Is it okay to "flaunt"?

accebersmith

I don't feel that how others dress is a reflection upon myself, so it wouldn't bother me to eat dinner with you in the outfit you described. Perhaps if someone had fairly low levels of self-confidence, they might feel weird about it, but frankly, I try not to use those folks as a barometer, you know? Do what makes *you* comfortable. You're not deliberately causing harm to yourself or anyone else, so go for it.

QuietBloom

This is obviously an issue between you and your husband. He seems to feel insecure about your new body. If it were me, I would refrain if it made my husband uncomfortable, but try to get the bottom of the reason why. Saying it's because he's concerned about other women feeling bad, is baloney.

rickivasquez

In general, I think people should be able to dress how they feel most comfortable. If you look great in an outfit, flaunt it! Absolutely do not worry about making others feel bad. Those are their issues, not yours. However, I do think it's wise to consider age and appropriateness for the venue. I would look to other people your age whose fashion sense you admire. Take a cue from them on what styles are age appropriate and flattering.

seltzermint555

I feel you have to do what you feel makes you comfortable- I think the hubby issue needs to be addressed as to why he feels uncomfortable.

I don't think you should dress for other people...you have to do what makes you feel good.

That being said I also believe in if being a little critical for yourself- I don't remember where I heard this rule (Maybe Stacy London- not sure whatever- it was a good one) you go with one extreme- cover the other- if it's short and tight- the top shouldn't be that too. If the top is short and tight- then the bottom shouldn't be. Find a balance and you can look sophistocated AND sexy- showing off your hard work in a much more flattering adult way.

short shorts and a short crop top screams to me that you're trying to hard.

I've gotta agree with this idea about covering one thing and exposing the other. I think that is pretty solid advice. I'd save the super skimpy stuff for the hottest times in summer when you are going to be outdoors and/or hanging at a patio/beach/pool area.

QuietBloom

I wear crop tops and short shorts, but I'm also generally unconcerned with how people perceive me. What're they gonna do, whisper about me behind my back? Oh noes!

I'm almost 50, yet I like to wear tops that show about an inch of belly. HORRORS!!

Achrya

I wear crop tops and short shorts, but I'm also generally unconcerned with how people perceive me. What're they gonna do, whisper about me behind my back? Oh noes!

I'm almost 50, yet I like to wear tops that show about an inch of belly. HORRORS!!

I'm almost positive this means you're tacky. As such you're also invited to my house for the next BBQ. I live in Hawaii, hope that's not a problem for you.

QuietBloom

Wear whatever you want and makes you comfortable. What anyone else thinks is not important. Age appropriate my *kitten*...

I like you. :blushing:

QuietBloom

I wear crop tops and short shorts, but I'm also generally unconcerned with how people perceive me. What're they gonna do, whisper about me behind my back? Oh noes!

I'm almost 50, yet I like to wear tops that show about an inch of belly. HORRORS!!

I'm almost positive this means you're tacky. As such you're also invited to my house for the next BBQ. I live in Hawaii, hope that's not a problem for you.

I LOVE Hawaii!! Since I am so tacky - will there be a velcro wall?

Achrya

I wear crop tops and short shorts, but I'm also generally unconcerned with how people perceive me. What're they gonna do, whisper about me behind my back? Oh noes!

I'm almost 50, yet I like to wear tops that show about an inch of belly. HORRORS!!

I'm almost positive this means you're tacky. As such you're also invited to my house for the next BBQ. I live in Hawaii, hope that's not a problem for you.

I LOVE Hawaii!! Since I am so tacky - will there be a velcro wall?

Sure! We'll make it a theme.We'll have tiki drinks (those are pretty tacky) and put grass skirts on the table. We'll do it big

MissLeelooDallas

As long as your outfit is appropriate for where you are going, I do not feel you should worry about it. Ask your husband why he thinks this? Is there ANY first hand information he has? Is it the other husband GUESSING what his wife thinks and repeating something that has been altered form its actual context?

No doubt if she has extra weight and it is on her mind, she has told her husband that. But I doubt she babbled on to say that she was envious of you. If she was, I doubt she would come. If she is, it is just too screwed up and not your problem.

