As a guy I wanted to know what it was like as a woman...

MB2MN

LOL I wouldn't exactly call being a guy that has difficulty getting a date being a member of a privaleged class.

Oh. Maybe you should do a little reading on the topic. It's clear you never, ever have.

:flowerforyou: For all of your posts on this topic. Yes.

jonnythan

LOL I wouldn't exactly call being a guy that has difficulty getting a date being a member of a privaleged class.

Oh. Maybe you should do a little reading on the topic. It's clear you never, ever have.

On dating or privalege? No interesting in reading about either. Boring topics. Dating shouldn't be about reading. It is a simple concept. Meet someone. Talk to them. If you like them talk to them more. People make it more complicated than it should be.

On gender in modern society.

If you're not interested in learning about these topics, maybe you shouldn't talk about them like you have a clue.

wewon

Meeting online is often way better than meeting in person. At least with a profile, you have info about the person's hobbies and interests and attitudes. Walking up to someone in a bar based on looks alone is pretty poor in comparison.

Not according to the article.

Online sounds pretty horrid.

It all sounds pretty horrid, online or in person.

I think that depends on who you talk to.

I know a lot of people that have met in person and although it isn't always roses, they seem to get with their sense of the world in tact.

I have yet to know anyone that had a positive online dating experience outside of an e-harmony commercial.

jonnythan

LOL I wouldn't exactly call being a guy that has difficulty getting a date being a member of a privaleged class.

Oh. Maybe you should do a little reading on the topic. It's clear you never, ever have.

:flowerforyou: For all of your posts on this topic. Yes.

Thank you.

somefitsomefat: There's a reason the women in this thread are responding positively to me and negatively to you. It's not because they're idiots who don't know how good they have it. It's because you are being ignorant of their issues and dismissing them out of hand.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

Let's be honest here people. What can you really go off of online? Some information on a profile that could be correct, or could be made up. A picture that could be real or fake. Conversations that very few people would even attempt to have in real life. Websites that pay employees to keep users on their sites. Bots. If someone is really looking to start a long lasting, honest relationship, online is not the place to do it. Just have fun and take it for what it is. A tool to help people feel connected with other people.

Ok, just curious, where would you suggest, this day in age for a nice person to meet other people?

Libraries, concerts, bars, workplace, supermarket, friends house party, etc. Just off the top of my head.

I'm 36, not 18, so house parties? lol. With the exception of the grocery store, I don't really go to those places and at the grocery store to get my food and get out of there.

wewon

Let's be honest here people. What can you really go off of online? Some information on a profile that could be correct, or could be made up. A picture that could be real or fake. Conversations that very few people would even attempt to have in real life. Websites that pay employees to keep users on their sites. Bots. If someone is really looking to start a long lasting, honest relationship, online is not the place to do it. Just have fun and take it for what it is. A tool to help people feel connected with other people.

Ok, just curious, where would you suggest, this day in age for a nice person to meet other people?

Libraries, concerts, bars, workplace, supermarket, friends house party, etc. Just off the top of my head.

Ditto.

This thread alone should turn anyone off of online dating.

jonnythan

Meeting online is often way better than meeting in person. At least with a profile, you have info about the person's hobbies and interests and attitudes. Walking up to someone in a bar based on looks alone is pretty poor in comparison.

Not according to the article.

Online sounds pretty horrid.

It all sounds pretty horrid, online or in person.

I think that depends on who you talk to.

I know a lot of people that have met in person and although it isn't always roses, they seem to get with their sense of the world in tact.

I have yet to know anyone that had a positive online dating experience outside of an e-harmony commercial.

Well I'm one. I met my current girlfriend of 9 years on a dating site. There are people in this very thread who have had similar experiences.

So there. Now you can't say you have yet to know any.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

You made guys (like myself) look bad who do/have done online dating

But i get the point

if you have ever been that douche who sends those disgusting pervy messages and/or have created a fake profile, then you did that to yourself. If you are not that guy, then you have no worries.

