Sexual Harassment at the Gym..

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  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    Almost forgot. Yesterday I learned that if a minimum wage employee at the gym isn't 100% enthusiastic about erasing a white board and writing on it again, it is NOT a temper tantrum to quit that gym and find another place to spend your money.
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
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    Yo, davpul, I think you might have chauvinism down. Though I'm not really sure you'll get it. Sorry, bro.

    I'm sensing crush bordering on harassment here.

    Okay, not really.

    Honestly, if she has any recourse it is to cancel her membership and not be charged for the last month.

    Say "hey boys. If you're all going to stand around in a circle jerk, can't you take it to the locker room? You're making yourselves look stupid."

    Then finish up your routine.
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
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    legal definition of sexual harassment:
    Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors or other verbal, written; graphic; visual communication; or physical acts of a sexual or gender-based nature when:
    1. Submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of an individual’semployment;
    2. Submission to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the basis for employment decisions affecting such individual

    The OP may have been offended, but they were not sexually harrased.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,622 Member
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    I deal with this on occasion with some of the younger guys at my gym. In most of the cases, a "could you please refrain from______?" usually works. Just letting them know they can be heard quiets them down.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    Yah no...

    sexual harrassment is in the workplace not a place of "leisure"...

    Now if an employee of the gym had an issue with the conversation and management did not intercede then managment is at fault.

    But let us be frank...I have probably had worse conversations with my girlfriends sitting on the deck at the pub...

    whatever....if it offends you leave/put headphones on etc.
  • Holly_Wood_888
    Holly_Wood_888 Posts: 265 Member
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    Not many people like confrontation but you need to decide how important this gym is to yo
    I would ask for a meeting with the owner/finace etc. and make sure their is a good ratio of males and females... -
    Its quite easy to say 'I overheard the following conversation on the following date' it made me incredibly uncomfortable and it was unprofessional, continue as ninerbuff stated below ..........
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I kind of feel like if you weren't bothered enough at the time to say anything, then you shouldn't bother saying or doing anything now. Stop being passive-aggressive. The owner has the right to have whatever conversations he wants in his gym. You have the right to complain. If you aren't satisfied with how he resolves the situation, you are free to go to a different gym. You don't work for him so it's not a "hostile work environment" and he didn't direct his comments at you so it's not sexual harassment.

    It just feels like you are creating a problem where there really isn't one.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    Yo, davpul, I think you might have chauvinism down. Though I'm not really sure you'll get it. Sorry, bro.

    Thanks for lookin out, bro
  • WVprankster
    WVprankster Posts: 430 Member
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    It doesn't seem as if you were intended to be a participant in this conversation, so idt it's harassment. It sounds like a guy is telling his buddies a story that may or may not be true, While it may be pigheaded, it's not harassment.


    Am I the only one who thought of the Andrew Dice Clay bit "So I'm ****in' dis' *****..."
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Did this happen one time? I understand you may be shy, but this is an easy fix by being prepared if it ever happens again and the good news is that it may not happen again. And I agree with others that it's not harassment that was directed at you. Seems they were oblivious to you and you were overhearing them. Now, if you were to ask them to stop and they then directed it at you in order to mock you and target you as a form of sexually based intimidation and then continued to do that every time they saw you, it may cross that line.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    well god forbid anybody not like all Americans. because it's not like we Americans ever make blanket statements putting down people from other places. damned foreigners with their stooopid metric system BACKWARDS DRIVING and all.



    I-like-where-this-thread-is-going-20886067270.jpeg

    FIFY
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    I like to gag to get my point across. Like - saunter past the gentlemen and throw up on their shoes.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    "For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general."
    It could be argued...
    but it wasn't directed at her and she just happened to overhear something she disapproved of, so it's hard to name as harassment.
    '

    No, it's not. If someone finds something offensive even if it's NOT directed at them they can certainly complain. They can state that they felt uncomfortable and threatened by the conversation which would lead to a 'talking to' or an investigation. Either way HR would be involved.

    finding something offensive /=/ sexual harassment.

