Is it okay to "flaunt"?

firstsip

I'll put it bluntly and to the point, grow the hell up. You wore it to show off and get attention and most likely to make your husband jealous! This isn't reality TV!!!

Said by someone who didn't even bother looking at the outfit and just wanted to come in here and say something nasty.

Not nasty, I just tell it as I see it. Like why even post what she did? Just looking for the attention. And BTW, you have gorgeous legs!

Wait, weren't you leaving, as you announced in a topic that clearly wasn't attention-seeking at all?

rml_16

As for the questions of my ability to wear this outfit at 29, I suppose there's something more to address there. Yes, it could be seen as a 'young person's outfit'. I get that. Maybe I'm in denial, but I didn't feel like I was dressing like a 17 year old when I put it on. I don't think it necessarily draws a bunch of negative attention to myself in an outdoor bar on a hot day. Maybe it would and I just don't know.. Either way, I guess I'll just say I have questionable taste. I wouldn't wear the outfit to a work function, a dressy or even semi-dressy event, or a family gathering (though I wouldn't be ashamed to be seen by family while in the outfit).

I'm 37 and I would wear short cutoffs and a T-shirt and not feel like I was dressed too young. It's a perfectly reasonable outfit for someone your age. The "it's too young" arguments are silly.

I live in sundresses in the summer, though. I live in Florida and I would roast in that outfit! lol

ValGogo

OK I see the ensemble. It looks like she's tiny and the shorts are short but not hootchie. I don't like the bottom of the shirt (that's just me) but it's not inapporpriate for pool party, casual bar, casual friends house hangout. She's a little peanut so she does not look trashy. It works for her.

If her buttcheeks were hanging out, I'd call shenanigans but it's not the case.

Achrya

Holy moly there's been a lot of activity on here! I will catch up after my morning red bull :drinker:

Anyway... My profile photo is now one of the outfit in question...

I don't think it's so bad as far as showing skin etc. But while we're all being brutally honest it doesn't "work" IMO. I think the top would be cuter with dressier shorts, a skirt, or something -- and the shorts would be cute with a tank or cute fitted t-shirt. To me that looks like a clubwear top that is too big for you and some ultra casual jean shorts.

As for the cut-outs on the shirt, I think MOST women could get away with that top it is not so risqué whatsoever...

^^I agree- totally harmless- none-jealous inducing outfit; is perfectly harmless- I barely consider those shorts "short" to be honest.

but it does look a little awkward.

and for the random post everyone missed about "you're only job when you are married is to make your man happy BAW HA HA HA HA HHAHAHAHHA"

just no.sooooo much no.

This thread is actually full of 'WTF' stuff along that line (Like the poster who dresses down in jeans and tshirts because her husband says she attracts too much attention). I've had my eyes opened to the way other people live and I'll be honest, I'm a little bit...alarmed.

Orion782

But maybe your vast experience with all the best marriages has taught you something I don't know.

Yup! :drinker: Now we understand one another! :flowerforyou:

Please don't take that seriously. I'm totally kidding. I don't know it all, and I'm certainly not a marriage expert. Hope you find someone who values your desire to be 100% in control of your life at all times, truly. In my experiences, that person doesn't exist.

Orion782

However, if it makes your husband super uncomfortable when you dress that way around his friends, maybe you shouldn't dress that way around his friends. He probably knows them better than you do and maybe he thinks they have their own agenda, if you get what I'm saying. Or maybe that's not the issue at all and maybe there's something else going on in his mind. Ask him. That's the only way to get to the bottom of it.

Conversation being the means of communicating ideas and developing respect for one another instead of just assuming control issues, insecurity, and dehumanization?

I dig it.

^^^All this.

ValGogo

Firstly, did you just honestly call someone "ginger"? Wtf? Secondly, I feel bad for you/your spouse if you feel like just because you signed a piece of paper, you have to submit to their ideals of how you should act/dress/behave. That sounds like a lot of miserable restriction to me. I'd be signing some different papers in a hurry if I was in a marriage like that.

