A Letter, Add Yours!

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  • wanderinglight
    wanderinglight Posts: 1,519 Member
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    <<I pretty much put people like this in the category of 'fanciful myths'. You know, like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Christopher Walken. Wow, well you got my attention. (Haha, imagine that, huh?)>>

    Christopher Walken!!!! Too funny.

    :love:
  • GemFB
    GemFB Posts: 104 Member
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    Dear stupid car riding my cars *kitten*....

    Keep doing it. Cuz god forbid I inconvienence you by going five over in the right hand lane and leaving the entire left lane open for you to go around me. I am such an inconsiderate *kitten*. After all, it's only right for you to ride 1 FOOT from my bumper.

    Love always,
    The person that is about to slam on her brakes.

    Dear Professor,

    I am sorry that you are an arrogant *kitten* who doesn't want to answer my questions on Cellular respiration. I understand that you want to sit there and pretend that we are not around (and get paid for it) but today that simply won't do for me. I wish I understood the Krebs cycle a bit more thoroughly but I really don't. So I assumed it was OK to ask you a specific question about the Acetyle Co-A. Aparently I assumed wrong. But it's okay. I mean, I'm sure you didn't mean to call me a moron and suggest I become a janitor. You know y it's ok??? Because when I have my degree and you come to see me you'll remember that you made me feel so insignificant as I count backwards for your anesthesia and begin yer surgery. Let's hope I am an idiot then so I can make a few alterations.

    Sincerely,
    The future Neuro-Surgeon
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
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    Dear Booty Call,

    I initiated this little endeavour, and unless you get with the program, we are going to have to terminate our arrangement. Please don't make me do that. Seriously buddy, the sex is the best I've ever had! Can't you tell? I'm pretty vocal and appreciative in bed. I'm your biggest fan under the sheets and under the stars. We've got a good thing going here -- let's just ride the wave as long as we can.

    And, while we are at it, thank you for coming along at exactly the right time after a breakup to help me transition from sad to sultry sex kitten. You have done wonders for my self-esteem, my skin is glowing, and the aerobic sex is great for my exercise diary.

    So here's the thing. Despite what most guys think, it's not easy for a girl to walk out the door and find someone to have great sex with, and I'm not about to audition a bunch of people to find someone as good as you. I promised you I wouldn't sleep with anyone else, and I won't! But I want to reserve the right to date other people and I don't want to have to lie about this. Can't we initiate a don't ask/ don't tell policy?

    Every time I have plans, you ask me who they are with. And then you get mad and jealous. I've been nothing but up front with you since Day 1! I don't want a boyfriend, I want to have nice, dirty, safe-sex fun...I want to have dinner with other guys but my orgasms with you. Seriously, there is not a chance in Victoria's Secret Hell that you will find another deal as good as this one, so STOP messing it up!

    Your Skittish Sex Kitten

    This post reminds me of a question I had. Why doesn't the exercise calories burned have information for
    SEX. And could we break it down in quarters of a minute....um for the other people.

    Mine has the sex calories. I added it a few weeks ago... But...

    http://www.rd.com/advice-and-know-how/activity-and-exercise-calorie-calculator/article12680.html
    (Pick the sexual activity one on the scrtoll list)

    or...

    http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/cbc

    :happy:

    Thanks I added to my calories now. I need all the calories I can get today.
  • GemFB
    GemFB Posts: 104 Member
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    Not a problem Fatsis. That's why I added it. Figured with all the work I was doing I could at least get a cookie out of it! (Or the cals. to eat one!)
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
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    Not a problem Fatsis. That's why I added it. Figured with all the work I was doing I could at least get a cookie out of it! (Or the cals. to eat one!)

    There is a great new topic what food = the calories burned during your romantic interlude.

    We MFPers could come up with our own new term for sex (ie cookie):blushing:
  • Families_R_Forever
    Families_R_Forever Posts: 630
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    You guys are all so funny!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • 5KNohno
    5KNohno Posts: 503
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    Not a problem Fatsis. That's why I added it. Figured with all the work I was doing I could at least get a cookie out of it! (Or the cals. to eat one!)

    There is a great new topic what food = the calories burned during your romantic interlude.

