Any child free peeps on MFP?
Replies
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There's a massive stigma against folks who are childfree by choice, i'm on a forum for folks like that and we get trolls all the time. Even on tv they talk about it like we're freaks. I got fixed years ago. I'm having enough fun being an uncle to my friends' kids, i don't want any of my own. Not to mention the mental health issues. Modern parents and society are part of why i didn't want them either, i'll be damned if some moron parent or idiot in the schools/government tell me how to raise a kid. Bad parents are why this nation is going to crap by being friends with the kid and not parents.0
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Anybody want to go for a run?
No, but I'd love a beer.0 -
I think that child free people seem hostile and angry (based solely on this post).
This post is stressing me out far worse than my child does when he is acting up.
Not here to argue, just stating how I interpreted the replies in here by those who don't seem to appreciate comments by people with children. To people who have children, being "child free" can simply mean a trip to the grocery store alone. I see that the OP was edited to clarify so many responses probably came in before she did that.
i think that a lot of what you see is maybe more of a knee-jerk reaction from a lot of us. some of this in here was genuine "no, the term means this". but every person who makes this choice is told the SAME things by society over and over and over and OVER. and it does grate, and it can make us a little quicker to defend. b/c we're so used to having to do that.
Not trying to argue (truly not, trust me), but I sometimes have a hard time believing that people who choose to be "different", whether it be child-free, vegan, paleo, etc. and complain about having to deal with "society at large" really do hate it. They never seem to get sick of posting repeatedly about the same damn thing. Over and over. Like "hey look at me I choose this lifestyle, aren't I special and unique!!" No one cares. And I don't feel bad if you have to defend it over and over again. The reason people don't memorize all of your labels and terms and special definitions is because it's your issue and no one else gives it any thought. But some of you seem to be so consumed by your own labels that it's all you talk about. Congrats you have no kids, what are you doing with all of your spare time? Oh... I see... you're posting on MFP about it.... every day.
Wow....what threads are you reading ? In something like 380 days on MFP for me this is the first thread that deals with the subject.....so, where are all those Child Free people that go on about the " same damn thing " and on every day ?
At least one woman in this thread regularly brings up the fact that she's not having kids. And yeah, when you start calling it "child free" and get bent when someone who can't have kids, has grown children, or is waiting to have kids uses the two words together, it does seem trendy and really effing annoying. Before the "child free" movement, child free meant people who can't have kids, haven't had them yet, don't want them at all, got a sitter so they could go on a date, or their kids are off at college, etc. Now there's this group of women (I never see child free men getting butthurt if someone else uses the term) who've turned it into a movement and they're often angry, throwing around words like breeders and crotch fruit.
I planned to leave this thread behind but curiosity got the better of me. I am probably the one mentioned here who "brings up all the time" that I am not having kids and I am child free by choice. I will never make apologies for that. I am proud of my lifestyle decision and feel it's much more of a monumental choice than being say, gluten free. If my constant mentions of this bugs people, then I STRONGLY suggest they make use of the ignore feature. In fact, I am a bit disturbed that a couple of people are still reading my posts here when they're clearly not fans. When I don't like what someone has to say on a regular basis, I ignore them.
Anyway -- I needed to point out that I have NEVER used words like breeders, crotch fruit, etc. I think that's pretty tacky and disrespectful. It helps no one. I love my parents. I love my friends who are parents. I don't think it's wrong to have kids! I do think it would be wrong for me. Online forums are a wonderful place - USUALLY - to vent about this stuff and to find community. I've made a lot of childfree by choice friends online, some of them have even turned into my "real life" friends.
Last thing: I sincerely apologize if people truly didn't know about the terminology and came to this thread clueless. I've been in groups online and offline for more than a decade that center on this stuff, so I just thought that it was more widely known and that some people were being quite flippant and/or rude to suggest they are childfree when they have children or eagerly plan to do so in the future.0 -
Anybody want to go for a run?
No, but I'd love a beer.
Well, I run for beer, so could we go for a run first, then meet for beer?0 -
Same here. Babies do not give you love. Babies give you stink, spit-up, diapers, unending demands, huge expense. I've spent time with babies and toddlers, and not one second of it was enjoyable. I wish we could go straight to teenagers and skip the little kid stage.