Yes, ginger. Like, someone with red hair? It would be akin to someone calling me "blondie" or something, ya know? Is that somehow offensive to you, not of ginger status?

Please, someone - ANYONE - show me where I said that the OP should "submit" to her husband. Can't find it, can you? Mmmmk. The gist of my post was that they should respect one another's opinion. She should go to him and have a discussion about why it bothers him and they can work it out, together. Based on what I've seen in my life, the best marriages work that way...no?

If you don't respect the opinion of your spouse, why are you married? That doesn't mean you always go along with what they want/think. It means that you take their feelings into consideration, because in my understanding of marriage, your spouse should be the most important person in the world to you. Why you would say "Eff you!" to someone who holds that status in your life is beyond me.

Whatever, the only reason you would bring up someone's hair colour is to suggest it's a negative thing regardless of your smug denial. I have nothing against "working things out together" but I don't think her husband has any right to try and control what she's wearing in the first place. No discussion about it. But maybe your vast experience with all the best marriages has taught you something I don't know.

For those Yanks not in the know (I'm a yank too), it's rude to call someone from the UK a "ginger." It's supposed to be offensive, I heard. Apparently they don't like it.

Just clarifying it. And yeah, I know some of us are in the USA, but I believe this site is worldwide, innit? (haha, that's was for the Brits. Love ya!)

BadKittie05

Sadly, I am quite a ways from being able to even think about wearing summer clothes. :laugh:

If she is jealous of how good you look, that's her problem and you should not be penalized for it. Now, if the truth is that your husband will be jealous when other people look at you, but wants to put it off on someone else's insecurities, that's something he needs to own up to. My husband wouldn't want my "goods" hanging out for the world to see, but he's very up front about that too. He loves my body now, and will love it when I lose the weight, but no matter how much I weigh or how good I look, I feel that, as his wife, it is my job to honor him and not create a problem with how I am dressed. Confidence is a great thing to have, but respect for yourself and your spouse are just as important.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I was imagining something much more revealing when I read the OP.

bagge72

Firstly, did you just honestly call someone "ginger"? Wtf? Secondly, I feel bad for you/your spouse if you feel like just because you signed a piece of paper, you have to submit to their ideals of how you should act/dress/behave. That sounds like a lot of miserable restriction to me. I'd be signing some different papers in a hurry if I was in a marriage like that.

Yes, ginger. Like, someone with red hair? It would be akin to someone calling me "blondie" or something, ya know? Is that somehow offensive to you, not of ginger status?

Please, someone - ANYONE - show me where I said that the OP should "submit" to her husband. Can't find it, can you? Mmmmk. The gist of my post was that they should respect one another's opinion. She should go to him and have a discussion about why it bothers him and they can work it out, together. Based on what I've seen in my life, the best marriages work that way...no?

If you don't respect the opinion of your spouse, why are you married? That doesn't mean you always go along with what they want/think. It means that you take their feelings into consideration, because in my understanding of marriage, your spouse should be the most important person in the world to you. Why you would say "Eff you!" to someone who holds that status in your life is beyond me.

Here you go

"His opinion and his alone marks the difference. If OP decides to continue wearing this in opposition to her husband's feelings about it, then there WILL BE a problem and further discord.."

JoRocka

This thread is actually full of 'WTF' stuff along that line (Like the poster who dresses down in jeans and tshirts because her husband says she attracts too much attention). I've had my eyes opened to the way other people live and I'll be honest, I'm a little bit...alarmed.

indeed- I'm pretty conservative on my views of marriage and relationships- but even some of these ideas are insane.
The one girl who said her BF would see her live in a burka- I realize it's hyperbole but still that's so over the top extreme.

for real? My boyfriend tries to cop a feel every time I get something out of my car- he hates when I wear pants- he loves skirts/dresses he always has a hand on my leg when we go anywhere in the car.

He'll tell me he thinks something doesn't look good on me- but I'm also an adult and I try to make sure I buy stuff that's flattering so I never pull something out of my closet that is just SO out there he is ashamed of me. These men need to get a grip on their jealousy- just because you can't control your emotions doesn't mean you have the right to control the way someone dresses.