    We MFPers could come up with our own new term for sex (ie cookie):blushing:
    One problem. It might equal a Fudge Frosted Caramel Swirled Cheesecake Brownie for some and a TicTac for others.
  • MontanaGirl
    MontanaGirl Posts: 1,251 Member
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    Not a problem Fatsis. That's why I added it. Figured with all the work I was doing I could at least get a cookie out of it! (Or the cals. to eat one!)

    There is a great new topic what food = the calories burned during your romantic interlude.

    We MFPers could come up with our own new term for sex (ie cookie):blushing:
    One problem. It might equal a Fudge Frosted Caramel Swirled Cheesecake Brownie for some and a TicTac for others.

    OMG - I just fell off my chair!! :laugh: :laugh:
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
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    Not a problem Fatsis. That's why I added it. Figured with all the work I was doing I could at least get a cookie out of it! (Or the cals. to eat one!)

    There is a great new topic what food = the calories burned during your romantic interlude.

    We MFPers could come up with our own new term for sex (ie cookie):blushing:
    One problem. It might equal a Fudge Frosted Caramel Swirled Cheesecake Brownie for some and a TicTac for others.

    Freaking Hilarious.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :blushing:

    I think my beatiful wife deserves the Fudge Frosted Caramel Swirled Cheesecake Brownie...um ...treatment/experience, but I think I am going to have to do some research.

    Tictac wow they have DRs to help that .....so I hear.
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    Not a problem Fatsis. That's why I added it. Figured with all the work I was doing I could at least get a cookie out of it! (Or the cals. to eat one!)

    There is a great new topic what food = the calories burned during your romantic interlude.

    We MFPers could come up with our own new term for sex (ie cookie):blushing:
    One problem. It might equal a Fudge Frosted Caramel Swirled Cheesecake Brownie for some and a TicTac for others.

    Freaking Hilarious.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :blushing:

    I think my beatiful wife deserves the Fudge Frosted Caramel Swirled Cheesecake Brownie...um ...treatment/experience, but I think I am going to have to do some research.

    Tictac wow they have DRs to help that .....so I hear.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    rotflmao!!! :laugh: omg you guys are killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • wanderinglight
    wanderinglight Posts: 1,519 Member
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    I go for a one-to-one nookie to cookie ratio.