Is she really this unglued? If she was, she would probably have a break down just going into public. If your husband says his buddy says, his wife is self conscious of weight, or something to that effect, it still has nothing to do with you.

And it is quite likely, she is not. I also have my doubts she is involved in this idea. Maybe your husband does not want the eyes of other men on you in a bar! To me, the whole thing is weird. It is not like you are going to wear a shirt printed, "Hey You- I am Thin and You are Not! HA HA !" When you had a few extra pounds, did you look at other women and actually get upset? I don't. I think, hey, they look great! That is normal- the worry about her inner emotions sounds off base to me.

First off, I want to respond to everyone, but know that I'm reading every post and thinking over what they each contain.

I will in fact ask my husband about where he was coming from, but my gut feeling is that it was a combination of jealousy (other guys possibly checking me out) combined with his own modesty on some level. He's a good guy, but he doesn't even like to discuss his job much because he feels like it could be viewed as 'bragging'. I'm guessing he was thinking my outfit my be a similar equivalent of 'rubbing it in' or some such thing.

As for the friend's wife and that couple in general, they work in the same field as us (different companies and they are college friends of my husbands). They aren't conservation and are actually pretty outgoing. I'd say the wife is usually in sports tee shirts and shorts or jeans. We saw them all a little over a week prior to the party when we went out to a dressy place and then hung out in our hot tub. She was wearing a cute dress earlier and a bikini later. I was wearing a long dress (tight, but completely covered) and also a bikini later. I'm not good at guessing weight, but I'd say she's around 140 and a similar height. Neither of us discussed my weight loss, as I don't bring it up to others unless they ask me directly about it. She did mention later in the night that she had started weight training. I didn't get any bad feelings from her that night (jealousy or otherwise), so it's very doubtful my husband received any feedback from them prior to this bbq.

randomtai

Wear whatever you want and makes you comfortable. What anyone else thinks is not important. Age appropriate my *kitten*...

I like you. :blushing:

The feeling is mutual :drinker: :flowerforyou:

OkamiLavande

Since everyone is throwing their hat into the ring of opinions, I'll throw mine in as well.

Personally, I'd wear whatever your comfortable with. I may not be your age but if your comfortable in a barely crop top and shorter shorts then rock it. My husband doesn't like me wearing stuff like that but he knows that I like to so he toughs it out for me. I once was mortified when I showed up to an unknown church BBQ my friend invited me to because of how I was dressed, but soon I realized no one actually cared or was uncomfortable and it was just fun.

It just depends on the environment you'll be in. Wear whatever fits where you're going and leave it at that. I see women twice my age dressed like me because they look good doing it. If you can rock it and own it, go for it, just be sure it's appropriate for the event.

Pirate_chick

Dear God not bare bellies!!!!! What next, bare ankles? The indecency of it all.

heading to your friend's house damn near 30 wearing a crop top and booty shorts, yes, it's tacky. nothing against bare bellies at appropriate places ie beach, pool parties, etc. You missed the point of my post. It's easy to flaunt and be classy about it. You don't go to a dinner party at your husband's friend's house dressed like you're 17.

I guess this means we can't be friends, because if you come over my place to eat it's a sea of short shorts and cropped tops.

I'll make a note to weep over my tackiness later.

If you and yours are comfortable dressing inappropriately more power to you. She asked for an opinion, I gave it. If you do not agree with my opinion, that's fine. No skin off my back. clearly I struck a nerve. :laugh:

Dressing inappropriately as determined by you, right? Its not an issue of your opinion, its an issue of stating your opinion as if it's a blanket statement that applies to all women, in all places, and show be followed because you said so. Should we all start sending you pictures of our intended outfits to make sure it doesn't meet your standard of tackiness?

:laugh: : Child, please. An opinion is a judgment or belief drawn and formed from ones own personal views and experiences. I didn't say that my opinion was fact, it is simply my opinion, a belief, and or judgement. If I think someone looks like tacky and classless, due to their choice of outfit in a particular sitting, that's my belief. You can not negate what I believe because it does fit your opinion. :laugh: Let your tacky flag fly in booty shorts and crop tops at your functions, if that is the situational norm. No skin off my nose. Where I come from that is not the situational norm, therefore I view it as tacky. :laugh:

randomtai

I wear crop tops and short shorts, but I'm also generally unconcerned with how people perceive me. What're they gonna do, whisper about me behind my back? Oh noes!