I sincerely hope you never, ever, ever have children. In fact, maybe just stay away from all children.0 -
I'm always happy when certain people make the decision to help clean up the gene pool0
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I was CF for a long time, got fixed and everything. I tried to find places to talk about this life with others and I found that pretty much all CF people were complete and total *kitten* who were just angry individuals and went out of their way to make fun of those who have kids. When I found myself being like that I stopped associating at those places and just went about my life. After I met my new wife I decided that I finally found someone who I wanted to procreate with, got the vasectomy reversed, have one kid and one on the way. I'll never convince any of those in this thread that they should change their mind, but to anyone who has any shadow of a doubt needs to go ahead and think about it and be open minded. Kids are totally worth it, dirty diapers and all.0
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I wanted children, but could not have them.0
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I would just like to point out that before this thread I never seen anyone comment about how not wanting to be a parent is unfathomable. In fact the only time I have seen that mentioned is here by those who want to be child free. Of course though, I could just have missed all those other forums that did mention such things.0
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Nah, but seriously, if you are awesome enough to be a parent, go have you some babies! But if you don't want kids, don't have any. There are enough sh1tty parents in the world already.
+1 couldn't agree more0 -
Nah, but seriously, if you are awesome enough to be a parent, go have you some babies! But if you don't want kids, don't have any. There are enough sh1tty parents in the world already.
this sums it up perfectly.
:drinker:0 -
All my kids have 4 legs , fur & fins.
No kiddos by choice
(I babysat as a kid, I'm not stupid & my mom always said wait till you have kids of your own, I showed her, lol) :bigsmile:0 -
Their hit song Cannonball was off the chain in the early 90'sBreeders, lol.0 -
child free, like airangel, mine is furry and has a ton of fur and barks like a nut when he wants to play.
I knew from when I was like 8 I wouldn't have any. then I really didn't want any when my bestfriend got pregnant , fwoof newp not for me. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
At least one woman in this thread regularly brings up the fact that she's not having kids. And yeah, when you start calling it "child free" and get bent when someone who can't have kids, has grown children, or is waiting to have kids uses the two words together, it does seem trendy and really effing annoying. Before the "child free" movement, child free meant people who can't have kids, haven't had them yet, don't want them at all, got a sitter so they could go on a date, or their kids are off at college, etc. Now there's this group of women (I never see child free men getting butthurt if someone else uses the term) who've turned it into a movement and they're often angry, throwing around words like breeders and crotch fruit.
I planned to leave this thread behind but curiosity got the better of me. I am probably the one mentioned here who "brings up all the time" that I am not having kids and I am child free by choice. I will never make apologies for that. I am proud of my lifestyle decision and feel it's much more of a monumental choice than being say, gluten free. If my constant mentions of this bugs people, then I STRONGLY suggest they make use of the ignore feature. In fact, I am a bit disturbed that a couple of people are still reading my posts here when they're clearly not fans. When I don't like what someone has to say on a regular basis, I ignore them.
Anyway -- I needed to point out that I have NEVER used words like breeders, crotch fruit, etc. I think that's pretty tacky and disrespectful. It helps no one. I love my parents. I love my friends who are parents. I don't think it's wrong to have kids! I do think it would be wrong for me. Online forums are a wonderful place - USUALLY - to vent about this stuff and to find community. I've made a lot of childfree by choice friends online, some of them have even turned into my "real life" friends.
Last thing: I sincerely apologize if people truly didn't know about the terminology and came to this thread clueless. I've been in groups online and offline for more than a decade that center on this stuff, so I just thought that it was more widely known and that some people were being quite flippant and/or rude to suggest they are childfree when they have children or eagerly plan to do so in the future.
I apologize if you felt as though that was directed at you. I saw it mentioned in a comment on my feed that someone had brought it up repeatedly today and other occasions. I won't go back to see if it was you but I shouldn't have mentioned it since it's second hand knowledge and I'm unfamiliar with the previous context.
I honestly believe that most people DON'T associate the words child free with people who are choosing not to have children. Most people I know are tactful enough not to harass people about not having kids and probably aren't aware that it requires any level of support. I do know that strangers are pretty rude about it. I very much dislike the word childless but I suppose it's b/c I dealt with infertility and was fearful of one day having to accept being childless. People constantly asked why we didn't have kids, when we were having kids, asking why we didn't just adopt, etc. I wanted to throat punch those people. I can see how the child free wouldn't like it either.0 -
Same here. Babies do not give you love. Babies give you stink, spit-up, diapers, unending demands, huge expense. I've spent time with babies and toddlers, and not one second of it was enjoyable. I wish we could go straight to teenagers and skip the little kid stage.
