Being hit on/flirted with?

Saucy_lil_Minx

I myself am a big flirt, so no it doesn't bother me! It's when people cross the line from flirt to vulgarity that pisses me off, and I have no problem telling you when you cross that line! :happy:

AnxiousPenman

I mean more the obvious like " I want in your pants" flirting...

This is not an excuse even remotely ... but I think a lot of guys don't know *how* to flirt and they literally believe, beyond the shadow of doubt, that making sexually aggressive comments *is* flirting and that women will appreciate the compliments, no matter how wildly inappropriate they are.

Now, I'm not a woman so I can't speak for how often this happens "in real life", but holy moses, if you look on *any* forums that contain both men and women, you'll see this constantly. Especially on forums like this were women are getting in better shape and going through self-esteem changes.

Personally, I think it comes off as desperate and embarrassing.

The funny thing is, if you're a guy and you call other dudes out for this obnoxious ****, they get super defensive and you get labeled an internet white knight trying to "protect" the girl being "flirted with" so she'll like you instead.

I guess I just think that maybe, just maybe, you don't flirt with strange women by talking about their vaginas and what you'd want to do with them. Or that your first comment to a lady on the internet shouldn't be about how much you want to 'tap that *kitten*' now that she's lost weight and include a winky face ;-) to show how much you're just kidding.

Anyway ...

Flirting and being flirted with is fun. Obnoxious asshats making sexually aggressive comments because they either believe women like it, or don't care that they don't like it, is not fun.

mank32

Never happens to me :sad:

There's a reason for that

Please enlgihten me. I'd do anything to improve myself.

#1. that UN has got to go...

AglaeaC

The creepy vulgar guys with offensive remarks bother me. Also the really aggressive types. Some guy followed me off of the freeway to a gas station recently. That was scary. He asked if I had a boyfriend and some other stuff. Compliments are nice from some but it's really hard to separate the creeps from the nice guys sometimes.

I guess I'm in the not liking it crowd.

Something similar happened to my coworker. She was at a red light and the guy next to her motioned to put her window down. She figured something was wrong with the car or he needed directions. Here he tells her that he noticed she didn't have a wedding ring and asked her out to dinner! That would creep me out!

Yeah, I wouldn't drive straight home then.

MrTolerable

Never happens to me :sad:

There's a reason for that

Please enlgihten me. I'd do anything to improve myself.

All it takes is being that guy thats confident... I recall years ago my friend who was even a little heavy and not nearly as studly looking as me would get randomly hit on.. and I was like WTF?! The secret is to smile and smile often, and to have an aura of being an authority figure, all the while coming off as brazenly confident, with a dash of cocky. - a big way to just boost it right off the bat as well is to always always always out dress all those around you as well. - and practice the law of least effort - when the girl hits on you, immediately turn it around and hit them up with questions and get them talking about themselves.. and they will lmao.. after they are done being chatter boxes, you've accomplished the mysterious vibe because they walk away not knowing a thing about you.. and if they ask you a question direct be ambiguous as you can be... and most importantly - don't be afraid to touch them - lightly at first, but rub their arm or the top of their hand, touch the hair- their kitties will be purrrrring bro ;P

Grumpsandwich

If it ever happens to me, I will let you know. When i was younger i loved it, as long as it wasnt old creepy hairy dudes. But.. Its been so long since its happen I dont know how I would feel about it. Being obese for over 20 years took care of that. Now that im not obese, im old :P lol

CharlotteAnneUK

A Little flirtation is fine, but this is a fitness site not a dating site....

Can you tell i dont get "hit on"... :laugh:

But seriously.... I will call peeps hon, babe and tell people they look great, hot even but only if I believe they do, beyond that...

Joyinherjourney

I grew up with no self confidence what-so-ever. Plus I am a weeee bit introverted. So it always seems to throw me off a little.:blushing:

sunflowerhippi

I somehow don't realize it when people do it, then a few months later because I am outgoing and friendly have crazy stalkers. This has happened multiple times. My husband now told me no more talking to strangers.

jasonmh630

If it ever happens to me, I will let you know. When i was younger i loved it, as long as it wasnt old creepy hairy dudes. But.. Its been so long since its happen I dont know how I would feel about it. Being obese for over 20 years took care of that. Now that im not obese, im old :P lol

You, mam, look FANTASTIC! :flowerforyou:

Timshel_

How does anyone else feel about it?
I personally hate it.

