"Please include a message with your friend request.."

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  • TheEffort
    TheEffort Posts: 1,028 Member
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    OP, you have (currently) 29 friends, and I'm fairly confident that not all 29 people post on your wall or even their wall on a regular basis. I'm not just talking about "So and So ate food and their calories were less than whatever" or "So and So walked an imaginary dog for bloated calories burned" type of posts, I'm talking about active, post everything from my kids won't go to sleep to I haven't pooped in days.

    When you have 290 friends on your list, all posting really interesting, stupid, mind-numbing, boring, exciting, life altering things, you just can't keep up. You can't be interactive. You can't be supportive. Your super witty comment just gets lost in the sea of 1000 other super witty comments.

    I currently have 100 friends. Probably 2/3 rds of them are active on their walls, on other peoples walls, and in the forums...that's a lot of information to follow.

    Having "friends" just to have "friends" doesn't do much for me, personally. I want at least most of the people on my friends list to be active, funny, interesting and some-what able to handle my humor, sarcasm, cynicism, and out right awesomeness. Having a friend request with a message as to why you want to be my friend helps in weeding out those who will either complain about what I post, or immediately un-friend me.

    Just because I made an awesomely helpful post one day and you happen to agree with what I wrote, doesn't mean that I want to be buddies and listen to you complain that they are on day 3 of a 7 lemonade cleanse. Some people are incompatible, and a message is just a way to help understand each other.

    ^^^ awesome response.
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
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    tumblr_mzbl6qx2bW1tp2ch4o1_250_zpsd5314e98.gif
    Been waiting to use this one
  • OnAllFours
    OnAllFours Posts: 170 Member
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    As part of Team Too Much For You, I approve of new ways to fish for FR's. This one is so far out there it might just work. Good for you for thinking outside the bun. :drinker:
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
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    There is certainly "some" snobbery on MFP, but I really could not care less. I accept any FR I get, however, I am quick to dump the 1200 calorie drama queens and the oh I just cant keep it up I am so discouraged folks.
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
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    Just break up.

    Or, FR sent. I dunno.....
  • marianne_s
    marianne_s Posts: 986 Member
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    I just think it's polite to send a message.

    Also, it let's the person know why you want to add them as a friend.
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
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    I accept all FR but clean out my FL if they do not interact or log on. Nothing against them, just no point in having them on the list.

    I do this as well. The question for me is how long should it be that someone hasn't logged in? I usually wait about 2 or 3 weeks. Quality, not quantity!
  • FrauMama
    FrauMama Posts: 169 Member
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    On FB, I am not friends with people I don't know in PERSON or have some other connection to, and am really not interested in it here (though don't have the disclaimer on my wall). But, really, I don't accept most friend requests because making random internet acquaintances is not at all why I'm on MFP. I'd been on this site for a couple of years before deleting that profile, and--while I think the support is awesome and very useful and motivating *if that's what you're looking for*--the constant "What a burn!" or "Great day staying under calories!" or whatever comments were sort of annoying to me. Clearly there are people who just post those comments on everyone's wall, and expect the same.
    Plus, of course this is a dating site for many, which--again--I have 0 interest in. And also, seeing what some people eat who consider themselves healthy actually eat is, well, beyond my tolerance level. :0

    So, yeah, a comment would be nice IF a FR is sent--and I understand the reasons for putting that on your wall--but building a huge list of randoms is not why some of us are here. I just like the logging capabilities and ease of MFP, and occasionally looking at the discussion boards (well, until they make me want to poke my eyes out with all the rudeness and "Doughnut are perfectly healthy!" crap.)
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    OP, you have (currently) 29 friends, and I'm fairly confident that not all 29 people post on your wall or even their wall on a regular basis. I'm not just talking about "So and So ate food and their calories were less than whatever" or "So and So walked an imaginary dog for bloated calories burned" type of posts, I'm talking about active, post everything from my kids won't go to sleep to I haven't pooped in days.

    When you have 290 friends on your list, all posting really interesting, stupid, mind-numbing, boring, exciting, life altering things, you just can't keep up. You can't be interactive. You can't be supportive. Your super witty comment just gets lost in the sea of 1000 other super witty comments.

