Boyfriend dilemma

Sag2015

no you aren't.
Don't make someone a priority, when to them you are only an option.

I love that. I think it's time I live by it.

UsedToBeHusky

Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).

And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.

How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.

He's old school and will have sex with her but not sleep beside her? Cell phone technology? He can't call her once a week from a land line? LOL

Who has a landline anymore? I haven't had a landline in 10 years, and the one that is sitting here on my desk rarely gets used and never for personal phone calls.

Mr_Knight

But this is what's so confusing!

He's inviting her out during the week to spend time with him AND his son. That doesn't sound married to me...

He asked her to live together, she said no.
He invited her to the movies, she said no.
She wants to talk during the week, he says no.
She wants him to stay over, he says no.

WTF?!

She's just not that into him. And he senses it, and is also probably not that into her.

Which is all cool....

UsedToBeHusky

It seems very suspicious to me. If you have been with him for four years, you should talk through the week. Seems he is hiding something. Like a prior person said, he could be married or has another lady he is seeing. I would say don't waste your time if he isn't willing to compromise because he should want to see you happy.

But this is what's so confusing!

He's inviting her out during the week to spend time with him AND his son. That doesn't sound married to me...

He asked her to live together, she said no.
He invited her to the movies, she said no.
She wants to talk during the week, he says no.
She wants him to stay over, he says no.

WTF?!

When you put it that way, it is a WTF moment! He doesn't see his son very often and i feel like I am intruding. I go to the movies with him on the weekend. I have gone to the movies with him and his two sons at Christmas time.

Exactly this. If he wants you to spend time with him and his son, it's because he wants you to have a bigger part in his life. You just want it to be on your terms. But relationships don't work that way.

Sag2015

Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).

And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.

How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.

I'm 49, he will be 59 (this week). He is very techno savvy, more than some youngsters I know. But I'm not even asking for a phone call. I know he's busy, I'm busy too. Just a text or an email. If I don't send one, I don't get one.

As for his and my bed, we are both comfortable in our own house, that is why I don't give him a hard time about not spending the night.

Achrya

Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).

And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.

How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.

He's old school and will have sex with her but not sleep beside her? Cell phone technology? He can't call her once a week from a land line? LOL

Who has a landline anymore? I haven't had a landline in 10 years, and the one that is sitting here on my desk rarely gets used and never for personal phone calls.

So he's old school and that's why he doesn't text but he doesn't have a landline so he can't call either. ...why can't he call from his cell phone? Because old school?

PRMinx

It seems very suspicious to me. If you have been with him for four years, you should talk through the week. Seems he is hiding something. Like a prior person said, he could be married or has another lady he is seeing. I would say don't waste your time if he isn't willing to compromise because he should want to see you happy.

But this is what's so confusing!

He's inviting her out during the week to spend time with him AND his son. That doesn't sound married to me...

He asked her to live together, she said no.
He invited her to the movies, she said no.
She wants to talk during the week, he says no.
She wants him to stay over, he says no.

WTF?!

When you put it that way, it is a WTF moment! He doesn't see his son very often and i feel like I am intruding. I go to the movies with him on the weekend. I have gone to the movies with him and his two sons at Christmas time.

That is your hangup. After 4 years, you either integrate with his family as a couple or it's never going to work. If he invited you, it's not an intrusion. You are pushing him away as much as he is pushing you away. Maybe he's protecting himself.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Are you overreacting... in my opinion, no.

I treat my booty calls better than your boyfriend treats you though.

Sag2015

It seems very suspicious to me. If you have been with him for four years, you should talk through the week. Seems he is hiding something. Like a prior person said, he could be married or has another lady he is seeing. I would say don't waste your time if he isn't willing to compromise because he should want to see you happy.

But this is what's so confusing!

He's inviting her out during the week to spend time with him AND his son. That doesn't sound married to me...

He asked her to live together, she said no.
He invited her to the movies, she said no.
She wants to talk during the week, he says no.
She wants him to stay over, he says no.

WTF?!

When you put it that way, it is a WTF moment! He doesn't see his son very often and i feel like I am intruding. I go to the movies with him on the weekend. I have gone to the movies with him and his two sons at Christmas time.

Exactly this. If he wants you to spend time with him and his son, it's because he wants you to have a bigger part in his life. You just want it to be on your terms. But relationships don't work that way.

I've never looked at it that way. I just felt like I would be in the way. Thank you.

Sag2015

It seems very suspicious to me. If you have been with him for four years, you should talk through the week. Seems he is hiding something. Like a prior person said, he could be married or has another lady he is seeing. I would say don't waste your time if he isn't willing to compromise because he should want to see you happy.

But this is what's so confusing!

He's inviting her out during the week to spend time with him AND his son. That doesn't sound married to me...

He asked her to live together, she said no.
He invited her to the movies, she said no.
She wants to talk during the week, he says no.
She wants him to stay over, he says no.

WTF?!

When you put it that way, it is a WTF moment! He doesn't see his son very often and i feel like I am intruding. I go to the movies with him on the weekend. I have gone to the movies with him and his two sons at Christmas time.

That is your hangup. After 4 years, you either integrate with his family as a couple or it's never going to work. If he invited you, it's not an intrusion. You are pushing him away as much as he is pushing you away. Maybe he's protecting himself.

I do integrate, had dinner with his brother, sister in law and son just this past Saturday. Had a great time.

But I think you're right, maybe we are pushing one another away.

UsedToBeHusky

Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).

And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.

How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.

I'm 49, he will be 59 (this week). He is very techno savvy, more than some youngsters I know. But I'm not even asking for a phone call. I know he's busy, I'm busy too. Just a text or an email. If I don't send one, I don't get one.

As for his and my bed, we are both comfortable in our own house, that is why I don't give him a hard time about not spending the night.

Well honestly, after your last couple of posts, I think you are sending mixed signals and you are getting them right back. Get on the same page with him or move on.

3dogsrunning

But was the meat for his cat?

My thought exactly.

Sag2015

Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).

And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.

How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.

He's old school and will have sex with her but not sleep beside her? Cell phone technology? He can't call her once a week from a land line? LOL

Who has a landline anymore? I haven't had a landline in 10 years, and the one that is sitting here on my desk rarely gets used and never for personal phone calls.

So he's old school and that's why he doesn't text but he doesn't have a landline so he can't call either. ...why can't he call from his cell phone? Because old school?

He has a cell, no land line and not old school.

ironanimal

:indifferent:

Hell I'm a guy and my first thought was "Have you met his wife?"

Sinisterly

:indifferent:

Hell I'm a guy and my first thought was "Have you met his wife?"

:laugh:

PikaKnight

:indifferent:

Hell I'm a guy and my first thought was "Have you met his wife?"

:laugh:

:laugh: :drinker:

Sag2015

:indifferent:

Hell I'm a guy and my first thought was "Have you met his wife?"

haha, I met his ex wife, very nice person.

Achrya

:indifferent:

Hell I'm a guy and my first thought was "Have you met his wife?"

I didn't even get to finish reading the OP to him and he held up a hand, shook his head, and said "So what about the dude's wife? Do you think she's making a similar post about her husband is gone for hours at a time every weekend and won't call or text during that time?"

pursuittofit

This isn't a boyfriend. It's a booty call.

Sad but true.

teenyjem

If you're asking this question, maybe you already know what the answer would be...

Put yourself in our shoes, and if you read this post and saw how a lady was being treated by her partner like this, wouldnt you advise to get out of it?

Do yourself a favour and value yourself higher. Walk away.