vent--There are too many skinny people at the gym
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I think you guys are being overly harsh. This person just wants to vent.
As a person with asthma, I would have confronted "Trophy Wife" and asked her not to wear perfumes at the gym because it can cause allergic reactions in other patrons, and it's not necessary to smell good there; the gym already smells like sweat so nobody is going to notice if she has body odor--but perfume is either toxic to or a distraction for others.
There are some gyms that are more about being a hook-up joint than working out. You don't want to be at *that* gym anyway. But if you are in a normal gym, people are there to get a job done. They come in, they do their workout routine, and they leave. Small-talk will happen as people wait between sets or set up for classes, but everyone is really focused on their own agenda, not your appearance.
At my gym I have sometimes been glared at or hovered over intimidatingly for being female while free-weight lifting. But any comments on my weight have all been encouragements to continue working out. I've never had someone in a gym comment on my appearance in a way that was not supportive of my being there.
It's okay to be a little annoyed that they look so hot, to be a little jealous, but you need to direct that energy in a way that supports your goals. Don't be intimidated. Try to be inspired.
Unless an individual is a jerk to you. Then you have to chalk it up to that person's insecurity, and tell them to foist off and leave you alone--you have work to do.0 -
Couldn't agree more with this sentiment. Calling people "Joe Meathead" and "Trophy Wife" for existing in the gym... That's pretty despicable, alright.You're 40. Time to be an adult.
What does feeling insecure have to do with being an adult.. Everyone has them, at least at some point or another.
Let's build people up.. not tear them down.
So because she did it, its okay for us to?
Actually people are being far kinder to her than she was about the people who go to her gym. Telling her to grow up is no where NEAR the level of calling someone a meathead or trophy wife who wears too little clothing. In fact telling someone who calls names to grow up...well, that's pretty standard, since calling names is something a child does.0 -
Couldn't agree more with this sentiment. Calling people "Joe Meathead" and "Trophy Wife" for existing in the gym... That's pretty despicable, alright.You're 40. Time to be an adult.
What does feeling insecure have to do with being an adult.. Everyone has them, at least at some point or another.
Let's build people up.. not tear them down.
So because she did it, its okay for us to?
Telling someone to essentially grow up (due to their own admissions of being silly and all the rest they've just ranted on) =/= stereotyping or judging based on someone's appearance.
Just my 2 cents.0 -
I bet they don't like you judging them....would you be happy if they judged you by calling you names like that? Sheesh. :grumble:0
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Sometimes, around January, when the gym is so crowded because of all the new year's resolutionists, I make a wish that all the fat people taking up the equipment I need to use would just give up already.
Don't judge me, bro, I'm just insecure.0 -
OP: you need to own your own baggage.
your insecurity has NOTHING to do with the fitness level of those around you. and labeling them as "joe meathead" and "trophy wife" puts YOU in the negative light. these ppl are fit b/c they work out. and you are working out trying to achieve that, right?
now, take a step back. take a deep breath. try putting this out there like i'm willing to believe you meant to. and use your "I" phrases.
"I feel insecure at my gym" "I worry I'm being judged and so I become judgmental as a defense mechanism" "how do I stop doing that?"
the thread will go a lot better for you.0 -
When I see fat people at work with plates piled up on donut day I want to tell them to stop it. But it is their right to be a fat *kitten*. I saw a hipster in Chipotle today and wanted to tell him to stop it. Pick a different look. But that is my issue. He has a right to look stupid.
:laugh:
I have the same urges!
(sidenote- I saw the worst of two worlds the other day coming out of target- hipster guy in skinny jeans, but he was wearing them half-way down his *kitten*, like a homie. :noway: )0 -
I don't think you were being rude at all, like basically everyone above me seems to think. I'm sure there are tons of people who think that way as well and just won't admit it like you did. You weren't being rude, just stating an insecurity.
No - this: "working out next to Joe Meat head and Trophy wife" is rude. Rudeness can stem from insecurity, but that doesn't make it acceptable.
And there may be tons of people who think that way as well, but that doesn't make it less rude, just more sad.
To the OP, I echo what other people have said. Do your thing, work out, and focus on the person in the mirror.
