Should I be offended?

margannmks · June 2014

Please dont leave us hanging, a followup is so necessary, and a pic of this guy would be the icing on the donut.

neandermagnon · June 2014

I've gotten a greatly needed laugh from this thread and I feel your pain. I have a boss, an attorney, who thinks no one has any sense of smell because he will fart in the main office (his are silent but deadly) while talking to you and then uses the files in his hands to waft the odor away from him. Then he tries to hand me back the files to put away and I have to tell I have no room on my desk and to leave them on the file cabinet across the room. I then Lysol the files and the room only to have come back out and complain of the Lysol stench. It feels like your in the twilight zone that he can't smell the rancid, sulphur stench that can only be compared to rotten eggs sitting out for a couple of days in sour milk but can smell Lysol from two offices away.

it's because if you're around the same smell constantly, the brain kind of ignores it and considers it just the normal background smell, so you become desensitised to it. People who wear too much perfume, it's because they wear the same one constantly, become desensitised to it, stop smelling it so wear more of it so that they can smell it.... but to the rest of the world who isn't desensitised to it, the amount of perfume eminating off them is like being hit in the face by a huge fist of perfume.

So this guy must fart constantly, and so has become desensitised to his own fart smells. He probably thinks that they don't smell. But, for a new and unfamiliar smell like lysol, he can smell it from two offices away.

FatOldManMN · June 2014

Sounds like a challenge to me....

303enfield · June 2014

fart in his office make it even its the only way you can get over this traumatic incident now go my minon and let one rip :explode:

iceey · June 2014

My favourite thread evah!!

Did anyone watch the Grey's Anatomy episode with the woman who couldn't control her farts? She farted constantly and needed surgery to correct it. Maybe this guy has that issue! You should feel sorry for him - poor fella!

sweetcurlz67 · June 2014

I would return the favor. Tomorrow take him a donut.. and some Bean-o.

I like this... and when you give it to him, have a smirk on your face...

fooninie · June 2014

I would tell him, very bluntly, that farting in a colleague's office is not only rude but disrespectful. And ask him to stop. Also, to keep his derogatory comments to himself.

Some people have NO social graces...clearly, you have found one...

fr053n · June 2014

LOL

Pipsg1rl · June 2014

I love the description of looking into a man's eyes and feeling like cotton and angels.

And that wraps up with a fart?!

oh... my abbbbbssss hurt!

leadslinger17 · June 2014

LOL... hilarious. I honestly have no idea what to make of that. Hopefully there is a follow up story.

feherd · June 2014

But I am laughing my *kitten* off.

Just here to say thanks for posting James Franco's ahhhmazing smile!

sloth3toes · June 2014

Bump

MuscleAndMascara · June 2014

I have to get something off my chest.

I have a desk job in the compliance department of an asphalt company. I have my own office, the first one you walk by when you enter the building. We recently had a new employee in our sales department come around and introduce himself about a week ago. I was just sitting in my office, innocently pretending to be working incredibly hard. This guy comes in and says "Hi, I am Jeff. I am the new sales head, I heard that I come to you if I need a translator. Nice to meet you." Normal enough. We start talking about the last place he worked, and he made a joke about me being our minority haul (I am the youngest by far, the only Hispanic in the office, and the only girl). Right in the middle of our conversation, he stops talking and farts. Not just a little one. But he enthusiastically pushes out a four or five second long fart, all the while staring me right in the eyes. He then immediately walks out of my office. No, "I am sorry." "Excuse me." or "haha milk was a bad choice." He just leaves. I am left with this horrible fart stench, couldn't even finish my coffee.

I sat in my office for awhile, wondering what the hell just happened. Did the best prank ever just get pulled on me? Was it an accident? Was he embarrassed? Why did he look me in the eyes, oh God why didn't he break eye contact? I wanted to laugh, but I am genuinely a little offended. That was MY office, my smell domain. I don't go into his office, vomit, then leave.

Anyway, he came to me today and brought me a donut. No idea why. I didn't ask for one. No one else in the department was given any. Now I am so incredibly confused. Was this to atone for his fart? Is he screwing with my brain? I just want to know! I have never even thought this would ever be a scenario I have to navigate. What is this?

OMG!!!!! bwhahahaha :laugh: :laugh:

branflakes1980 · June 2014

I have to get something off my chest.

I have a desk job in the compliance department of an asphalt company. I have my own office, the first one you walk by when you enter the building. We recently had a new employee in our sales department come around and introduce himself about a week ago. I was just sitting in my office, innocently pretending to be working incredibly hard. This guy comes in and says "Hi, I am Jeff. I am the new sales head, I heard that I come to you if I need a translator. Nice to meet you." Normal enough. We start talking about the last place he worked, and he made a joke about me being our minority haul (I am the youngest by far, the only Hispanic in the office, and the only girl). Right in the middle of our conversation, he stops talking and farts. Not just a little one. But he enthusiastically pushes out a four or five second long fart, all the while staring me right in the eyes. He then immediately walks out of my office. No, "I am sorry." "Excuse me." or "haha milk was a bad choice." He just leaves. I am left with this horrible fart stench, couldn't even finish my coffee.

I sat in my office for awhile, wondering what the hell just happened. Did the best prank ever just get pulled on me? Was it an accident? Was he embarrassed? Why did he look me in the eyes, oh God why didn't he break eye contact? I wanted to laugh, but I am genuinely a little offended. That was MY office, my smell domain. I don't go into his office, vomit, then leave.

Anyway, he came to me today and brought me a donut. No idea why. I didn't ask for one. No one else in the department was given any. Now I am so incredibly confused. Was this to atone for his fart? Is he screwing with my brain? I just want to know! I have never even thought this would ever be a scenario I have to navigate. What is this?

Mikki, I am going to share a story with you I have never told anyone else. I frequented a farm a few years back that had the absolute most beautiful man working there I had ever seen. We passed each other between barns and he asked how I was liking the farm. As my eyes met his I felt as though I was diving into a pool of cotton and being whisked away by angels.
Trumpets were sounding in the background, which seemed odd; "don't angels play harps?" I asked myself...

It was then, dear Mikki, that I realized I had lost all control of my sphincter. There were no trumpets, just my wailing rectum. Paralyzed by the humiliation of what was occurring, I stared at him square in the face while it just. kept. going. It was the single most colossal gust of wind ever to escape my bowels and it happened in front of the most breathtaking man I had ever laid eyes on. Concern for his safety began to arise as I polluted the air around us.

When everything was over, we just stood there for a second, trying to make sense of what had happened. I mentally cursed my *kitten* for its utter betrayal and simply soldiered on about my farm visit.

I didn't bring him a donut atonement, but we did end up becoming friends later on.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: And I thought this couldn't get any better!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

SomeNights246 · June 2014

The forums are too much for me sometimes. :laugh:

iceey · June 2014

Please read Part 2 people - it gets better!

TheAverageDan · June 2014

Ehh..... Id be careful of this approach.... he might take the action as a metaphor.... a metaphor for what? I'm not sure... but nothing you want a part of.