Body shaming at its absolute worst... thoughts please.

Willowwisp23

Oh wow, people wear what they WANT?! And they don't apologise for their fatness and force your poor eyes to look? Christ almighty what a *****. ***** needs to worry about herself and realize that other people aren't here to decorate her world.

they need to care about themselves, dress appropriately and present their best to the world.

As I said, other people are not here to decorate your world. Spending time commenting on the appearance of others and dictating to others what to and not to wear is time wasted.

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

Seriously, if you have not figured out the world I feel sorry for you. Try getting a job rolling in for an interview with rolls and cellulite hanging out. Looks matter.

I love my obese friends, does not mean I enjoy it when they let it all hang out. Dress appropriate for your age/size/build.

The girls in the article were going on holiday, not for a job interview.

I understand that

but i was being attacked for saying people should dress appropriate at all ages weight and sizes

job interview, VK, whatever, dress right!

Dress right by your standards? I pass probably hundreds of people a day on my way to work, how do I please them all?? I'm confused!!

PikaKnight

Oh wow, people wear what they WANT?! And they don't apologise for their fatness and force your poor eyes to look? Christ almighty what a *****. ***** needs to worry about herself and realize that other people aren't here to decorate her world.

they need to care about themselves, dress appropriately and present their best to the world.

As I said, other people are not here to decorate your world. Spending time commenting on the appearance of others and dictating to others what to and not to wear is time wasted.

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

Seriously, if you have not figured out the world I feel sorry for you. Try getting a job rolling in for an interview with rolls and cellulite hanging out. Looks matter.

I love my obese friends, does not mean I enjoy it when they let it all hang out. Dress appropriate for your age/size/build.

The girls in the article were going on holiday, not for a job interview.

I understand that

but i was being attacked for saying people should dress appropriate at all ages weight and sizes

job interview, VK, whatever, dress right!

Profile pic, dress right!. Yeah, see how dumb that sounded?

Mykaelous

I judge people by the standard that they set forth for themselves. If someone finds that being honest is a virtue and they lie, I will call them on their hypocrisy. In the same manner if someone believes that being healthy is a virtue and they are not taking steps to be healthy then I will again call them on it. Life is of course too short to do this with strangers, but with friends and family I think that to be a good relative/friend means to be open and honest with those that you love and to attempt to help them achieve the goals they set for themselves. I have a friend who weighs 365 lb's and doesn't care about his weight or health, so it's not something that we talk about. However when we(my friends and I) all decide to do an activity that he can not participate in because of his weight(rock-climbing, going on rides with a 300 lb limit), when he complains I will simply say "you are the one who is making the decision not to be able to do the things that we are doing, so don't get mad at us."

Iwishyouwell

Being shamed is what got me wanting to be healthy in the first place. But I'm not a delicate little flower so....

I was not shamed as a fat kid, surprisingly. I can count on one hand how many times I was poked fun at. Hell a boy once made a crack about my boy boobs in the sixth grade in front of the entire class, and immediately looked sorry for it and apologized to me right after class. I was never fat shamed at home or by family.

But I had lots of self inner shame. Somehow, despite no abuse or bullying, I just knew that being fat was all wrong. It didn't fit into my perception of self when I became aware that I was fat at the age of 11. Every day after it felt like I woke up in somebody else's body. I only finally escaped obesity (for a few years at least) because the state of fatness was just extraordinarily destructive to my sense of self, my esteem.

I can't speak for anyone else, but being told that it was alright to be fat would NEVER have worked for me. Hating being fat, and yes the shame of the loss of control, of how fat looked and felt, has always been the greatest driving force for me toward battling this problem. Anything less and I would never, ever have lost it.

paperpudding

Oh wow, people wear what they WANT?! And they don't apologise for their fatness and force your poor eyes to look? Christ almighty what a *****. ***** needs to worry about herself and realize that other people aren't here to decorate her world.

they need to care about themselves, dress appropriately and present their best to the world.

As I said, other people are not here to decorate your world. Spending time commenting on the appearance of others and dictating to others what to and not to wear is time wasted.

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

Seriously, if you have not figured out the world I feel sorry for you. Try getting a job rolling in for an interview with rolls and cellulite hanging out. Looks matter.

I love my obese friends, does not mean I enjoy it when they let it all hang out. Dress appropriate for your age/size/build.

The girls in the article were going on holiday, not for a job interview.

Yes I don't think anyone is denying there are times when one needs to dress 'appropriately' ,meaning dress for the expectations of other people - job interviews being one of them,.

