A Letter, Add Yours!

fatsis

I put this in the wrong thread last night.....:embarassed:
But here it is again. I wrote out a copy and attached it to a balloon and released it on Mother's Day



Dear Mom,

Sorry I didn't get to tell you this before you left (you left way too soon)....so I figured now is as good a time as any.

God blessed me with you for a mother. You were always firm and fair, even if I didn't agree with you at the time. You somehow managed to, time after time, to make something from nothing. You could even make Hamburger Helper taste good!!:laugh:
You always wanted better for me than what you had...and I hope I'm making you proud. I'm trying my best to be a good mommy. You said that I would have kids that were just like me, and guess what??? I did.:laugh:

I just know you are up there in Heaven, watching over all the babies as they are arriving. Please take special care of the two whose lives were snatched away yesterday...they were so small and so defenseless...:brokenheart: Love them and hug them like you did for me. You always loved the little ones...

I love you and I miss you every day. You made me into the person I am, and I don't regret a minute of it. There's a void in my life that nothing will ever fill. Some people have a great mom, or a best friend. I was lucky enough to have both.

Love,

Amanda

P.S. Say hi to Grandma for me.

It sounds like your mom did a good job Amanda. I hope u r feeling better today than 2 days ago.

God Bless.

Shannon023

Dear Hemroid Standing Behind me at Salad Bar,

I'm assuming from your proximity to me, my salad choices must have been utterly fascinating. Thank you for paying such close attention to my veggie picks. Your panting when I chose the mushrooms convinced me I was making a good decision.

In the future though, you might want to buy a girl a drink first before getting to know her so well. It's the right thing to do.

Violatedly yours, :sick:

Shannon

kelhun1

Okay, I just stumbled across this thread...and I'm not sure how it died. I have been laughing for 20 minutes. I don't have a "letter" yet, but I wanted to resurrect this so I could continue my giggling. So, those of you who need to "sound off", please do...laughing burns calories, right?

chrissyh

I'm loving all of these...so here we go!

Dear Son,

I know you are turning 11 soon, and I am very excited for you to grow up. However...I was 10 once, and you are by no means:

better
smarter
harder working
able to drive your own butt anywhere
able to do the laundry
clever enough to grocery shop
rich enough to buy all the items you need (clothes) and items you don't need (toys & game crap)
and lastly, owner of the house...

So quit treating me like I'm stupid when I speak, being annoyed with me when I help, and thankless when I spend 23094587243095872304587 hours doing everything for you. I do things, share my time, and give you my attention to you not because I owe you, but because I love you and I want you to be happy.

Love,
Your Mother Who Can't Do Anything Right

P.S. Good luck trying to find all 39483987453 pieces to your baseball uniform tonight. I took the day off.

did you come to my house this weekend and spy?!

kellch

:laugh:

WOW...this one is old :flowerforyou: Oldie but goodie

Shannon023

I forgot about these!! :laugh:

Thanks for resurrecting the thread! :flowerforyou:

BEFORE

Dear Willpower,

You suck.


That is all.

:bigsmile:

JessicaT2007

I am adding one today. GRR

Dear upstairs neighbors:

We have been nice long enough. We do not complain that is sounds like a herd of elephants EVERYDAY. We have put up with your loud week night parties. We only asked you to turn down your radio once since all we could hear is your bass over our TV that we turned up all the way. The other nieghbors told us thanks for that one. We have even brushed off air soft gone pellets everywhere and beer cans in the grass of our apt (Since we are directly below you) and an old pot being thrown off your balcony full of throw up. I am getting sick and tired of you and your friends not having respect for anyone else in this apt building! I am tired of waking up to take my puppy outside and having to make sure she isn't trying to eat all your trash you throw off your balcony! Last night was the last straw. I do not appreciate having snuff spit and even a chunck of chewed snuff in font of my door. Did you just spit off of your walkway? Are you too lazy to carry around a cup to spit in? Are you too lazy to go to your balcony instead to at least spit it in the grass below you? Please stop being so disrespectful and unlikeable. I am one more party away from complaining to the apt complex over and over and over again.

Sincerely frustrated,
the one whole lives below.

