Poll: Giving compliments at the gym?

SunofaBeach14

I don't give compliments besides to my workout partner if she rocks a move and I notice. I go to the gym and try to focus on me alone. Even when on the treadmill I close my eyes and mediate so I avoid people. I would be creeped if someone who I don't know comes up to me and admit they are watching me workout

it's a gym... everyone watches everyone. It's what people do- they people watch.

Male to female compliment: Common. Attempt to plant a seed which may lead to sexual encounter. Actual merit to compliment not required but is helpful.

Female to male compliment: Less common but not unheard of. Reserved for uber fit guys most likely since it's difficult to tell how much money a man makes if he's dressed in workout clothing.

Female to female compliment: Stems from a woman's need to compare herself to her peers constantly (5'3" females who are 135lbs, what's your pants size?)

Male to male compliment: No happening probably. Maybe two bros comparing notes. Otherwise nope.

or they could just be complimenting them on hard work. Seriously- STOP READING SO MUCH INTO IT- it's not ALWAYS like that.

So are people who are working hard but aren't clearly in shape getting complimented? I'm guessing nope.

meh - I do. I was seriously overweight and out of shape at one point and some seriously fit dudes took me under their wings. Pay it forward

DjinnMarie

I don't understand how you attend a gym regularly, and not socialize at least a little bit. I don't believe a single one of you when you say you don't notice other people. And I don't mean sexually. I notice the chubby girl who is no longer chubby and killing it in the gym now. I notice the loud douche bag screaming through his dead lifts. And I notice the newbie with bad form. And people notice me. Why? Cause we see each other at least 3 times a week, and more often than not, pass by each other and rotate equipment.

Ogling, is never ok. A "hell yeah, you killed it today," or a "beast mode *****, get it up!" Is always welcomed.

zombiemomjo

I think it would be lovely to offer a compliment. Of course, you'll make sure she's not mid-set when you offer it up. But I have worked dang hard to get where I am, and if someone stopped me on my way to the locker room to say that I've inspired them in some way or if they admired my triceps or whatever, I'd be over the moon. I'm not there fishing for compliments EVER, but wow, how awesome would that feel?

I have a friend who is marvelous at complimenting people, and she has inspired me to be more thoughtful about this and freely give more compliments. People are quick to "like" posts or videos online, but they seem so hesitant to tell someone in real life that they admire something about them. A random little girl at my boys' bus stop totally made my day by complimenting my hair. Another lady stopped me at McDonald's to offer a compliment. Most of us are reasonable adults, and if someone is giving off a unapproachable vibe, then I may rethink it, but life is too short to not throw out those warm fuzzies every chance we can get. Who knows the impact that your pleasant remark could have on someone having maybe a not so great day? So far no one has been visibly creeped out by my efforts.

SapiensPisces

Seems I'm in the minority, but I do not like to socialize at the gym. I like to just quietly focus on what I'm doing.

somefitsomefat

I don't understand how you attend a gym regularly, and not socialize at least a little bit. I don't believe a single one of you when you say you don't notice other people. And I don't mean sexually. I notice the chubby girl who is no longer chubby and killing it in the gym now. I notice the loud douche bag screaming through his dead lifts. And I notice the newbie with bad form. And people notice me. Why? Cause we see each other at least 3 times a week, and more often than not, pass by each other and rotate equipment.

Ogling, is never ok. A "hell yeah, you killed it today," or a "beast mode *****, get it up!" Is always welcomed.

"Give it up prom date!!!"

VelveteenArabian

So you've never found any guy at the gym even remotely attractive? I find that very hard to believe.

Nope. I don't look and I'm not interested in looking. Only man I care to oogle is my husband.

I know I'm in the minority on that one. I sometimes find someone "pretty" in an abstract way, like a pretty vase or something, but that's the extent of it. I don't go nuts over celebrities either.

mccindy72

It would creep me out. I would think you're either weird or that you're hitting on me. Neither would be okay for me. I absolutely hate dealing with people's judgements - both good and bad. I hate the scrutiny.

I also hate people looking which is why I don't lift. Guys really need to focus more on themselves at the gym!

This is a woman talking about complimenting another woman. VERY unlikely she is hitting on her.

Personal experience: I have had a woman hit on me at the gym. More than once. You do know about lesbians, right?

I really like how full of yourself you are. Want to be friends?

I'll totally be your friend if you want. Hard to test out sincerity online though. I'm not full of myself - sarcasm?

LALALA28115

There is no one right answer, the answers depend on the recipient (which you are guessing at) and the situation, which you can observe and adjust to.