At a job interview it matters what other people think of your presentation.
At the beach, it doesn't.
This seems a fairly obvious distinction to me - no-one is suggesting going to a job interview with 'rolls and cellulite hanging out'
For that matter no one is suggesting going to an interview with casual shorts and lots of flesh showing if you are skinny either.

Completely irrelevant comparison.


ETA I don't get what "think of the children" means - I would like my children to see all body shapes enjoying life, wearing whatever clothing they choose (when appropriate, as outlined above)
In a setting where it is suitable for children to see skinny people wearing shorts or bikinis (you know, like a beach holiday) then it is suitable for them to see obese people doing likewise.

transientcanuck

I will never understand why people care so much (or at all) about bodies that are not theirs.

^^This

jofjltncb6

I went to the beach today and saw all kinds of people. Thin, obese, in shape, not in shape etc. Everyone was having a great time. Women of all sizes in 1 and in 2 piece suits. They appeared to be comfortable with how they were presenting themselves. Now I may have my opinion on what I thought of each but that doesn't matter. What matters is how they feel about how they look. I have no right to tell people what to wear regardless of what I think.

Impossible.

You should have told each of them about the MFP forums where they could properly learn how they are supposed to feel about themselves.

jofjltncb6

I went to the beach today and saw all kinds of people. Thin, obese, in shape, not in shape etc. Everyone was having a great time. Women of all sizes in 1 and in 2 piece suits. They appeared to be comfortable with how they were presenting themselves. Now I may have my opinion on what I thought of each but that doesn't matter. What matters is how they feel about how they look. I have no right to tell people what to wear regardless of what I think.

Impossible.

You should have told each of them about the MFP forums where they could properly learn how they are supposed to feel about themselves.

That was an option but I was highly outnumbered. I could have ended up tying itt from my hospital bed. Plus I was kind of busy eating sour patch kids and BBQ chips.

You made the right call.

3dogsrunning

I went to the beach today and saw all kinds of people. Thin, obese, in shape, not in shape etc. Everyone was having a great time. Women of all sizes in 1 and in 2 piece suits. They appeared to be comfortable with how they were presenting themselves. Now I may have my opinion on what I thought of each but that doesn't matter. What matters is how they feel about how they look. I have no right to tell people what to wear regardless of what I think.

Impossible.

You should have told each of them about the MFP forums where they could properly learn how they are supposed to feel about themselves.

That was an option but I was highly outnumbered. I could have ended up tying itt from my hospital bed. Plus I was kind of busy eating sour patch kids and BBQ chips.

You made the right call.

I wouldn't exactly say the "right" call. I mean, BBQ chips?

sabified

I went to the beach today and saw all kinds of people. Thin, obese, in shape, not in shape etc. Everyone was having a great time. Women of all sizes in 1 and in 2 piece suits. They appeared to be comfortable with how they were presenting themselves. Now I may have my opinion on what I thought of each but that doesn't matter. What matters is how they feel about how they look. I have no right to tell people what to wear regardless of what I think.

Impossible.

You should have told each of them about the MFP forums where they could properly learn how they are supposed to feel about themselves.

That was an option but I was highly outnumbered. I could have ended up tying itt from my hospital bed. Plus I was kind of busy eating sour patch kids and BBQ chips.

You made the right call.

I wouldn't exactly say the "right" call. I mean, BBQ chips?

Oh yea. So good!!!

Apparently ketchup chips are not a thing in the states??? And if you want to have ketchup chips you literally need to put ketchup on your chips... what's that about??

And I've also recently learned that not everyone knows about all dressed... I don't know if they're available and just not celebrated the way they should be or if this is another thing that isn't available in the States... but honestly, if they're there, go try some.

Not hating on BBQ, but honestly, there are better options out there.

emz247

I think we've all done it at some time or another, including to ourselves. That said, it's not a thing we really *should* do. I hate mean nasty articles; all they do is make people feel like crap. Fat is not a moral failing. There are lots of reasons that make people fat (or skinny), and it's wrong to judge and point fingers. If we're in a position to advise someone at all (usually because that person has asked for help, or is complaining about their body and doesn't know what to do) then I think it's best to advise for health, such as recommending eating more nonstarchy vegetables and taking a walk every day, and let them deal with any size issues themselves or with their doctor.... unless they specifically come to you saying "I don't like my weight, do you know how I can change it." but then that advice should be offered in a nonjudgmental way and for the ultimate goal of improving health rather than just focusing on looks.

First reply on the thread and it summed up my thoughts exactly!

joebooth28

"One way to start might be by calling a fat girl a fat girl. No apology required."