    "harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks

    According to the OP they were making obscene remarks that made her feel uncomfortable so yeah. It is considered sexual harassment.

    But then again I only wrote Employment Practices Liability insurance policies for 13 years so what do I know?

    They weren't talking to her.

    That makes zero difference. If someone is offended by something regardless of whether or not it is directed at them they can complain and say it's causing a hostile work environment.

    but she doesnt work there.

    so, if I told a female (or male) customer at the store I worked at that I wanted to have sex with them that wouldn't be considered sexual harassment?

    Yeah probably would be, but that's not what happend.

    why does it matter if the person works there or not is what I'm getting at?

    She doesnt work there, there for it does not cause her to be in a hostile work environment.

    I'm going to have to insist that people who use hoighty-toighty words like "therefore" spell it correctly.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    well god forbid anybody not like all Americans. because it's not like we Americans ever make blanket statements putting down people from other places. damned foreigners with their stooopid metric system and all.
    I don't do that and if I hear someone else do it, I call that person on it.

    What is that saying about two wrongs not making a right?

    3 lefts do.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Not many people like confrontation but you need to decide how important this gym is to yo
    I would ask for a meeting with the owner/finace etc. and make sure their is a good ratio of males and females... -
    Its quite easy to say 'I overheard the following conversation on the following date' it made me incredibly uncomfortable and it was unprofessional, continue as ninerbuff stated below ..........

    unnecessary.

    i can think of at least 5 males right off the bat that I would feel confident inviting into such a meeting and I would feel sufficiently supported. Some of them are in this thread. One of them is in my home. Taking charge over your environment is crucial. It makes your whole world.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    well god forbid anybody not like all Americans. because it's not like we Americans ever make blanket statements putting down people from other places. damned foreigners with their stooopid metric system and all.
    I don't do that and if I hear someone else do it, I call that person on it.

    What is that saying about two wrongs not making a right?

    3 lefts do.

    :heart:
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    Yo, davpul, I think you might have chauvinism down. Though I'm not really sure you'll get it. Sorry, bro.

    I'm sensing crush bordering on harassment here.

    Okay, not really.

    Honestly, if she has any recourse it is to cancel her membership and not be charged for the last month.

    Say "hey boys. If you're all going to stand around in a circle jerk, can't you take it to the locker room? You're making yourselves look stupid."

    Then finish up your routine.

    Le Coq bloq
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Options
    Yo, davpul, I think you might have chauvinism down. Though I'm not really sure you'll get it. Sorry, bro.

    I'm sensing crush bordering on harassment here.

    Okay, not really.

    Honestly, if she has any recourse it is to cancel her membership and not be charged for the last month.

    Say "hey boys. If you're all going to stand around in a circle jerk, can't you take it to the locker room? You're making yourselves look stupid."

    Then finish up your routine.

    Le Coq bloq
    *le snort*

    (the t is silent.)
  • mckat08
    mckat08 Posts: 79 Member
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    I am seriously conflicted. And I need your advice. I REALLY like the gym I am going to , it is right next to my office, it's small, affordable, and most people are bodybuilders so it's inspiring and motivational! HOWEVER, today I went in to work out and there were a couple older male professionals talking with the owner. I overheard some vulgar language but chose to shrug it off, thinking their conversation was a quick one, "let boys be boys" and maybe the talk would be done when I was off the treadmill and I would no longer be using my headphones. But, when I moved onto weights, the conversation was continuing with increasing sexually expliit language that was offensive and incredibly demeaning... I was especially offended since the owner was a part of the topic, of which I still don't know but apparently needed to include lots of talk of male excrements and "porking every broad in site." I only have a month left of my membership.... and I don't want confrontation. How do I get through my last month? ALSO his fiancé is my trainer. I'm seriously considering canceling my appointment Wednesday.. but I also want to get as much from her as I can before I leave the gym. Help?

    I recently encountered the same situation and I asked the "gentlemen" point blank if they kiss their mothers with that mouth. They laughed it off, but there has been a serious improvement in the content of their conversations. Good luck!!

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