Is it okay to "flaunt"?

jamiesillimandunn

Nothing wrong with flaunting, but keep in mind the surroundings your in , your outfit sounds fine to be at a deck bar, but a friends party may be more reserved ( maybe ) lol...I would keep the shorts with a nice modest top and some cowgirl boots but thats me !

Orion782

She'll follow his wishes or there will be problems, right pal?

Strong post, pal.

This isn't about submitting to your husband's every crazy whim and notion. This isn't about going back to the 1950's or whatever snarky comment was posted by our ginger friend above. This is about the OP having an honest discussion with her husband about why this bothers him and how they can address it - TOGETHER. I would bet dollars to donuts that if/when this conversation takes place, both parties will come away with a better understanding of one another and come to an amicable agreement on how to address such things moving forward. If not, well...at least they didn't just say "SCREW IT I'M MY OWN PERSON AND WHAT MY MATE THINKS HAS NO BEARING ON HOW I ACT/DRESS/BEHAVE/ETC!!!"

Ease up, broski. OP came to the internet looking for opinions on if something is ok. The moral of this story is it doesn't matter what you, or I, or anyone else thinks about the appropriatness of her attire.

/thread. Again. I supposed I "DGAF" about your dissent. :laugh:

Fullsterkur_woman

Dying laughing at the very idea of telling my husband what to wear/not wear or vice versa. We're in a spousal relationship, not a parent/child relationship.

What I wear cannot literally hurt someone else, so it's entirely up to me. If he gets upset, that's on him to deal with, because that's how adults behave.

castadiva

Having now seen the outfit in question, I can't see anything wrong with it, though it might be a bit too casual for some parties, especially if some of those attending are colleagues rather than friends, or the general vibe is more formal/dressy - I guess it depends on the area you live in, and the situation you expect to be in. Maybe have a gentle chat with your hubby about why he disliked the outfit - is he feeling a bit insecure, with you looking so svelte, or is there another issue at hand?

The_Aly_Wei

Holy moly there's been a lot of activity on here! I will catch up after my morning red bull :drinker:

Anyway... My profile photo is now one of the outfit in question...

You're 29, the outfit is cute as hell, and you pull it off. Wear it and FTW. So unbelievably DGAF what others think, you like it, you wear it. And Dr. Laura is a nutjob.

What I think has been lost in all of this name calling and cat fighting between women, is that it is the OP's HUSBAND who did not approve of what she was wearing. This had nothing to do with "offending" her friends or other people in public. If the OP's husband is not comfortable with her dressing that way, she should obviously have a discussion with him about why he feels that way and come to an understanding of his feelings. Whether or not you or I agree with his feelings is a completely moot point; if you are in a marriage you should respect the other person's feelings even if they are sometimes unreasonable. This is not an issue of "girl power" and "wear what you want"...this is solely an issue between OP and her husband. His opinion and his alone marks the difference. If OP decides to continue wearing this in opposition to her husband's feelings about it, then there WILL BE a problem and further discord...it doesn't matter what you/I think about how she looks in it and how she should operate in a vacuum or as a single person.

/thread. Please.

Oh please. Did I travel via Tardis back to 1950? Should I consult my husband about my outfit every day prior to leaving for work? Should I even be working? Perhaps I should be pregnant and making him a sammich in my Leave it to Beaver floral print apron. Why should she change her outfit to respect his feelings as opposed to him respecting hers desire to feel pretty and sexy. Oh I don't think so. :noway:

Hummm, or if that is your opinion...dont get married? Perhaps that would make sense...

Oh, I know. It's way too hard to find a man capable of mutual respect. It's so much easier to find a fashion dictator.

No, i just figured it may be a good idea to find someone that you respect their opinions. Being that you are looking for MUTUAL respect, and all.

shaylalaine

I dress sorta flaunty at 260, low cut and shorts works for me, if I like what I see in the mirror I wear it. I do always keep in mind the venue, but never consider my age.

Fullsterkur_woman

I don't feel that a person's right to dress how they want is them throwing a childish tantrum. I actually think it's kind of important. She's not his child, she's his wife. And before that, she's a human being. These are not decisions he gets to make, not even decisions they make together. As a grown woman she is allowed to choose how to dress herself. You understand that, right?

Can we just clone you, please? There are a lot of women out there who are looking for a man like you.

husseycd

Boy, women can be judgy little judgers. And I only made it through page 5...

OP, I'm nearly 10 years older than you and I will wear short shorts when it's warm. I also will wear crop tops with a high wasted skirt. I don't usually wear them together anymore, but that's just me.

I've also had problems with women and jealousy, often unrelated to what I'm wearing but definitely related to fitness. Even in a community of belly dancers, where a bare midriff is expected, women can be weird about it.

