Is it okay to "flaunt"?
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Dress your age. You're not in high school anymore, NTM married. I don't care about making the other wife uncomfortable; however, you can flaunt it without wearing a crop top and booty shorts. Unless it's a pool party cover your belly. You can still flaunt it by wearing a fitted top and shorts that are an appropriate length. You can easily flaunt it in a sun dress.
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What anyone else thinks is not important. Age appropriate my *kitten*...
So then what you just posted must not be important as well?
Not important to you, in the context of how you choose to dress yourself, correct. However is is certainly important to the OP in trying to decide if she should care about how other people may perceive her outfit choice, That, of course, is the wonder of individuality. You can read something, disagree, and then leave it where you found it, no harm no foul.
You see what I'm trying to say here?0 -
Dress your age. You're not in high school anymore, NTM married. I don't care about making the other wife uncomfortable; however, you can flaunt it without wearing a crop top and booty shorts. Unless it's a pool party cover your belly. You can still flaunt it by wearing a fitted top and shorts that are an appropriate length. You can easily flaunt it in a sun dress.
Dear God not bare bellies!!!!! What next, bare ankles? The indecency of it all.0 -
The "age appropriate" thing is tricky. Honestly I think teenagers dress dumb (in general) and I am glad I don't "get" to dress like them.0
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I say put on the outfit, take a picture and post it here. Then we can give you a more definitive answer.0
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I agree with the age-appropriate comments and also pairing one "skimpy" piece with something a little more conservative. The outfit you described sounds great for the beach or the park, but wearing it to a bar will get you lots of "attention" & to a party with friends I think is a little much. Having just been to a bar to hear a friend's band, and seeing many 30+ & 40+ women dressing in short shorts & cropped/backless tops made me think they were trying too hard to act young & compete with the younger women for guys' attention... Just my opinion & observation. If that was what your husband was thinking, chances are others might feel the same way, and it may or may not affect their feelings about you.0
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I guess just dress in a way *you* feel comfortable with. Being comfortable in my own clothes is the #1 reason for me to lose 50 lbs.
That being said, I'd never be caught dead in short shorts. I don't care how skinny I am. I stopped wearing short shorts in my 20's because they weren't appropriate for me anymore. But, if they're your style, I say go for it.
As for midriff shirts... I thought they went out of style in the 80's, but hey, do what ya gotta do!
Pretty much exactly this.
I know for me personally whether I was morbidly obese (in the past) or just overweight (now), I would not be ONE bit upset or jealous of a woman for being very slim, fit, and wearing skimpy shorts and midriff-baring shirts. But would I be a little tiny bit judge-y about her sense of style? YEP.
If this woman was pulling it off, looking very good and stylish in her body conscious and/or revealing clothing, looking like a college girl at Coachella dressed straight out of the Anthropologie catalog, then I would think something along the lines of "Wow she's rocking that".
But if she was just a plain looking lady showing her entire leg, midriff, etc, I would be thinking more like, "hmmm that is a lot of skin showing for April" or if it was all athletic wear I'd think "Did she not have time to change post-workout?" - not a judgment of it being inappropriate, sleazy, etc. More like "why is she wearing that when it's not yet 100 degree heat?"
Then again that's just me. Even when I was a size 22 I wasn't jealous/upset about women being skinny or showing off their bodies. Maybe OP's husband's friend's wife is. Who knows. Who cares, really.
I definitely don't think the husband is out of line. There's nothing else here to suggest that he is some controlling and abusive wacko.0 -
I want this tank.
And maybe the shorts. Not the shoes. I'd brake my leg and be 7' tall.0 -
Thanks everyone for the input! It's really interesting to see how everyone views the situation. I like having the feedback for topics like this when I'm not exactly sure of how to proceed.
For the record, I'm 29 years old currently. The shirt in question wasn't a tight shirt, but a loose shirt with "slotting" along with bottom inch (creating little 'windows' through which you could see some stomach skin. I'm going out after work tonight, but I will try and snap a photo of the outfit in the morning for a better reference of what the look is "age wise".
I can certainly see how I might look like I was dressing too young. The bars we were hitting up were patio bars in a trendy area (most of the people going around that area are mid-20's-mid-30's. It was also in the 80s and quite bright and sunny. The party in question was a bbq party in the early evening.0 -
It's a tough topic because what one person sees as "flaunting" may not be what another person sees. I think there's nothing wrong with being proud of your body and being proud of all the hard work it took you to achieve your goals. I say as long as your dressing APPROPRIATELY for the occasion/venue, then wear what you want. Someone is going to judge you regardless of where you are and what you're wearing. You can't please everyone.0
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Dress for the event. There are a lot of clothes that are comfortable, but not appropriate for some situations.0
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Depends on a lot of social and cultural factors. Where do you live? What sort of attitudes/values do your friends have? Is this very different from your normal style? What will other people be wearing? Do you feel comfortable in the outfit or will you be constantly adjusting or pulling at your clothes? Posting a picture here might be helpful.0
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After searching, I like cropped tops with flowy skirts.