BEFORE

I am adding one today. GRR

Dear upstairs neighbors:

We have been nice long enough. We do not complain that is sounds like a herd of elephants EVERYDAY. We have put up with your loud week night parties. We only asked you to turn down your radio once since all we could hear is your bass over our TV that we turned up all the way. The other nieghbors told us thanks for that one. We have even brushed off air soft gone pellets everywhere and beer cans in the grass of our apt (Since we are directly below you) and an old pot being thrown off your balcony full of throw up. I am getting sick and tired of you and your friends not having respect for anyone else in this apt building! I am tired of waking up to take my puppy outside and having to make sure she isn't trying to eat all your trash you throw off your balcony! Last night was the last straw. I do not appreciate having snuff spit and even a chunck of chewed snuff in font of my door. Did you just spit off of your walkway? Are you too lazy to carry around a cup to spit in? Are you too lazy to go to your balcony instead to at least spit it in the grass below you? Please stop being so disrespectful and unlikeable. I am one more party away from complaining to the apt complex over and over and over again.

Sincerely frustrated,
the one whole lives below.

Dear Neighbor Below me,

I apologize for not being an adult and having no respect for others. I have unfortunately grown up in society which labels everyones bad behavior with a medical term. I have not received a punishment in my life for anything I have done wrong. I am sorry my friends and I party so hard that we puke, just so on monday we can tell everybody that we did that, thinking we are the coolest people on the planet. I will have to warn you that eventually I will be laid off from work for a week or so because, being the man child I am, I will have peed in something at work and get caught.

Please take comfort that I will not amount to anything and you will.

JessicaT2007

I am adding one today. GRR

Dear upstairs neighbors:

We have been nice long enough. We do not complain that is sounds like a herd of elephants EVERYDAY. We have put up with your loud week night parties. We only asked you to turn down your radio once since all we could hear is your bass over our TV that we turned up all the way. The other nieghbors told us thanks for that one. We have even brushed off air soft gone pellets everywhere and beer cans in the grass of our apt (Since we are directly below you) and an old pot being thrown off your balcony full of throw up. I am getting sick and tired of you and your friends not having respect for anyone else in this apt building! I am tired of waking up to take my puppy outside and having to make sure she isn't trying to eat all your trash you throw off your balcony! Last night was the last straw. I do not appreciate having snuff spit and even a chunck of chewed snuff in font of my door. Did you just spit off of your walkway? Are you too lazy to carry around a cup to spit in? Are you too lazy to go to your balcony instead to at least spit it in the grass below you? Please stop being so disrespectful and unlikeable. I am one more party away from complaining to the apt complex over and over and over again.

Sincerely frustrated,
the one whole lives below.

Dear Neighbor Below me,

I apologize for not being an adult and having no respect for others. I have unfortunately grown up in society which labels everyones bad behavior with a medical term. I have not received a punishment in my life for anything I have done wrong. I am sorry my friends and I party so hard that we puke, just so on monday we can tell everybody that we did that, thinking we are the coolest people on the planet. I will have to warn you that eventually I will be laid off from work for a week or so because, being the man child I am, I will have peed in something at work and get caught.

Please take comfort that I will not amount to anything and you will.

You so just made my day :bigsmile:

SoupNazi

Dear Neighbor Below me,

I apologize for not being an adult and having no respect for others. I have unfortunately grown up in society which labels everyones bad behavior with a medical term. I have not received a punishment in my life for anything I have done wrong. I am sorry my friends and I party so hard that we puke, just so on monday we can tell everybody that we did that, thinking we are the coolest people on the planet. I will have to warn you that eventually I will be laid off from work for a week or so because, being the man child I am, I will have peed in something at work and get caught.

Please take comfort that I will not amount to anything and you will.

Bwahahahaha!!!

BEFORE

Dear Blue Jeans,

Thanks for making my butt look like the size of a large SUV.
Thanks for being so tight that it squeezes the lower belly which then makes the belly roll look bigger.
Thank you for being so tight that a red ring remains after removing you.