I do Warrior Training on my non-running days. I was, until last week, the newest person in the 6a class I take. I was also the slowest and least capable, lol. The new girl and I both wondered how long it took one of the longer attending ladies to perfect a certain exercise (she looks like she designed it!) and we together approached her after class and asked how she did it and told her how fabulous she looked and that we both hoped to have her physique one day. She has been at it a year (made us feel better!) and appreciated our compliments because she said she'd been working hard to get to where she was.

We made it as much about our desire to improve as her achievement and I know that I had not even a moment of discomfort in the dialogue. She is very nice, smiley and makes eye contact, so I did not get the impression she is not up for conversation. If she was a bit grim and only focused on the instructor, I'd likely not have said a word.

Just pay attention to the woman you admire and then approach when the time is right with your compliment.

VelveteenArabian

I don't understand how you attend a gym regularly, and not socialize at least a little bit. I don't believe a single one of you when you say you don't notice other people. And I don't mean sexually. I notice the chubby girl who is no longer chubby and killing it in the gym now. I notice the loud douche bag screaming through his dead lifts. And I notice the newbie with bad form. And people notice me. Why? Cause we see each other at least 3 times a week, and more often than not, pass by each other and rotate equipment.

Ogling, is never ok. A "hell yeah, you killed it today," or a "beast mode *****, get it up!" Is always welcomed.

I socialize before and after fitness class. Otherwise....I'd really rather not.

Of course you'll notice the moron who drops his weights. He probably does it for that purpose! But that doesn't mean you're also determining if he's got good arms or whatever.

My_Own_Worst_Enemy

These people are just rude. How do you develop and nurture a support system with such rudeness. Is this what you teach your children? No wonder we as a society are in trouble. My goodness!

Well Sufferin Succotash

Morgaath

I don't give compliments besides to my workout partner if she rocks a move and I notice. I go to the gym and try to focus on me alone. Even when on the treadmill I close my eyes and mediate so I avoid people. I would be creeped if someone who I don't know comes up to me and admit they are watching me workout

it's a gym... everyone watches everyone. It's what people do- they people watch.

Male to female compliment: Common. Attempt to plant a seed which may lead to sexual encounter. Actual merit to compliment not required but is helpful.

Female to male compliment: Less common but not unheard of. Reserved for uber fit guys most likely since it's difficult to tell how much money a man makes if he's dressed in workout clothing.

Female to female compliment: Stems from a woman's need to compare herself to her peers constantly (5'3" females who are 135lbs, what's your pants size?)

Male to male compliment: No happening probably. Maybe two bros comparing notes. Otherwise nope.

or they could just be complimenting them on hard work. Seriously- STOP READING SO MUCH INTO IT- it's not ALWAYS like that.

So are people who are working hard but aren't clearly in shape getting complimented? I'm guessing nope.

I have told the guy who comes in and kills himself every single time that I wish I had his commitment to it. He can't do push ups because his stomach is still touching the ground when his arms are fully extended.

mank32

Everyone else is mostly just taking sides.

I changed sides recently. a week ago i was on the treadmill when the gal mopping the floor (the only other person in the room, and 1 of 5 total ppl there, including me) starting chatting me up. my initial reflex was to put my earbuds back in, look down, and ignore her, maybe frown a little. (rly lady? you're working at a gym and you don't know well enough to leave someone who's in the middle of a workout alone??) besides that i don't open up to "strangers" easily. i was feeling froggy, i guess, because i decided to take a step outside of my (socially-anxious, introverted) comfort zone and try talking to her instead, jogging 5.2 mph (perfectly fine pace for casual convo).

i didn't turn into a pumpkin.
i didn't get anxious.
she didn't annoy the crap out of me.
i didn't resent her for not having the 'sense' to 'leave me alone' (for more than like 0.0000059 sec)
we actually had a nice talk, while i finished my run. she gave me a couple of compliments ("I'm getting sore/tired just watching you" is always compliment to me).

i'm not suggesting anyone make a point of interrupting or compromising their workouts for the sake of socializing. (the place was empty. she was obviously bored of mopping that whole place with no one to talk to. i was jogging; i can jog and talk at the same time. i didn't have to stop or slow down at all, just took out my 'buds and turned off my 'pod). all i'm saying here is that i came from the place of "refuse to talk, avoid eye contact, try to be invisible" and got to the threshhold of "looking at and talking to one other: it's what people do." the gym is a funny place for socializing, for lots of reasons (e.g. this entire thread)--and for many of the same reasons it's also a fine crucible for me to work on myself in non-physical ways.

it's all state of mind. i can change mine. (i rather like looking at people's faces instead of the floor all the time.)

re: OP: compliments are fine. they don't have to be conversation-starters. the fact that a person felt strongly enough about something to approach me and open his/her mouth about it is what says the most, to me. i'm no social butterfly, but i've never had a problem finding my words when i'm impressed, amazed, shocked, inspired, or moved somehow. you just really, really gotta move me to make me speak.