Oh, and if the perfume thing is a major issue, you can politely ask the woman if she could wear less, or wait until after the workout to apply it. I know some people are sensitive/allergic and she won't know there's an issue if someone doesn't tell her. If you don't want to talk directly to her, mention it to the staff. You don't even have to necessarily be specific, just ask if they have or could implement a policy about colognes and perfumes because you, and possibly other members, are sensitive to them and they can make you sick.
Good luck.0 -
I think you guys are being overly harsh. This person just wants to vent.
As a person with asthma, I would have confronted "Trophy Wife" and asked her not to wear perfumes at the gym because it can cause allergic reactions in other patrons, and it's not necessary to smell good there; the gym already smells like sweat so nobody is going to notice if she has body odor--but perfume is either toxic to or a distraction for others.
There are some gyms that are more about being a hook-up joint than working out. You don't want to be at *that* gym anyway. But if you are in a normal gym, people are there to get a job done. They come in, they do their workout routine, and they leave. Small-talk will happen as people wait between sets or set up for classes, but everyone is really focused on their own agenda, not your appearance.
At my gym I have sometimes been glared at or hovered over intimidatingly for being female while free-weight lifting. But any comments on my weight have all been encouragements to continue working out. I've never had someone in a gym comment on my appearance in a way that was not supportive of my being there.
It's okay to be a little annoyed that they look so hot, to be a little jealous, but you need to direct that energy in a way that supports your goals. Don't be intimidated. Try to be inspired.
Unless an individual is a jerk to you. Then you have to chalk it up to that person's insecurity, and tell them to foist off and leave you alone--you have work to do.
There are blogs or your own newsfeed to do that...or in some cases, therapists might be a better choice.0 -
This. And let's not leave out the part where OP wanted to have these nice people banned from her nice gym because they're in shape.
Couldn't agree more with this sentiment. Calling people "Joe Meathead" and "Trophy Wife" for existing in the gym... That's pretty despicable, alright.You're 40. Time to be an adult.
What does feeling insecure have to do with being an adult.. Everyone has them, at least at some point or another.
Let's build people up.. not tear them down.
So because she did it, its okay for us to?
Actually people are being far kinder to her than she was about the people who go to her gym. Telling her to grow up is no where NEAR the level of calling someone a meathead or trophy wife who wears too little clothing. In fact telling someone who calls names to grow up...well, that's pretty standard, since calling names is something a child does.0 -
Not bashing you, OP!
If you really want a gym like that, go to Planet Fitness. Or save up your money you're spending on a gym and make your own.
Planet Fitness has pizza days, you get kicked out if you wear too little clothing and they have some sort of alarm if people are lifting too many weights or something.0 -
Sometimes, around January, when the gym is so crowded because of all the new year's resolutionists, I make a wish that all the fat people taking up the equipment I need to use would just give up already.
Don't judge me, bro, I'm just insecure.
It's okay, you're just venting, we totally understand and will now heap tons of sympathy upon you.0 -
You're 40. Time to be an adult.
Age doesnt have anything to do with this at all.
You're right, it doesn't. Let me break it down in more simplistic terms for those who lack in the area of internet comprehension.
"Grow up"0 -
Wah wah, woe is me.
The fit people worked for it. Jealousy and loathing does nothing for your physique.
Get working.0 -
You're 40. Time to be an adult.
Age doesnt have anything to do with this at all.
You're right, it doesn't. Let me break it down in more simplistic terms for those who lack in the area of internet comprehension.
"Grow up"
Do you mean grow taller?0 -
Okay, please just ignore everyone calling you bitter and jealous and rude. Clearly the idea of opening a gym for overweight people is absurd, but how you feel is totally normal. As someone said earlier, changing you attitude comes with changing your body. You're not going to feel awesome overnight, and the thought of it can sometimes make it difficult to watch people who are very fit around you!
Just try to stay positive! Make friends with people at the gym if that's your thing - they are almost always full of tips and success stories of their own.
And the middle finger to all the people on this thread who aren't understanding at all. This is a long, difficult journey that sometimes comes with weird/negative thoughts... Don't let them deter you.0 -
No one there is focusing on you, because they are there for them. Maybe you should try the same thing.0
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Not bashing you, OP!
If you really want a gym like that, go to Planet Fitness. Or save up your money you're spending on a gym and make your own.
Planet Fitness has pizza days, you get kicked out if you wear too little clothing and they have some sort of alarm if people are lifting too many weights or something.
