A Letter, Add Yours!

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  • cinandchris
    cinandchris Posts: 229 Member
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    stop saying "im not touching him, im not touching him" when you clearly have your finger in his face,
    stop saying "mom mom mom ............." with no statement or question to follow,

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • foxfire9372
    foxfire9372 Posts: 184 Member
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    Dear dearly departed lover,
    I know I asked my husband to take you away and dispose of you. Which he has done very cleverly and won't tell me what he has done with you (I am thinking you were used as target practice). However, I need you or a replacement. I miss your daily digital readout, o.k. sometimes two or three times a day digital readout. Please come back to me. Missing my scale!
  • Life_is_Good
    Life_is_Good Posts: 361 Member
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    Dear Creepo at the gate,
    Please don't act like you know me. We've had very few small conversations before. Let's keep it to a minimal. Please don't follow me to my apartment so you can check it for predators. You are the predator. I hate you and I don't want to be your friend. Go hang you with your fiance and keep your nasty tainted hands off of me. Thank you.
    Scared Sh*tless,
    your prey.

    Caroline Fitness - Be careful with this guy... sounds like a creep. Is he employed by your apartment building? If so, I would call your landlord & let them know this guy is making you really uncomfortable.
  • 5KNohno
    5KNohno Posts: 503
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    Dear Creepo at the gate,
    Please don't act like you know me. We've had very few small conversations before. Let's keep it to a minimal. Please don't follow me to my apartment so you can check it for predators. You are the predator. I hate you and I don't want to be your friend. Go hang you with your fiance and keep your nasty tainted hands off of me. Thank you.
    Scared Sh*tless,
    your prey.

    Caroline Fitness - Be careful with this guy... sounds like a creep. Is he employed by your apartment building? If so, I would call your landlord & let them know this guy is making you really uncomfortable.

    I agree. Better safe.
  • LightenUp_Caro
    LightenUp_Caro Posts: 572 Member
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    Dear Creepo at the gate,
    Please don't act like you know me. We've had very few small conversations before. Let's keep it to a minimal. Please don't follow me to my apartment so you can check it for predators. You are the predator. I hate you and I don't want to be your friend. Go hang you with your fiance and keep your nasty tainted hands off of me. Thank you.
    Scared Sh*tless,
    your prey.

    Caroline Fitness - Be careful with this guy... sounds like a creep. Is he employed by your apartment building? If so, I would call your landlord & let them know this guy is making you really uncomfortable.

    I agree. Better safe.


    Thank you both for your concern. We've notified the owners of the apartment complex, but hes on a 3 week ARMY trip or something...They said they would speak to him when he gets back.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    Dear Jeff,

    I hope you had fun with your little fling. I hope she is more able to put up with your arrogant, conceited, the-world-revolves-around-me self...because I can't anymore. Have fun only having half of your *kitten*....let's see how much fun you and your little f*ckbuddy have when you are working two jobs to pay child support and spousal support...and you are flat broke and don't have a pot to piss in.

    Bite me very much,
    Amanda

    ____


    Dear Neighbor *whose dog keeps crapping in my yard*

    Next time I go to get in my car, and step in your dog's "business", I'm going to scoop it up, put it in a bag, and put it on your doorstep and set it on fire.

    Sincerely,
    Your not-so-friendly neighbor

    _____


    Dear Oil Billionaires:

    I hope your pockets are nice and full because mine aren't. Every week I have less and less to spend on food for my family because I have to spend more on gas. Two words....YOU SUCK!!!!!

    Try living hand-to-mouth like the rest of America for a week and you'll understand why I am so angry.

    Yours Truly,
    Another Screwed-Over customer




    Whew! I feel better:bigsmile:
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Dear Jeff,

    I hope you had fun with your little fling. I hope she is more able to put up with your arrogant, conceited, the-world-revolves-around-me self...because I can't anymore. Have fun only having half of your *kitten*....let's see how much fun you and your little f*ckbuddy have when you are working two jobs to pay child support and spousal support...and you are flat broke and don't have a pot to piss in.

    Bite me very much,
    Amanda

    ____


    Dear Neighbor *whose dog keeps crapping in my yard*

    Next time I go to get in my car, and step in your dog's "business", I'm going to scoop it up, put it in a bag, and put it on your doorstep and set it on fire.

    Sincerely,
    Your not-so-friendly neighbor

    _____


    Dear Oil Billionaires:

    I hope your pockets are nice and full because mine aren't. Every week I have less and less to spend on food for my family because I have to spend more on gas. Two words....YOU SUCK!!!!!

