Boyfriend dilemma

AmyP619

people still IM?

huh.

FancyPantsFran

I wonder if I can talk my hubby into an arrangement like this only reverse.....Ill see you only during the week....Yeah Baby

Cadaverous_Bones

This doesn't sound like a very good relationship there is definitely something wrong if you only see each other on weekends and do not communicate at all during the week after 4 years.... wtf???

PikaKnight

Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).

And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.

How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.

I'm 49, he will be 59 (this week). He is very techno savvy, more than some youngsters I know. But I'm not even asking for a phone call. I know he's busy, I'm busy too. Just a text or an email. If I don't send one, I don't get one.

As for his and my bed, we are both comfortable in our own house, that is why I don't give him a hard time about not spending the night.

You're 49 years old? Is this more your 1st or 2nd long-term relationship you've been?

Sag2015

people still IM?

huh.

:laugh:

My kids laugh about that too. Yahoo IM!

JuliaLee67

He's married.

100% honest, that was my first thought.

same here. =/

scottYBRIDGEWATER

Yes. You are way too needy and clingy. Why not stop nagging and be happy this dude is around for the weekend. What more do you want?

pursuittofit

so you all have been together since you were 8?

:laugh:

Sag2015

Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).

And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.

How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.

I'm 49, he will be 59 (this week). He is very techno savvy, more than some youngsters I know. But I'm not even asking for a phone call. I know he's busy, I'm busy too. Just a text or an email. If I don't send one, I don't get one.

As for his and my bed, we are both comfortable in our own house, that is why I don't give him a hard time about not spending the night.

You're 49 years old? Is this more your 1st or 2nd long-term relationship you've been?

Married for 6 years, in a 3 year relationship immediately following my divorce then a year later in a 10 year relationship. I have lived alone since 1995, after my marriage I vowed never to live with a man again and I haven't. I would consider it now but I don't believe the right one has come along since then. Either that or I really like living alone.

HealthyMakeover

If you aren't happy with it, it may be time to move on. Its hard to change people to shape them the way that you want them, especially since he is more than middle aged.

Being in a relationship should be something that you enjoy. It shouldn't be something that stresses you out, or makes you worry.
I think you need a SERIOUS talk with him about it, and if things don't change, then maybe they never will.
Are you willing to live the rest of your life this way?

Sag2015

Yes. You are way too needy and clingy. Why not stop nagging and be happy this dude is around for the weekend. What more do you want?

This is interesting coming from a 50 year old and I mean that in a good way. Are you in a relationship?

leaner426

Relationships are about emotional and mental connections, not just physical time together or messages. It sounds to me like you just want the illusion of a relationship (weekly texts, limited hours together) without the substance of one. If he's invited you into his family life, it sounds like he wants a more substantive connection than you're willing to give. Having been in a relationship with someone who just wanted the illusion and not the substance, after a while I know I stopped creating the illusion my ex wanted because he wouldn't give me the substance I wanted. Seriously take a look at why you seem to be keeping a wall up (self esteem, social disorder?). If you aren't happy with the current state, address it with him or end it. But don't expect him to agree to your limited restrictions, it has to be right for both of you. I could be wrong but it sounds like you don't respect or value either of you and you both deserve better.

Kaylee_law_123

My mind went straight to married ... and booty call followed shortly after.

If you are happy and content with the arrangement then it doesn't need to change, but if you are unsettled about it, which I'm guessing you may be to post this, then you need to work out what would work for you, if he fits in that picture then great. If not, then their are plenty more out there :-)

Sag2015

If you aren't happy with it, it may be time to move on. Its hard to change people to shape them the way that you want them, especially since he is more than middle aged.

Being in a relationship should be something that you enjoy. It shouldn't be something that stresses you out, or makes you worry.
I think you need a SERIOUS talk with him about it, and if things don't change, then maybe they never will.
Are you willing to live the rest of your life this way?

I do not want to live the rest of my life this way.

Thank you.

PikaKnight

Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).

And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.

How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.

I'm 49, he will be 59 (this week). He is very techno savvy, more than some youngsters I know. But I'm not even asking for a phone call. I know he's busy, I'm busy too. Just a text or an email. If I don't send one, I don't get one.

As for his and my bed, we are both comfortable in our own house, that is why I don't give him a hard time about not spending the night.

You're 49 years old? Is this more your 1st or 2nd long-term relationship you've been?

Married for 6 years, in a 3 year relationship immediately following my divorce then a year later in a 10 year relationship. I have lived alone since 1995, after my marriage I vowed never to live with a man again and I haven't. I would consider it now but I don't believe the right one has come along since then. Either that or I really like living alone.

I think maybe you should try being single for a couple years, at least.

aZenlikeNene

Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).

And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.

How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.

I'm 49, he will be 59 (this week). He is very techno savvy, more than some youngsters I know. But I'm not even asking for a phone call. I know he's busy, I'm busy too. Just a text or an email. If I don't send one, I don't get one.

As for his and my bed, we are both comfortable in our own house, that is why I don't give him a hard time about not spending the night.

You're 49 years old? Is this more your 1st or 2nd long-term relationship you've been?

Married for 6 years, in a 3 year relationship immediately following my divorce then a year later in a 10 year relationship. I have lived alone since 1995, after my marriage I vowed never to live with a man again and I haven't. I would consider it now but I don't believe the right one has come along since then. Either that or I really like living alone.

Okay so do you think this guy isn't the right one? You do seem content on being alone during the week and as you said, you are also busy during the week. I think (as someone did say earlier) you may be sending him mixed signals and need to get on the same page as him. He involves you in a lot of family events and even introduced you to his ex wife (which I think is huge). I understand you are comfortable in your ways and maybe he is too and doesn't think there needs to be a change.

3dogsrunning

If you aren't happy with it, it may be time to move on. Its hard to change people to shape them the way that you want them, especially since he is more than middle aged.

Being in a relationship should be something that you enjoy. It shouldn't be something that stresses you out, or makes you worry.
I think you need a SERIOUS talk with him about it, and if things don't change, then maybe they never will.
Are you willing to live the rest of your life this way?

I do not want to live the rest of my life this way.

Thank you.

What do you want? I am honestly confused. Where do you want this relationship to go?

Derpes

Surprise your girlfriend on Valentines Day by introducing her to your wife!

Sag2015

Relationships are about emotional and mental connections, not just physical time together or messages. It sounds to me like you just want the illusion of a relationship (weekly texts, limited hours together) without the substance of one. If he's invited you into his family life, it sounds like he wants a more substantive connection than you're willing to give. Having been in a relationship with someone who just wanted the illusion and not the substance, after a while I know I stopped creating the illusion my ex wanted because he wouldn't give me the substance I wanted. Seriously take a look at why you seem to be keeping a wall up (self esteem, social disorder?). If you aren't happy with the current state, address it with him or end it. But don't expect him to agree to your limited restrictions, it has to be right for both of you. I could be wrong but it sounds like you don't respect or value either of you and you both deserve better.

I love socializing and I don't have any issues with self-esteem. The only time I don't like to join him is when it's just him and his son but someone on here made me look at it a different way.

Other than that, you really got me thinking about this illusion. I wonder if deep down it's what we both want.

19TaraLynn84

Since the only problems you seem to have are that he doesn't call you during the week and doesn't spend the night at your place, may I ask if you have actually told him this? It would be really, really niceif men could read our minds, but they just can't.