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Dear God not bare bellies!!!!! What next, bare ankles? The indecency of it all.
heading to your friend's house damn near 30 wearing a crop top and booty shorts, yes, it's tacky. nothing against bare bellies at appropriate places ie beach, pool parties, etc. You missed the point of my post. It's easy to flaunt and be classy about it. You don't go to a dinner party at your husband's friend's house dressed like you're 17.0 -
Dress your age. You're not in high school anymore, NTM married. I don't care about making the other wife uncomfortable; however, you can flaunt it without wearing a crop top and booty shorts. Unless it's a pool party cover your belly. You can still flaunt it by wearing a fitted top and shorts that are an appropriate length. You can easily flaunt it in a sun dress.
You do realize that three of the pairs of shorts you've posted are short shorts, or "booty shorts," right? Not saying anything is wrong with these outfits. I'd wear everything except for the strapless dress with all those colors. And I actually own the top pair of shoes, but I'd never wear gunmetal satin evening platforms with shorts.
OP, I wear short shorts, and I'm 41. But I live in a hot climate, and I only wear them to appropriate places. If it's a dive bar or a beach bar, 2-3" inseam is totally appropriate. If it's a family picnic, cocktail party, or a kid's birthday party, it's a little trickier and I opt for the longer 5" inseam.
No to the crop top for me even with good abs. If you rock it, though then by all means.0 -
Choose the individuals' opinions that you respect, and then show them. Disregard all other opinions with the exception of your own.0
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Just to have another thing clear on the record, the shorts are short, but no part of my "booty" is exposed. You can't see the bum lines from the back (if you all know what I mean by that). I also by no means have much of a "booty" to speak off. A little muscle, but nothing too fun, haha.0
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Two are, but you get the ensemble...essentially with longer shorts. that should have been clear by the text.0
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Dear God not bare bellies!!!!! What next, bare ankles? The indecency of it all.
heading to your friend's house damn near 30 wearing a crop top and booty shorts, yes, it's tacky. nothing against bare bellies at appropriate places ie beach, pool parties, etc. You missed the point of my post. It's easy to flaunt and be classy about it. You don't go to a dinner party at your husband's friend's house dressed like you're 17.
I guess this means we can't be friends, because if you come over my place to eat it's a sea of short shorts and cropped tops.
I'll make a note to weep over my tackiness later.0 -
My husband would be psyched if I was comfortable enough with my body to bare my midriff even a couple of inches. I was 155 lbs at my heaviest (5'5"), so I've always worn short shorts, but I don't think I've ever owned a shirt short enough to show my stomach. He'd be excited to show me off in that outfit, I think.
I don't think I'd ever wear that outfit, though, to be honest, unless I was at the beach/pool or something. Even if I was at my goal weight or even smaller. But hey, maybe I would if I thought my body was hot enough. If you got it, show it off. If you feel comfortable in it, wear it. And definitely don't let some man, husband or not, tell you what you can and can't wear. I'm all for respecting the marriage, but as long as you're not out there flirting with other guys, there's no disrespect because you're wearing revealing clothing.0 -
Pick one thing to show off at a time, not everything, all at once.0
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I'm of the mind, if you got it, flaunt it.
Classy vs. trashy debate is fine and dandy...but yeah...depending on your lifestyle! Classy is obviously better...but trashy for your man maybe
...LOL
BTW OP....I freaking love your name!!!! FAVE MOVIE EVER!!!!0 -
Dear God not bare bellies!!!!! What next, bare ankles? The indecency of it all.
heading to your friend's house damn near 30 wearing a crop top and booty shorts, yes, it's tacky. nothing against bare bellies at appropriate places ie beach, pool parties, etc. You missed the point of my post. It's easy to flaunt and be classy about it. You don't go to a dinner party at your husband's friend's house dressed like you're 17.
I guess this means we can't be friends, because if you come over my place to eat it's a sea of short shorts and cropped tops.
I'll make a note to weep over my tackiness later.
Hahaha!! :laugh:0 -
Dear God not bare bellies!!!!! What next, bare ankles? The indecency of it all.
heading to your friend's house damn near 30 wearing a crop top and booty shorts, yes, it's tacky. nothing against bare bellies at appropriate places ie beach, pool parties, etc. You missed the point of my post. It's easy to flaunt and be classy about it. You don't go to a dinner party at your husband's friend's house dressed like you're 17.
I guess this means we can't be friends, because if you come over my place to eat it's a sea of short shorts and cropped tops.
I'll make a note to weep over my tackiness later.
Actually I think this makes a good point. It can really vary by factors like location and your specific circle of friends.
Other women are more likely to be jealous of your husband, your vehicle, your huge diamond ring...men are going to check you out whether you have a crop top and booty shorts or baggy jeans and a t-shirt two sizes too big.0 -
I feel you have to do what you feel makes you comfortable- I think the hubby issue needs to be addressed as to why he feels uncomfortable.
