PARENTING FAIL, big time . . .

Mother_Superior

this was my issue with wrestling. My son was a wrestler from age 6 to 17. We said from day 1 that he would never, ever wrestle in a weight class below his current weight. We saw too many kids starving themselves trying to lose 20-30 lbs below their normal, healthy weight, and following dangerous sweating and dehydration practices to try to make weight. My son was in cross-country in the fall, wrestling all winter, and track in the spring. the distance running gave him the stamina he needed to be successful in wrestling, even when he was in weight classes where his opponents had cut weight to compete and he was giving up muscle mass. It's not worth their health to try to be successful at a sport they won't ever care about again after graduation.

I really like this approach. I'm not going to push my kids to do anything (but I'd be lying if I said that I don't hope they want to box, play soccer, and be ninjas) but if they do decide to, I want to teach them how to do it correctly. Sports are already dangerous enough without sacrificing solid nutrition and training practices.

cleback

Wow... This is a big parenting fail, but not in the way the OP intended it. That isn't a healthy relationship with food, and then she has the nerve to blame grandma. I mean really, should she have sneaked miralax into your child's koolaid to make sure he had a bowel movement before weigh in? What lengths are you really willing to go to make sure your child is right under 76 lbs? *forehead smack* Seems like an episode of "Dance Moms" only with wrestling.

mccindy72

Man, I can't believe people are taking this thread so seriously. Am I the only one who sees a tongue in cheek comment?

Also, no catch weight or grace weight in these tournaments?

by mid-season, they usually grant them 1 more pound. It's being taken seriously because it's so dangerous and encourages a lot of eating disorders in young boys.

jbwegner

Wow, I think that's insane to put that kind of weight pressure on such a young kid.

This. I had no idea these kind of weight rules even existed in sports. We're a hockey family and you can't even see the kid under all the padding/equipment they have to wear :laugh:

wrestling is the absolute worst offender. My son had kids in his weight class in high school (135 lbs) who weight 165 a month before season started. they can't be an ounce over their class weight limit or they can't wrestle, there is only one kid per weight class per team. These kids will put Jolly Ranchers in their mouths and just spit into a bottle the whole morning before weigh in to lose a pound of water weight.
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Does that jolly rancher and spitting thing work? I'm desperate to get to 50 pounds lost!

( I'm just kidding! No one attack me with you have an eating disorder messages!)

DeliriumCanBeFun

This "wrestling parent" mentality is outrageous! This kid is only 7!!! I cannot even fathom a few pounds making a difference for my kids in sports, better yet 3.2 ounces?!?! Insane! Glad my boys play football, basketball and run track, and I have never even heard of such foolishness before.

Mr_Knight

What lengths are you really willing to go to make sure your child is right under 76 lbs?

What makes you think this is parent driven?

From what I can see, the kid wants to wrestle. The rules are what they are. The individual learning the real lesson here is the kid himself - if you want to compete, don't pig out before a tournament!

mccindy72

What lengths are you really willing to go to make sure your child is right under 76 lbs?

What makes you think this is parent driven?

From what I can see, the kid wants to wrestle. The rules are what they are. The individual learning the real lesson here is the kid himself - if you want to compete, don't pig out before a tournament!

It might be sport-driven, but it is parent-supported. The decision to cut or not cut starts at home. My son never cut weight to make a weight class. that was our decision, and we stood firm. if he wanted to wrestle, and the coaches wanted him on the team, he would not cut weight.

Iwishyouwell

Man, I can't believe people are taking this thread so seriously. Am I the only one who sees a tongue in cheek comment?

People are going overboard, as usual. This is the same board where it's routine to see posters advising folks get a divorce over petty nonsense like "my husband doesn't appreciate my weight loss".

I didn't think the OP was being serious. And even if she was we don't even know the context of her relationship with grandma. People just hear "grandma", assume she's some sweet, benevolent saint, and the OP is the wicked daughter or DIL who is stringing her up. For all we know the OP could have talked to grandma about overfeeding the kids, and she continues to defy her out of spite. We just don't know.

beachlover317

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1152932-harming-children-to-make-yourself-feel-good


It's funny how this all sounded SO familiar. Go back and read the advice you got in that tread. It still applies.

