2 year plateau and confused about differences in calories

_HeartsOnFire_

I won't deny I'm struggling with a lot of areas in my life.

It sounded to me like he was insulting my mental health. Psychs are fine and I take anxiety meds so I have no issue with that.

I don't think I would have lost 50 pounds if I didn't have drive and motivation.

My mother is a WHOLE other ball of wax none of you want to get into...and yes, she is the reason for a LOT of my problems.

I really am sorry I bothered all of you today.

Sweetie, you're not the only one with these problems. You're not alone. You're in the same boat with at least 20% of the people I know. Let's work together to figure out what you CAN do to help your health. Other people solve the same issues you're dealing with. Let's help you solve yours, too.

Can you buy a fitbit?

According to a lot of people in this thread I'm a big loser.

I never said any of this was wrong. I didn't get to address every suggestion. I simply said I didn't have time to weigh all my food. I didn't say I absolutely wasn't going to do that. I said it was a good idea.

While everyone else was jumping down my throat I was trying to answer those and didn't get to express what I thought was a good idea.

I have apps on my phone, I have a pedometer, I have all those things.

I haven't bought a fitbit because I think they're excessively priced.

There you go again...YOU are making assumptions that we all think you are a big loser. NONE OF US HAVE SAID THAT. None of us think that. Evidently that's what you think about yourself though. Again, NO ONE HAS SAID THAT.

KylaDenay

Okay, so here is two days from my diary....

GOAL 1740 per day.
Tuesday
Breakfast
Aramark Cafeteria Scrambled Eggs ½ cup 120 Cals
Pillsbury White Chocolate Raspberry Chunk Scone 440
560
Coffee black.

Lunch
Kellogg’s Special K Deluxe Egg and Cheese Flatbread Sandwich 120 Cals
Red Plum 30 Cals
Fiber One Brownie 90
Cals
310

Dinner

Fazoli’s Chicken Parm 870 cals
2 breadsticks 300

TOTAL
Remaining 64

Wednesday
Breakfast
Aramark Cafeteria Scrambled Eggs ½ cup 120 Cals
Raspberry Pastry (yeah, I know, was going bad) 340
460
Coffee black.
Lunch
Food Lion Blueberry Bagel (per website) 270 cals
Smucker’s Peanut Butter 1.5 oz tub 240
510
Dinner
Cracker Barrel Dinner: 2 scrambled eggs, 1 slice Colby cheese, 2 slices sourdough bread, 1 serving hashbrown casserole, 1 pat butter, 1 grape jam.
791
Water unless coffee specified.

Snack
Costco Pineapple Spears..2 cups 148
217 remaining after 420 exercise cals.

I have no comment on what you are choosing to eat (see my comment about the 1200 calorie shake last night), but here's what's jumping out at me:

Cafeteria scrambled eggs - how do you know it's only 1/2 cup? Are they dense or fluffy? This is not an accurate logging at all. IME, 1/2 C of scrambled eggs would be more than 2 full eggs...that's definitely more than 120 calories without adding in any oil or fat for cooking and I can almost guarantee that some is used. Even places that serve "healthy" egg white only omelettes and eggs will cook them in butter or some type of fat. Say what you think is 1/2 C is actually 1/2 heaping cup which is equal to 10 T instead of 8. This automatically is 125% of your original calculation, so would be 150 calories instead of 120. Now, say they add just a bit of oil...1/2 t only (which is pretty much nothing). That's another 20 calories, making you now off by 50 calories on your one food item. Now, say that it takes 2 large eggs to make 1/2 C scrambled eggs. This means that it's 140 calories instead of 120. Do the math with the other scenarios, and you're now at 195 calories instead of 120 and that's with only 1/2 t oil used for cooking.

What's a raspberry pastry? What was the size? How much did it weigh? Did it come from a labelled package? This is where a food scale would be a great help, even if you have the package it came in. Say 1 serving is supposed to weigh 75 grams. You weigh it and it weighs 100 grams. Instead of 340 calories you've had 450 calories. Or, if you don't have the NI for that exact item and you pick what you think is a close approximation, there is absolutely no way to know if you are off by hundreds of calories or not. Knowing the weight will help (you can choose the 100 gram option instead of just saying 1 large pastry), but there's no way to really accurate if you are eating a fresh made food not made by you. Same for the bagel. Sure, the website says 1 bagel is 270 calories and 112 grams but is it really? Maybe the baker was generous and it weighs 150 grams. There's another 90 calories added to your day.

The cracker barrel? They don't post NI so anything you find is just going to be an estimate. I know they use butter/oil to make the scrambled eggs - have you noticed that they glisten? You could be off by a couple hundred calories at Cracker Barrel, easily, even if the 790 is accurate for what you are supposed to get. If the chef used a bit more oil for the eggs and they were extra generous with your serving of hashbrown casserole, there's calories you haven't accounted for.