---

Wow, really...the author here is completely off base and really truly shows that type of person she is. Before starting my weight loss journey I was told that I needed to "put the fork down, because I was fat..." Although I completely understood and acknowledged my problem needed addressed, I was so mad that the point was essentially lost.

Do we simply tell an anorexic... "Your too skinny eat a hamburger." Does that really get you anywhere, does that work?

Instead I talked at length with a person that is very close to me. She expressed concern about a number of things. My health, my self confidence, my family. Ultimately she said something that will always stick with me. She said, "Your a wonderful person...I don't want your weight to stop you from being happy, losing exciting opportunities you may have had otherwise because of being ashamed, I love you and only want to see the best for you and in you.. you deserve it."

When we were done talking I felt motivated, not bad or upset. 44 lbs lost later and I am still just as motivated and excited about continuing to change my life.

If you think you are so perfect yourself that you can openly mock the problems of others... you are the one with a problem. We all have our struggles in life.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I went to the beach today and saw all kinds of people. Thin, obese, in shape, not in shape etc. Everyone was having a great time. Women of all sizes in 1 and in 2 piece suits. They appeared to be comfortable with how they were presenting themselves. Now I may have my opinion on what I thought of each but that doesn't matter. What matters is how they feel about how they look. I have no right to tell people what to wear regardless of what I think.

Impossible.

You should have told each of them about the MFP forums where they could properly learn how they are supposed to feel about themselves.

That was an option but I was highly outnumbered. I could have ended up tying itt from my hospital bed. Plus I was kind of busy eating sour patch kids and BBQ chips.

You made the right call.

I wouldn't exactly say the "right" call. I mean, BBQ chips?

Oh yea. So good!!!

Apparently ketchup chips are not a thing in the states??? And if you want to have ketchup chips you literally need to put ketchup on your chips... what's that about??

And I've also recently learned that not everyone knows about all dressed... I don't know if they're available and just not celebrated the way they should be or if this is another thing that isn't available in the States... but honestly, if they're there, go try some.

Not hating on BBQ, but honestly, there are better options out there.

I've seen ketchup chips here occasionally. Not being a huge ketchup fan I've never tried them.

3dogsrunning

I went to the beach today and saw all kinds of people. Thin, obese, in shape, not in shape etc. Everyone was having a great time. Women of all sizes in 1 and in 2 piece suits. They appeared to be comfortable with how they were presenting themselves. Now I may have my opinion on what I thought of each but that doesn't matter. What matters is how they feel about how they look. I have no right to tell people what to wear regardless of what I think.

Impossible.

You should have told each of them about the MFP forums where they could properly learn how they are supposed to feel about themselves.

That was an option but I was highly outnumbered. I could have ended up tying itt from my hospital bed. Plus I was kind of busy eating sour patch kids and BBQ chips.

You made the right call.

I wouldn't exactly say the "right" call. I mean, BBQ chips?

Oh yea. So good!!!

Apparently ketchup chips are not a thing in the states??? And if you want to have ketchup chips you literally need to put ketchup on your chips... what's that about??

And I've also recently learned that not everyone knows about all dressed... I don't know if they're available and just not celebrated the way they should be or if this is another thing that isn't available in the States... but honestly, if they're there, go try some.

Not hating on BBQ, but honestly, there are better options out there.

I've seen ketchup chips here occasionally. Not being a huge ketchup fan I've never tried them.

It's like I don't even know you!

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I went to the beach today and saw all kinds of people. Thin, obese, in shape, not in shape etc. Everyone was having a great time. Women of all sizes in 1 and in 2 piece suits. They appeared to be comfortable with how they were presenting themselves. Now I may have my opinion on what I thought of each but that doesn't matter. What matters is how they feel about how they look. I have no right to tell people what to wear regardless of what I think.

Impossible.

You should have told each of them about the MFP forums where they could properly learn how they are supposed to feel about themselves.

That was an option but I was highly outnumbered. I could have ended up tying itt from my hospital bed. Plus I was kind of busy eating sour patch kids and BBQ chips.

You made the right call.

I wouldn't exactly say the "right" call. I mean, BBQ chips?

Oh yea. So good!!!

Apparently ketchup chips are not a thing in the states??? And if you want to have ketchup chips you literally need to put ketchup on your chips... what's that about??

And I've also recently learned that not everyone knows about all dressed... I don't know if they're available and just not celebrated the way they should be or if this is another thing that isn't available in the States... but honestly, if they're there, go try some.

Not hating on BBQ, but honestly, there are better options out there.

I've seen ketchup chips here occasionally. Not being a huge ketchup fan I've never tried them.

It's like I don't even know you!

:laugh:

I'm also not a huge chips fan. I like them, but I rarely spend my calories on them.