Any child free peeps on MFP?
Replies
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I think it's great that people who don't want to have kids (for whatever reason) don't. It's not for everyone. And some people make the choice because of how they feel about the course of the world/planet.
thank you. :flowerforyou:
I actually think my husband and I would make pretty great parents. We love kids and babies. But, we love our lifestyle as it is, and we also have no desire to contribute further to the overpopulation of a planet that is rapidly going downhill. Not to mention that we don't want to be 60 or 65 and having a child graduating from college...or worse, high school. So we will not be having any children.
:flowerforyou:
Edit: my husband is a physicist developing an alternative energy form. So, hoping we will help balance things out with that.0 -
No kids!
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I do not and cannot have children but I do have a passport.0
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It's kind of amazing how these threads always turn ugly.0
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I can tell you that I am about to be kid free after I throw them all off a cliff......if I trip over THIS F#CKING TOY ONE MORE TIME.0
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Whether it's a question of "to breed or not to breed," or anything else in life, make your own decisions and be happy with them. The only destiny you can control is your own. By that same token, there is no point in trying to force your own decisions and definition of happiness onto someone else. There is no universal definition at work here. Some people do not want children. Some do. Some people want to be doctors. Others want to be office workers. Still others want to be personal trainers.
We're all standing in a room with differently shaped pegs trying to fit them into the correct holes. The person right next to you might have gotten their peg to fit in a given hole, but that doesn't mean yours will too.
I agree0 -
Nope not having kids...:-) Practice is good though lol!0
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I'm child-free, very happily child-free. I plan on remaining that way.
I used to get a lot of people telling me I would change my mind, mostly the old ladies at church. Not so much now that I am in my 30's. I have 2 nephews and another mystery due in about a month- I have plenty of children in my life and they all go home to their own beds! Nephew #2 is almost out of diapers so in 6 months or so we will probably start having "dates" like I used to with the one who is now 8yr old. I do not do diapers!
If I were to meet Mr. Right- providing he exists- its a conversation I would be willing to have but it would take some pretty convincing discussion. He'd have to be on board with changing all the diapers and doing the midnight feedings...and being the stay at home parent.
Honestly, I am happy with who I am and with my life. I have no regrets. Sometimes I wonder if I will regret never having kids when I am ready to go into a home, but I doubt it. Mostly I wonder because I am watching my elderly single (divorced), childless uncle struggle with the concept of having no family to comfort him in his old age- but he also never made any effort to live a full life or build a social support system so its his own fault. 0 -
Close, but not quite. My daughter lives a world away so she only spends 2 months each summer with me. Beyond that I'm flying solo and have to resort to assigning my friends chores to do.
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I'm an atheist and I get people coming to my door trying to convert me to their religion. Whatever choices we make in life, there are going to be people that judge or don't understand. That's life. We learn to deal with it. And it doesn't mean all theists want to convert me or think I'm going to hell.0
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I think that child free people seem hostile and angry (based solely on this post).
This post is stressing me out far worse than my child does when he is acting up.
Not here to argue, just stating how I interpreted the replies in here by those who don't seem to appreciate comments by people with children. To people who have children, being "child free" can simply mean a trip to the grocery store alone. I see that the OP was edited to clarify so many responses probably came in before she did that.
i think that a lot of what you see is maybe more of a knee-jerk reaction from a lot of us. some of this in here was genuine "no, the term means this". but every person who makes this choice is told the SAME things by society over and over and over and OVER. and it does grate, and it can make us a little quicker to defend. b/c we're so used to having to do that.
Not trying to argue (truly not, trust me), but I sometimes have a hard time believing that people who choose to be "different", whether it be child-free, vegan, paleo, etc. and complain about having to deal with "society at large" really do hate it. They never seem to get sick of posting repeatedly about the same damn thing. Over and over. Like "hey look at me I choose this lifestyle, aren't I special and unique!!" No one cares. And I don't feel bad if you have to defend it over and over again. The reason people don't memorize all of your labels and terms and special definitions is because it's your issue and no one else gives it any thought. But some of you seem to be so consumed by your own labels that it's all you talk about. Congrats you have no kids, what are you doing with all of your spare time? Oh... I see... you're posting on MFP about it.... every day.
OK... seriously... that was awesome! *slow clapping for Ms Maple*
When I was like 15 I thought I'd never want kids... but then I grew up and got over my issues. I don't have any yet but I am very open to the idea.
I think a chunk of so called "Child Free" people are dealing with issues and haven't really made a clear headed conscious decision but I'm sure others have genuinely chosen that path without "issues" being behind it (and more power to them if that is what they really want).
I would imagine the more vehemently one espouses, defends, pushes labels for, argues semantics regarding, being "Child Free" the more likely it is they are suffering from the former and have not gotten there via the latter.
:drinker:0 -
Whether it's a question of "to breed or not to breed," or anything else in life, make your own decisions and be happy with them. The only destiny you can control is your own. By that same token, there is no point in trying to force your own decisions and definition of happiness onto someone else. There is no universal definition at work here. Some people do not want children. Some do. Some people want to be doctors. Others want to be office workers. Still others want to be personal trainers.