I'm almost 50, yet I like to wear tops that show about an inch of belly. HORRORS!!

I'm almost positive this means you're tacky. As such you're also invited to my house for the next BBQ. I live in Hawaii, hope that's not a problem for you.

I LOVE Hawaii!! Since I am so tacky - will there be a velcro wall?

Sure! We'll make it a theme.We'll have tiki drinks (those are pretty tacky) and put grass skirts on the table. We'll do it big

I'm coming too!!!! Team Tacky checking in :happy:

Achrya

Dear God not bare bellies!!!!! What next, bare ankles? The indecency of it all.

heading to your friend's house damn near 30 wearing a crop top and booty shorts, yes, it's tacky. nothing against bare bellies at appropriate places ie beach, pool parties, etc. You missed the point of my post. It's easy to flaunt and be classy about it. You don't go to a dinner party at your husband's friend's house dressed like you're 17.

I guess this means we can't be friends, because if you come over my place to eat it's a sea of short shorts and cropped tops.

I'll make a note to weep over my tackiness later.

If you and yours are comfortable dressing inappropriately more power to you. She asked for an opinion, I gave it. If you do not agree with my opinion, that's fine. No skin off my back. clearly I struck a nerve. :laugh:

Dressing inappropriately as determined by you, right? Its not an issue of your opinion, its an issue of stating your opinion as if it's a blanket statement that applies to all women, in all places, and show be followed because you said so. Should we all start sending you pictures of our intended outfits to make sure it doesn't meet your standard of tackiness?

:laugh: : Child, please. An opinion is a judgment or belief drawn and formed from ones own personal views and experiences. I didn't say that my opinion was fact, it is simply my opinion, a belief, and or judgement. If I think someone looks like tacky and classless, due to their choice of outfit in a particular sitting, that's my belief. You can not negate what I believe because it does fit your opinion. :laugh: Let your tacky flag fly in booty shorts and crop tops at your functions, if that is the situational norm. No skin off my nose. Where I come from that is not the situational norm, therefore I view it as tacky. :laugh:

Yeah, me and my belief that it's not okay to call people tacky or tell them to cover up based on age, so childish. I mean, I probably should have just told you that where I live you'd be considered tacky and try hard and then just said 'Whatever man, that's just my opinion.' if you tried to point out how silly that is.

Now I have childish things to attend to and I assume you have a game of bingo calling your name.

woofit49

The question you need to ask yourself is; Why do I still want to look like I am in High school at 30+? I would say even though your husband loves you, he still wants a sexy well dressed mature woman on his arm to be proud of, not a skimpy dressed high school girl. Could be that look embarrass him.

woofit49

Yes that's called class! Thank you

mank32

"flaunt" your figure without showing any skin: that's what body-hugging fabrics and tailored cuts are for. it is possible to be supersexy and superclassy at the same time, while displaying your figure--no excess skin-baring involved. #booblesswisdom

kikilita

If you got it, flaunt it! Just make sure your clothes aren't matching a 16 year old's and you should be good. If you got it from the women's section, I don't see a problem. If it's super obvious, you were buying teens clothing, then that'd be awkward. Otherwise, just sit back and have fun!

DucklingtoSwan

In general, I think people should be able to dress how they feel most comfortable. If you look great in an outfit, flaunt it! Absolutely do not worry about making others feel bad. Those are their issues, not yours. However, I do think it's wise to consider age and appropriateness for the venue. I would look to other people your age whose fashion sense you admire. Take a cue from them on what styles are age appropriate and flattering.

This. When I am at or even near goal, you can bet I intend to flaunt as much as I damn well please, since I have never been able to my entire high school and adult life. I will still consider age-appropriateness and the particular circumstances; however I also will not be above rocking something a little younger/riskier if it's an appropriate environment, and where I am among friends with whom I feel safe and I know I won't be judged.