what is it with my wife?!

sunshine4040

Nothing needs to be done daily. Maybe trash and diaper take out, but that's it.

She should be doing more. You get an hour lunch, she should too. The other nap hours should be household work.

A: We use cloth diapers, they only get the crap(literally) sprayed out of them...and I do that when I get home...

I don't get an hour for lunch, I often have mandatory meetings or other work engagements. I get 5 minutes of peace eating at my desk while I do additional work.

Ok...this is the one that got me. I agree with some of the posters about the whole PPD, and just because she is happy with the baby doesn't mean she is not depressed. When I quit my job to stay home...it was hard. I missed adult interaction, and I knew NO one in this area. Yes, my husband helps me, but I do not nag or ask him to do anything....he does it of his own free will and a desire to help me. If your wife can't even take the time to rinse the poopy diapers out.....then there is an issue. I breast fed, pumped, and worked outside the home and kept the home going. As a SAHM I didn't need to pump...but I still keep the home going. I think it is freaking ridiculous that you would have to come home and rinse poopy diapers. There are some things that you do as soon as you change a child. Leaving that, well, that's sad. There is a possibility that she is suffering from PPD. That generally would explain why she is apparently doing nothing, yet nagging you to do it. Yes, she is happy with the baby, but emotionally she may be feeling otherwise and not even understand it herself. It can cause you to have anger issues, feel lethargic, and generally have no urge to do anything at all. I hope you guys can talk about it and get it worked out....and I hope she feels better and you get more time with the baby and a little respect for the fact that you are working all day long to take care of the bills.

AsaThorsWoman

Does work include forum posting?

For some people... it does.

I am a phone jockey.

I am working as I type.

baba_helly

OP, sorry if this has been addressed already, but what were her habits before the baby? Who did most of the housework then or was it evenly divided?

AsaThorsWoman

Also, you don't want to push the PPD thing.

Docs just give you pills for that.

Guess what pills do?

Make you fat, addicted and lazy.

Than you'll have even more issues on her hand.

If she's depressed she'll tell you.

Don't try to diagnose a problem she has blatantly stated is not there.

This is not a medical issue.

It is a maturity issue.

AsaThorsWoman

This is why I absolutely refuse to ever tie the knot before living with someone for over a year.

That's not part of the traditional family values I espouse, but it does show a person's true colors before a mistake is made.

You don't really know someone until you've been in their world for awhile.

Too bad no one wants to live with you.

Are you really making fun of someone for being single?

Stay classy, Tai.

baba_helly

Also, you don't want to push the PPD thing.

Docs just give you pills for that.

Guess what pills do?

Make you fat, addicted and lazy.

Than you'll have even more issues on her hand.

If she's depressed she'll tell you.

Don't try to diagnose a problem she has blatantly stated is not there.

This is not a medical issue.

It is a maturity issue.

Yeah, no, properly administered medication for legitimate depression symptoms does not make you "fat, addicted, and lazy."

pinkraynedropjacki

Just tell her to clean the house or get a job. Plain and simple.

This.


An 11 month old is not needing attention the whole time, and can actually be just placed in a play pen while she does some stuff around the baby. It's not that hard & I think she may be using it as an excuse.

Yep, clean or go get a job to pay for the housekeeper is what I'd be saying to her. Her JOB now is the typical housewife.... look after the child & clean the house...

AsaThorsWoman

Also, you don't want to push the PPD thing.

Docs just give you pills for that.

Guess what pills do?

Make you fat, addicted and lazy.

Than you'll have even more issues on her hand.

If she's depressed she'll tell you.

Don't try to diagnose a problem she has blatantly stated is not there.

This is not a medical issue.

It is a maturity issue.

Yeah, no, properly administered medication for legitimate depression symptoms does not make you "fat, addicted, and lazy."

Well, weight gain, dependency and loss of energy are on most anti-depressant warning labels.

JonnyMacAwesome

Well, in this case it doesn't seem warranted. But he has to talk to HER. I've asked if he's spoken to her about it already but get no answer. If she doesn't know, nothing can be fixed.

Sorry I didn't answer you...yes we have had several conversations/arguments in the past about it... which is why I posted her for suggestions...maybe my approach has been all wrong...

JonnyMacAwesome

Does work include forum posting?

My work does, I have emails on the go, have to stay awake through some boring yet "necessary" meetings and talk with colleagues on the phone about whatever needs they have or things I need from them to do my job.

Multi-tasking is wonderful.

baba_helly

Also, you don't want to push the PPD thing.

Docs just give you pills for that.

Guess what pills do?

Make you fat, addicted and lazy.

Than you'll have even more issues on her hand.