SapiensPisces

Eh, it is what you make it. It's no different than MFP. Here, when you put up an even remotely suggestive photo as your avatar, guys are going to send you pervy PMs. If you engage with them at all, even to tell them to stop, they will continue harassing you. On the typical dating sites, even if your profile pic is normal and you claim to be looking for a relationship and not NSA sex, you will get messages from guys who just want to hook up and exchange naked pics like teenagers. If you respond AT ALL, it will get worse.

And honestly, it's the same way in real life if you go out with the intention of meeting single men. Most of them aren't really looking for commitment or monogamy. Some of them pretend they are because they think it's more respectable to lie, and some don't even bother pretending. If you let them buy you drinks and you sit there listening to them describe how awesome they are and how many women they've had, they're going to think you're interested in hearing more, and it's a downward spiral from there.

Women have to stop being so freaking naive and start establishing clear boundaries from the start. Don't tell a guy you're "not comfortable" with a certain topic of conversation. Just stop talking to the *kitten*. Period. And take it from me, the men who are not serious will run as fast as they can when you make it clear they won't be getting sex from you until you're damn good and ready. But I am 100% comfortable being single, so that works well for me.

Yup to all of this.

I had good experiences and bad with online dating, but it was mostly a positive thing for me. I met my husband on there, and, previously, I developed a few really good friendships with guys that just didn't work relationship-wise who turned out to be really good people that I enjoyed getting to know and spending time with anyway.

It is what you make of it.

Set boundaries. Don't reply to people you're not interested in or who act like creeps, and generally, things go pretty well.

sir_randall

Wow, that is messed up. It makes it difficult for the nice guys to stick out in a sea of creepers.

You wanna meet a nice person, you gotta go to church.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

Let's be honest here people. What can you really go off of online? Some information on a profile that could be correct, or could be made up. A picture that could be real or fake. Conversations that very few people would even attempt to have in real life. Websites that pay employees to keep users on their sites. Bots. If someone is really looking to start a long lasting, honest relationship, online is not the place to do it. Just have fun and take it for what it is. A tool to help people feel connected with other people.

Ok, just curious, where would you suggest, this day in age for a nice person to meet other people?

Libraries, concerts, bars, workplace, supermarket, friends house party, etc. Just off the top of my head.

Ditto.

This thread alone should turn anyone off of online dating.

because someone got bored and created a fake account to troll guys? No. There are actually some decent people online who don't go barhopping, who would like to find people with similar interests. As someone else said, as long as you are clear as to what you want/don't want, you should be fine online dating.

wewon

Meeting online is often way better than meeting in person. At least with a profile, you have info about the person's hobbies and interests and attitudes. Walking up to someone in a bar based on looks alone is pretty poor in comparison.

Not according to the article.

Online sounds pretty horrid.

It all sounds pretty horrid, online or in person.

I think that depends on who you talk to.

I know a lot of people that have met in person and although it isn't always roses, they seem to get with their sense of the world in tact.

I have yet to know anyone that had a positive online dating experience outside of an e-harmony commercial.

Well I'm one. I met my current girlfriend of 9 years on a dating site. There are people in this very thread who have had similar experiences.

So there. Now you can't say you have yet to know any.

So it sounds like the trouble is worth the reward then?

randomtai

Let's be honest here people. What can you really go off of online? Some information on a profile that could be correct, or could be made up. A picture that could be real or fake. Conversations that very few people would even attempt to have in real life. Websites that pay employees to keep users on their sites. Bots. If someone is really looking to start a long lasting, honest relationship, online is not the place to do it. Just have fun and take it for what it is. A tool to help people feel connected with other people.

Ok, just curious, where would you suggest, this day in age for a nice person to meet other people?

Libraries, concerts, bars, workplace, supermarket, friends house party, etc. Just off the top of my head.