I sincerely hope you never, ever, ever have children. In fact, maybe just stay away from all children.
Don't worry, that ship has sailed. I'm 65, and VERY happy with the decision I made. I like teenagers and pre-teens and get along fine with them, just refused to be around them when they are little, or give birth myself.0 -
I would just like to point out that before this thread I never seen anyone comment about how not wanting to be a parent is unfathomable. In fact the only time I have seen that mentioned is here by those who want to be child free. Of course though, I could just have missed all those other forums that did mention such things.
I can't speak for the forums here since I am newer to these parts of the internet, but IRL we hear a LOT of this nonsense from (some) people. I've been lucky to avoid most of it, and I shut down people who try to persist, but many of my friends have dealt with borderline harassment from people who just couldn't understand why a person would want to live a life without children.
Edit: I think those people are the same class of people who offer unsolicited parenting advice or constantly ask "when are you having your next one?" They're nosy [redacted]. I've found most people don't really care about the choices other people make.0 -
Nah, but seriously, if you are awesome enough to be a parent, go have you some babies! But if you don't want kids, don't have any. There are enough sh1tty parents in the world already.
this sums it up perfectly.
:drinker:
Aaaan I have faith in humanity again. Salud0 -
Happily Childfree here! :flowerforyou:
I do feel the need (though I shouldn't...) to say that I am very happy with my choices in life and do not take part in any ways to the "angry" Childfree movement.
I'm just "childfree" and happy, and I also have tons of respect for parents.0 -
OP haven't you posted this very topic before?
Uh...no? :huh:0 -
Just two dogs
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I just refuse to share my Playstation....0
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I would just like to point out that before this thread I never seen anyone comment about how not wanting to be a parent is unfathomable. In fact the only time I have seen that mentioned is here by those who want to be child free. Of course though, I could just have missed all those other forums that did mention such things.
I can't speak for the forums here since I am newer to these parts of the internet, but IRL we hear a LOT of this nonsense from (some) people. I've been lucky to avoid most of it, and I shut down people who try to persist, but many of my friends have dealt with borderline harassment from people who just couldn't understand why a person would want to live a life without children.
Edit: I think those people are the same class of people who offer unsolicited parenting advice or constantly ask "when are you having your next one?" They're nosy [redacted]. I've found most people don't really care about the choices other people make.
Well, I am a parent and very happy with my decision to not be childfree and that's precisely why I haven't heard the stigma from others because I have a child, therefore they probably don't feel the need to preach procreation to keep the human species going lol. However, I seriously am happy that some choose not to have children, I applaud them for knowing before they bring an innocent child into the world, that they just wouldn't want that. What I don't like is those child free people who feel the need to say they feel sorry for those who have kids or make fun of someone's choice to have a child. I have heard the "when are you going to have your next one" or "your daughter is how old? Don't you think you should be trying for another one soon? You don't want her to be the only child she won't have anyone to play with and if you have another one you don't want them to be too many years apart". Just like those who are honest enough to say they are too selfish with their time to have children, I am too selfish with the extra time that I have to myself with one child to have another one before my first is in school. I want one child at home at a time and the other in school. I don't have the money to pay for daycare for two children or the time to be taking care of two while I am in school. I balance my school and parenting perfectly well now and I feel it's what I can handle. And it's no one's business when I decide to have another one, it's no one's business if someone decides not to have any but it is also no one's business if someone does decide to not be child free.0 -
There are quite enough idiots in the world already0
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I think that child free people seem hostile and angry (based solely on this post).
This post is stressing me out far worse than my child does when he is acting up.
Not here to argue, just stating how I interpreted the replies in here by those who don't seem to appreciate comments by people with children. To people who have children, being "child free" can simply mean a trip to the grocery store alone. I see that the OP was edited to clarify so many responses probably came in before she did that.
i think that a lot of what you see is maybe more of a knee-jerk reaction from a lot of us. some of this in here was genuine "no, the term means this". but every person who makes this choice is told the SAME things by society over and over and over and OVER. and it does grate, and it can make us a little quicker to defend. b/c we're so used to having to do that.
