how would you feel?
Replies
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If I read right, OP pushed drunk husband and he pushed her back. Not an ideal situation, but certainly not bad enough to write the guy off for. Not domestic abuse. Hate it when people jump to conclusions.
Really? Wanna show me the part where she said she pushed him, much less pushed him first?
Since you hate people jumping to conclusions and all...
I think that would be this part:In saying that I was kinda trying to usher him out of the room because he woke the kids up raising his voice and was scaring them. So I may have nudged a little harder then I rrealised and he pushed back but still........
so you condone his pushing her hard enough to fall, or are you just pointing it out?
a "nudge a litter harder than realized" does NOT justify a push hard enough to make his pregnant wife fall (nothing really does).
he probably lost his balance because he was drunk. dudes a total loser 110%.
Just pointing out that the bicep up there was incorrect.
Not in the slightest, but whatever dude
But I pointed out the part where she said she pushed him, much more where she said she pushed him first.0 -
Let me know when we're done making excuses for the drunk who knocks down his pregnant wife and heads to the titty bar.
Heads to the titty bar, comes home, and knocks down his wife. Jesus, are you even paying attention to this?0 -
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being insecure or not liking that a spouse went to a strip club. There's many people in many relationships who don't find that appropriate. While you can't give permission for him to do or not do something, make sure he knows how it made you feel when he broke that promise. It's less about permission and more about respect.
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Just realized there's some pushing and drunk shoving going on in this story now. I really need to read the entire thread.
I love my nerd.
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who knows. MFP is a mixed bag.the club and the hair are the last of your worries. If he's resorted to violence get out.
It sounds like this isn't healthy for either of you.
Take care.
so... your troll senses aren't tingling? Mine are buzzing like a live wire...
true.dat
this one though, feels faker then a set of fakies. It's coming across to me as dirty play that's making light of people who do have to live through that.
I dunno; OP's posted before. She's been on here for 2+ years. That's a pretty long con for this type of trolling.
In your defense, the gradual reveal of more and more details to keep the topic going made me pause, but I do think it could be because OP truly didn't see the being pushed as big of an issue as *we* did.
Length of time as a user doesn't mean anything when it comes to trolling. However, the slowly added deets, and the soft details just read as fake.
If it's legit, she knows what she has to do. If it's fake, she just ran a good game on folks. Having worked as a DVERT counselor before and having heard a lot of things *like* this, makes me think it's a little too contrived. Then again, I'm made of jade.0 -
But I pointed out the part where she said she pushed him, much more where she said she pushed him first.
Even if she hit him, it doesn't give him call to go World Star Hip Hop on her, since she is pregnant and he's drunk. (If it happened)0 -
I know this could seem like trolling its a pretty crazy story! I'm actually still laying here myself thinking wtf happened.. I don't blame you for not believing me. But here I am laying on my daughter's fold out sofa in her room while he's sleeping comfortably in our bed :-/
Again I'm not trying to excuse his behaviour. But I genuinely do love this guy and this has never really happened before. So I'm willing to lead him 'plead' his case to me. There may be something a little more going on with him I didn't realise, who knows. But I am going to let him know it's not ok my any means and how serious it really could have been.0 -
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Let me know when we're done making excuses for the drunk who knocks down his pregnant wife and heads to the titty bar.
Heads to the titty bar, comes home, and knocks down his wife. Jesus, are you even paying attention to this?
You should stop posting.
you should learn how to follow a storyline0 -
Well I would never specifically ask him not to.
However you did. You being pregnant has little impact on the situation. If you asked him not to and he agreed then did anyway, then there's a serious trust issue (not with the strippers but with honesty). I'd suggest some serious conversation and possibly counseling.
**ETA: I only read the OP...0 -
I know this could seem like trolling its a pretty crazy story! I'm actually still laying here myself thinking wtf happened.. I don't blame you for not believing me. But here I am laying on my daughter's fold out sofa in her room while he's sleeping comfortably in our bed :-/
Again I'm not trying to excuse his behaviour. But I genuinely do love this guy and this has never really happened before. So I'm willing to lead him 'plead' his case to me. There may be something a little more going on with him I didn't realise, who knows. But I am going to let him know it's not ok my any means and how serious it really could have been.
Yeah, I'll be honest, I totally don't believe you.
However, here is the two finger double of it.
The fun bar isn't a real issue. The fact he put hands on you is. Call a local shelter, and ask to talk to a domestic violence counselor. Just talk to them, get some perspective. You don't have to do anything, but just have a little conversation and ask for their perspective and advice.
You don't have to act on the advice.
Do read up a little about the cycle of violence. Get a little context on what happened from an outside pro, someone who sees this daily. From the few words we see here, it sounds like a case on continuing domestic violence based on what you wrote and how you wrote it.0 -
Let me know when we're done making excuses for the drunk who knocks down his pregnant wife and heads to the titty bar.