We're all standing in a room with differently shaped pegs trying to fit them into the correct holes. The person right next to you might have gotten their peg to fit in a given hole, but that doesn't mean yours will too.
+1
It really is this simple.0 -
I think that child free people seem hostile and angry (based solely on this post).
This post is stressing me out far worse than my child does when he is acting up.
Not here to argue, just stating how I interpreted the replies in here by those who don't seem to appreciate comments by people with children. To people who have children, being "child free" can simply mean a trip to the grocery store alone. I see that the OP was edited to clarify so many responses probably came in before she did that.
i think that a lot of what you see is maybe more of a knee-jerk reaction from a lot of us. some of this in here was genuine "no, the term means this". but every person who makes this choice is told the SAME things by society over and over and over and OVER. and it does grate, and it can make us a little quicker to defend. b/c we're so used to having to do that.
Not trying to argue (truly not, trust me), but I sometimes have a hard time believing that people who choose to be "different", whether it be child-free, vegan, paleo, etc. and complain about having to deal with "society at large" really do hate it. They never seem to get sick of posting repeatedly about the same damn thing. Over and over. Like "hey look at me I choose this lifestyle, aren't I special and unique!!" No one cares. And I don't feel bad if you have to defend it over and over again. The reason people don't memorize all of your labels and terms and special definitions is because it's your issue and no one else gives it any thought. But some of you seem to be so consumed by your own labels that it's all you talk about. Congrats you have no kids, what are you doing with all of your spare time? Oh... I see... you're posting on MFP about it.... every day.
Wow....what threads are you reading ? In something like 380 days on MFP for me this is the first thread that deals with the subject.....so, where are all those Child Free people that go on about the " same damn thing " and on every day ?
At least one woman in this thread regularly brings up the fact that she's not having kids. And yeah, when you start calling it "child free" and get bent when someone who can't have kids, has grown children, or is waiting to have kids uses the two words together, it does seem trendy and really effing annoying. Before the "child free" movement, child free meant people who can't have kids, haven't had them yet, don't want them at all, got a sitter so they could go on a date, or their kids are off at college, etc. Now there's this group of women (I never see child free men getting butthurt if someone else uses the term) who've turned it into a movement and they're often angry, throwing around words like breeders and crotch fruit.0 -
Yup - but obviously I'll change my mind (ask anyone they've told me often enough since I was 19 years old).:huh:
Right? I got married which undoubtedly meant that children will soon come after. Um...no. And I don't understand why it's unbelievable that a person or couple opt-out of parenting? Why is that so hard to believe? Never understood the mindset of some.
Just thought I'd answer this question ^^ because I see it crop up so often from child-free people:
Because for parents, it's unfathomable to imagine happiness without a sweet bundle in your arms. No judgement, of course. Some people just aren't cut out to be parents and that's perfectly ok.
But you need to understand that you are opting out of something that brings millions of people the most indescribable joy and life satisfaction. For someone to actively choose to pass that up is mind boggling. And for us THAT is what is hard to understand. I respect the choice and defend your right to have it, but I will never, ever understand it.
Hope that opens up some understanding. :flowerforyou:
It's really not "unfathomable" for me that some people do not want children. I understand it completely. Doesn't boggle my mind at all.
It's not unfathomable to me and it doesn't boggle my mind either.
Same here. Babies do not give you love. Babies give you stink, spit-up, diapers, unending demands, huge expense. I've spent time with babies and toddlers, and not one second of it was enjoyable. I wish we could go straight to teenagers and skip the little kid stage.0 -
None here, never will be.0
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Add me in to the child free population. I don't dislike them, but they have to go away at night. I love being an aunt, I'll coo over people's kids' pics on Facebook, but love not being responsible for anyone but myself. Hate the stigma attached with the choice (ironically I work in a delivery room) and the fact that I'm single. I don't like girls and just never really felt I could sacrifice all you have to of yourself when you become a parent.
Nice to see others out there.0 -
I forget, are we The Judean People's Front or The People's Front of Judea?0
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I'm an atheist and I get people coming to my door trying to convert me to their religion. Whatever choices we make in life, there are going to be people that judge or don't understand. That's life. We learn to deal with it. And it doesn't mean all theists want to convert me or think I'm going to hell.
This is a good comparison. I'm agnostic. I don't run around ranting about being agnostic all the time. And I don't run around talking about people who believe in a god(s) as fairy tale believers or something equally effing rude.0 -
I like the art of breeding. I make it a point to breed often... sometimes four or five times a week.
I don't think it actually counts as "breeding" unless your produce offspring. You are "practice breeding" since we are being very serious about our definitions today.
Hump hump hump!0 -
Yup - but obviously I'll change my mind (ask anyone they've told me often enough since I was 19 years old).:huh:
Right? I got married which undoubtedly meant that children will soon come after. Um...no. And I don't understand why it's unbelievable that a person or couple opt-out of parenting? Why is that so hard to believe? Never understood the mindset of some.
Just thought I'd answer this question ^^ because I see it crop up so often from child-free people:
Because for parents, it's unfathomable to imagine happiness without a sweet bundle in your arms. No judgement, of course. Some people just aren't cut out to be parents and that's perfectly ok.