Not trying to argue (truly not, trust me), but I sometimes have a hard time believing that people who choose to be "different", whether it be child-free, vegan, paleo, etc. and complain about having to deal with "society at large" really do hate it. They never seem to get sick of posting repeatedly about the same damn thing. Over and over. Like "hey look at me I choose this lifestyle, aren't I special and unique!!" No one cares. And I don't feel bad if you have to defend it over and over again. The reason people don't memorize all of your labels and terms and special definitions is because it's your issue and no one else gives it any thought. But some of you seem to be so consumed by your own labels that it's all you talk about. Congrats you have no kids, what are you doing with all of your spare time? Oh... I see... you're posting on MFP about it.... every day.
Wow....what threads are you reading ? In something like 380 days on MFP for me this is the first thread that deals with the subject.....so, where are all those Child Free people that go on about the " same damn thing " and on every day ?
At least one woman in this thread regularly brings up the fact that she's not having kids. And yeah, when you start calling it "child free" and get bent when someone who can't have kids, has grown children, or is waiting to have kids uses the two words together, it does seem trendy and really effing annoying. Before the "child free" movement, child free meant people who can't have kids, haven't had them yet, don't want them at all, got a sitter so they could go on a date, or their kids are off at college, etc. Now there's this group of women (I never see child free men getting butthurt if someone else uses the term) who've turned it into a movement and they're often angry, throwing around words like breeders and crotch fruit.
I planned to leave this thread behind but curiosity got the better of me. I am probably the one mentioned here who "brings up all the time" that I am not having kids and I am child free by choice. I will never make apologies for that. I am proud of my lifestyle decision and feel it's much more of a monumental choice than being say, gluten free. If my constant mentions of this bugs people, then I STRONGLY suggest they make use of the ignore feature. In fact, I am a bit disturbed that a couple of people are still reading my posts here when they're clearly not fans. When I don't like what someone has to say on a regular basis, I ignore them.
Anyway -- I needed to point out that I have NEVER used words like breeders, crotch fruit, etc. I think that's pretty tacky and disrespectful. It helps no one. I love my parents. I love my friends who are parents. I don't think it's wrong to have kids! I do think it would be wrong for me. Online forums are a wonderful place - USUALLY - to vent about this stuff and to find community. I've made a lot of childfree by choice friends online, some of them have even turned into my "real life" friends.
Last thing: I sincerely apologize if people truly didn't know about the terminology and came to this thread clueless. I've been in groups online and offline for more than a decade that center on this stuff, so I just thought that it was more widely known and that some people were being quite flippant and/or rude to suggest they are childfree when they have children or eagerly plan to do so in the future.
I just want to say that I think you have always been very respectful in the way you have discussed your child free choice.
Yeah, I learned about the different terminology today.0 -
I can't have kids, but I've wanted to adopt ever since I could remember. Does that count ?0
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I can't have kids, but I've wanted to adopt ever since I could remember. Does that count ?
Apparently not.0 -
If you're stressed out by childfree individuals eye-rolling at parents or someday-parents responding to this post, think of how stressful it is for some childfree individuals to hear over and over and over (and over) again:
1. You will change your mind.
2. It's different when it's your own.
3. You should be a parent because ____.
4. You are not a real woman until you have a baby.
5. You do not understand tired/hard work/life/anything until you become a mother.
6. You must be selfish.
7. You are a terrible human being.
8. Who will take care of you when you grow old?
etc.
etc.
etc.
(P.S. I am neither angry nor hostile!)
Hearing variations of this, caused an automatic response like this:I'm not Childless, I am Child Free.
No, I'm not selfish. No, I won't grow to regret my decisions. Yes, I am happy and living a fulfilled life. I hate the stigma that comes with being a child free woman...I can be more in this world than just being someone's mother!
Here's a great video about being Child Free, and why the rest of the world needs to get over it!
http://www.upworthy.com/got-relatives-who-think-you-should-have-had-a-baby-by-now-heres-a-video-worth-sharing-with-them?c=ufb1
However, I'm not angry like most people seem to be assuming that child free women are -- and I honesty didn't know it was a movement. I just never really wanted to have kids, I'd much rather pursue other opportunities in life that may be hindered by having children. For those people who have children, that's wonderful for you and I'm glad you made those decisions that made you happiest.0 -
No kiddos here! Not adverse to them, just haven't met the right lady for the job. :laugh:0
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I never knew this was such an issue.0
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