My husband is also conservative, and I do try to dress to the occasion. But I refuse to pander to society's perception of women and age. There are so many "rules" considering how a woman is supposed to age. Pshaw, I say.

soywoman

I feel like short shorts and tops that show off your stomach (even if it's only an inch or so) is, quite frankly, a little young for you. No offense, but I was in HS around the same time as you, and I wouldn't dress like that now at any weight. I don't want to look like I'm still in high school. Just my two cents. Like I said, no offense meant, but I'm a fan of age appropriate dressing.

Agreed.

MapleFlavouredMaiden

I don't feel that a person's right to dress how they want is them throwing a childish tantrum. I actually think it's kind of important. She's not his child, she's his wife. And before that, she's a human being. These are not decisions he gets to make, not even decisions they make together. As a grown woman she is allowed to choose how to dress herself. You understand that, right?

Can we just clone you, please? There are a lot of women out there who are looking for a man like you.

Amen to that

MapleFlavouredMaiden

I feel like short shorts and tops that show off your stomach (even if it's only an inch or so) is, quite frankly, a little young for you. No offense, but I was in HS around the same time as you, and I wouldn't dress like that now at any weight. I don't want to look like I'm still in high school. Just my two cents. Like I said, no offense meant, but I'm a fan of age appropriate dressing.

Agreed.

Haha, I'm almost the same age... you should see how I dress when I go out. Haters all of you.

DJ7203

I feel like short shorts and tops that show off your stomach (even if it's only an inch or so) is, quite frankly, a little young for you. No offense, but I was in HS around the same time as you, and I wouldn't dress like that now at any weight. I don't want to look like I'm still in high school. Just my two cents. Like I said, no offense meant, but I'm a fan of age appropriate dressing.

Agreed.

So who decides what clothing is age appropriate?

DJ7203

I feel like short shorts and tops that show off your stomach (even if it's only an inch or so) is, quite frankly, a little young for you. No offense, but I was in HS around the same time as you, and I wouldn't dress like that now at any weight. I don't want to look like I'm still in high school. Just my two cents. Like I said, no offense meant, but I'm a fan of age appropriate dressing.

Agreed.

Haha, I'm almost the same age... you should see how I dress when I go out. Haters all of you.

LOL I'm 3 years older & I may cause a heart attack here if I posted what I wear when I go out with my Husband :laugh:

MapleFlavouredMaiden

She'll follow his wishes or there will be problems, right pal?

Strong post, pal.

This isn't about submitting to your husband's every crazy whim and notion. This isn't about going back to the 1950's or whatever snarky comment was posted by our ginger friend above. This is about the OP having an honest discussion with her husband about why this bothers him and how they can address it - TOGETHER. I would bet dollars to donuts that if/when this conversation takes place, both parties will come away with a better understanding of one another and come to an amicable agreement on how to address such things moving forward. If not, well...at least they didn't just say "SCREW IT I'M MY OWN PERSON AND WHAT MY MATE THINKS HAS NO BEARING ON HOW I ACT/DRESS/BEHAVE/ETC!!!"

Ease up, broski. OP came to the internet looking for opinions on if something is ok. The moral of this story is it doesn't matter what you, or I, or anyone else thinks about the appropriatness of her attire.

/thread. Again. I supposed I "DGAF" about your dissent. :laugh:

Firstly, did you just honestly call someone "ginger"? Wtf? Secondly, I feel bad for you/your spouse if you feel like just because you signed a piece of paper, you have to submit to their ideals of how you should act/dress/behave. That sounds like a lot of miserable restriction to me. I'd be signing some different papers in a hurry if I was in a marriage like that.

Achrya

Holy moly there's been a lot of activity on here! I will catch up after my morning red bull :drinker:

Anyway... My profile photo is now one of the outfit in question...

You're 29, the outfit is cute as hell, and you pull it off. Wear it and FTW. So unbelievably DGAF what others think, you like it, you wear it. And Dr. Laura is a nutjob.

What I think has been lost in all of this name calling and cat fighting between women, is that it is the OP's HUSBAND who did not approve of what she was wearing. This had nothing to do with "offending" her friends or other people in public. If the OP's husband is not comfortable with her dressing that way, she should obviously have a discussion with him about why he feels that way and come to an understanding of his feelings. Whether or not you or I agree with his feelings is a completely moot point; if you are in a marriage you should respect the other person's feelings even if they are sometimes unreasonable. This is not an issue of "girl power" and "wear what you want"...this is solely an issue between OP and her husband. His opinion and his alone marks the difference. If OP decides to continue wearing this in opposition to her husband's feelings about it, then there WILL BE a problem and further discord...it doesn't matter what you/I think about how she looks in it and how she should operate in a vacuum or as a single person.

/thread. Please.

Oh please. Did I travel via Tardis back to 1950? Should I consult my husband about my outfit every day prior to leaving for work? Should I even be working? Perhaps I should be pregnant and making him a sammich in my Leave it to Beaver floral print apron. Why should she change her outfit to respect his feelings as opposed to him respecting hers desire to feel pretty and sexy. Oh I don't think so. :noway:

Hummm, or if that is your opinion...dont get married? Perhaps that would make sense...