Mireille

Dear Neighbor Below me,

I apologize for not being an adult and having no respect for others. I have unfortunately grown up in society which labels everyones bad behavior with a medical term. I have not received a punishment in my life for anything I have done wrong. I am sorry my friends and I party so hard that we puke, just so on monday we can tell everybody that we did that, thinking we are the coolest people on the planet. I will have to warn you that eventually I will be laid off from work for a week or so because, being the man child I am, I will have peed in something at work and get caught.

Please take comfort that I will not amount to anything and you will.

This is so funny!! :laugh:

Mireille

Dear tummy,

I am very upset with you today today. You have done nothing but growl and beg for food all day. I have fed you nothing but nutritious food but yet you persist that high calorie junk food would make you happier.
I am tired of arguing with you so please shut up.


Sincerely,
Fed up

Shannon023

Dear Makers of Underwire Bras,

I understand how having the word "wire" in your product, would make you think that women want to wear bras made out of razor or barbed wire, but surprisingly, that is not so. Perhaps if you changed the name of the product to Undertissue or Underfeathers your bras can be made to where I don't feel like I'm getting a mastectomy every day.

Sincerely,

Will these redlines ever go away??? :grumble:

BEFORE

Dear Makers of Underwire Bras,

I understand how having the word "wire" in your product, would make you think that women want to wear bras made out of razor or barbed wire, but surprisingly, that is not so. Perhaps if you changed the name of the product to Undertissue or Underfeathers your bras can be made to where I don't feel like I'm getting a mastectomy every day.

Sincerely,

Will these redlines ever go away??? :grumble:

Are Bras necessary? :ohwell:

Shannon023

Dear Makers of Underwire Bras,

I understand how having the word "wire" in your product, would make you think that women want to wear bras made out of razor or barbed wire, but surprisingly, that is not so. Perhaps if you changed the name of the product to Undertissue or Underfeathers your bras can be made to where I don't feel like I'm getting a mastectomy every day.

Sincerely,

Will these redlines ever go away??? :grumble:

Are Bras necessary? :ohwell:

Not once I get home.

BEFORE

OK girls your free. :laugh:

No comment. I dont want lower this thread.

kellch

Dear Makers of Underwire Bras,

I understand how having the word "wire" in your product, would make you think that women want to wear bras made out of razor or barbed wire, but surprisingly, that is not so. Perhaps if you changed the name of the product to Undertissue or Underfeathers your bras can be made to where I don't feel like I'm getting a mastectomy every day.

Sincerely,

Will these redlines ever go away??? :grumble:

Are Bras necessary? :ohwell:

Yes they are You should know.......I hear you have man boobs :smokin: (I mean that's what you said on a previous post anyway...so you should understand the issues :laugh: :smooched: :flowerforyou: ) If ya workout you might get hit in the face if ya don't have one...or if you're running....well you get the drift :laugh: At least I have that problem....maybe I should just get a reduction...I've always wanted to.....speaking of this could be the start of a good letter.......

Dear boobs:
Would it be too much to ask of you to just stay in one place when I run, jog, jump, workout. It hurts when you bounce. And why must you hurt so bad when TOM comes to visit. I can't even lay on my sides. I would appreciate it if you would start shrinking with my weight loss. I need a proportionate body please. Also, would it really be so much of a problem for you to stay perky as I age? I already have a belly big enough that I don't need any extra skin and fat hanging down in that area. And the good push up bras are simply too expensive. If you could meet these simple demands, I would very much appreciate it.
Sincerely,
Just another oversized, saggy, sore, trying to lose some weight, fed up, female.

tashjs21

Dear Fiber One poptarts,
You are so very yummy but can you please have some consistancy to your, ermm, side effects. Just when I think my tolerance is built up and I go a few days without the windiness...you decide to kick back for a day. My tummy does not appreciate it...either do my cats who have really small lungs.

Sincerelly,
The Wind Breaker

ChubbyBunny

Dear Fiber One poptarts,
You are so very yummy but can you please have some consistancy to your, ermm, side effects. Just when I think my tolerance is built up and I go a few days without the windiness...you decide to kick back for a day. My tummy does not appreciate it...either do my cats who have really small lungs.