If she's depressed she'll tell you.

Don't try to diagnose a problem she has blatantly stated is not there.

This is not a medical issue.

It is a maturity issue.

Yeah, no, properly administered medication for legitimate depression symptoms does not make you "fat, addicted, and lazy."

Well, weight gain, dependency and loss of energy are on most anti-depressant warning labels.

Those are potential side effects and not guaranteed as you initially implied in the post above. The extent of side effects also varies in each individual (as with all medication) and can be much more manageable than depression symptoms.

Sherbear1109

I'm afraid I have no advice on this, but I would like to tip my hat to you. You actually clean the kitchen. That's a hell of a lot more help than I get and I run a business out of my home on top of taking care of kids and doing all the household chores. Seriously, she should count herself lucky to have a guy that doesn't think she should do everything for everybody because he makes most of the income. Wish you th best of luck.

phred_52

Uhmmmmm....rather lazy to me, jmo. Become neat freaks like me. Aside from trash, light dusting, don't leave much else to do. On second thought, reckon' dishwasing, laundry comes into play too.

Not married, but thought marrried folk had sit downs and compromised on things.

That_Girl

Well, in this case it doesn't seem warranted. But he has to talk to HER. I've asked if he's spoken to her about it already but get no answer. If she doesn't know, nothing can be fixed.

Sorry I didn't answer you...yes we have had several conversations/arguments in the past about it... which is why I posted her for suggestions...maybe my approach has been all wrong...

Several conversations, no change.

She doesn't care. Sorry but....she isn't going to change.

deksgrl

Well, in this case it doesn't seem warranted. But he has to talk to HER. I've asked if he's spoken to her about it already but get no answer. If she doesn't know, nothing can be fixed.

Sorry I didn't answer you...yes we have had several conversations/arguments in the past about it... which is why I posted her for suggestions...maybe my approach has been all wrong...

So, what is her reasoning for thinking that you need to do these chores when she is home all day?

AsaThorsWoman

Also, you don't want to push the PPD thing.

Docs just give you pills for that.

Guess what pills do?

Make you fat, addicted and lazy.

Than you'll have even more issues on her hand.

If she's depressed she'll tell you.

Don't try to diagnose a problem she has blatantly stated is not there.

This is not a medical issue.

It is a maturity issue.

Yeah, no, properly administered medication for legitimate depression symptoms does not make you "fat, addicted, and lazy."

Well, weight gain, dependency and loss of energy are on most anti-depressant warning labels.

Those are potential side effects and not guaranteed as you initially implied in the post above. The extent of side effects also varies in each individual (as with all medication) and can be much more manageable than depression symptoms.

It's not guaranteed, but there are very dangerous side effects.

jofjltncb6

18 more and this thread mercifully rolls off my "most recent" list.

Strong kick to the finish. Let's go!

Calliope610

Also, you don't want to push the PPD thing.

Docs just give you pills for that.

Guess what pills do?

Make you fat, addicted and lazy.

Than you'll have even more issues on her hand.

If she's depressed she'll tell you.

Don't try to diagnose a problem she has blatantly stated is not there.

This is not a medical issue.

It is a maturity issue.

Yeah, no, properly administered medication for legitimate depression symptoms does not make you "fat, addicted, and lazy."

Well, weight gain, dependency and loss of energy are on most anti-depressant warning labels.

Those are potential side effects and not guaranteed as you initially implied in the post above. The extent of side effects also varies in each individual (as with all medication) and can be much more manageable than depression symptoms.

It's not guaranteed, but there are very dangerous side effects.

show me just one prescription drug warning label that doesn't list side effects more lethal than the condition the drug is supposed to be treating and I will <insert double dog dare here>...

JonnyMacAwesome

Well, in this case it doesn't seem warranted. But he has to talk to HER. I've asked if he's spoken to her about it already but get no answer. If she doesn't know, nothing can be fixed.

Sorry I didn't answer you...yes we have had several conversations/arguments in the past about it... which is why I posted her for suggestions...maybe my approach has been all wrong...

So, what is her reasoning for thinking that you need to do these chores when she is home all day?

Because she is home looking after the baby all day and she is too tired.

deksgrl

Well, in this case it doesn't seem warranted. But he has to talk to HER. I've asked if he's spoken to her about it already but get no answer. If she doesn't know, nothing can be fixed.

Sorry I didn't answer you...yes we have had several conversations/arguments in the past about it... which is why I posted her for suggestions...maybe my approach has been all wrong...

So, what is her reasoning for thinking that you need to do these chores when she is home all day?

Because she is home looking after the baby all day and she is too tired.

She needs to grow up and wake up. Stop doing her chores.