Being hit on/flirted with?
Options
Replies
-
I never know when anyone is flirting. The last girl had to actually tell me she was flirting with me. I grew up as the fat kid for most of my life so I never had practice / exposure to it.0
-
Or it's a sign of high self-esteem because I don't think I deserve to be hit on just because someone liked a picture of me. Ever AFTER I tell the person I have a boyfriend, and they keep going saying we should break up and I should meet him, etc. etc. It's just a huge pain in my rear end.This post is a sign of lowwwww self estem0 -
In real life, people frequently flirt with me in a mild way, but rarely do I get hit on. If a guy hits on me or is doing something more than mild flirting, I have a tendency to get sarcastic and sometimes mean, and it doesn't always work in my favor. Guys can be so catty and vindictive when their egos are bruised.
In the internet life, it happens here occasionally, but not very often. Usually it's the harmless stuff on my wall among friends, which I enjoy because everyone on my FL knows my husband's identity and know he's going to read whatever they write. For the most part, it is just innuendo and dirty jokes and not so much "hitting on." If I find someone attractive here, I sometimes say so. It's not very often. I'm a terrible flirt (as in I suck at it). I get bored too quickly because it's the internet, and it feels more like I'm flirting with myself, like it's a giant mental *kitten*.
TL;DR
How YOU doin'?0 -
Not really bragging, but it happens to me quite often. I've never been an especially good looking dude and always been overweight. When I was younger I was a pretty severe introvert. I took the fake it til you make it approach and acted like I had all kinds of confidence. Eventually I started believing my own bullsh*t, and other people did too.0
-
I mean more the obvious like " I want in your pants" flirting...
I always consider the source first. Most of the time, further consideration is not necessary.0 -
This so much.I mean more the obvious like " I want in your pants" flirting...
This is not an excuse even remotely ... but I think a lot of guys don't know *how* to flirt and they literally believe, beyond the shadow of doubt, that making sexually aggressive comments *is* flirting and that women will appreciate the compliments, no matter how wildly inappropriate they are.
Now, I'm not a woman so I can't speak for how often this happens "in real life", but holy moses, if you look on *any* forums that contain both men and women, you'll see this constantly. Especially on forums like this were women are getting in better shape and going through self-esteem changes.
Personally, I think it comes off as desperate and embarrassing.
The funny thing is, if you're a guy and you call other dudes out for this obnoxious ****, they get super defensive and you get labeled an internet white knight trying to "protect" the girl being "flirted with" so she'll like you instead.
I guess I just think that maybe, just maybe, you don't flirt with strange women by talking about their vaginas and what you'd want to do with them. Or that your first comment to a lady on the internet shouldn't be about how much you want to 'tap that *kitten*' now that she's lost weight and include a winky face ;-) to show how much you're just kidding.
Anyway ...
Flirting and being flirted with is fun. Obnoxious asshats making sexually aggressive comments because they either believe women like it, or don't care that they don't like it, is not fun.0 -
I hardly ever get hit on, but when I do.... I'm flattered
0 -
You know, I have no idea where you got that idea from. The same way as there are men with low self-esteem, there are plenty of women who think like that, too. I was always the tall or the ugly or the less petite or less outgoing/bubbly type next to my friends. Plus I am blessed with a so-called resting b1tchface; people sometimes ask me why I'm mad and then I was simply pondering something in peace and quiet. That in combination with my extremely guarded, sensitive and serious personality doesn't lend itself well to being hit on in bars.I never flirted or hit on a women in my life and I just turned 33 last Friday.I just figure since I am fat and in my mind ugly that they would think it would be weird or creepy but I am also really shy as well so I live in my head and talk myself out of it.It takes courage to go up to a women.Women for some reason don't do it but they have the pick of the litter as we men just wait in line.
My male friends have had a good time with me on the dance floor, but very few guys have ever tried to "pick me up"; I can count them on one hand. There's a messed up marriage and a string of awkward dating in my past, but the whole theory on having men waiting in line is someone else's life, not mine. In fact, an old classmate said a few weeks ago that he finally saw a new, more open side to me, because when we grew up I was always so guarded. All of a sudden I saw my whole childhood and youth in a whole new perspective and while I had had some of those thought already beforehand, now I'm certain most of my social difficulties regarding the opposite sex simply stem from my own insecurities and distorted self-image. I've done a lot of work to become more secure and these days I view myself as someone, who has something to offer to someone special, but it's been a long road with quite a few tears.