Mr_Knight

People are going overboard, as usual.

It's the internet. Can't miss out on any chance to validate our own failures by jumping all over the slightest apparent transgression by others.

SunofaBeach14

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1152932-harming-children-to-make-yourself-feel-good


It's funny how this all sounded SO familiar. Go back and read the advice you got in that tread. It still applies.

Holy crap. I always have to walk away from these parents when I run into then IRL. Fortunately, it hasn't been a regular thing. Poor kid.

SummerIsis

I can sympathize. We also have a grandma that does what makes HER feel good without regard for the stress it causes our family. Inappropriate foods. Inappropriate toys. Inappropriate clothes.

Our guilty-grandma just got the "don't buy before asking" lecture this morning.

I'm sorry that you and your son are going through this but I'm sorry to say that I doubt that grandma will "get it" just because your son cried.

mccindy72

Man, I can't believe people are taking this thread so seriously. Am I the only one who sees a tongue in cheek comment?

People are going overboard, as usual. This is the same board where it's routine to see posters advising folks get a divorce over petty nonsense like "my husband doesn't appreciate my weight loss".

I didn't think the OP was being serious. And even if she was we don't even know the context of her relationship with grandma. People just hear "grandma", assume she's some sweet, benevolent saint, and the OP is the wicked daughter or DIL who is stringing her up. For all we know the OP could have talked to grandma about overfeeding the kids, and she continues to defy her out of spite. We just don't know.

the primary issue most of us are discussing, if you read our posts, is not grandma and whether she is overfeeding the kiddoes (about which I could give a sweet crap). it's the sport of children's wrestling and the fact that the pressure it puts on children to meet a certain weight goal creates a problem with eating disorders in young boys much as gymnastics does in young girls. it is a serious problem, especially in places like Iowa, Minnesota and Wisconsin where these sports are popular.

ofccat

Don't get me wrong I think wrestling is great for kids who want to do it but I hate the emphasis on weight even though I can understand the reasoning. Drives me nuts we try not to get kids self concious yet this does the opposite. Anyway I guess maybe telling grandparent he can't have extras may have helped or (not sure what he ate) but having more filling foods that will satisfy the hunger more? Overall it is a learning experience. I'm sorry they didn't bump him up to the next weight class. That's pretty crappy.

stumblinthrulife

OP, did you so much enjoy all the criticism you got in the first thread about this that you wanted seconds?

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1152932-harming-children-to-make-yourself-feel-good?hl=hurting+children

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Yeah, you tell Grandma not to overfeed your kid! Nothing boosts a child's self-esteem and self-concept like having to worry about how much he or she weighs!

In a world of food abundance, high quality eating habits are an important skill.

My 9 year old tracks calories, reads nutritional labels, and makes some basic food choices on his own.

Here's your father of the year award.

There is no place in the world for a 7 year old crying about his/her weight. The rules in this case, given the child's age, are absurd, but that aside -- if this kid wants to wrestle, he needs to be in a weight class that isn't going to be blown by ONE meal. A child, especially one as young as this, shouldn't be worrying about everything they eat so they can participate in a spot. That is a whole lot different than raising a kid that understand nutrition labels and healthy eating.

OP -- you had your kid all week long, if you really think him being involved in this type of activity is a great idea, it is YOUR job to make sure it's being managed in a health way. Having him in a weight class that some extra mashed potatoes will toss him out of, especially when he probably lacks the ability to comprehend how his body works, is on YOU.

Not granny.

That you would use your child's despair as a "HA told you, grandma" is unbelievable.

sloth3toes

Did grandma know what was at steak?

Fixed it for ya.

tigersword

I think people are missing the fact that the kid missed weight by less than a quarter of a pound. It's not like he needs to cut to make his weight. He forgot to go to the bathroom before weigh in. Weight limit was 76, and he weighed in at 76.2. This is seriously being blown way out of proportion by everyone here.

970Mikaela1

Yeah, you tell Grandma not to overfeed your kid! Nothing boosts a child's self-esteem and self-concept like having to worry about how much he or she weighs!

In a world of food abundance, high quality eating habits are an important skill.