But you need to understand that you are opting out of something that brings millions of people the most indescribable joy and life satisfaction. For someone to actively choose to pass that up is mind boggling. And for us THAT is what is hard to understand. I respect the choice and defend your right to have it, but I will never, ever understand it.
Hope that opens up some understanding. :flowerforyou:
It's really not "unfathomable" for me that some people do not want children. I understand it completely. Doesn't boggle my mind at all.
It's not unfathomable to me and it doesn't boggle my mind either.
Same here. Babies do not give you love. Babies give you stink, spit-up, diapers, unending demands, huge expense. I've spent time with babies and toddlers, and not one second of it was enjoyable.
Really? My two kids both give me plenty of love and did so even when they were babies. Clutching my finger, falling asleep on my chest, even just smiling at me. Those are some of the ways that babies express love for and comfort around whoever they are with. But they are also mirrors of what they receive. So, if you didn't get any enjoyment around babies and toddlers, I can pretty much guarantee they were happy when the door shut behind you as well.0 -
Yup - but obviously I'll change my mind (ask anyone they've told me often enough since I was 19 years old).:huh:
Right? I got married which undoubtedly meant that children will soon come after. Um...no. And I don't understand why it's unbelievable that a person or couple opt-out of parenting? Why is that so hard to believe? Never understood the mindset of some.
Just thought I'd answer this question ^^ because I see it crop up so often from child-free people:
Because for parents, it's unfathomable to imagine happiness without a sweet bundle in your arms. No judgement, of course. Some people just aren't cut out to be parents and that's perfectly ok.
But you need to understand that you are opting out of something that brings millions of people the most indescribable joy and life satisfaction. For someone to actively choose to pass that up is mind boggling. And for us THAT is what is hard to understand. I respect the choice and defend your right to have it, but I will never, ever understand it.
Hope that opens up some understanding. :flowerforyou:
It's really not "unfathomable" for me that some people do not want children. I understand it completely. Doesn't boggle my mind at all.
It's not unfathomable to me and it doesn't boggle my mind either.
Same here. Babies do not give you love. Babies give you stink, spit-up, diapers, unending demands, huge expense. I've spent time with babies and toddlers, and not one second of it was enjoyable.
We meant that it doesn't boggle our mind that some people don't want to be parents (for many different reasons), and that some people don't even like being around kids (a separate thing because some people like kids, but still don't want to be a parent). Even though, I have two, and I have always really enjoyed being around kids and teach dance to kids because I like kids. But, I can understand why some people don't and why some people don't want to be parents.
Edit to add: There are also people that have kids and don't like kids. That happens also.0 -
Yup - but obviously I'll change my mind (ask anyone they've told me often enough since I was 19 years old).:huh:
Right? I got married which undoubtedly meant that children will soon come after. Um...no. And I don't understand why it's unbelievable that a person or couple opt-out of parenting? Why is that so hard to believe? Never understood the mindset of some.
Just thought I'd answer this question ^^ because I see it crop up so often from child-free people:
Because for parents, it's unfathomable to imagine happiness without a sweet bundle in your arms. No judgement, of course. Some people just aren't cut out to be parents and that's perfectly ok.
But you need to understand that you are opting out of something that brings millions of people the most indescribable joy and life satisfaction. For someone to actively choose to pass that up is mind boggling. And for us THAT is what is hard to understand. I respect the choice and defend your right to have it, but I will never, ever understand it.
Hope that opens up some understanding. :flowerforyou:
It's really not "unfathomable" for me that some people do not want children. I understand it completely. Doesn't boggle my mind at all.
It's not unfathomable to me and it doesn't boggle my mind either.
Same here. Babies do not give you love. Babies give you stink, spit-up, diapers, unending demands, huge expense. I've spent time with babies and toddlers, and not one second of it was enjoyable.
Really? My two kids both give me plenty of love and did so even when they were babies. Clutching my finger, falling asleep on my chest, even just smiling at me. Those are some of the ways that babies express love for and comfort around whoever they are with. But they are also mirrors of what they receive. So, if you didn't get any enjoyment around babies and toddlers, I can pretty much guarantee they were happy when the door shut behind you as well.
Ding, ding ding!0 -
Right now, I'm considering living an adult free life.0
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Right now, I'm considering living an adult free life.
They do tend to get fussy over the silliest things, don't they?
:laugh:0 -
I suggest you jump ship on this thread and join the private Child Free by Choice group. It's much easier to discuss our decision there without parents barging in to tell us what we're missing/what they consider to be child free/etc. I really don't care what you decide to call it, but if that's your definition and that is the topic you want to discuss, the group is a great place to go.0
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Right now, I'm considering living an adult free life.
You win the internet today my dear0 -
me! theyre all grown up ha0
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Wow. It's amazing what folks here will find argue about. :frown:0
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Right now, I'm considering living an adult free life.
You absolutely win.0 -
Not really sure where I fit in now because I have been married for 23 years and have had no kids however my husband and I found out that he has a daughter from a previous relationship and didn't meet her until she was 23 years old....So where does that leave me?0
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