Sincerelly,
The Wind Breaker

:laugh: :laugh:

BEFORE

Dear Makers of Underwire Bras,

I understand how having the word "wire" in your product, would make you think that women want to wear bras made out of razor or barbed wire, but surprisingly, that is not so. Perhaps if you changed the name of the product to Undertissue or Underfeathers your bras can be made to where I don't feel like I'm getting a mastectomy every day.

Sincerely,

Will these redlines ever go away??? :grumble:

Are Bras necessary? :ohwell:

Yes they are You should know.......I hear you have man boobs :smokin: (I mean that's what you said on a previous post anyway...so you should understand the issues :laugh: :smooched: :flowerforyou: ) If ya workout you might get hit in the face if ya don't have one...or if you're running....well you get the drift :laugh: At least I have that problem....maybe I should just get a reduction...I've always wanted to.....speaking of this could be the start of a good letter.......

Dear boobs:
Would it be too much to ask of you to just stay in one place when I run, jog, jump, workout. It hurts when you bounce. And why must you hurt so bad when TOM comes to visit. I can't even lay on my sides. I would appreciate it if you would start shrinking with my weight loss. I need a proportionate body please. Also, would it really be so much of a problem for you to stay perky as I age? I already have a belly big enough that I don't need any extra skin and fat hanging down in that area. And the good push up bras are simply too expensive. If you could meet these simple demands, I would very much appreciate it.
Sincerely,
Just another oversized, saggy, sore, trying to lose some weight, fed up, female.

Dear Kellch,

Sorry you are unhappy with both of us, but before you get too occupied with us remember we have helped you snag thousands of mens glances. I am pretty sure (wont go into details) that your fiancee enjoys us too. Would it be too much to ask for a better bra ya cheapskate.

PS if there is spelling errors remember we are a couple of Boobs.

Signed,

Yours Mams

TamTastic

Dear Smelly Gym People,

I have been working out steadily for quite awhile now and the amount of times I have had to cover my nose because of an "odor" coming out of your pits or out of your...............umm........other area............is now too many to count.

Especially you, the lady with the matching spandex top and bottom (Black with green trim) who had the bright idea of getting on the elliptical directly in front of me a couple Saturdays ago........ I don't know what you ate for dinner the night before but let me just say it did not make for a very enjoyable gym experience for me, especially when I needed to take a deep breath!! I would say you passed gas at least 10 times. I know it's a bodily function but if you are doing something like the elliptical, which is just "Working" that gas up and out for you..........maybe go take care of things in the restroom beforehand.

Signed,
Sick of smelling farts in CT!

emibmas

Dear Smelly Gym People,

I have been working out steadily for quite awhile now and the amount of times I have had to cover my nose because of an "odor" coming out of your pits or out of your...............umm........other area............is now too many to count.

Especially you, the lady with the matching spandex top and bottom (Black with green trim) who had the bright idea of getting on the elliptical directly in front of me a couple Saturdays ago........ I don't know what you ate for dinner the night before but let me just say it did not make for a very enjoyable gym experience for me, especially when I needed to take a deep breath!! I would say you passed gas at least 10 times. I know it's a bodily function but if you are doing something like the elliptical, which is just "Working" that gas up and out for you..........maybe go take care of things in the restroom beforehand.

Signed,
Sick of smelling farts in CT!

Maybe she had some of Nat's fiber one toaster pastries?

Shannon023

Dear Smelly Gym People,

I have been working out steadily for quite awhile now and the amount of times I have had to cover my nose because of an "odor" coming out of your pits or out of your...............umm........other area............is now too many to count.

Especially you, the lady with the matching spandex top and bottom (Black with green trim) who had the bright idea of getting on the elliptical directly in front of me a couple Saturdays ago........ I don't know what you ate for dinner the night before but let me just say it did not make for a very enjoyable gym experience for me, especially when I needed to take a deep breath!! I would say you passed gas at least 10 times. I know it's a bodily function but if you are doing something like the elliptical, which is just "Working" that gas up and out for you..........maybe go take care of things in the restroom beforehand.

Signed,
Sick of smelling farts in CT!

Maybe she had some of Nat's fiber one toaster pastries?