Your pineapple spears? Well, depending on how you chunk them, you can fit more or less in a C than is accounted for. Maybe you actually had 3 cups worth? Who knows. Using a food scale eliminates this - if you weigh 100 grams, then you are having 100 grams.

This!!

I have learned a lot myself just from reading this post and the rest of these post. Even I think I am doing right, but this makes me ask myself some questions about if I really am eating the right amount.

I posted a question the other day to get feedback about my weight loss. The answer to mine was the same as yours. I obviously was not eating at a deficit. I too said what was on my mind and it sounded like I did not want the advice, but I quickly changed how I was wording my responses, because I appreciate EVERYONE's advice. Some people are more sensitive then others and may take written verbiage a lot differently then how it would really come out by mouth. I took everyone's advice from my post and I am using it as we speak. If I have this many people telling me the same thing, then who is right?! Me or them? I think weight loss and all that comes with it is new for anyone until you have gone through it. Take the advice and run with it. Give it a try and if it doesn't work than you know you need an actual nutritionist or dietician's advice. Good luck OP!

It's sounds like you're going to be successful. Good luck. :flowerforyou:

Thank you!! All of you really do help. You just have to take all the advice and the criticism

Cathalain

According to a lot of people in this thread I'm a big loser.

I don't think that at all.

My mother is a WHOLE other ball of wax none of you want to get into...and yes, she is the reason for a LOT of my problems.

As the daughter of a mother who is NPD (narcissistic personality disordered), I can tell you that I completely and TOTALLY relate to the above. Living with an NPD mother is an exquisite cruelty in itself. I was diagnosed with MDD, a major mental illness, and believe me, it's taken years to repair the damage she's caused. I'm not sure I'll EVER fully recover. What's worse? I have to care for her, just as you're caring for yours. So, yeah - I get it. I totally get it.

Gently, I think that people are just asking you to consider what they're saying, that's all. What you're doing right now isn't working for you, right? What's the harm in changing it up a little? Lots of suggestions here, all good ones. Or, you could just take a break for a while. You're not gaining weight, so it wouldn't hurt to maybe concentrate on the other things that are bothering you right now.

I'm working full-time in law enforcement (a VERY demanding job), half-time in grad school, I'm taking care of this woman that gave birth to me, I'm busy too. Believe me, I know how you're feeling. It's tough when you have all these responsibilities and what feels like no time.

But, honestly. No one here has called you a loser. I'll bet you any amount you like that no one here even THINKS it. What I do think is that a lot of people care - or we wouldn't have responded to your thread in the first place, right?

Just something to think about.

You can add me if you want to. Like I said - going through a lot of the same things you are.

_HeartsOnFire_

Oh brother...

Accountability = Nonextistent.

Open your diary. I know you already posted a two day snapshot of your eating habits with no weights.

Oh but the people she perceived were rude to her will be rude to her so she's not opening it.

Because of the snarky comments a few folks have made, I'm not going to open it.

I don't want one of the rudies to make fun of me when there's a jelly bean or something.

I had a health instructor once tell me I should eat two slices of pizza a year.

No one was rude to you.

WBB55

I haven't bought a fitbit because I think they're excessively priced.

So the answer is no, you can't buy a FitBit.

Next question:
Can you change the way you log all of your food, so if the label says 100 calories, you put 133 in your log?

I think that's an excellent idea.

Sounds good. Do that. Then come back in 4 weeks and tell us how you're doing, ok? We'll want to know how things are going with your health and your mom.

Ok?

jofjltncb6

I haven't bought a fitbit because I think they're excessively priced.

So the answer is no, you can't buy a FitBit.

Next question:
Can you change the way you log all of your food, so if the label says 100 calories, you put 133 in your log?

Whoa, time out here. I read her answer entirely differently. What I heard is that she doesn't believe they provide enough benefit to justify the cost. While everyone's CBA differs on the value, this may be $100 well spent especially in this case. Now if she *can't* buy one for whatever reason, then they certainly aren't *necessary*...but I have heard many experiences where a fitbit (or similar device) was the impetus to make a meaningful change.

All that said, until OP figures out her food tracking, having better insight into her calorie burns/activity level will likely be entirely meaningless.

_HeartsOnFire_

I haven't bought a fitbit because I think they're excessively priced.

So the answer is no, you can't buy a FitBit.

Next question:
Can you change the way you log all of your food, so if the label says 100 calories, you put 133 in your log?

Whoa, time out here. I read her answer entirely differently. What I heard is that she doesn't believe they provide enough benefit to justify the cost. While everyone's CBA differs on the value, this may be $100 well spent especially in this case. Now if she *can't* buy one for whatever reason, then they certainly aren't *necessary*...but I have heard many experiences where a fitbit (or similar device) was the impetus to make a meaningful change.