Heads to the titty bar, comes home, and knocks down his wife. Jesus, are you even paying attention to this?
You should stop posting.
you should learn how to follow a storyline
Can I watch you two make out?0 -
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Seriously, my ex used to beat on me and leave him was the best thing that ever happened. When I was about 8 months pregnant, he was drunk and kissing a girl at a party while I was there! I was pissed, sober, trying to get him home and he punched me in the stomach, pushed me off the porch, down two steps and onto the sidewalk. His friends saw, did nothing. Someone across the street saw, screamed out their window and called the police. The cops came, he ran and they caught up to him. Wasn't even 24 hours later and he called me sobbing and apologizing. I always accepted his apologies because they were sincere. A few days after our son was born, I found out he was cheating and locked him out. He broke down the door and bashed my head in with his electric guitar. I was laying on our newborn so he wouldn't get hit! THAT changed things. And the mortification of having an EMT call my dad, as they were cleaning up the cuts on my head. I had never felt so embarrassed and stupid in my life.
Learned two things from that relationship:
-No matter how sorry he says he is and how much you believe it, he won't stop doing it.
-Even though it was his friends who watching him when I was pregnant, they didn't stop him and that makes them just as bad as him.0 -
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Let me know when we're done making excuses for the drunk who knocks down his pregnant wife and heads to the titty bar.
Heads to the titty bar, comes home, and knocks down his wife. Jesus, are you even paying attention to this?
You should stop posting.
you should learn how to follow a storyline
She never once said she pushed him. She said she nudged him away to keep a drunk off her kids. You want to use that as justification for him knocking her to the ground while she's pregnant?
I've gone over this twice now to remove all the choice things I really want to say to you. Because I'm sure you'd report me like the..person you are.
Knocking a pregnant woman to the ground is not ok. Ever. Is any part of that unclear to you?
Where did I ever say it was? I was simply pointing out that you were incorrect.
nudge verb \ˈnəj\
: to touch or push (someone or something) gently
Once you "nudge too hard" the "gently" part of the definition is gone and all that's left is a push ..0 -
-No matter how sorry he says he is and how much you believe it, he won't stop doing it.
I will argue this. I've seen it many times where the aggressor stopped. However, it required extensive professional assistance. So I'd amend it as:
- No matter how sorry he says he is and how much you believe it, he won't stop doing it without significant professional help.0 -
Nothing sinister happened
we were angry things were said he pushed me I fell over and hit my head and now have a little egg :grumble: really super angry about that part because he could has done some serious damage seeing as I'm pregnant.
In saying that I was kinda trying to usher him out of the room because he woke the kids up raising his voice and was scaring them. So I may have nudged a little harder then I rrealised and he pushed back but still........
Ok, now this is a serious problem, and I don't think strip clubs are the real issue here. Your husband needs to get his s**t together like yesterday.0 -
Let me know when we're done making excuses for the drunk who knocks down his pregnant wife and heads to the titty bar.
Heads to the titty bar, comes home, and knocks down his wife. Jesus, are you even paying attention to this?
You should stop posting.
you should learn how to follow a storyline
She never once said she pushed him. She said she nudged him away to keep a drunk off her kids. You want to use that as justification for him knocking her to the ground while she's pregnant?
I've gone over this twice now to remove all the choice things I really want to say to you. Because I'm sure you'd report me like the..person you are.
Knocking a pregnant woman to the ground is not ok. Ever. Is any part of that unclear to you?
Where did I ever say it was? I was simply pointing out that you were incorrect.
nudge verb \ˈnəj\
: to touch or push (someone or something) gently
Once you "nudge too hard" the "gently" part of the definition is gone and all that's left is a push ..
fine.
she pushed him to get him away from the kids.
this changes nothing but a word.0 -
Like I said I don't blame you for not believing me :-) it's crazy. I really wish I was that good of a story maker but I'm not.
As for the advice from everyone not only you. Thankyou.very much. Really the only part I was gunna post was the original question. When someone said something about the full story and how it makes a difference to the answer I thought yea it does so.. I wasn't even going to mention the part about him pushing me because although I'm really angry and it's not aacceptable I really don't believe he meant to hurt me.
ETA: I accidentally pushed the post button. As I was saying I don't believe he meant to hurt me. This has never really happened before. I think when he's pushed me he hasn't realised his own strength in a way and I've fallen and hit my head. Also when I say I was trying to get him away from the kids he would never hurt them just as I believe he would never hurt me. However since the kids were asleep and the yelling woke them up they were scared ****less (as anybody would be being woken up that way) so I tried to move it elsewhere away from them.0 -
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Read up on the cycle of violence in domestic violence.
The victims at the start *always* think it's a mistake, an accident, they didn't mean it... etc.
Just, for context's sake.0 -
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-No matter how sorry he says he is and how much you believe it, he won't stop doing it.