Maybe it was Nat. :laugh:


Nat - :flowerforyou: :smooched:

emibmas

Dear Smelly Gym People,

I have been working out steadily for quite awhile now and the amount of times I have had to cover my nose because of an "odor" coming out of your pits or out of your...............umm........other area............is now too many to count.

Especially you, the lady with the matching spandex top and bottom (Black with green trim) who had the bright idea of getting on the elliptical directly in front of me a couple Saturdays ago........ I don't know what you ate for dinner the night before but let me just say it did not make for a very enjoyable gym experience for me, especially when I needed to take a deep breath!! I would say you passed gas at least 10 times. I know it's a bodily function but if you are doing something like the elliptical, which is just "Working" that gas up and out for you..........maybe go take care of things in the restroom beforehand.

Signed,
Sick of smelling farts in CT!

Maybe she had some of Nat's fiber one toaster pastries?

Maybe it was Nat. :laugh:


Nat - :flowerforyou: :smooched:

That is what I was going to say, but I her too much
you're mean

tashjs21

Dear Smelly Gym People,

I have been working out steadily for quite awhile now and the amount of times I have had to cover my nose because of an "odor" coming out of your pits or out of your...............umm........other area............is now too many to count.

Especially you, the lady with the matching spandex top and bottom (Black with green trim) who had the bright idea of getting on the elliptical directly in front of me a couple Saturdays ago........ I don't know what you ate for dinner the night before but let me just say it did not make for a very enjoyable gym experience for me, especially when I needed to take a deep breath!! I would say you passed gas at least 10 times. I know it's a bodily function but if you are doing something like the elliptical, which is just "Working" that gas up and out for you..........maybe go take care of things in the restroom beforehand.

Signed,
Sick of smelling farts in CT!

Maybe she had some of Nat's fiber one toaster pastries?

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I don't eat them on gym days...for sure! :embarassed:

BEFORE

Dear Fiber One poptarts,
You are so very yummy but can you please have some consistancy to your, ermm, side effects. Just when I think my tolerance is built up and I go a few days without the windiness...you decide to kick back for a day. My tummy does not appreciate it...either do my cats who have really small lungs.

Sincerelly,
The Wind Breaker

Dear Natasha,

Your flatulence is breaking EPA codes but your still hot.

Signed,
Your Coworkers

tashjs21

Dear Smelly Gym People,

I have been working out steadily for quite awhile now and the amount of times I have had to cover my nose because of an "odor" coming out of your pits or out of your...............umm........other area............is now too many to count.

Especially you, the lady with the matching spandex top and bottom (Black with green trim) who had the bright idea of getting on the elliptical directly in front of me a couple Saturdays ago........ I don't know what you ate for dinner the night before but let me just say it did not make for a very enjoyable gym experience for me, especially when I needed to take a deep breath!! I would say you passed gas at least 10 times. I know it's a bodily function but if you are doing something like the elliptical, which is just "Working" that gas up and out for you..........maybe go take care of things in the restroom beforehand.

Signed,
Sick of smelling farts in CT!

Maybe she had some of Nat's fiber one toaster pastries?

Maybe it was Nat. :laugh:


Nat - :flowerforyou: :smooched:

:explode: :mad: :explode:

Not on gym days...I plan ahead. :laugh:

BEFORE

Dear Smelly Gym People,

I have been working out steadily for quite awhile now and the amount of times I have had to cover my nose because of an "odor" coming out of your pits or out of your...............umm........other area............is now too many to count.

Especially you, the lady with the matching spandex top and bottom (Black with green trim) who had the bright idea of getting on the elliptical directly in front of me a couple Saturdays ago........ I don't know what you ate for dinner the night before but let me just say it did not make for a very enjoyable gym experience for me, especially when I needed to take a deep breath!! I would say you passed gas at least 10 times. I know it's a bodily function but if you are doing something like the elliptical, which is just "Working" that gas up and out for you..........maybe go take care of things in the restroom beforehand.

Signed,
Sick of smelling farts in CT!

Maybe she had some of Nat's fiber one toaster pastries?

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I don't eat them on gym days...for sure! :embarassed:

Probably not before dates either.