Is it okay to "flaunt"?

MissLeelooDallas
MissLeelooDallas Posts: 145 Member
in Motivation and Support
Here's something I haven't had to deal with in a long time, but hear me out please..

In high school (late 90's-early 00's for me), I was fit and happy. I wore the 'trendy' styles that I liked such as bare midriffs and daisy dukes and never thought twice about it. I was 5'3" and 118lbs in high school. Currently I'm 5'3" and 100-102lbs.

This weekend proved to have top notch weather, so I went out and bought a pair of short shorts from Target. For the record, these shorts don't show crack or butt, though they are short. I put them on and popped on a top that showed about an inch of midriff. Sadly, this was met with disapproval by my husband. I love my husband and he is a good person with good intentions. The situation was that we were going to go walking downtown and hit up a bar or two with patios. We were then going to go to a party being thrown by a friend of his and that friend's wife. He informed me that he thought it would look like I was 'showing off' and that it could make his friend's wife jealous. That being said, I now feel iffy about what I should or shouldn't wear around people. Does it just come off cocky or rude to dress in a skimpy fashion in the summer months? To be a little more specific.. when dressing that way around friends who may not be in as good of shape as you make you an insensitive jerk?

I'm not trying to throw my husband under the bus or anything. I think he may have a point and I don't want to upset anyone or make them feel less confident. I also want to enjoy my own rediscovered confidence though..
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Replies

  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    What you should wear depends on you and the situation. To a bar it is fine. To a friends house it may be a bit much.
  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
    Flaunt it.

    Maybe those who feel insecure will then pick it up and work hard like you have. Even if they don't, who cares?

    People are so sensitive sometimes, it's annoying.
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    Your husband might be feeling protective, as if he should be the only one seeing 'that much' of you. Take it as a compliment - he likes the way you look and is jealous of the notice you might receive from others. Perhaps find some middle ground, compromise. Not that your husband is right but there is not always a right and wrong in a relationship.

    As to making other people feel bad? Rubbish. If they are your friends they'll be happy for your success. If they see something in you that makes them feel guilty for making bad choices about fitness and food, then perhaps when they're ready for a change they'll ask your advice.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I think it is less an issue of her husband beint insecure than it is an issue of appropriate dress attire. If her friends are not very conservative and wear whatever, then wear it. If they are more conservative, then it may not be appropriate to show up at their party dressed in short shorts and a belly shirt.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    As a grown up I try to pair things like short shorts with a nice flowy full coverage top. Or a crop top with a skirt or longer shorts (actually I don't wear crop tops). I don't know, the short shorts, and crop top seems like a teenager and/or beach look to me.

    But no, I don't think you should avoid it in order to prevent people form feeling bad, or that it's bad to flaunt.
  • sarainiowa
    sarainiowa Posts: 287 Member
    What you wear in high school most likely shouldn't be worn when you're an adult and married. . . . . . . . . .

    Let your husband enjoy your body with some sexy new lingerie.

    Enough said.
  • Dedshot
    Dedshot Posts: 145
    Not wearing shorts to prevent others from feeling bad about themselves is like cutting your long hair off in case someone with short hair gets offended. Do what you want and don't worry about how others feel about the way you look. It's your body, don't cover yourself up. If other people are really that easily offended by your body, they can go blog about it. Not your problem.
  • tattsb4u
    tattsb4u Posts: 30
    I am no where near short shorts but I tell my daughter.....low cut shirt goes with jeans....short shorts go with a more conservative top. Maybe its just too much for him to take all at once :)
  • missomgitsica
    missomgitsica Posts: 496 Member
    I feel like short shorts and tops that show off your stomach (even if it's only an inch or so) is, quite frankly, a little young for you. No offense, but I was in HS around the same time as you, and I wouldn't dress like that now at any weight. I don't want to look like I'm still in high school. Just my two cents. Like I said, no offense meant, but I'm a fan of age appropriate dressing.
  • krawhitham
    krawhitham Posts: 831 Member
    I guess just dress in a way *you* feel comfortable with. Being comfortable in my own clothes is the #1 reason for me to lose 50 lbs.

    That being said, I'd never be caught dead in short shorts. I don't care how skinny I am. I stopped wearing short shorts in my 20's because they weren't appropriate for me anymore. But, if they're your style, I say go for it.

    As for midriff shirts... I thought they went out of style in the 80's, but hey, do what ya gotta do!
  • lmhbuss
    lmhbuss Posts: 282 Member
    If going to an event/location where there is a high likelihood that you will be seen by you or your spouse's boss/co-workers...best to err on the side of caution. Otherwise, show it off! You worked for it.
  • law110
    law110 Posts: 43
    I vote no to a crop top when you're going out. If my friend wore one I would feel a bit sorry that she was so needy for that kind of attention. Sorry! I'm sure you feel amazing!
  • ChaplainHeavin
    ChaplainHeavin Posts: 426 Member
    I don't want to upset anyone or make them feel less confident. I also want to enjoy my own rediscovered confidence though..

    I doubt it would make someone less confident. The question is, in my opinion, what message do you think your flaunting would be sending and what message is it that will actually be received?
  • TXRanchGirl
    TXRanchGirl Posts: 303
    hmm..
    as a chic who is of the same age (im assuming..early thirties?) I will say, (and Im 5'2 and 117 pounds) While Im all for cute short shorts..I have had to seriously re-vamp some of my thinking, in regards to fashion. Even in my twenties I could get away with wearing cutesy stuff..but I feel now, as an "adult"..some apparel is best left in high school..