The 90's called and asked for their meeting places back.

jonnythan

Meeting online is often way better than meeting in person. At least with a profile, you have info about the person's hobbies and interests and attitudes. Walking up to someone in a bar based on looks alone is pretty poor in comparison.

Not according to the article.

Online sounds pretty horrid.

It all sounds pretty horrid, online or in person.

I think that depends on who you talk to.

I know a lot of people that have met in person and although it isn't always roses, they seem to get with their sense of the world in tact.

I have yet to know anyone that had a positive online dating experience outside of an e-harmony commercial.

Well I'm one. I met my current girlfriend of 9 years on a dating site. There are people in this very thread who have had similar experiences.

So there. Now you can't say you have yet to know any.

So it sounds like the trouble is worth the reward then?

In my experience, it's significantly less trouble than real life. I would have had to blindly approach dozens or hundreds of women before I found one compatible with me. That's pretty stupid. Trying to meet people in bars or at concerts is kinda ridiculous IMO.

And it's even worse IRL if you're a woman.

There are significant benefits to meeting people online. No worries about seeing the *kitten* who never called you back at the bar again next Friday. Ignoring emails is a lot easier than ignoring the guy in your face spilling his Bud Light on you. Etc.

WendyTerry420

I've heard this from several of my co-workers who have tried online dating. It's just really sad.

Same here. Stories like this remind me of how blessed I am.

I tried it a few times, but I never ended up on a second date with anyone I met (which were few, since few were worth the time). Every guy I've been seriously involved with I've met the old-fashioned way.

I don't know what I'll do if I'm ever single again, but probably just stay that way. Just the thought of dating is exhausting.

Same here!

+1


I vaguely remember dating. lol

somefitsomefat

LOL I wouldn't exactly call being a guy that has difficulty getting a date being a member of a privaleged class.

Oh. Maybe you should do a little reading on the topic. It's clear you never, ever have.

:flowerforyou: For all of your posts on this topic. Yes.

Thank you.

somefitsomefat: There's a reason the women in this thread are responding positively to me and negatively to you. It's not because they're idiots who don't know how good they have it. It's because you are being ignorant of their issues and dismissing them out of hand.

Meh, you're pandering to them to please them. Catch more flies with honey. I get it. It's not my thing. I'm more of a realist. All I'm saying is women should try thinking about what it's like to date as a guy. Also, maybe the women who are responding positively to you can't think beyond their issues to see the issues others might have? I dunno.

wewon

Also if you're not single this subject just isn't for you. You got out of the pool, your opinion on the temperature of the water is pretty meaningless to those of us still swimming.

I don't see why not, the topic is interesting so I think that I'll stick around.

Thanks

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

Let's be honest here people. What can you really go off of online? Some information on a profile that could be correct, or could be made up. A picture that could be real or fake. Conversations that very few people would even attempt to have in real life. Websites that pay employees to keep users on their sites. Bots. If someone is really looking to start a long lasting, honest relationship, online is not the place to do it. Just have fun and take it for what it is. A tool to help people feel connected with other people.

Ok, just curious, where would you suggest, this day in age for a nice person to meet other people?

Libraries, concerts, bars, workplace, supermarket, friends house party, etc. Just off the top of my head.

I'm 36, not 18, so house parties? lol. With the exception of the grocery store, I don't really go to those places and at the grocery store to get my food and get out of there.

I'm 36 as well, and I have friends that like to entertain guest at their house. I didn't mean college parties with WOP. And no, people don't normally to go to a grocery store to meet some. That's not saying you can't. I met my wife through a friend in college.(not in a bar) I don't have a problem with online dating if someone wants to do it. I just think they should have realistic expectations.

I think they need to set their boundaries and be forthcoming with what they are. For instance, when I was online dating, what I would and would not tolerate, i.e. I would not tolerate pervy messages, etc. and that was clearly written out in my profile. I didn't want to waste my time or theirs.