Meh. I take it as a compliment.

Unknown

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tristan299

I don't have to worry about it, it doesn't happen. however, should any female wish to flirt/hit on me go ahead it would make my year.:bigsmile:

bookworm_847

I like it. I grew up with zero confidence. It's kind of nice to think that others see me as something "good" when I so often don't.

This exactly.

I'm happily married, but it's a nice little confidence booster if someone flirts with me... as long as it's not the obnoxious, gross kind of flirting.

tristan299

Fact

msf74

I like being flirted with (sexual flattery without the intention of it going any further)
I do not like being hit on (sexual flattery with the intention of it going further*)

* unless my wife won't find out**

** this is a joke***

*** possibly

bald_navy_wife

i personally can appreciate a compliment but being hit on is totally different. IMO i dislike it especially since it's clear i am a married woman. You'd think people would get a clue when they see a wedding band on my finger.

Collier78

I like it. I grew up with zero confidence. It's kind of nice to think that others see me as something "good" when I so often don't.

So much this.

P.S, I think you are cute. :flowerforyou:

You are both very attractive men, but I get what you're saying...I for one always see the fat girl..not matter how much I lose or how much better I feel. My husband always tells me how beautiful I am or how sexy he finds me, but I never quite believe it..

GallifreyanGirl396

Mainly men above the age of 70 and women in the 45-50+ range flirt with me. So, uncomfortable. At least they're never handsy though.
I'm not the type to gasp and glare if someone decides to cop a feel. I've had a fair share of guys my own age/ younger/ older walk away with a busted nose or mouth.

Galatea_Stone

In real life, people frequently flirt with me in a mild way, but rarely do I get hit on. If a guy hits on me or is doing something more than mild flirting, I have a tendency to get sarcastic and sometimes mean, and it doesn't always work in my favor. Guys can be so catty and vindictive when their egos are bruised.

In the internet life, it happens here occasionally, but not very often. Usually it's the harmless stuff on my wall among friends, which I enjoy because everyone on my FL knows my husband's identity and know he's going to read whatever they write. For the most part, it is just innuendo and dirty jokes and not so much "hitting on." If I find someone attractive here, I sometimes say so. It's not very often. I'm a terrible flirt (as in I suck at it). I get bored too quickly because it's the internet, and it feels more like I'm flirting with myself, like it's a giant mental *kitten*.

crohnsfighter

I never know when anyone is flirting. The last girl had to actually tell me she was flirting with me. I grew up as the fat kid for most of my life so I never had practice / exposure to it.

karmac0matic

This post is a sign of lowwwww self estem

Or it's a sign of high self-esteem because I don't think I deserve to be hit on just because someone liked a picture of me. Ever AFTER I tell the person I have a boyfriend, and they keep going saying we should break up and I should meet him, etc. etc. It's just a huge pain in my rear end.

MiloBloom83

In real life, people frequently flirt with me in a mild way, but rarely do I get hit on. If a guy hits on me or is doing something more than mild flirting, I have a tendency to get sarcastic and sometimes mean, and it doesn't always work in my favor. Guys can be so catty and vindictive when their egos are bruised.

In the internet life, it happens here occasionally, but not very often. Usually it's the harmless stuff on my wall among friends, which I enjoy because everyone on my FL knows my husband's identity and know he's going to read whatever they write. For the most part, it is just innuendo and dirty jokes and not so much "hitting on." If I find someone attractive here, I sometimes say so. It's not very often. I'm a terrible flirt (as in I suck at it). I get bored too quickly because it's the internet, and it feels more like I'm flirting with myself, like it's a giant mental *kitten*.

TL;DR

How YOU doin'?

VoodooSyxx

Not really bragging, but it happens to me quite often. I've never been an especially good looking dude and always been overweight. When I was younger I was a pretty severe introvert. I took the fake it til you make it approach and acted like I had all kinds of confidence. Eventually I started believing my own bullsh*t, and other people did too.

Calliope610

I mean more the obvious like " I want in your pants" flirting...

I always consider the source first. Most of the time, further consideration is not necessary.

karmac0matic

I mean more the obvious like " I want in your pants" flirting...

This is not an excuse even remotely ... but I think a lot of guys don't know *how* to flirt and they literally believe, beyond the shadow of doubt, that making sexually aggressive comments *is* flirting and that women will appreciate the compliments, no matter how wildly inappropriate they are.

Now, I'm not a woman so I can't speak for how often this happens "in real life", but holy moses, if you look on *any* forums that contain both men and women, you'll see this constantly. Especially on forums like this were women are getting in better shape and going through self-esteem changes.

Personally, I think it comes off as desperate and embarrassing.

The funny thing is, if you're a guy and you call other dudes out for this obnoxious ****, they get super defensive and you get labeled an internet white knight trying to "protect" the girl being "flirted with" so she'll like you instead.

I guess I just think that maybe, just maybe, you don't flirt with strange women by talking about their vaginas and what you'd want to do with them. Or that your first comment to a lady on the internet shouldn't be about how much you want to 'tap that *kitten*' now that she's lost weight and include a winky face ;-) to show how much you're just kidding.

Anyway ...

Flirting and being flirted with is fun. Obnoxious asshats making sexually aggressive comments because they either believe women like it, or don't care that they don't like it, is not fun.

This so much.

cheekym7

I hardly ever get hit on, but when I do.... I'm flattered

crohnsfighter

I never flirted or hit on a women in my life and I just turned 33 last Friday.I just figure since I am fat and in my mind ugly that they would think it would be weird or creepy but I am also really shy as well so I live in my head and talk myself out of it.It takes courage to go up to a women.Women for some reason don't do it but they have the pick of the litter as we men just wait in line.

You know, I have no idea where you got that idea from. The same way as there are men with low self-esteem, there are plenty of women who think like that, too. I was always the tall or the ugly or the less petite or less outgoing/bubbly type next to my friends. Plus I am blessed with a so-called resting b1tchface; people sometimes ask me why I'm mad and then I was simply pondering something in peace and quiet. That in combination with my extremely guarded, sensitive and serious personality doesn't lend itself well to being hit on in bars.

My male friends have had a good time with me on the dance floor, but very few guys have ever tried to "pick me up"; I can count them on one hand. There's a messed up marriage and a string of awkward dating in my past, but the whole theory on having men waiting in line is someone else's life, not mine. In fact, an old classmate said a few weeks ago that he finally saw a new, more open side to me, because when we grew up I was always so guarded. All of a sudden I saw my whole childhood and youth in a whole new perspective and while I had had some of those thought already beforehand, now I'm certain most of my social difficulties regarding the opposite sex simply stem from my own insecurities and distorted self-image. I've done a lot of work to become more secure and these days I view myself as someone, who has something to offer to someone special, but it's been a long road with quite a few tears.

Maybe you shouldn't overthink the "talking to women" part, but simply do what you love to do and meet people, be they women or men, through a common interest and take it from there. Everyone who is passionate about something can talk for hours on end about that topic and you just have to find someone who gets you. The eyes are the window to one's soul? Passionate people are beautiful and attractive to others, no matter what they talk about.

ETA
Re "the ulgy", that was up in my head. With my excess fat gone and a healthy, strong body created, I could go for a model in some fitness magazine. I just thought I was really ugly when I grew up. How sad is that. When I look in the mirror these days I still see "her" and I don't think much of myself, but when I force myself to be objective, the truth doesn't match at all my inner image of myself.

I don't know whether to give you a high-five for this being so well strung together, or a hug for what I can relate to.

karmac0matic

My wife had a lot of people on here hitting on her then asking her to kik with them where they would ask for nude photos. Watch out for these trolls.

This does happen but not in abundance like you're making it out to be. Not trying to make things worst for you but honestly, I found that most of that type of flirting is cause and effect on here. People rarely come out of nowhere asking for this. Usually it's because they were led to believe that was not on their "off limit" list. I mean don't get me wrong, there are definitely a few here and there that ask and they were never given the impression that it was ok. But, it's not common everyday thing to go from stranger to asking for nudes right off the bat. Usually some heavy flirting and lack of boundaries occurs prior to that. I'm married and I make that obvious to everyone, it's on my "about me" section and I don't pm hardly at all, and I've had only the occasional creeps very rare. In fact, I don't even think I've ever been asked to kik and/or send nudes. Idk maybe all that means is I'm a troll and no one would want to see all that anyways.

Actually .... I've already had 6 guys ask for my kik and do that when I gave it so I stopped giving it out :O And I've only been on here around a month!

sadiebrawl

I'm pretty oblivious to it if it's happening. I just assume folk are being friendly.

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