Those Annoying Little Comments
Replies
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I'm not trying to highjack this thread, but.... could you also add what you would LIKE to hear?
saying nothing is bad because you would like your weight loss to be at least noticed
saying 'you look great!' implies, I guess... that you didn't before?
knowing my luck, if I say "wow, your hard work is really showing", the person will be fighting some disease :noway:
I haven't lost enough for anyone but my hubby to notice (and I'm not quite sure he isn't just being nice ), but, seriously, what would you like your friends to say when their entire intent is to compliment you?:huh:
:flowerforyou:0 -
"Have you thought about asking your doctor about getting your stomach stapled like me?'
-my mom
Just stop! I don't want the surgery. It completely messed up her stomach causing chronic pain and an ulcer that had started internally bleeding and that she has been dealing with for over the four years since she got the stupid surgery.
She didn't want to do the work associated with losing weight, so everytime she asks me if I want to grab something to eat and I tell her I'm watching what I eat, she tells me that maybe I should look into it.0 -
You don't need to lose that *kitten*!" and cue (sp?) in the sexual comments that follow right behind (no pun) it. I've always, always, always had this "curse" and what people don't understand is, it's not beneficial, especially when you're looking for jeans that fit and that are flattering, or you're visiting a tailor for your work uniforms because of a certain problem area isn't cooperating. Not only am I "cursed" with an *kitten*, I come with doublewide hips. It's a constant struggle when you're being taped for weigh ins in the service and you're marked as overweight because of an inch here and there. I do a lot of cardio, eat right and look for ways to lose this *kitten*. According to the Navy PRT standards, the PRT coordinator is directed to tape around the largest portion of your *kitten* and that's how your hips are measured. Yeah, you read that right. I challenged the coordinator many times until one of them finally showed me the instruction. So, yeah, I have an *kitten* that'll feed people for centuries or make another celebutante famous. Hey, I'll take this as motivation to keep on doing cardio, because I need all that I can get. Cardio that is. :laugh:0
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"Muscle weighs more than fat."
YES, AND DOES NOT APPEAR OVER NIGHT 10 LB AT A TIME.
neither does fat. An overnight 10lb gain is water."Calories in Vs Calories out"
EXCEPT THAT I'VE EATEN BELOW TDEE FOR WEEKS WITH NO SCALE MOVEMENT
maybe the calculator wasn't appropriate for you (i.e. it overestimated your BMR), or you did the maths wrong (e.g. wrong activity factor, being inaccurate logging/weighing food)
because if you didn't lose weight for weeks you were eating at maintenance, not below TDEE. The number of calories you ate while your weight was stable for weeks is your TDEE. If it's less than the calculator predicted, then that's because the calculator is based on averages and not everyone is average. If you were not accurate about weighing/logging food then you could have been eating 25% more calories than you thought. If you were totally accurate about logging/weighing and you're maintaining your weight at a much lower number than the calculators predict, it could be an indication of a medical issue (e.g. hypothyroid) so you should get that checked out.0 -
When people offer me meat, or processed food, and look shocked when i don't want it, when they KNEW i don't eat that anymore. "Oh, are you STILL on a DIET!?!?!?" - I'm not on a diet, that's the way i eat!
Or when some bro guy says something like, "Oh, you don't have huge muscles, even though you don't lift? Your diet must be lacking nutrients..." As if eating alone will build huge muscles.
your diet IS lacking in nutrients though. You just think it's not because you delude yourself that humans are herbivores. Even if you did lift you would not get enough protein from your diet to grow any muscles.
Note: this is based on this user's past history on this forum and him repeatedly giving incorrect, potentially dangerous advice, and promoting his unhealthy diet which is seriously lacking in protein. Not because he's vegan (a vegan diet can be healthy) but because he thinks humans only need tiny amounts of protein. very high carb, very low fat, low protein diet = unhealthy and lacking in nutrients.0 -
Things like this are why I don't generally talk about my weight loss...I just do it and let people notice the results!
ETA: Man, people say some sh***y things!0 -
I hate that! It's such a common misconception that animal products are loaded with nutrients, while plants are somehow devoid of micros. It's the other way around!!!! Veg*ns get more nutrition than most!After I became a strict vegetarian my mom keeps telling me how many vitamins I am deficient. Tired? Bored? Sick? Hungry? Want to change your life? I read on line that such and such vitamin deficiency will cause that.
strawman argument.... animal products are full of nutrients: protein, fat, fat soluble vitamins, iron. I've never come across anyone claiming that plant foods are devoid of micronutrients, ever. Everyone knows they're full of vitamins, minerals and fibre.
Both plant foods and animal foods are full of nutrients. People who eat omnivorous diets are aware of this, and don't try to deny the nutritional values of any foods. Most vegans don't deny the nutritional value of animal products, they use that information to enable themselves to get those nutrients from plants instead.
It annoys me when people spend their life on these forums systematically demonising foods, like you do with animal products.0 -
I just tell them to go f*** themselves. They keep their mouths shut after that.0
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I hate being treated like a food guru just because I'm fat. In a grocery store, I'll pick up an item I've never seen before to check out the label. (Or sometimes they look into my shopping cart.) Some, non-fat person, will pounce, asking in a borderline rude way, how I like the item. Sometimes going as far as to ask how I like it compared to something else I may or may not know about. Implying that I must eat tons of it so I should have a strong opinion. The worst is when the cashier is the one making comments. No way to avoid them.
If this just happened once or twice in my life, I wouldn't notice or care. But it happens about 2 out of 5 times when I go shopping. Seems to happen more as I get older.
What happened to "mind your own business" and "don't bother people" in public places?
Another thing I hate is when people try to pressure you into eating against your will. I'm an adult. I know when I'm not hungry or thirsty. I see what's available. I don't need other people to tell me to get a slice of pizza, a soft drink or whatever it is they want me to eat in front of them so they can feel superior to the fat lady.
By now, I have a string of smart-*kitten* responses to these situations. It's not always nice but it does get people to shut-up and move on.0 -
Mom:"I don't like that dress on you, it shows the fat on your hips"
*five minutes later*
"you should eat more, you are too skinny"
Mom, you confuses me. Please don't.0 -
In a cute, innocent little voice, "Oh, does that cookie (or whatever) fit into your diet?" - Yes actually, because I am not on a diet, I eat what I want, just a little less so I can lose some weight, but thanks for asking.
People talking about recipes/food/meat, "You don't want to hear about this, you don't eat meat/you're on a diet" - Unless you're talking about butchering a carcass, I'm probably okay with it... why not let me decide?
"I made this really great chicken dish last night... oh never mind, you don't eat meat/you're on a diet" - Does this mean we have nothing to talk about? I frequently convert recipes to make them lower cal/vegetarian/vegan. I like to cook and talk about food - it's not like I don't eat anymore!
"Wow, you don't eat meat? You're a really picky eater!" - Um, Whut?? I will eat every vegetable on earth (except okra & eggplant) DO NOT call me a "picky eater" because I choose not to eat dead animals.
I'm not comfortable talking about how much I weigh now, how much I've lost, how much more I intend to lose, or how much I weighed when I started my "diet". So please stop asking 3 different ways to try and figure it out or get me to "slip"and tell you. Maybe when I reach my goal weight I will give you all the gorey details, but until then, I appreciate you noticing my weight loss, let's leave it at that.
And my mom, God love her, every 5 minutes I hear one of these comments: "You look soooo good, I'm so proud of you!" "I can't believe you are finally doing it.", "Please don't quit, you're looking so good", "I don't know why you didn't do it sooner, all those years you could have been skinny"... Just STFU, Mom. Please.
Thanks for letting me vent OP!!0 -
I'm gonna go ahead and take advantage of venting here. I have a friend I dearly love, she's been a great pal for over twenty years and she is a great person. HOWEVER, when it comes to eating habits I just want to scream because she is a big believer in many restrictions and specific things that I don't put a whole lot of stock in. And while we manage to skirt the topic most times, EVERY time I see her she will get all weird for a couple minutes talking about how x and y food are giving everyone all of these diseases and they are why there is so much cancer, autoimmune disease, etc. She gets the creepiest look in her eyes when she talks about this stuff and it freaks me out. She only actually eats the way she "preaches" about 1/2 of the time anyway and she is always sick and has health issues galore...she still continues to share these "secrets" with me, never mind the fact that I have lost 118 lb in the last 5 years and have no health issues and (just for example) haven't taken any Rx meds other than birth control (in the past, not currently) and have not even needed any antibiotics in 25 years. But since I eat x and y foods and don't brush my teeth with a paste made from coconut oil, I am probably going to die quite soon.
argh that felt good. I really do love my friend, I just think she's extreme and naive.
Vent away GF! That's what this thread is all about :drinker:0 -
Last time my dad made the fat comment I just looked him in the eyes and said "You're an @$$hole!" and walked away. He never did it again.
Epic way to respond. Love it.0 -
I've been vegetarian for most of my life but whenever I am with others I try my best not to be a burden. I will eat a roll of bread and nothing else happily if need be.
Anyway, I often end up in the uncomfortable situation where there is literally nothing available that doesn't contain meat and they tell me to just pick out the meat. can't do that...i would literally get sick everywhere just thinking about it.
Idk, I try as hard as possible not to burden anyone but inevitably it leads to a big to do regardless.
Now that people are noticing I am losing weight I keep getting "helpful tips" which obviously I don't need since what I am already doing is working amazingly.
This! I'm vegetarian and know this feeling.0 -
"She's on a diet."
"is that part of your diet?"
"Why are you dieting?"
ANYTHING WITH THE FREAKIN WORD "DIET" !
I just hate the word "diet". I'm not doing any type of short-term, deprivation fad "diet". I've been living my life, completely normally, eating healthy, exercising regularly. Diets don't usually last for TWO YEARS.
LIFESTYLE! PLEASE USE THE WORD!
Also
"you don't want to get too thin"
"don't lose much more"
This isn't really the same, but when people ask for my advice and want to know how they can lose weight too, I give them my best tools and tips. AND THEN THEY COMPLETELY IGNORE IT ALL! Why?! WHY DID YOU EVEN ASK ME THEN?! It's even worse when they complain the next day that they "can't" lose weight... :ohwell:
Thanks for the opportunity to rant :laugh:0 -
I'm not trying to highjack this thread, but.... could you also add what you would LIKE to hear?
saying nothing is bad because you would like your weight loss to be at least noticed
saying 'you look great!' implies, I guess... that you didn't before?
knowing my luck, if I say "wow, your hard work is really showing", the person will be fighting some disease :noway:
I haven't lost enough for anyone but my hubby to notice (and I'm not quite sure he isn't just being nice ), but, seriously, what would you like your friends to say when their entire intent is to compliment you?:huh:
:flowerforyou:
You can say someone looks good without specifying further (and it doesn't need to imply they looked bad before), but it's actually safest not to comment on someone's body or food intake at all. Why do you feel the need to have your weight loss commented on? You aren't losing it for compliments, surely? Anyway if you do feel compelled to say something about someone else's appearance then how about admiring their hair or jewellery instead?0 -
I get annoyed when people ask if I've been sick and when I say no I'm just eating better they smile and say they were worried about me.... makes me wonder if I look ill??
Also uncomfortable when people assume my food choices are specifically to loose weight and think that now that I'm at goal I'll start eating wheat and dairy again. They get really confused when I tell them I gained 40 pounds and lost 60 eating gluten and dairy free.
I also find that people don't want to talk about anything else with me anymore. Every conversation is about weight loss, diet, food and exercise. I want to just be treated like the same person I've always been.0 -
"Are you still on diet?" I'm like "NO! I just prefer eating healthy."
It's so annoying!0 -
I'm not trying to highjack this thread, but.... could you also add what you would LIKE to hear?
saying nothing is bad because you would like your weight loss to be at least noticed
saying 'you look great!' implies, I guess... that you didn't before?
knowing my luck, if I say "wow, your hard work is really showing", the person will be fighting some disease :noway:
I haven't lost enough for anyone but my hubby to notice (and I'm not quite sure he isn't just being nice ), but, seriously, what would you like your friends to say when their entire intent is to compliment you?:huh:
:flowerforyou:
You can say someone looks good without specifying further (and it doesn't need to imply they looked bad before), but it's actually safest not to comment on someone's body or food intake at all. Why do you feel the need to have your weight loss commented on? You aren't losing it for compliments, surely? Anyway if you do feel compelled to say something about someone else's appearance then how about admiring their hair or jewellery instead?
Agree, tbh. It's better not to comment anything. I don't do it! I have people in my life that have lost weight and I just can give them a compliment that they look good, but don't specify on anything. I could be talking about their outfit today, etc. If you know what I mean.0 -
Quite simply, when people ask your weight/dress size or make uninvited guesses at it.
Why on earth is it anybody's business but mine?? If I bring up the subject then fair enough but otherwise... just why!0 -
Okay, here are mine:
1. That 1000 cals a day is unhealthy. I'm not sure if the 1200 is a US thing or not but back in the 90's in the UK Dr's were recomending 1000 cals a day as a good target. What has changed? Plus- one size does not fit all.
2. That paleo- fans do it only as an excuse to eat loads of meat. Wrong. I gave up vegetarianism to follow this way of eating as i think it's healthier (not looking for a debate here- just personal opinion). I'm not a fan of meat- and I'm really picky. Plus when used as a reducing diet you do need to watch calories and maintain a deficit.
3.The starvation mode thing- don't get me started.
4. Friends asking me whats healthy to eat. Nutrient dense does not automatically = low calorie. Low calorie does not automatically = healthy. Low carb/fat does not = low cal etc. It depends on what you want to do- increase nutirents, cut calories, increase (soluable) fibre, build muscle etc. They want a one-stop wonder food (that hopefully comes in the form of a cupcake)
and
5. Aren't you small? Gosh- you are just tiny!You are so cute- like a little doll etc. etc. I'm 5ft0- so what! I don't comment of your height! (nor do I try to pick you up and carry you around)
6. You are so pale, you are pasty, you are the colour of a milk bottle. Why don't you tan? You should use some bronzer. I'm pale- I love it. I don't tan- never have and I look younger for my age than my freinds who do tan. Don't comment on my skin colour or I'll start calling you racist.0 -
I have allergies (face/throat swelling ones) and trigger foods (I have medical dietary restrictions for a diagnosed medical condition). The amount of rude comments I get about those is phenomenal. Everyone assumes it's either a fad or, perhaps worse, that it's some method of making myself the center of attention.
As a fairly extreme introvert I both HATE being the center of attention, and I hate feeling like strangers are insisting I share personal medical information with them so they can decide how far they believe my 'delusions' go. It seems to make some people feel really insecure and they can get surprisingly aggressive and confrontational about it.
I have a friend with diabetes, and he has the same issue when it comes to social events in that he's constantly explaining himself when he says "no thank you" to obvious items. He's far more outgoing and a lot less private than I am and even he has commented he feels like he should be wearing a big badge which says "I have diabetes" on it to stop him from having to talk about it endlessly.0 -
This just in, "Don't get too obsessive!" Posted on my NSV post on FB, which seems to be collecting lots of annoying comments. Trying to recall if my formerly skinny fat-to-Adonis male friend had equivalent remarks. Oh no, he didn't.0
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6. You are so pale, you are pasty, you are the colour of a milk bottle. Why don't you tan? You should use some bronzer. I'm pale- I love it. I don't tan- never have and I look younger for my age than my freinds who do tan. Don't comment on my skin colour or I'll start calling you racist.
I get this. "You're so pale! Are you eating?" YES, I'M JUST GINGER YOU IDIOT0 -
omg youre so pale! its cause you dont eat meat, girl you need to eat right! *giggles*
or when people tell me im always tired because i live on a vegan diet.
i have always been pale and i have always been tired (now a little less actually), no matter what i ate..0 -
Lorry driver at work who I hadn't seen for a few months noticed I'd lost weight, complimented me on it, but then told me that 'people like us' (him with his massive belly and me with, well, I don't know) aren't meant to be thin and that I shouldn't lose much more weight.0
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Oh and the veggie stuff - the stupid questions. 'How do you know vegetables don't feel pain?' 'What would happen to all the animals if we didn't eat them?'0
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Most of them come from my family because they're the ones who have seen me all of my life.
"You're too skinny now. You look like a stick."
"You look creepy."
"You're all calf now---twig and then calf." (I have big calves for my size.)
"Your bones are sticking out. Gross."
My husband, who is very much a great guy and a big supporter recently told me he would like me to regain a few pounds. I get it. And he definitely doesn't bother me about it. But I don't want to so I won't.
Because of my work schedule, there are a lot of people who haven't seen me in awhile so I am not looking forward to those comments.
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And from the message boards, anyone who is, "OMG 5:2/IF/ETC. sounds SO STUPID AND AWFUL B/C YOUR BODY WILL STARVE." Without realizing that losing weight is all a numbers game and at the end of the week, we're still eating at the same deficit so your argument makes absolutely no sense.0 -
I'm reading all of these things and all I can think is that I wish I had lost enough weight for people to start saying rude things about my smallness.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Oh and the veggie stuff - the stupid questions. 'How do you know vegetables don't feel pain?' 'What would happen to all the animals if we didn't eat them?'
and "but youre taking food from the animals! what are they gonna eat?". i guess its meant to be funny. its not.0
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