I don't think you should dress for other people...you have to do what makes you feel good.
That being said I also believe in if being a little critical for yourself- I don't remember where I heard this rule (Maybe Stacy London- not sure whatever- it was a good one) you go with one extreme- cover the other- if it's short and tight- the top shouldn't be that too. If the top is short and tight- then the bottom shouldn't be. Find a balance and you can look sophistocated AND sexy- showing off your hard work in a much more flattering adult way.
short shorts and a short crop top screams to me that you're trying to hard.0 -
Dear God not bare bellies!!!!! What next, bare ankles? The indecency of it all.
heading to your friend's house damn near 30 wearing a crop top and booty shorts, yes, it's tacky. nothing against bare bellies at appropriate places ie beach, pool parties, etc. You missed the point of my post. It's easy to flaunt and be classy about it. You don't go to a dinner party at your husband's friend's house dressed like you're 17.
I guess this means we can't be friends, because if you come over my place to eat it's a sea of short shorts and cropped tops.
I'll make a note to weep over my tackiness later.
Hahaha!! :laugh:
You however are invited. But be quick, they're kicking my *kitten* off the island soon.0 -
Dear God not bare bellies!!!!! What next, bare ankles? The indecency of it all.
heading to your friend's house damn near 30 wearing a crop top and booty shorts, yes, it's tacky. nothing against bare bellies at appropriate places ie beach, pool parties, etc. You missed the point of my post. It's easy to flaunt and be classy about it. You don't go to a dinner party at your husband's friend's house dressed like you're 17.
I guess this means we can't be friends, because if you come over my place to eat it's a sea of short shorts and cropped tops.
I'll make a note to weep over my tackiness later.
If you and yours are comfortable dressing inappropriately more power to you. She asked for an opinion, I gave it. If you do not agree with my opinion, that's fine. No skin off my back. clearly I struck a nerve. :laugh: Also, you may want to check your ego; I gave no inkling that I desired to be your friend. :laugh:0 -
As long as your outfit is appropriate for where you are going, I do not feel you should worry about it. Ask your husband why he thinks this? Is there ANY first hand information he has? Is it the other husband GUESSING what his wife thinks and repeating something that has been altered form its actual context?
No doubt if she has extra weight and it is on her mind, she has told her husband that. But I doubt she babbled on to say that she was envious of you. If she was, I doubt she would come. If she is, it is just too screwed up and not your problem.
Is she really this unglued? If she was, she would probably have a break down just going into public. If your husband says his buddy says, his wife is self conscious of weight, or something to that effect, it still has nothing to do with you.
And it is quite likely, she is not. I also have my doubts she is involved in this idea. Maybe your husband does not want the eyes of other men on you in a bar! To me, the whole thing is weird. It is not like you are going to wear a shirt printed, "Hey You- I am Thin and You are Not! HA HA !" When you had a few extra pounds, did you look at other women and actually get upset? I don't. I think, hey, they look great! That is normal- the worry about her inner emotions sounds off base to me.0 -
I think if my husband/b/f commented on it, and I have respect for his opinions, then I'd change my outfit out of respect for him and his opinions. After being told that, I just wouldnt feel comfortable. :noway:
I dont really care about the age or style comments, that's all subjective, I just think my partner wouldnt say something like that unless he had an issue with it. Just like I'd ask him to iron his shirt if I thought he looked scruffy, or change his pants if he had a hole in them. You're partners, so you look out for each other.
Obviously, if he's a dominant control freak, then scrap above comments and wear what you like!! :laugh:0 -
Dear God not bare bellies!!!!! What next, bare ankles? The indecency of it all.
heading to your friend's house damn near 30 wearing a crop top and booty shorts, yes, it's tacky. nothing against bare bellies at appropriate places ie beach, pool parties, etc. You missed the point of my post. It's easy to flaunt and be classy about it. You don't go to a dinner party at your husband's friend's house dressed like you're 17.
I guess this means we can't be friends, because if you come over my place to eat it's a sea of short shorts and cropped tops.
I'll make a note to weep over my tackiness later.
If you and yours are comfortable dressing inappropriately more power to you. She asked for an opinion, I gave it. If you do not agree with my opinion, that's fine. No skin off my back. clearly I struck a nerve. :laugh:
Dressing inappropriately as determined by you, right? Its not an issue of your opinion, its an issue of stating your opinion as if it's a blanket statement that applies to all women, in all places, and show be followed because you said so. Should we all start sending you pictures of our intended outfits to make sure it doesn't meet your standard of tackiness?
And yes, I do have strong feelings about women who tell other women they can or can't do things based off of age, as if a magical switch is flipped at 'damn near 30' and all action from that point forward must be in line with certain 'ideals'. If she's 25 and looks cute in her outfit, it's AOK but if she's 30 and in the same outfit it's not? Really? If you're proud to have struck that nerve and like being the sort of person who looks down on other women for not meeting some strange age based standard than hey, kudos.0
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