Losing75byDecember

Honor and obey. Did we all forget our marriage vows? If my hubby says no to something I'm wearing because it bothers him, I'll go change into something less sexy. If you love your SO, you shouldn't be flaunting to other guys, plain and simple.

Pirate_chick

Anyway... My profile photo is now one of the outfit in question...

ImagePlease

Looks fine. In fact, it is a bit conservative for what I thought it was going to be in your initial description.

I lived through the 60's and early 70's where your outfit would have been nearly deemed to be worn only by a prude. ;-)



Perhaps we all worry too much....

That's the outfit. :laugh: That's perfectly fine. :laugh: :laugh: appropriate length shorts and nice top.

this is what I had pictured, but with a shorter top. :noway: imo this is tacky to go hang out at your husband's friend's house.

Orion782

Here you go

"His opinion and his alone marks the difference. If OP decides to continue wearing this in opposition to her husband's feelings about it, then there WILL BE a problem and further discord.."

So it's unreasonable to think that your mate would be upset and it cause further problems if you continued in direct defiance of their opinion without at least having a conversation about it?

In no way did that statement imply that she should just "not do it". Contextual reading reveals that as the OP has now stated, communication was key and a discussion should be had before anyone did anything rash.

Nice try! :drinker:

DJ7203

Anyway... My profile photo is now one of the outfit in question...

ImagePlease

Looks fine. In fact, it is a bit conservative for what I thought it was going to be in your initial description.

I lived through the 60's and early 70's where your outfit would have been nearly deemed to be worn only by a prude. ;-)

That's the outfit. :laugh: That's perfectly fine. :laugh: :laugh: appropriate length shorts and nice top.

this is what I had pictured: :noway: not ok to go chill with your husband's friend.



Perhaps we all worry too much....

I love the outfit on the bottom! Whoever that is, they are rocking it!

MissLeelooDallas

I'll put it bluntly and to the point, grow the hell up. You wore it to show off and get attention and most likely to make your husband jealous! This isn't reality TV!!!

Said by someone who didn't even bother looking at the outfit and just wanted to come in here and say something nasty.

Not nasty, I just tell it as I see it. Like why even post what she did? Just looking for the attention. And BTW, you have gorgeous legs!

Wait, weren't you leaving, as you announced in a topic that clearly wasn't attention-seeking at all?

Hmm hmm... I posted the topic to get honest opinions, not to get attention but w/e. The only reason I put up photos was because several people wanted a reference to better provide insight.

*edited to clarify this was a response to the next to last post quoted.

firstsip

Honor and obey. Did we all forget our marriage vows? If my hubby says no to something I'm wearing because it bothers him, I'll go change into something less sexy. If you love your SO, you shouldn't be flaunting to other guys, plain and simple.

Like hell I made a marriage vow to "obey."

firstsip

I'll put it bluntly and to the point, grow the hell up. You wore it to show off and get attention and most likely to make your husband jealous! This isn't reality TV!!!

Said by someone who didn't even bother looking at the outfit and just wanted to come in here and say something nasty.

Not nasty, I just tell it as I see it. Like why even post what she did? Just looking for the attention. And BTW, you have gorgeous legs!

Wait, weren't you leaving, as you announced in a topic that clearly wasn't attention-seeking at all?

Hmm hmm... I posted the topic to get honest opinions, not to get attention but w/e. The only reason I put up photos was because several people wanted a reference to better provide insight.

Don't mistake me for that poster! I don't think you were attention-seeking; however, the person who accused you of doing so appears to be projecting

Pirate_chick

I love the outfit on the bottom! Whoever that is, they are rocking it!

They look great in it, I agree, but not for a friend's bbq. Maybe for a night out with your girls at the beach.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

Honor and obey. Did we all forget our marriage vows? If my hubby says no to something I'm wearing because it bothers him, I'll go change into something less sexy. If you love your SO, you shouldn't be flaunting to other guys, plain and simple.