My 9 year old tracks calories, reads nutritional labels, and makes some basic food choices on his own.

My 9 year old daughter doesn't track calories but she can sure tell you how many are in certain things. She has watched me for 2+ years do it. She makes really good choices(better than me most of the time). Knowledge is power and I could not agree more that eating habits are a very important skill.

MinMin97

Awwww! Sorry!!

summertime_girl

My 9 year old tracks calories, reads nutritional labels, and makes some basic food choices on his own.

There is NO way I'd want my 8 year old tracking calories. Making healthy choices, sure. But tracking calories? That seems like a recipe for an ED down the road.

knra_grl

aww so disappointing for you all - darn 0.2 lbs

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I think people are missing the fact that the kid missed weight by less than a quarter of a pound. It's not like he needs to cut to make his weight. He forgot to go to the bathroom before weigh in. Weight limit was 76, and he weighed in at 76.2. This is seriously being blown way out of proportion by everyone here.

No, people are reacting to OP because she has a habit of making posts that blame family members for overfeeding: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1152932-harming-children-to-make-yourself-feel-good

cmriverside

I think people are missing the fact that the kid missed weight by less than a quarter of a pound. It's not like he needs to cut to make his weight. He forgot to go to the bathroom before weigh in. Weight limit was 76, and he weighed in at 76.2. This is seriously being blown way out of proportion by everyone here.

No, people are reacting to OP because she has a habit of making posts that blame family members for overfeeding: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1152932-harming-children-to-make-yourself-feel-good

I guess I need to unignore her? I have a low tolerance for this stuff, though. Maybe not.

SunofaBeach14

I think people are missing the fact that the kid missed weight by less than a quarter of a pound. It's not like he needs to cut to make his weight. He forgot to go to the bathroom before weigh in. Weight limit was 76, and he weighed in at 76.2. This is seriously being blown way out of proportion by everyone here.

No, people are reacting to OP because she has a habit of making posts that blame family members for overfeeding: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1152932-harming-children-to-make-yourself-feel-good

There's the blame, yes, but let's not forget the damage BSC parents do to their kids.

jofjltncb6

In...for later.

mccindy72

I think people are missing the fact that the kid missed weight by less than a quarter of a pound. It's not like he needs to cut to make his weight. He forgot to go to the bathroom before weigh in. Weight limit was 76, and he weighed in at 76.2. This is seriously being blown way out of proportion by everyone here.

In this particular case. and on weigh-in day. many wrestlers cut as much as 30 lbs in the month or 2 before start of season at the direction of coaches to compete and then struggle to keep the weight off during the entire five-month season. Often they attend camps in the summer and cut weight there too.

amandakev88

Yeah, you tell Grandma not to overfeed your kid! Nothing boosts a child's self-esteem and self-concept like having to worry about how much he or she weighs!

In a world of food abundance, high quality eating habits are an important skill.

My 9 year old tracks calories, reads nutritional labels, and makes some basic food choices on his own.

Here's your father of the year award.

There is no place in the world for a 7 year old crying about his/her weight. The rules in this case, given the child's age, are absurd, but that aside -- if this kid wants to wrestle, he needs to be in a weight class that isn't going to be blown by ONE meal. A child, especially one as young as this, shouldn't be worrying about everything they eat so they can participate in a spot. That is a whole lot different than raising a kid that understand nutrition labels and healthy eating.

OP -- you had your kid all week long, if you really think him being involved in this type of activity is a great idea, it is YOUR job to make sure it's being managed in a health way. Having him in a weight class that some extra mashed potatoes will toss him out of, especially when he probably lacks the ability to comprehend how his body works, is on YOU.

Not granny.

That you would use your child's despair as a "HA told you, grandma" is unbelievable.

qft. a 9 year old counting calories? are you kidding!? teach them about the food guide, eating their veggies, etc.. but counting calories? talk about unhealthy attitudes toward food, pretty much in this thread as a whole.

tedsmama

This thread makes we want to hug my kids and then call my mom and tell her that I'm so grateful that she spoils my kids rotten.

amandakev88

This thread makes we want to hug my kids and then call my mom and tell her that I'm so grateful that she spoils my kids rotten.

this. exactly.