    Try living hand-to-mouth like the rest of America for a week and you'll understand why I am so angry.

    Yours Truly,
    Another Screwed-Over customer




    Whew! I feel better:bigsmile:

    Isn't it free therapy? :laugh: :bigsmile:
  • LightenUp_Caro
    LightenUp_Caro Posts: 572 Member
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    Really, this helps....

    I might like I might have a few more coming soon....
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
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    I'm loving all of these...so here we go!

    Dear Son,

    I know you are turning 11 soon, and I am very excited for you to grow up. However...I was 10 once, and you are by no means:

    better
    smarter
    harder working
    able to drive your own butt anywhere
    able to do the laundry
    clever enough to grocery shop
    rich enough to buy all the items you need (clothes) and items you don't need (toys & game crap)
    and lastly, owner of the house...

    So quit treating me like I'm stupid when I speak, being annoyed with me when I help, and thankless when I spend 23094587243095872304587 hours doing everything for you. I do things, share my time, and give you my attention to you not because I owe you, but because I love you and I want you to be happy.

    Love,
    Your Mother Who Can't Do Anything Right

    P.S. Good luck trying to find all 39483987453 pieces to your baseball uniform tonight. I took the day off.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    Dear Kids,

    Mother's Day is coming up and I would like to have if not the whole day, at least a few hours off.

    When I am in the bathroom, please don't knock on the door and say, "Mom, what are you doing?" I am doing one of two things...you have a 50/50 shot at getting it right.

    If you see me cooking dinner, I am doing my best to get it done as fast as I can...because I am very likely famished as well. Nagging me and asking every five minutes "When is dinner going to be done?" does not make it cook any quicker.

    And to Natalie,
    Honey, quit being so picky about your clothes. You go to school to LEARN, not for a fashion show. Who am I raising, the next Paris Hilton???? *God, I hope not*

    Love always,
    Your overworked *and seriously underpaid* mother.



    And a P.S. to my earlier letter to Jeff:

    I could go out TODAY and find another man...that car is a "dude magnet":bigsmile:
    But I am going to take my time and be choosy this time around because I am worth more than that.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Dear Co-Workers,

    Since you all apparently have a lot of Siberian blood in you, don't assume I like the office temperature below 48 degrees.

    When office drops below the said 48 degrees, don't ask me why I'm putting on layers of sweaters, scarfs & coats. It's called "self-preservation". :grumble:

    See those slats up in the ceiling?? That's a air register. Maybe you can't see it because it's over my desk, not yours. That noise you hear is the register blasting out the cold air you seem to thrive in. Lucky me.

    One day I hope the powers that be will tire of my incessant whining & move my desk to the buildings boiler room, but until that glorious day happens, you can take that t/stat & put it where the sun doesn't shine. :bigsmile:

    Frigidly yours,

    Shannon
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Dear IRS,

    WHERE IN THE FLICKY FLUCK BALLS is my STIMULUS check?

    Yours truly,

    A tax payer
  • uwhuskygirl
    uwhuskygirl Posts: 320
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    Dear Co-Workers,

    Since you all apparently have a lot of Siberian blood in you, don't assume I like the office temperature below 48 degrees.

    When office drops below the said 48 degrees, don't ask me why I'm putting on layers of sweaters, scarfs & coats. It's called "self-preservation". :grumble:

    See those slats up in the ceiling?? That's a air register. Maybe you can't see it because it's over my desk, not yours. That noise you hear is the register blasting out the cold air you seem to thrive in. Lucky me.

    One day I hope the powers that be will tire of my incessant whining & move my desk to the buildings boiler room, but until that glorious day happens, you can take that t/stat & put it where the sun doesn't shine. :bigsmile:

    Frigidly yours,

    Shannon

    For that reason I went to Target and invested in a $12 space heater. It changed my life.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Dear Co-Workers,

    Since you all apparently have a lot of Siberian blood in you, don't assume I like the office temperature below 48 degrees.

    When office drops below the said 48 degrees, don't ask me why I'm putting on layers of sweaters, scarfs & coats. It's called "self-preservation". :grumble:

    See those slats up in the ceiling?? That's a air register. Maybe you can't see it because it's over my desk, not yours. That noise you hear is the register blasting out the cold air you seem to thrive in. Lucky me.

    One day I hope the powers that be will tire of my incessant whining & move my desk to the buildings boiler room, but until that glorious day happens, you can take that t/stat & put it where the sun doesn't shine. :bigsmile:

    Frigidly yours,

    Shannon

    For that reason I went to Target and invested in a $12 space heater. It changed my life.

    Dear uwhuskygirl,

    I once invested in a space heater. The problem I had was I was always paranoid every single day on the way home from work that I actually turned it off. Several times i had to turn around and come back to work to double check. I had never left it on.

    Love,

    The space heater drove me crazy!
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    Dear Co-Workers,

    Since you all apparently have a lot of Siberian blood in you, don't assume I like the office temperature below 48 degrees.

    When office drops below the said 48 degrees, don't ask me why I'm putting on layers of sweaters, scarfs & coats. It's called "self-preservation". :grumble:

    See those slats up in the ceiling?? That's a air register. Maybe you can't see it because it's over my desk, not yours. That noise you hear is the register blasting out the cold air you seem to thrive in. Lucky me.

    One day I hope the powers that be will tire of my incessant whining & move my desk to the buildings boiler room, but until that glorious day happens, you can take that t/stat & put it where the sun doesn't shine. :bigsmile:

    Frigidly yours,

    Shannon

    Yeah, that goes for me too. I don't care if this office is the warmest one in the building. I'M STILL FREEZING!!!
  • uwhuskygirl
    uwhuskygirl Posts: 320
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    I have a reccuring outlook reminder set for 15 minutes before I go home. I spend the last 15 minutes of my day a little cold, but it beats being cold for all 8 hours.

    But nonetheless one of my co-workers enjoys sending me pictures of torched offices :grumble:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    Dear Co-Workers,

    Since you all apparently have a lot of Siberian blood in you, don't assume I like the office temperature below 48 degrees.

    When office drops below the said 48 degrees, don't ask me why I'm putting on layers of sweaters, scarfs & coats. It's called "self-preservation". :grumble:

    See those slats up in the ceiling?? That's a air register. Maybe you can't see it because it's over my desk, not yours. That noise you hear is the register blasting out the cold air you seem to thrive in. Lucky me.

    One day I hope the powers that be will tire of my incessant whining & move my desk to the buildings boiler room, but until that glorious day happens, you can take that t/stat & put it where the sun doesn't shine. :bigsmile:

    Frigidly yours,

    Shannon

    For that reason I went to Target and invested in a $12 space heater. It changed my life.

    I have a space heater that I used when we first moved to this new building but unfortunately it blew a circuit now I can't use it. :explode: I invested in an electric throw which helps but it's hard to do my work when my hands have to stay under the throw in order to keep warm. :frown:
  • LightenUp_Caro
    LightenUp_Caro Posts: 572 Member
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    Dear Little Indian man at the Indian Restaurant,
    You do realize that you're my favorite person in town. That being said, when I ask for my food "mild", it isn't cool for you to bring it out while chuckling and carrying a large pitcher of water with a straw in it saying "you might need this." I end up drinking so much ice water while in your restaurant that I leave with a body temperature of 50 degrees and you think its funny that I turn purple from the cold. All while my mouth is still burning because "mild" translates to "extra freaking spicy" to you. thanks.

    Signed,
    Mildly allergic to peppers, but afraid to tell you now.

    ps- i HATE ballywood. please take down the TVs so I don't have to watch it. Its gross.
  • amylynne26
    amylynne26 Posts: 195 Member
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    Dear brats who cut across my yard,

    I realize I live in a townhouse. The yard is not "mine" in the "I pay a mortgage and can build a fence if I want to" kind of way. However, I do pay a ridiculously high rent and only have a postage stamp sized scrap of grass. I thought the bushes and trees around my patio would keep you away. No. I thought the dligence with which my dear husband planted his pathetic flowers in their mismatched pots would send a message that someone, no matter how colorblind, cared for this little patch of dirt. Alas, it is not to be. You insist on stomping across my tiny plot with your iPods blaring, yelling at each other over the noise. Do you realize you are 6 inches from my window yet only 2 feet from the sidewalk? You get home, what, 30 seconds faster?? Speaking of home, were you raised by wolves????

    The sidewalk is there for your walking pleasure. Embrace it. Don't make me turn the hose on you. :noway:

    Regards,

    The cranky lady in 102
  • GIGINATOR
    GIGINATOR Posts: 355 Member
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    Dear my loving husband,
    No, I don't want to go to an all out gorge yourself buffet for Mother's Day. I am watching what I eat in case you forgot and I don't want to make myself sick.
    Also, when the kids get up on Sunday morning, it would be nice for you to crawl out of bed and make them breakfast and entertain them so I could sleep in a little for once in my life!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and also if you could bring me a cup of coffee and the newspaper while I'm still IN bed that would be great!

    Your loving wife


    By the way, these are SOOO funny and entertaining to read!:laugh:

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