    :heart:
  • 3bearsmom
    3bearsmom Posts: 34
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    dear murphy's law,
    I don't know why you like me so much, especially when every time I get in the car to go anywhere these days. These times are stressful enough for me without you tagging along making all the lights turn red and making sure I get behind all the slow cars when my 2 year old is screaming in the backseat. I am tempted to blame you for all the extra calories I consume in the afternoon when I've had it with my fighting screaming kids. Please please please go bother some skinny, carefree 19 year old with perfect skin somewhere!!!
    sincerely,
    murphy hater.
    to my 13 year old know it all
    guess what! I have been around a few more years than you and have lots more life experience than you, so if I were you I'd LISTEN UP! If I say something there is a reason for it. I am not your maid and not a moneytree. if you want your stinkin' socks washed put them in your hamper or in the laundry room. I will not go around the house trying to locate them. And don't expect new jeans when you won't wear the ones that you have that fit you perfectly fine. If you'd stop spending every dollar the moment you get it you'd have enough to get them yourself, but if you expect me to buy them: two words: NOT HAPPENING!
    And another thing: AIM!!! DO I HAVE TO PUT CHEERIOS IN THE LOO FOR YOU TO IMPROVE YOUR AIM? The floor in front of it has yellowed due to your laziness-and don't try to blame anyone else, you are the only one who uses that bathroom. It is DISGUSTING! I don't see how someone who insists on a shower every morning and every evening can not mind their bathroom looking like a pig lives in it. You don't realize how good you have it sonny-boy-and I better not hear the words "who cares" in that sarcastic voice anytime soon again. aaarrrggghh
    -your exasperated mom
    ps: your playstation and computer and TV are privileges that can easily be taken away indefinately...
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
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    Dear Husband,
    Is it too much to ask for you to come home from your day on the road for work and eat the dinner I made you? Why do you feel is necessary to come home and tell me that a cab is on the way to get you and take you to your drunken friends house to drink? I kind of thought maybe we could spend some time together after I spent all day taking care of your daughter and cleaning our house. A little sex woulda been nice! Now, I know that tomorrow you'll be hungover and you won't feel like spending time with me or Taylor. You're going to sleep all day and then when you do wake up, you'll pretty much not want to be talked to because you're gonna feel so awful. To this I say HAHA! You're gonna deserve every ounce of misery you'll feel. I Love you dearly, but COME ON! Why can't you go off drinking on a night when I had already seen you all day? It doesn't seem fair to wait anxiously for you all day because I love and miss you and then you just say, "Well bye bye honey, I gotta go drink with the boys". Well enjoy your hangover honey :)
    Love Your Devoted Wife :flowerforyou:
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
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    Dear Husband,
    Is it too much to ask for you to come home from your day on the road for work and eat the dinner I made you? Why do you feel is necessary to come home and tell me that a cab is on the way to get you and take you to your drunken friends house to drink? I kind of thought maybe we could spend some time together after I spent all day taking care of your daughter and cleaning our house. A little sex woulda been nice! Now, I know that tomorrow you'll be hungover and you won't feel like spending time with me or Taylor. You're going to sleep all day and then when you do wake up, you'll pretty much not want to be talked to because you're gonna feel so awful. To this I say HAHA! You're gonna deserve every ounce of misery you'll feel. I Love you dearly, but COME ON! Why can't you go off drinking on a night when I had already seen you all day? It doesn't seem fair to wait anxiously for you all day because I love and miss you and then you just say, "Well bye bye honey, I gotta go drink with the boys". Well enjoy your hangover honey :)
    Love Your Devoted Wife :flowerforyou:
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    Dear Husband,
    Is it too much to ask for you to come home from your day on the road for work and eat the dinner I made you? Why do you feel is necessary to come home and tell me that a cab is on the way to get you and take you to your drunken friends house to drink? I kind of thought maybe we could spend some time together after I spent all day taking care of your daughter and cleaning our house. A little sex woulda been nice! Now, I know that tomorrow you'll be hungover and you won't feel like spending time with me or Taylor. You're going to sleep all day and then when you do wake up, you'll pretty much not want to be talked to because you're gonna feel so awful. To this I say HAHA! You're gonna deserve every ounce of misery you'll feel. I Love you dearly, but COME ON! Why can't you go off drinking on a night when I had already seen you all day? It doesn't seem fair to wait anxiously for you all day because I love and miss you and then you just say, "Well bye bye honey, I gotta go drink with the boys". Well enjoy your hangover honey :)
    Love Your Devoted Wife :flowerforyou:


    Next time he comes home, be ready to walk out the door for YOUR night out. Let him see how it is when the shoe's on the other foot!
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    I go for a one-to-one nookie to cookie ratio.

    :heart:

    I bet you do! :tongue: :laugh:
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
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    I will! except I have nowhere to go..lol
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    Dear Husband,
    Is it too much to ask for you to come home from your day on the road for work and eat the dinner I made you? Why do you feel is necessary to come home and tell me that a cab is on the way to get you and take you to your drunken friends house to drink? I kind of thought maybe we could spend some time together after I spent all day taking care of your daughter and cleaning our house. A little sex woulda been nice! Now, I know that tomorrow you'll be hungover and you won't feel like spending time with me or Taylor. You're going to sleep all day and then when you do wake up, you'll pretty much not want to be talked to because you're gonna feel so awful. To this I say HAHA! You're gonna deserve every ounce of misery you'll feel. I Love you dearly, but COME ON! Why can't you go off drinking on a night when I had already seen you all day? It doesn't seem fair to wait anxiously for you all day because I love and miss you and then you just say, "Well bye bye honey, I gotta go drink with the boys". Well enjoy your hangover honey :)
    Love Your Devoted Wife :flowerforyou:

    o-m-g....are we married to the same man?! lol....
    I'll come and take you out girl!!!! we'll thelma and louise it!:drinker:
    only difference will be the zillion calls we'll get from them...asking where is this....how do I do this...what should I do....gotta love them....cuz if not us then who!? LOL

    hugs!
    Ali
  • blhastings
    blhastings Posts: 6
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    Dear Manboobs - OMG I have not laughed out loud like this in a long time!!!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Thanks for the laugh today!

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