Nagging about saving money for IVF

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Twins?

bugaboo_sue

Hmm... or he could actually have a real addiction to spending money that actually impairs his ability to recognize how his actions are impeding him.

Or he really and truly is not on the same page as her. If he had an addiction to spending money he'd be spending it on a lot more than video games, gas, booze and chew. If he was truly on board and it was as important to him as it is to her he would do whatever it took to save the money.

warriorprincessdi

LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS

I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.

[/quote]

selfish (ˈsɛlfɪʃ)

— adj
1. chiefly concerned with one's own interest, advantage, etc, esp to the total exclusion of the interests of others
2. relating to or characterized by self-interest

MireyGal76

show previous quotes

As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

Look Look Look its an adult, has an issue and is speaking to her husband and not looking for self validation from strangers

why are you so invested in this?

DSTMT

So adopting a child isn't rescuing them from the burdens and heartache of a parentless and loveless life? Saving them from foster care, the streets, and helping to instill family values and bonding?

How motherly of you to pass on all the lemons because you want a "regular" life.

Well, that's a gross misinterpretation of what I said, but ok. You clearly aren't interested in anything other than being smug because you successfully adopted and "saved a life".

My point, again, in regards to that is I wasn't going through the process to get a pat on the back for being a hero and "rescuing" a baby, and I don't feel that's really a healthy attitude to have when raising a child, like they're supposed to be grateful to you forever because you picked them up off the curb and took them in out of the magnanimous goodness of your heart. I just wanted a baby, but they pretty well scared us into giving up by the time the process was three quarters finished with horror stories of what we'd be in for.

laynerich15

show previous quotes

As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

Look Look Look its an adult, has an issue and is speaking to her husband and not looking for self validation from strangers

why are you so invested in this?

Fun

warriorprincessdi

Fun

:laugh:

PurringMyrrh

show previous quotes

LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS

I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.

show previous quotes

As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

then you probably won't be posting on a public forum then (which is wise- because I agree with you fully)

but when you do... then- well it's fair game.

:drinker:

PurringMyrrh

show previous quotes

As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

Look Look Look its an adult, has an issue and is speaking to her husband and not looking for self validation from strangers

why are you so invested in this?

Fun

It's amazing to watch the delusion spread like wildfire, aint it?

AtmaKing

show previous quotes

Hmm... or he could actually have a real addiction to spending money that actually impairs his ability to recognize how his actions are impeding him.

Or he really and truly is not on the same page as her. If he had an addiction to spending money he'd be spending it on a lot more than video games, gas, booze and chew. If he was truly on board and it was as important to him as it is to her he would do whatever it took to save the money.

QFT

odusgolp

Ya know what else is fun??

Barbellarella_

Being that we don't know you two on a close personal level, I don't think we can fairly access his intentions or give fair advice on your home life. There's always two sides.

I do however wish you the best in your endeavor to becoming a mother. If you are both on board, and can afford your options, I hope you are successful.

laynerich15

show previous quotes

As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

Look Look Look its an adult, has an issue and is speaking to her husband and not looking for self validation from strangers

why are you so invested in this?

Fun

It's amazing to watch the delusion spread like wildfire, aint it?

Yep, I have zero problem being the bad guy

like I said earlier, I wonder what her husband would think about this thread.

I can say if I found a thread like this that my partner started I will be p**ssed

MireyGal76

show previous quotes

LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS

I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.

selfish (ˈsɛlfɪʃ)

— adj
1. chiefly concerned with one's own interest, advantage, etc, esp to the total exclusion of the interests of others
2. relating to or characterized by self-interest

"selfish" isn't always a bad thing.

Taking care of your own body, is in a way, selfish. It's making sure your body is able to meet your needs. And it's very necessary.

Taking care of primary needs, is selfish, and required.
So, OP, don't take that as an insult, so much as a recognition that this is a need in your world (and hopefully in your husband's too).

JoRocka

^^^ Oh- lord- thank you. you get it.

show previous quotes

LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS

I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.

selfish (ˈsɛlfɪʃ)

— adj
1. chiefly concerned with one's own interest, advantage, etc, esp to the total exclusion of the interests of others
2. relating to or characterized by self-interest

and copy/pasting a definition of a word only proves my point.
YOU want kids. it is in YOUR interest alone.

sigh. I am not saying you're wrong for wanting kids- but the reality is the only reason people have kids is because of their own base self serving desire to do so. Much like my base self serving desire is to continue to go to the gym when i want- be gone for as long as i want- and do all the things I love doing- without having to worry about anyone else. Is what I want selfish? you bet- because it's what I want.

Much like what you want is to produce one.
you aren't wrong.
I'm not wrong.

It's a self serving wish. neither good nor bad. But let's be real- it's a self serving wish. Difference is I readily accept this and you seem to think otherwise.

odusgolp

All she wanted to do was be a GOOD mom and now look at what y'all have done. She's hyperventilating and incapable of loving EVER AGAIN!

You all are SO MEAN!

PurringMyrrh

show previous quotes

As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

Look Look Look its an adult, has an issue and is speaking to her husband and not looking for self validation from strangers

why are you so invested in this?

Fun

It's amazing to watch the delusion spread like wildfire, aint it?

Yep, I have zero problem being the bad guy

like I said earlier, I wonder what her husband would think about this thread.