I will argue this. I've seen it many times where the aggressor stopped. However, it required extensive professional assistance. So I'd amend it as:
- No matter how sorry he says he is and how much you believe it, he won't stop doing it without significant professional help.
OK, I'll take that.
What I meant, In my case was: No matter how sorry he said he was and how much I believed it, he continued to do it showing me that he would never stop.0 -
Seriously, my ex used to beat on me and leave him was the best thing that ever happened. When I was about 8 months pregnant, he was drunk and kissing a girl at a party while I was there! I was pissed, sober, trying to get him home and he punched me in the stomach, pushed me off the porch, down two steps and onto the sidewalk. His friends saw, did nothing. Someone across the street saw, screamed out their window and called the police. The cops came, he ran and they caught up to him. Wasn't even 24 hours later and he called me sobbing and apologizing. I always accepted his apologies because they were sincere. A few days after our son was born, I found out he was cheating and locked him out. He broke down the door and bashed my head in with his electric guitar. I was laying on our newborn so he wouldn't get hit! THAT changed things. And the mortification of having an EMT call my dad, as they were cleaning up the cuts on my head. I had never felt so embarrassed and stupid in my life.
Learned two things from that relationship:
-No matter how sorry he says he is and how much you believe it, he won't stop doing it.
-Even though it was his friends who watching him when I was pregnant, they didn't stop him and that makes them just as bad as him.
So now I'm going to spend the rest of my work hour daydreaming that I saw your husband doing this and I got to kneecap him with a .45.
I hope you don't mind.0 -
Let me know when we're done making excuses for the drunk who knocks down his pregnant wife and heads to the titty bar.
Heads to the titty bar, comes home, and knocks down his wife. Jesus, are you even paying attention to this?
You should stop posting.
you should learn how to follow a storyline
She never once said she pushed him. She said she nudged him away to keep a drunk off her kids. You want to use that as justification for him knocking her to the ground while she's pregnant?
I've gone over this twice now to remove all the choice things I really want to say to you. Because I'm sure you'd report me like the..person you are.
Knocking a pregnant woman to the ground is not ok. Ever. Is any part of that unclear to you?
Where did I ever say it was? I was simply pointing out that you were incorrect.
nudge verb \ˈnəj\
: to touch or push (someone or something) gently
Once you "nudge too hard" the "gently" part of the definition is gone and all that's left is a push ..
Congratulations. You're a pedant. You can shut up now.
The guy who can't get the story right, can't get the timeline correct, and is raging at the boyfriend is telling *me* I can shut up? You should never have started talking there, spanky.0 -
How many times have you "forbade" him from doing something? If the list is long and its a power trip you pull frequently, then you're in wrong.
If this is the first time you've asked him not to do something because it upset you, then maybe you've got a right to be a little PO'd.
Have you been a little wacky lately with hormones and such that he was getting sick of your shennigans and decided to act like a petulent child and did something you didn't want him to do?0 -
Bump for later.
Edited because: Thread was funny. A couple of plot twists in, no longer funny. :noway:0 -
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The guy who can't get the story right, can't get the timeline correct, and is raging at the boyfriend is telling *me* I can shut up? You should never have started talking there, spanky.
Fine. I'll tell you you can shut up. Who gives a rat's *kitten* about the timeline or the difference between a nudge and a push?? He pushed his pregnant wife to the floor. That is NEVER ok. I'm flabbergasted that you are working so hard to defend the guy.0 -
Like I said I don't blame you for not believing me :-) it's crazy. I really wish I was that good of a story maker but I'm not.
As for the advice from everyone not only you. Thankyou.very much. Really the only part I was gunna post was the original question. When someone said something about the full story and how it makes a difference to the answer I thought yea it does so.. I wasn't even going to mention the part about him pushing me because although I'm really angry and it's not aacceptable I really don't believe he meant to hurt me.
ETA: I accidentally pushed the post button. As I was saying I don't believe he meant to hurt me. This has never really happened before. I think when he's pushed me he hasn't realised his own strength in a way and I've fallen and hit my head. Also when I say I was trying to get him away from the kids he would never hurt them just as I believe he would never hurt me. However since the kids were asleep and the yelling woke them up they were scared ****less (as anybody would be being woken up that way) so I tried to move it elsewhere away from them.
I honestly don't care if this has never happened before, your husband clearly has some issues. None of this seems ok to me. Ignoring you concerns about the strip club is not ok, and I would be pissed if my husband and I had talked about doing something together and then he went and did it without me. Especially if I was staying home with the kids and pregnant. The strip club isn't going anywhere.
Then to come home drunk and belligerent, and shoving you - that's over the line. Way over. I second the suggestion to contact a domestic abuse hotline or shelter and talk to someone. Even if you don't do anything with the information right now, talking to someone might help. Take care of yourself and your kids.0
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