People keep saying Planet Fitness - there are still very fit people who go to PF.0 -
You're 40. Time to be an adult.
Age doesnt have anything to do with this at all.
You're right, it doesn't. Let me break it down in more simplistic terms for those who lack in the area of internet comprehension.
"Grow up"
Do you mean grow taller?
precisely.0 -
Sorry you are insecure but everyone has a right to be there. Just stick your headphones on and do what you came to do and then get the hell out of there.
Or you could just stay at home and work out. That way when you lose 25lbs you'll be one of the people in the gym people like you are complaining about lol.
Not gonna jump down your throat- I get where you're coming from, I understand that they make you feel bad about yourself, but honestly, it's your problem, and those folks have worked hard to get where they are. And if you stay focused on yourself you'll get there too.0 -
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I know that that sounds stupid but I wish someone would open a gym where you have to be at least 25 pounds overweight to join. I go to a pretty nice one and overall people are pretty nice but when you are currently proud that you know you are exercising because your stomach fat has separated into two distinct groups working out next to Joe Meat head and Trophy wife wearing too much perfume and too little clothing can just make you feel less good about being there.
I know, I know, I am being silly and I should just ignore distractions like this but am I alone? Does anyone else feel just a little more insecure working out amongst the already insanely fit?
Maybe you think that people are as judgmental about your physical state as you obviously are of them. Not everyone assigns negative stereotype labels to people they see around them like 'Joe Meat head', 'Trophy wife' or 'Fatty Fatty Boombalatty'.0 -
You're 40. Time to be an adult.
Age doesnt have anything to do with this at all.
You're right, it doesn't. Let me break it down in more simplistic terms for those who lack in the area of internet comprehension.
"Grow up"
Do you mean grow taller?
precisely.
i am internet challenged, how is that going to help?0 -
Why the *kitten* have we not already burned this person at the stake?! Seriously?!? This special snowflake needs to stoned for scorning the skinny people! Someone start digging the hole...0
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If you all think she's being rude, most of your are being rude right back! Talk about hypocrites. If you don't have anything nice to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. Jeesh, just be the bigger person if you think she was being so rude and ignore the post.
I'm sorry OP for all the comments. It's not like you were being malicious or anything. Everyone just needs to give it a rest and move on.0 -
Instead of judging and allowing your own insecurities to take over, try being friendly to these folks and maybe even speaking to some of them. If they're fit and in shape, they obviously know what they're doing and you never know, you may just make a friend or two who can help keep you motivated in the right direction.0
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Give her a break people, learning to feel differently about yourself is part of the process!
I understand feeling badly about oneself--I started out going to a gym when I was 50 pounds overweight. However, no one at my gym ever made fun of me, called me fat, or hassled me. I received nothing but kindness and support--and some great advice from both women and men. (and no, I don't belong to a gym that caters to any particular "type" of person--there is a wide variety of body types at my gym.)
30 pounds down, I still struggle with how I feel about myself and my body image...but I'm certainly not calling men with bodybuilder physiques "Joe Meathead" or assuming that every skinny perfume-wearing woman at the gym is a trophy wife. How would the OP feel if those people made fun of her for not being fit? Pot, meet kettle.
In my humble opinion, treating oneself AND others (particularly strangers, of whom you probably know NOTHING other than their physical appearance) with respect and kindness will take a person much further than stereotyping. A positive attitude can really help with motivation to get fit, strong, and healthy.
To the OP: I wish you success in your quest for better health. Please keep in mind that just because someone is "skinny" doesn't mean they are not insecure or dealing with low self-esteem, or that they deserve to be made into some kind of stereotype.0 -
Okay, please just ignore everyone calling you bitter and jealous and rude. Clearly the idea of opening a gym for overweight people is absurd, but how you feel is totally normal. As someone said earlier, changing you attitude comes with changing your body. You're not going to feel awesome overnight, and the thought of it can sometimes make it difficult to watch people who are very fit around you!
Just try to stay positive! Make friends with people at the gym if that's your thing - they are almost always full of tips and success stories of their own.
And the middle finger to all the people on this thread who aren't understanding at all. This is a long, difficult journey that sometimes comes with weird/negative thoughts... Don't let them deter you.
agreed its unfortunate how the post was worded thats all.0
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