comfortable around my wall. I clean my list regularly because I’m not going to invest in someone that is not willing to put the time or the effort. I always include a carefully written message when I send a request and I expect others to give at the courtesy to, at least try, do the same.

^^ This



Personally, I give people about two weeks of not logging, and then I cut them.

elenathegreat

I like to ensure that my creepers are creepy enough . . . without being too creepy. There's a nice balance, for example if I have to look at your hard **** everytime I pull up my profile because you're one of the last people I friended and you can't be bothered to put on pants . . . the answer is no. I have a hard **** at home, and sometimes I don't even want to see that one, strange **** stopped being interesting to me once I got through puberty. There is nothing interesting to me about random hard **** (except writing random hard ****).

Now, a good dirty conversation filled with speculation and inuendo will keep me interested all day long.

There is also the fact that I tend to be a pretty private person because I've met some really psycho people on other forums who ended up having some serious institutional type issues. There is exactly one person on the planet with my name, and the records where I live are not private, so I like to know who I'm pals with.

Hello there, darling.

DeltaZero

I could care less and accept any friend request sent to me

I am not a good mfp friend .. I dont leave "good burn" or "wow nice food man " or whatever on peoples stuff

I never even really look at the feed thing... people just add me..meh

You really should see a therapist.

CallMeCupcakeDammit

I don't accept random friend requests from people who aren't friends of mutual friends unless they have a really good reason for why they want to be my friend.

I don't accept blank friend requests from anyone. No matter who they are.

I like to keep my friend list manageable. Too many people and you can't be supportive/develop any kind of relationship with them.

I'm not here to just collect people and won't be collected by anyone else.

If I do accept someone on my list and then they don't interact with me I delete them.

I call them standards. You can call it whatever you like. It's my friend list so what's it to you how I manage it?

ETA: I'm really just a b!tch. That's what it boils down to.

Basically this. I used to add anyone, and that's how my list got to be so big that I can't keep up with everyone, so I had to limit myself. If that makes me arrogant, then ok. *shrugs*

redladywitch

I think you need to take a nap. Some people need to get more sleep because they're cranky. Then again, you might need to eat a pop tart.

mjterp

Really, it isn't about being a snob. When I send a friend request, I let the person know HOW I found them and WHY I think they would make a great addition for my journey. I ALSO include my real name and a summary of how I envision my journey.

EXAMPLE: Hi mjterp, My name is Marjorie and I saw your comment on the post about women lifting. ROCK ON!!! I took a peek at your profile and noticed that we are about the same age and you have done a GREAT job of getting in shape. I'd love to be able to peruse your diary and snag some ideas for my own journey. I am doing this one habit at a time and my current habit is to add more vegies.

I look forward to connecting with you. If you decide that this isn't a match, know that I wish you the best on your journey, and thank you for your time!

Sincerely,
Marjorie


Help?

SaintGiff

I could care less and accept any friend request sent to me

I am not a good mfp friend .. I dont leave "good burn" or "wow nice food man " or whatever on peoples stuff

I never even really look at the feed thing... people just add me..meh

You really should see a therapist.

You should know that I am seriously developing a crush on you.

UsedToBeHusky

I found that the newsfeed moved too fast if I had too many friends and I missed some important status updates. Very dear friends were going through some terrible things in their lives and I wasn't there to support them because the 500 other friends on my list were posting simultaneously. So I chose to be a bit more discretionary with my friends list.

Why do you have to concern yourself with how others choose to manage their lives?

bloominheck

I could care less and accept any friend request sent to me

I am not a good mfp friend .. I dont leave "good burn" or "wow nice food man " or whatever on peoples stuff

I never even really look at the feed thing... people just add me..meh

Are you my long lost twin sister?????