    I currently have 100 friends. Probably 2/3 rds of them are active on their walls, on other peoples walls, and in the forums...that's a lot of information to follow.

    Having "friends" just to have "friends" doesn't do much for me, personally. I want at least most of the people on my friends list to be active, funny, interesting and some-what able to handle my humor, sarcasm, cynicism, and out right awesomeness. Having a friend request with a message as to why you want to be my friend helps in weeding out those who will either complain about what I post, or immediately un-friend me.

    Just because I made an awesomely helpful post one day and you happen to agree with what I wrote, doesn't mean that I want to be buddies and listen to you complain that they are on day 3 of a 7 lemonade cleanse. Some people are incompatible, and a message is just a way to help understand each other.

    I love this ******* guy....

    brohug.gif
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    I like to ensure that my creepers are creepy enough . . . without being too creepy. There's a nice balance, for example if I have to look at your hard **** everytime I pull up my profile because you're one of the last people I friended and you can't be bothered to put on pants . . . the answer is no. I have a hard **** at home, and sometimes I don't even want to see that one, strange **** stopped being interesting to me once I got through puberty. There is nothing interesting to me about random hard **** (except writing random hard ****).

    Now, a good dirty conversation filled with speculation and inuendo will keep me interested all day long.

    There is also the fact that I tend to be a pretty private person because I've met some really psycho people on other forums who ended up having some serious institutional type issues. There is exactly one person on the planet with my name, and the records where I live are not private, so I like to know who I'm pals with.
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
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    giphy.gif
    :laugh:
  • FrauMama
    FrauMama Posts: 169 Member
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    I just think it's polite to send a message.

    Also, it let's the person know why you want to add them as a friend.

    Agreed. Straight-up common courtesy--something which can be severely lacking on the internet.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    derp_700x525_1b78.jpg
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
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    No message.. no problem. I wouldnt read it anyway....:smokin:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    From OP's profile,

    Reward 130lbs lost- Colonic Hydrotherapy





    Out for colon cleanse...

    Oh. :indifferent:
  • 32sami
    32sami Posts: 380 Member
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    I'm just building my list. Don't need a reason why you want to be my friend cause considering we don't actually know each other I would assume it's bs anyway. I'll add whomever, overtime if you're someone I like, yay, if you're nuts, that's what the delete button is for. :D
  • jalara
    jalara Posts: 2,622 Member
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    So the OP (original poster) is asking why people are maintaining privacy? Or why they don't want to allow just anyone onto their profile?
    Did it occur to her that she is judging people for their alleged judging?
  • OatFloats
    OatFloats Posts: 119
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    I hate it when nobody "likes" that I ate cheeseburger and pizza and chocolate in one day and bothered to log it. Makes me want to rage clean my friends list. Withdrawing supportive comments is almost as bad as being openly judgemental. It fit my macros...ya know?

    Totally going to have all my future friends sign contracts of their unwavering support.
  • JONZ64
    JONZ64 Posts: 1,280 Member
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    I don't accept random friend requests from people who aren't friends of mutual friends unless they have a really good reason for why they want to be my friend.

    I don't accept blank friend requests from anyone. No matter who they are.

    I like to keep my friend list manageable. Too many people and you can't be supportive/develop any kind of relationship with them.

    I'm not here to just collect people and won't be collected by anyone else.

    If I do accept someone on my list and then they don't interact with me I delete them.

    I call them standards. You can call it whatever you like. It's my friend list so what's it to you how I manage it?

    ETA: I'm really just a b!tch. That's what it boils down to.


    THIS!:smile:
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
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    I hate it when nobody "likes" that I ate cheeseburger and pizza and chocolate in one day and bothered to log it. Makes me want to rage clean my friends list. Withdrawing supportive comments is almost as bad as being openly judgemental. It fit my macros...ya know?

    Totally going to have all my future friends sign contracts of their unwavering support.

    I have people like my diary entries when I eat pizza and chocolate. And ice cream and cookies and...

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