I'm married. I hold the same opinion.

Guess I should get a divorce.

Orion782

But you said it's not about them having an honest discussion. You said that even if he's unreasonable, she should conform to what he wants.

While you putting it in all caps may be an attempt to make it sound ridiculous, I don't feel that a person's right to dress how they want is them throwing a childish tantrum. I actually think it's kind of important. She's not his child, she's his wife. And before that, she's a human being. These are not decisions he gets to make, not even decisions they make together. As a grown woman she is allowed to choose how to dress herself. You understand that, right?

Also, spell out your words and drop the "broski" nonsense.

No, no...that's exactly what I said. Please read it back. I said she should talk with him about it and get to the root of it. If not in those words - verbatim - that's certainly what was implied. I did in fact say that if she took the devil-may-care attitude and didn't give his opinion any further consideration, that it would create further problems. I think that's a pretty reasonable expectation, given what we know.

I never said she should "conform to what he wants"...ever. I said they should reach an understanding with one another about how to address this issue, and find a way to work through it, together. I never once stated that if your husband doesn't like it, you should just go along with his almighty will. That's not respectful, that's not a partnership. I do not endorse or condone that in the least.

You're right, she is a human being, and his wife. Hence why it is vastly important that they understand one another. He needs to understand her desires and motivations to dress that way, and she needs to understand his dislike of dressing in a way she felt was appropriate. I would gander there is a deeper issue there, probably on his side, and they could work through it, together.

We apparently have diametrically opposed views of how marriage works, because when I get married, I hope that my wife and I understand one another well enough to know that when we disagree on something, we'll work together to resolve it. It might not happen straight away, but we'll work at it. I hope I'm never married to a person who says "Screw it, I'm me and deal with it" and rather says "I have opinions, but I value yours, too. How can we both compromise here?"

I'm good, brother. Sorry "broski" was so offensive.

AllonsYtotheTardis

that's not even a "flaunt it" outfit. This is what all the fuss is about?

firstsip

Holy moly there's been a lot of activity on here! I will catch up after my morning red bull :drinker:

Anyway... My profile photo is now one of the outfit in question...

You're 29, the outfit is cute as hell, and you pull it off. Wear it and FTW. So unbelievably DGAF what others think, you like it, you wear it. And Dr. Laura is a nutjob.

What I think has been lost in all of this name calling and cat fighting between women, is that it is the OP's HUSBAND who did not approve of what she was wearing. This had nothing to do with "offending" her friends or other people in public. If the OP's husband is not comfortable with her dressing that way, she should obviously have a discussion with him about why he feels that way and come to an understanding of his feelings. Whether or not you or I agree with his feelings is a completely moot point; if you are in a marriage you should respect the other person's feelings even if they are sometimes unreasonable. This is not an issue of "girl power" and "wear what you want"...this is solely an issue between OP and her husband. His opinion and his alone marks the difference. If OP decides to continue wearing this in opposition to her husband's feelings about it, then there WILL BE a problem and further discord...it doesn't matter what you/I think about how she looks in it and how she should operate in a vacuum or as a single person.

/thread. Please.

Oh please. Did I travel via Tardis back to 1950? Should I consult my husband about my outfit every day prior to leaving for work? Should I even be working? Perhaps I should be pregnant and making him a sammich in my Leave it to Beaver floral print apron. Why should she change her outfit to respect his feelings as opposed to him respecting hers desire to feel pretty and sexy. Oh I don't think so. :noway:

Hummm, or if that is your opinion...dont get married? Perhaps that would make sense...

Or... maybe marry someone that values your independence and understands you're still a human being with their own freedoms, preferences and choices?

SEAFOODMAN

<--- This is what 49 looks like now. Put that in your little judgmental pipe and smoke it.

What is wrong with being an attention *kitten* and what makes it pathetic?

I meant women who come off like they are desperately trying to hang onto their youth...I don't like the trend and pressure on women in this society to look "young", I believe in aging gracefully. It also really irks me when they try to get me to do it too, my acquaintance who has been using botox since age 45 for about 10 years: "are you ever going to use it?" Me: "no, it looks fake", her "why?" Me: "because people are meant to have expression lines, even young people have them".

As for being an attention *kitten*, it is not something I respect. I respect people who don't feel they have to behave that way, who can just be who they are without being like, look at me, look at me, I am so great, hey, look at me! I guess social media has made that a thing, but I don't have to like it. But define attention *kitten*, if a woman posts a picture of herself on here in a bikini after she has worked hard to get in shape, I am cheering her on, men too. If they walk around scantily clad in an inappropriate setting, I am going to think they must be insecure and want attention. I just don't respect that and I never will.

You Rock!