vent--There are too many skinny people at the gym

LAT1963

I think you guys are being overly harsh. This person just wants to vent.

As a person with asthma, I would have confronted "Trophy Wife" and asked her not to wear perfumes at the gym because it can cause allergic reactions in other patrons, and it's not necessary to smell good there; the gym already smells like sweat so nobody is going to notice if she has body odor--but perfume is either toxic to or a distraction for others.

There are some gyms that are more about being a hook-up joint than working out. You don't want to be at *that* gym anyway. But if you are in a normal gym, people are there to get a job done. They come in, they do their workout routine, and they leave. Small-talk will happen as people wait between sets or set up for classes, but everyone is really focused on their own agenda, not your appearance.

At my gym I have sometimes been glared at or hovered over intimidatingly for being female while free-weight lifting. But any comments on my weight have all been encouragements to continue working out. I've never had someone in a gym comment on my appearance in a way that was not supportive of my being there.

It's okay to be a little annoyed that they look so hot, to be a little jealous, but you need to direct that energy in a way that supports your goals. Don't be intimidated. Try to be inspired.

Unless an individual is a jerk to you. Then you have to chalk it up to that person's insecurity, and tell them to foist off and leave you alone--you have work to do.

Achrya

You're 40. Time to be an adult.

What does feeling insecure have to do with being an adult.. Everyone has them, at least at some point or another.

Let's build people up.. not tear them down.

Couldn't agree more with this sentiment. Calling people "Joe Meathead" and "Trophy Wife" for existing in the gym... That's pretty despicable, alright.

So because she did it, its okay for us to?

Actually people are being far kinder to her than she was about the people who go to her gym. Telling her to grow up is no where NEAR the level of calling someone a meathead or trophy wife who wears too little clothing. In fact telling someone who calls names to grow up...well, that's pretty standard, since calling names is something a child does.

PikaKnight

You're 40. Time to be an adult.

What does feeling insecure have to do with being an adult.. Everyone has them, at least at some point or another.

Let's build people up.. not tear them down.

Couldn't agree more with this sentiment. Calling people "Joe Meathead" and "Trophy Wife" for existing in the gym... That's pretty despicable, alright.

So because she did it, its okay for us to?

Telling someone to essentially grow up (due to their own admissions of being silly and all the rest they've just ranted on) =/= stereotyping or judging based on someone's appearance.

Just my 2 cents.

soccerkon26

I bet they don't like you judging them....would you be happy if they judged you by calling you names like that? Sheesh. :grumble:

levitateme

Sometimes, around January, when the gym is so crowded because of all the new year's resolutionists, I make a wish that all the fat people taking up the equipment I need to use would just give up already.

Don't judge me, bro, I'm just insecure.

maab_connor

OP: you need to own your own baggage.

your insecurity has NOTHING to do with the fitness level of those around you. and labeling them as "joe meathead" and "trophy wife" puts YOU in the negative light. these ppl are fit b/c they work out. and you are working out trying to achieve that, right?

now, take a step back. take a deep breath. try putting this out there like i'm willing to believe you meant to. and use your "I" phrases.

"I feel insecure at my gym" "I worry I'm being judged and so I become judgmental as a defense mechanism" "how do I stop doing that?"

the thread will go a lot better for you.

PhearlessPhreaks

When I see fat people at work with plates piled up on donut day I want to tell them to stop it. But it is their right to be a fat *kitten*. I saw a hipster in Chipotle today and wanted to tell him to stop it. Pick a different look. But that is my issue. He has a right to look stupid.

:laugh:

I have the same urges!

(sidenote- I saw the worst of two worlds the other day coming out of target- hipster guy in skinny jeans, but he was wearing them half-way down his *kitten*, like a homie. :noway: )

TechNerd42

I don't think you were being rude at all, like basically everyone above me seems to think. I'm sure there are tons of people who think that way as well and just won't admit it like you did. You weren't being rude, just stating an insecurity.

No - this: "working out next to Joe Meat head and Trophy wife" is rude. Rudeness can stem from insecurity, but that doesn't make it acceptable.

And there may be tons of people who think that way as well, but that doesn't make it less rude, just more sad.

To the OP, I echo what other people have said. Do your thing, work out, and focus on the person in the mirror.

Oh, and if the perfume thing is a major issue, you can politely ask the woman if she could wear less, or wait until after the workout to apply it. I know some people are sensitive/allergic and she won't know there's an issue if someone doesn't tell her. If you don't want to talk directly to her, mention it to the staff. You don't even have to necessarily be specific, just ask if they have or could implement a policy about colognes and perfumes because you, and possibly other members, are sensitive to them and they can make you sick.