JoRocka

or they could just be complimenting them on hard work. Seriously- STOP READING SO MUCH INTO IT- it's not ALWAYS like that.

So are people who are working hard but aren't clearly in shape getting complimented? I'm guessing nope.
[/quote]

yup.

People who are there and aren't just "fitting in a quick work out"- they know hard work when they see it. They can tell when someone is putting in the time. Even if they don't LOOK like a model- or a fitness buff- they know hard work when they see it. I worked at gym- I was friends with several different sets of clicks- and the most respectful- easy going- compliment giving people out there- were the body building/powerlifting meat heads. They know what hard work looks like. Even if it's fat and struggles- they can tell when someone is putting in the time.

You see these people for days and hours and hours. I see them more than I see my family and friends. We sweat and break and struggle under a collective weight that's THOUSANDS of pounds- silently - loudly- quietly- in our own world- together- heckling- or late at night- when the weather is ****- when the game is on.

You KNOW these people YOU SEE THEM. You all know what hard work looks like. and it isnt' pretty or fashionable- it's red sweaty facesa nd busted blood vessels. Angry missed lifts. It is what it is- but it comes in different shapes.

yes- lots of people get complimented. But 9/10 it isn't the "quick 40 minute job on the elliptical after my job" crowd- so you probably don't see it.

MistressPi

My 2 cents:

I'm for it. It's all in how you communicate IMO.

Try to do it when someone's between sets, so as to not break his or her concentration.

If someone's in a bubble (listening to earbuds), don't interrupt them unless it's for a good reason (not just an idle compliment) (unless they're giving you the eye, smiling or otherwise sending out signals that THEY would like to talk to YOU).

If someone shows up in baggy sweats, he probably doesn't want you commenting on his physique.

But if he shows up in a muscle shirt (or she shows up wearing a midriff top and boy shorts) that person is flaunting it, and is fair game for commentary. To put it another way: you don't usually wear red underwear if you don't want anyone to see it.

It's the WAY you compliment that determines whether or not it comes across as creepy.
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KatrinaWilke

Also for the record, I absolutely hate the people that do nothing but talk at the gym. And those couple of people who think it is their job to wander around the gym and talk with every person they see at the gym on a regular basis.

But on the other hand, I would love if someone approached me and gave me a short and simple compliment about my physique and/or lifting.

^this^. Short compliments in passing are fine. Chatterboxes are not. Are you there to work out or for social hour? And if you are on a machine and chatting away the whole time, you are not working hard enough.

You don't know what everyone's intentions are for being at the gym. Sometimes it is used as a huge social outlet.

And you can mind your own business when it comes to how hard I or anyone else is working. We all pay gym dues, get over it.

Let me add, I hate the people who do nothing but talk AND ARE HOGGING the squat rack, bench, etc. Usually the chatty ones are in a group and are "using" something I need to and it takes them FOREVER to finish! Otherwise, I could give a rat's *kitten* what you do at the gym. Just get the **** out of my way!

KatrinaWilke

You don't know what everyone's intentions are for being at the gym. Sometimes it is used as a huge social outlet.

From someone named "shutupandlift" lol

:laugh: :flowerforyou:

KatrinaWilke

I don't understand how you attend a gym regularly, and not socialize at least a little bit. I don't believe a single one of you when you say you don't notice other people. And I don't mean sexually. I notice the chubby girl who is no longer chubby and killing it in the gym now. I notice the loud douche bag screaming through his dead lifts. And I notice the newbie with bad form. And people notice me. Why? Cause we see each other at least 3 times a week, and more often than not, pass by each other and rotate equipment.

Ogling, is never ok. A "hell yeah, you killed it today," or a "beast mode *****, get it up!" Is always welcomed.

Nicely put!

KatrinaWilke

I give the nod of approval.

I would literally LOL if I saw someone do that!!

JoJo__Fit

I've given a compliment to a female who is now my workout buddy. Seen her squatting 165 lbs , I told her good **** lol and since then we became workout buddies!
I've received tons of compliments I thank them and keep going on with my business Some females want me to show them how to workout or ask what my diet is like. I tell them as far as working out they have to pay me lol.

geekprincess858

I have received and given compliments at the gym a lot. It's not creepy if it is said respectfully...for example a woman at my gym looked incredible. I asked if she was professionally competing and told her she looks great. We became friends after that. Just keeping it general is ok as long as they are not wearing headphones or in deep concentration. I know I don't like disturbance get I am at the gym and trying to focus or count ????????