Maybe you shouldn't overthink the "talking to women" part, but simply do what you love to do and meet people, be they women or men, through a common interest and take it from there. Everyone who is passionate about something can talk for hours on end about that topic and you just have to find someone who gets you. The eyes are the window to one's soul? Passionate people are beautiful and attractive to others, no matter what they talk about.
ETA
Re "the ulgy", that was up in my head. With my excess fat gone and a healthy, strong body created, I could go for a model in some fitness magazine. I just thought I was really ugly when I grew up. How sad is that. When I look in the mirror these days I still see "her" and I don't think much of myself, but when I force myself to be objective, the truth doesn't match at all my inner image of myself.
I don't know whether to give you a high-five for this being so well strung together, or a hug for what I can relate to.0 -
My wife had a lot of people on here hitting on her then asking her to kik with them where they would ask for nude photos. Watch out for these trolls.
This does happen but not in abundance like you're making it out to be. Not trying to make things worst for you but honestly, I found that most of that type of flirting is cause and effect on here. People rarely come out of nowhere asking for this. Usually it's because they were led to believe that was not on their "off limit" list. I mean don't get me wrong, there are definitely a few here and there that ask and they were never given the impression that it was ok. But, it's not common everyday thing to go from stranger to asking for nudes right off the bat. Usually some heavy flirting and lack of boundaries occurs prior to that. I'm married and I make that obvious to everyone, it's on my "about me" section and I don't pm hardly at all, and I've had only the occasional creeps very rare. In fact, I don't even think I've ever been asked to kik and/or send nudes. Idk maybe all that means is I'm a troll and no one would want to see all that anyways.
Actually .... I've already had 6 guys ask for my kik and do that when I gave it so I stopped giving it out :O And I've only been on here around a month!0 -
I'm pretty oblivious to it if it's happening. I just assume folk are being friendly.
this0 -
If you hate it the solution is easy. Take down your pic.
I have lots of posts and lots of FL friends and I dont' get flirted with hardly.
It's not really a problem for me b/c I change avatars enough people know none of them are me.
IRL I dont get flirted with that much anymore b/c all the places I frequent are flirt free zones. On the off chance I go pick up take out or something sometimes a man will flirt but I don't feel bad about it, it's short lived and they have no way of knowing right away that I'm not available so it's not like they are being a jerk about it. It's still always flattering b/c nobody does it in a harsh way just friendly obvious checking out and chit chat so no worries. It's not like they are expecting to throw down in the Coldstone parking lot just b/c we both happen to be there.
But, yeah if you "hate it" my advice is take down your pic and put whatever motivates you or makes YOU feel happy when you see it.
Sorry going through the whole thread I missed last night. I'm not going to take down my picture just because people can't handle themselves in a respectful manner.0 -
If you hate it the solution is easy. Take down your pic.
I have lots of posts and lots of FL friends and I dont' get flirted with hardly.
It's not really a problem for me b/c I change avatars enough people know none of them are me.
IRL I dont get flirted with that much anymore b/c all the places I frequent are flirt free zones. On the off chance I go pick up take out or something sometimes a man will flirt but I don't feel bad about it, it's short lived and they have no way of knowing right away that I'm not available so it's not like they are being a jerk about it. It's still always flattering b/c nobody does it in a harsh way just friendly obvious checking out and chit chat so no worries. It's not like they are expecting to throw down in the Coldstone parking lot just b/c we both happen to be there.
But, yeah if you "hate it" my advice is take down your pic and put whatever motivates you or makes YOU feel happy when you see it.
Sorry going through the whole thread I missed last night. I'm not going to take down my picture just because people can't handle themselves in a respectful manner.
Good for you. Leave it up. As a side not if it makes you feel better, based on the picture you have up now I would neither flirt with or hit on you. :drinker:0 -
This does happen but not in abundance like you're making it out to be. Not trying to make things worst for you but honestly, I found that most of that type of flirting is cause and effect on here. People rarely come out of nowhere asking for this. Usually it's because they were led to believe that was not on their "off limit" list. I mean don't get me wrong, there are definitely a few here and there that ask and they were never given the impression that it was ok. But, it's not common everyday thing to go from stranger to asking for nudes right off the bat. Usually some heavy flirting and lack of boundaries occurs prior to that. I'm married and I make that obvious to everyone, it's on my "about me" section and I don't pm hardly at all, and I've had only the occasional creeps very rare. In fact, I don't even think I've ever been asked to kik and/or send nudes. Idk maybe all that means is I'm a troll and no one would want to see all that anyways.