Good luck.

PikaKnight

I think you guys are being overly harsh. This person just wants to vent.

As a person with asthma, I would have confronted "Trophy Wife" and asked her not to wear perfumes at the gym because it can cause allergic reactions in other patrons, and it's not necessary to smell good there; the gym already smells like sweat so nobody is going to notice if she has body odor--but perfume is either toxic to or a distraction for others.

There are some gyms that are more about being a hook-up joint than working out. You don't want to be at *that* gym anyway. But if you are in a normal gym, people are there to get a job done. They come in, they do their workout routine, and they leave. Small-talk will happen as people wait between sets or set up for classes, but everyone is really focused on their own agenda, not your appearance.

At my gym I have sometimes been glared at or hovered over intimidatingly for being female while free-weight lifting. But any comments on my weight have all been encouragements to continue working out. I've never had someone in a gym comment on my appearance in a way that was not supportive of my being there.

It's okay to be a little annoyed that they look so hot, to be a little jealous, but you need to direct that energy in a way that supports your goals. Don't be intimidated. Try to be inspired.

Unless an individual is a jerk to you. Then you have to chalk it up to that person's insecurity, and tell them to foist off and leave you alone--you have work to do.

There are blogs or your own newsfeed to do that...or in some cases, therapists might be a better choice.

whitebalance

You're 40. Time to be an adult.

What does feeling insecure have to do with being an adult.. Everyone has them, at least at some point or another.

Let's build people up.. not tear them down.

Couldn't agree more with this sentiment. Calling people "Joe Meathead" and "Trophy Wife" for existing in the gym... That's pretty despicable, alright.

So because she did it, its okay for us to?

Actually people are being far kinder to her than she was about the people who go to her gym. Telling her to grow up is no where NEAR the level of calling someone a meathead or trophy wife who wears too little clothing. In fact telling someone who calls names to grow up...well, that's pretty standard, since calling names is something a child does.

This. And let's not leave out the part where OP wanted to have these nice people banned from her nice gym because they're in shape.

Chellellelle

Not bashing you, OP!

If you really want a gym like that, go to Planet Fitness. Or save up your money you're spending on a gym and make your own.

Planet Fitness has pizza days, you get kicked out if you wear too little clothing and they have some sort of alarm if people are lifting too many weights or something.

Achrya

Sometimes, around January, when the gym is so crowded because of all the new year's resolutionists, I make a wish that all the fat people taking up the equipment I need to use would just give up already.

Don't judge me, bro, I'm just insecure.

It's okay, you're just venting, we totally understand and will now heap tons of sympathy upon you.

LolBroScience

You're 40. Time to be an adult.

Age doesnt have anything to do with this at all.

You're right, it doesn't. Let me break it down in more simplistic terms for those who lack in the area of internet comprehension.

"Grow up"

ironanimal

Wah wah, woe is me.

The fit people worked for it. Jealousy and loathing does nothing for your physique.

Get working.

Therealobi1

You're 40. Time to be an adult.

Age doesnt have anything to do with this at all.

You're right, it doesn't. Let me break it down in more simplistic terms for those who lack in the area of internet comprehension.

"Grow up"

Do you mean grow taller?

angiez93

Okay, please just ignore everyone calling you bitter and jealous and rude. Clearly the idea of opening a gym for overweight people is absurd, but how you feel is totally normal. As someone said earlier, changing you attitude comes with changing your body. You're not going to feel awesome overnight, and the thought of it can sometimes make it difficult to watch people who are very fit around you!

Just try to stay positive! Make friends with people at the gym if that's your thing - they are almost always full of tips and success stories of their own.

And the middle finger to all the people on this thread who aren't understanding at all. This is a long, difficult journey that sometimes comes with weird/negative thoughts... Don't let them deter you.

kaseyr1505

No one there is focusing on you, because they are there for them. Maybe you should try the same thing.

3dogsrunning

Not bashing you, OP!

If you really want a gym like that, go to Planet Fitness. Or save up your money you're spending on a gym and make your own.

Planet Fitness has pizza days, you get kicked out if you wear too little clothing and they have some sort of alarm if people are lifting too many weights or something.

People keep saying Planet Fitness - there are still very fit people who go to PF.

LolBroScience

You're 40. Time to be an adult.

Age doesnt have anything to do with this at all.

You're right, it doesn't. Let me break it down in more simplistic terms for those who lack in the area of internet comprehension.

"Grow up"

Do you mean grow taller?

precisely.