All that said, until OP figures out her food tracking, having better insight into her calorie burns/activity level will likely be entirely meaningless.

I love my fitbit. I just nerded it up making a spreadsheet and a friend enhanced it, so we can get a pretty good idea on what our TDEE is.

sunshinesoprano

-You are not using a scale, therefore you dont know how many calories you are eating.

-You are eating too little and avoiding fat for your weight which can slow down your metabolism and *kitten* your hormones up.

-Work out 4 times a week.

Good luck.

Thank you

DamePiglet

This is very entertaining. And very very sad.

haven't read the thread, but i strongly suspect this.

sunshinesoprano

This is very entertaining. And very very sad.

haven't read the thread, but i strongly suspect this.

\

If you don't have anything nice to say...

WinoGelato

Oh brother...

Accountability = Nonextistent.

Open your diary. I know you already posted a two day snapshot of your eating habits with no weights.

Oh but the people she perceived were rude to her will be rude to her so she's not opening it.

Because of the snarky comments a few folks have made, I'm not going to open it.

I don't want one of the rudies to make fun of me when there's a jelly bean or something.

I had a health instructor once tell me I should eat two slices of pizza a year.

Have you ever thought about going out and looking at the diaries of people who are suggesting to you that you open your diary? Most of the people on here, the ones who have had success and who weigh/measure their food eat plenty of things like pizza and jelly beans. And I'm not even talking about people with 3000 calorie allowances each day - plenty of people netting 1700/day manage to fit in things like ice cream. You know how they do it? They plan their days. They weigh their food. There's a whole thread about eating gelato every single day for 30 days and let me tell you, these people are weighing that gelato. They aren't trusting that 1/2 cup = 210 calories just because that's what Talenti puts on their awesome packaging...

WBB55

I haven't bought a fitbit because I think they're excessively priced.

So the answer is no, you can't buy a FitBit.

Whoa, time out here. I read her answer entirely differently. What I heard is that she doesn't believe they provide enough benefit to justify the cost.

Perhaps I should edit it to say "So the answer is no, you WON'T buy a FitBit." OP isn't in a good place right now. I'm trying to find out what she really is able and willing to do. She's very upset and the tiniest criticism sends her into a self-loathing spiral where she imagines people hate her. She doesn't HAVE to buy a FitBit. I just made a suggestion. She doesn't feel like it's something she needs, so I moved onto my next suggestion.

sunshinesoprano

I am about to get off this website for the day and go get my car serviced.

I do sincerely thank all of you who made helpful suggestions and I am going to think about them.

I do ask some of you to go back and read your posts and see how they might be perceived by someone who struggles. All caps words and "You can't be doings" and "You aren't doing this" and so forth and then the snarky random posts by people who just wanted to be nasty all ran together.

I know most of you were legitimately trying to help and I understand. I need to make time to do things differently. Sometimes I do well to get my workouts in.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone as that certainly wasn't my intent.

albayin

Is there anything more to say on each side? Why does this thread still grow? Seriously people, OP has her own problems but those who keep going on and on and insist on giving more "advice" when it's clearly already given and no more needed...

Peace~

bekahlou75

My Fitbit One is a great motivator. I clip to my bra and go. You can calculate your TDEE with it too. It really helps because mentally you want to move so you reach whatever goal you have set on there. I like the adding calories suggestion. You can make it real easy and round up to an even number.

_HeartsOnFire_

Oh brother...

Accountability = Nonextistent.

Open your diary. I know you already posted a two day snapshot of your eating habits with no weights.

Oh but the people she perceived were rude to her will be rude to her so she's not opening it.

Because of the snarky comments a few folks have made, I'm not going to open it.

I don't want one of the rudies to make fun of me when there's a jelly bean or something.

I had a health instructor once tell me I should eat two slices of pizza a year.

Have you ever thought about going out and looking at the diaries of people who are suggesting to you that you open your diary? Most of the people on here, the ones who have had success and who weigh/measure their food eat plenty of things like pizza and jelly beans. And I'm not even talking about people with 3000 calorie allowances each day - plenty of people netting 1700/day manage to fit in things like ice cream. You know how they do it? They plan their days. They weigh their food. There's a whole thread about eating gelato every single day for 30 days and let me tell you, these people are weighing that gelato. They aren't trusting that 1/2 cup = 210 calories just because that's what Talenti puts on their awesome packaging...

My diary is open. Yesterday I pigged out, had 1.5 cupcakes. Feel free to browse my diary. I am losing weight. I eat gelato. I eat what some people call "junk"...I don't believe there is any good/bad food, only bad eating habits.

firstsip

I am about to get off this website for the day and go get my car serviced.

I do sincerely thank all of you who made helpful suggestions and I am going to think about them.

I do ask some of you to go back and read your posts and see how they might be perceived by someone who struggles. All caps words and "You can't be doings" and "You aren't doing this" and so forth and then the snarky random posts by people who just wanted to be nasty all ran together.

I know most of you were legitimately trying to help and I understand. I need to make time to do things differently. Sometimes I do well to get my workouts in.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone as that certainly wasn't my intent.

You are responsible for how you perceive the world. Others are under no obligation to lie to you or say things a certain way because of what you may or may not be dealing with. As for the "You aren't doing this"... you weren't doing things? You weren't measuring; it's not being negative to point out that that's an issue!

Again, see a therapist; CBT, in particular, is a great technique for issues with perception, how we see ourselves, bad "mental" habits, etc.

http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Inform_Yourself/About_Mental_Illness/About_Treatments_and_Supports/Cognitive_Behavioral_Therapy1.htm

There's a link on there to find CBT therapists in your area.Good luck.

auddii

I haven't bought a fitbit because I think they're excessively priced.

So the answer is no, you can't buy a FitBit.

Next question:
Can you change the way you log all of your food, so if the label says 100 calories, you put 133 in your log?

Whoa, time out here. I read her answer entirely differently. What I heard is that she doesn't believe they provide enough benefit to justify the cost. While everyone's CBA differs on the value, this may be $100 well spent especially in this case. Now if she *can't* buy one for whatever reason, then they certainly aren't *necessary*...but I have heard many experiences where a fitbit (or similar device) was the impetus to make a meaningful change.

All that said, until OP figures out her food tracking, having better insight into her calorie burns/activity level will likely be entirely meaningless.

I had not been losing as consistently as I wanted, and so my friend suggested I try to increase my activity throughout the day. Simple things. My work gave us all pedometers, and even that low tech gadget has been eye opening. They cost $5-10. It's nothing fancy and doesn't give you calories burned, but it can give you an idea of how active/sedentary you are. Plus, I find myself wanting to add in more steps here and there. I've taken to wandering around my condo while brushing my teeth. Or going to the kitchen at work to start warming up food, then walking back to my desk for my glass of water that needs filling. It can be motivational even without providing some more data that the fancier devices do. It's actually kind of strange how that works.

WinoGelato

Oh brother...

Accountability = Nonextistent.

Open your diary. I know you already posted a two day snapshot of your eating habits with no weights.

Oh but the people she perceived were rude to her will be rude to her so she's not opening it.

Because of the snarky comments a few folks have made, I'm not going to open it.

I don't want one of the rudies to make fun of me when there's a jelly bean or something.

I had a health instructor once tell me I should eat two slices of pizza a year.

Have you ever thought about going out and looking at the diaries of people who are suggesting to you that you open your diary? Most of the people on here, the ones who have had success and who weigh/measure their food eat plenty of things like pizza and jelly beans. And I'm not even talking about people with 3000 calorie allowances each day - plenty of people netting 1700/day manage to fit in things like ice cream. You know how they do it? They plan their days. They weigh their food. There's a whole thread about eating gelato every single day for 30 days and let me tell you, these people are weighing that gelato. They aren't trusting that 1/2 cup = 210 calories just because that's what Talenti puts on their awesome packaging...

My diary is open. Yesterday I pigged out, had 1.5 cupcakes. Feel free to browse my diary. I am losing weight. I eat gelato. I eat what some people call "junk"...I don't believe there is any good/bad food, only bad eating habits.

Yum that looks like a really delicious day!

_HeartsOnFire_

I haven't bought a fitbit because I think they're excessively priced.

So the answer is no, you can't buy a FitBit.

Next question:
Can you change the way you log all of your food, so if the label says 100 calories, you put 133 in your log?

Whoa, time out here. I read her answer entirely differently. What I heard is that she doesn't believe they provide enough benefit to justify the cost. While everyone's CBA differs on the value, this may be $100 well spent especially in this case. Now if she *can't* buy one for whatever reason, then they certainly aren't *necessary*...but I have heard many experiences where a fitbit (or similar device) was the impetus to make a meaningful change.

All that said, until OP figures out her food tracking, having better insight into her calorie burns/activity level will likely be entirely meaningless.

I had not been losing as consistently as I wanted, and so my friend suggested I try to increase my activity throughout the day. Simple things. My work gave us all pedometers, and even that low tech gadget has been eye opening. They cost $5-10. It's nothing fancy and doesn't give you calories burned, but it can give you an idea of how active/sedentary you are. Plus, I find myself wanting to add in more steps here and there. I've taken to wandering around my condo while brushing my teeth. Or going to the kitchen at work to start warming up food, then walking back to my desk for my glass of water that needs filling. It can be motivational even without providing some more data that the fancier devices do. It's actually kind of strange how that works.

I like on Fitbit you can add friends, and I have a few MFP friends and my sister on there. I like kicking their a$$es in steps. I love it motivates me to walk more.