I can say if I found a thread like this that my partner started I will be p**ssed

No way. Haven't you repeatedly heard he's on board with this whole thing and would agree with everything she's stating? "Why lie?"

Jennisin1

So much denial... if he was really totally on board with this program, he would not spend the money. Period.

I say, get yourselves into marriage therapy (you can deny that you need it all you want, but you just posted a very personal issue on the internet regarding your relationship).

likitisplit

show previous quotes

LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS

I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.

show previous quotes

As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

then you probably won't be posting on a public forum then (which is wise- because I agree with you fully)

but when you do... then- well it's fair game.

Having kids isn't a selfish act. It's a biological imperative that is one of the five things defining living organisms from the non-living. It's right up there with consuming energy and maintaining homeostasis.

warriorprincessdi

^^^ Oh- lord- thank you. you get it.

show previous quotes

LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS

I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.

selfish (ˈsɛlfɪʃ)

— adj
1. chiefly concerned with one's own interest, advantage, etc, esp to the total exclusion of the interests of others
2. relating to or characterized by self-interest

and copy/pasting a definition of a word only proves my point.
YOU want kids. it is in YOUR interest alone.

sigh. I am not saying you're wrong for wanting kids- but the reality is the only reason people have kids is because of their own base self serving desire to do so. Much like my base self serving desire is to continue to go to the gym when i want- be gone for as long as i want- and do all the things I love doing- without having to worry about anyone else. Is what I want selfish? you bet- because it's what I want.

Much like what you want is to produce one.
you aren't wrong.
I'm not wrong.

It's a self serving wish. neither good nor bad. But let's be real- it's a self serving wish. Difference is I readily accept this and you seem to think otherwise.

That is why I pasted the definition.... I was agreeing with OP being selfish, but she doesn't think she is. It isn't always a bad thing..... It just is

MomTo3Lovez

wow just wow lol

ETA: I am selfish and have 3 kids all biological. I feel that you do what you feel is right for you IVF, adoption, childless, if it's what you want/desire and you are happy then that's what matters and as long as you can afford it in the now and in the future because the expense of having a child no matter how you get there is an expense that does not go away.

laynerich15

show previous quotes

As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

Look Look Look its an adult, has an issue and is speaking to her husband and not looking for self validation from strangers

why are you so invested in this?

Fun

It's amazing to watch the delusion spread like wildfire, aint it?

Yep, I have zero problem being the bad guy

like I said earlier, I wonder what her husband would think about this thread.

I can say if I found a thread like this that my partner started I will be p**ssed

No way. Haven't you repeatedly heard he's on board with this whole thing and would agree with everything she's stating? "Why lie?"

Nooooo not someone lying on the internet. would never happen.

sullus

show previous quotes

LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS

I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.

As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

then you probably won't be posting on a public forum then (which is wise- because I agree with you fully)

but when you do... then- well it's fair game.

Having kids isn't a selfish act. It's a biological imperative that is one of the five things defining living organisms from the non-living. It's right up there with consuming energy and maintaining homeostasis.

Wut?

odusgolp

You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.
You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.
You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.
You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.
You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.
You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.

JLHNU212

Oh yes, and one more thing, to those that are dealing with infertility and being selfish and still wanting a baby, I would LOVE to be your friend, as I am currently in the very selfish process of starting IVF treatments!

sullus

You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.
You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.
You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.
You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.
You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.
You're Selfish.
No, I'm Selfless.

Maybe you can "Bugs Bunny" the OP .. Duck Season .. Rabbit Season ...

warriorprincessdi

selfless (ˈsɛlflɪs)

— adj
having little concern for one's own interests


*********

selfish (ˈsɛlfɪʃ)

— adj
1. chiefly concerned with one's own interest, advantage, etc, esp to the total exclusion of the interests of others
2. relating to or characterized by self-interest



Just so we are clear LOL

JoRocka

show previous quotes

^^^ Oh- lord- thank you. you get it.

LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS

I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.

selfish (ˈsɛlfɪʃ)

— adj
1. chiefly concerned with one's own interest, advantage, etc, esp to the total exclusion of the interests of others
2. relating to or characterized by self-interest

and copy/pasting a definition of a word only proves my point.
YOU want kids. it is in YOUR interest alone.

sigh. I am not saying you're wrong for wanting kids- but the reality is the only reason people have kids is because of their own base self serving desire to do so. Much like my base self serving desire is to continue to go to the gym when i want- be gone for as long as i want- and do all the things I love doing- without having to worry about anyone else. Is what I want selfish? you bet- because it's what I want.

Much like what you want is to produce one.
you aren't wrong.
I'm not wrong.

It's a self serving wish. neither good nor bad. But let's be real- it's a self serving wish. Difference is I readily accept this and you seem to think otherwise.

That is why I pasted the definition.... I was agreeing with OP being selfish, but she doesn't think she is. It isn't always a bad thing..... It just is

werd- sorry- I got mixed up - I thought you weren't the person who original posted- this is what I get for being lazy LMAO

SunofaBeach14

show previous quotes

LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS

I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.

As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

then you probably won't be posting on a public forum then (which is wise- because I agree with you fully)

but when you do... then- well it's fair game.

Having kids isn't a selfish act. It's a biological imperative that is one of the five things defining living organisms from the non-living. It's right up there with consuming energy and maintaining homeostasis.

you make sex sound so hawt

laynerich15

You just don't understand