    There are plenty of cute, classy and sexy things to wear that jive with adulthood. This allows your DH to be happy, you to be happy, friends to be happy and folks to take you seriously.

    because if one of our friends showed up in a midriff baring top..Id be alittle taken aback...
  • msthang444
    msthang444 Posts: 491 Member
    I think it is less an issue of her husband beint insecure than it is an issue of appropriate dress attire. If her friends are not very conservative and wear whatever, then wear it. If they are more conservative, then it may not be appropriate to show up at their party dressed in short shorts and a belly shirt.

    I have to agree. Showing up underdressed (or overdressed for that matter) anywhere is uncomfortable. I went to an outdoor function at hubby's new coaching staff's house, and uh... let's just say everyone else was more conservative than I and i was uneasy.
  • Loralrose
    Loralrose Posts: 203
    Obviously you can wear whatever makes you feel best about yourself. But when I look back on what I wore in high school I cringe a little... most of those fashions look really immature to me now. I don't think it's usually a good idea for a grown woman to dress like a kid. You can be sexy and classy at the same time.
  • chankanaab07
    chankanaab07 Posts: 48 Member
    It's ok to be proud of what you have accomplished, but I'm personally not a fan of showing off. I know people will disagree, but to me, modest is hottest!
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Wear whatever you want and makes you comfortable. What anyone else thinks is not important. Age appropriate my *kitten*...
  • LVCeltGirl
    LVCeltGirl Posts: 473
    I say "It's okay to flaunt" in appropriate places. If it's at a place where you're going to run into anybody for your husband's (or your) place of employment, I'd recommend going on the conservative side (unless it's a night out where the less conservative choice is still very appropriate (dance club/bar perhaps)). Err on the side of caution when it could involve someone that signs your spouse's (or your) paycheck.
  • klyn7788
    klyn7788 Posts: 52 Member
    I think the idea of flaunting it is great ... but do so in an age appropriate manner. I think that is probably what your husband reacted to. I can't remember the last time I saw anyone that wasn't a teenager wearing the items you've described together. I am younger than you but as a professional, would be humiliated to be seen by anyone I knew in your outfit - whether it be a friend or a family member or a colleague.

    I love the crop top and long skirt look if you want to go that route! You obviously look awesome and have killer confidence so there's really no need to put it all out there at once.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    I wear crop tops and short shorts, but I'm also generally unconcerned with how people perceive me. What're they gonna do, whisper about me behind my back? Oh noes!
  • BettyDares
    BettyDares Posts: 1,498 Member
    Totally think it's ok to flaunt (I look forward to it myself when I can) but, personally, little shirt + little shorts is probably a bit too much for my tastes. Agreed with the suggestion to pair crop top + longer bottoms and short shorts with a looser or full-length top. This is still sexy in my opinon!

    However, I think you should wear what you feel and no one should shame you or anyone for wearing what they like and feel comfortable in!

    In other words, I'd say the same thing to a curvy gal who wanted to wear the same.
  • SuzyLy
    SuzyLy Posts: 133 Member
    I would say no to the short-shorts in a bar situation, unless you are at a beach bar where bathing suits are also being worn. Couldn't you flaunt with a pair of tight jeans? Pick & chose your disagreements/fights---I certainly wouldn't want to piss off my hubbie in order to show off my body.
  • Fenrissa
    Fenrissa Posts: 116
    Not wearing shorts to prevent others from feeling bad about themselves is like cutting your long hair off in case someone with short hair gets offended. Do what you want and don't worry about how others feel about the way you look. It's your body, don't cover yourself up. If other people are really that easily offended by your body, they can go blog about it. Not your problem.
    Exactly. Wear what you feel good in, there's nothing wrong with being confident in your own body and flaunting it.
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    You are not in high school anymore, it's not attractive to look like you are trying too hard. It's much sexier and attractive to dress age appropriate and classy. I would not let my daughter wear short shirts and a mid drift shirt so I would never wear it myself, regardless of my weight.
  • Orion782
    Orion782 Posts: 391
    I believe the issue here is that for whatever the reason, your husband is NOT ok with it. You should talk to him about it, and if it's seriously an issue for him then you should honor his request and not push the envelope. Men are jealous creatures by nature - especially if there is an insecurity there - and insisting to "do what you want" will only create further discord.
  • yankeedownsouth
    yankeedownsouth Posts: 717 Member
    Wear whatever you want and makes you comfortable. What anyone else thinks is not important. Age appropriate my *kitten*...

    +1
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    What you should wear depends on you and the situation. To a bar it is fine. To a friends house it may be a bit much.

    This ^^

    Although honestly it also seems like a bit much for a bar, other than a beach bar, to me. But that might just be a regional thing. You never seen women in short shorts in a bar here. Capris or jeans with a top like you describe would be fairly common though.
  • ChaplainHeavin
    ChaplainHeavin Posts: 426 Member
    What anyone else thinks is not important. Age appropriate my *kitten*...

    So then what you just posted must not be important as well?
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    What anyone else thinks is not important. Age appropriate my *kitten*...

    So then what you just posted must not be important as well?

    As far as what other people think of your dress, is not important. I'm not sure what point you are trying and failing to make.

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