I don't really consider myself attractive - I'm not overtly sexual on here, and my profile states that I'm happily married. I've gotten four awkward/sexual messages and I've only been active here for 30 days. One went so far as to ask how tight my vagina was?
I dunno, maybe I put out a vibe or something I'm unaware of because I always get gross messages on twitter, too.
Back to the original topic: I'm a super awkward, nerdy, flirty, friendly person IRL. I can't remember the last time someone actually hit on me.0 -
Too many people confuse being nice with flirting now-a-days0
-
If you hate it the solution is easy. Take down your pic.
I have lots of posts and lots of FL friends and I dont' get flirted with hardly.
It's not really a problem for me b/c I change avatars enough people know none of them are me.
IRL I dont get flirted with that much anymore b/c all the places I frequent are flirt free zones. On the off chance I go pick up take out or something sometimes a man will flirt but I don't feel bad about it, it's short lived and they have no way of knowing right away that I'm not available so it's not like they are being a jerk about it. It's still always flattering b/c nobody does it in a harsh way just friendly obvious checking out and chit chat so no worries. It's not like they are expecting to throw down in the Coldstone parking lot just b/c we both happen to be there.
But, yeah if you "hate it" my advice is take down your pic and put whatever motivates you or makes YOU feel happy when you see it.
Sorry going through the whole thread I missed last night. I'm not going to take down my picture just because people can't handle themselves in a respectful manner.
Good for you. Leave it up. As a side not if it makes you feel better, based on the picture you have up now I would neither flirt with or hit on you. :drinker:
That's a lie lol0 -
Sorry going through the whole thread I missed last night. I'm not going to take down my picture just because people can't handle themselves in a respectful manner.
Oh heavenly blessed beauty, whose inner beauty is simply diving and everlasting, I would love to be your knight in shining armor. If you want to talk to a good friend, honest, sweet and tender, you can do with me at any moment, I am a good person, kind, loyal and sincere. My friendship that I offer you is clean and transparent. I congratulate to you, because you are very beautiful, your beauty, your charming figure, your pleasant and angelical smile, your personality, your happiness, your charm, your kindness, your beautiful eyes, your lips soft and exquisite, delicate your hands, your legs precious Your beautiful, spectacular and divine body, you have all these qualities and more, you are a wonderful and perfect woman, your gaze is tender and sweet, penetrating my soul. The beauty of a rose has no comparison with the sweetness of your face and the beauty of your heart. I am of the people, I like to have a good relationship with all my friends. Please respond.0 -
I have very high self esteem and confidence, I still don't get hit on/flirted.
Then SMILE more bro! XD The bigger the grin the better the gal!0 -
Too many people confuse being nice with flirting now-a-days
That's probably because too few people are actually nice now-a-days.0 -
If you hate it the solution is easy. Take down your pic.
I have lots of posts and lots of FL friends and I dont' get flirted with hardly.
It's not really a problem for me b/c I change avatars enough people know none of them are me.
IRL I dont get flirted with that much anymore b/c all the places I frequent are flirt free zones. On the off chance I go pick up take out or something sometimes a man will flirt but I don't feel bad about it, it's short lived and they have no way of knowing right away that I'm not available so it's not like they are being a jerk about it. It's still always flattering b/c nobody does it in a harsh way just friendly obvious checking out and chit chat so no worries. It's not like they are expecting to throw down in the Coldstone parking lot just b/c we both happen to be there.
But, yeah if you "hate it" my advice is take down your pic and put whatever motivates you or makes YOU feel happy when you see it.
Sorry going through the whole thread I missed last night. I'm not going to take down my picture just because people can't handle themselves in a respectful manner.
And I don't think you should. Taking down your pic is just silly. I can obviously see why guys would be flirting with you, but still some of my brethren need to stop acting like children.0 -
I am socially awkward and grew up in an extremely sheltered environment., so I misinterpret things.
If you smile at me or are polite, I'll assume you love me and I'll find it necessary to put you in my car trunk and make you my wife where we'll grow old together in a cabin off-the-grid hundreds of miles from humanity. If you're good for a few years, we might even be able to remove the chains.
Long story short, flirt or don't flirt. It doesn't matter. I'll think you are anyway. *cleans trunk*0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 401 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 992 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions