Can your SO access your phone?

jess7386

Yep. We husband and I both have the locks & fingerprint options on our phones... we actually have both our fingerprints saved in each other's phones. This is usually for more practical reasons like when he is driving/wants me to read something on his phone.

We don't have access to each other's email acccounts (though I prettymuch use similar passwords for anything), but I'd have no problem opening mine in front of him. I also have no desire to see his, and if I were concerned, I'm sure he'd be happy to oblige me as well.

The secrecy thing is no fun. I think if you commit to sharing your life with someone, you can at least share your phone password.

elv1ra

i think its ****ing nuts that people commit to sharing their lives and beds with someone but not their phones. wtf.

shadowofender

I don't even understand why one person would answer the phone/text message for another person. If I'm calling John about something, why would I want his wife or SO to answer?? If he can't answer at the moment, let it roll into voicemail and he can call me back. But why should I have to have a conversation with a person I didn't call in the first place?

Valid point. In my situation, if someone is trying to reach me or the BF, it's something either of us can answer (most of the time it's family asking about when something is happening, etc.) or if its a text its easy enough to type back a message. More often than not, for us, it's a text. Thats just my generation. Instant gratification and all that.

PikaKnight

This...

I'm so baffled by the idea that someone would ask their SO what they did/who they talked to that day and if they talked about anything interesting and then still look thru the phone...I do not believe it's because they are both curious people, I think there may be some trust/control issues, but that's just my opinion.

It is just your opinion. There aren't trust or control issues. We are very open with one another and it's not an issue for us. I can understand that it is something that is an issue for other people, but not for us.

Neither of us have anything to hide. We've been together for seven years and we always talk out our problems and things that are bothering us. During the early stages of our relationship we didn't do that as much and it became an issue, but a very long time ago we decided to be more open with one another and share almost everything. He tells me when he has a problem with something that I do, and he doesn't have a problem with me looking at his text messages and I don't have a problem with him looking at mine. That's it. So I don't see what the big problem is here.

Just because you look at messages, that doesn't mean that there are larger issues. I think if there were previous suspicions that one another had, or if we were doing it behind one anothers back, then yes, that would indicate that a larger problem is afoot. But there isn't one.

I understand that looking at one anothers messages can be a problem for some couples because either one or both parties don't like it and they feel their privacy is being invaded. But for me and my bf, we don't have a boundary like that. So it's a non-issue. That's all.

If I were to hound his Facebook, his emails, message his work buddies all of the time and start tracking his moves, then there would be a problem. But it's literally just me picking up his phone, in front of his face, where he can easily stop me or freak out, but he doesn't. That's all there is to it.

And I trust my husband 100% and I can go to him with absolutely anything. We have been married 8 years, together for 18 and have never had an argument. We disagree but we have never yelled at each other, stomped off in anger or anything like that. And while I have stated he has access to my phone and vice versa I have never felt the need to just start going through his text messages for no good reason. And that's what I'm not understanding is why the need to do that?

It's just in my nature. You can say that me just being curious is bull****, and based on your experienced with your husband I can understand why you'd say that, but that's literally all it is. I can't give you another explanation because there isn't one.

I don't do it because I feel the need to make sure that he's talking to people that I deem appropriate, it's nothing like that. I've never been insecure in our relationship like that and he hasn't either. This is just something that happens.

But how can you be curious when he's already told you what's in it? That's what's baffling to me.

Lol because he doesn't quote word for word. He'll say something like, "I dunno, I just talked to Nigel."

Hey, can you deliver a message to your boyfriend for me?

Dear Guy,

RUN BRO RUN!!!

burninghalos

Yep. My wife can even see my Internet history. *gasp*

Haaaaa!

michellemybelll

I don't lock my phone...I'd probably forget the access code then even I wouldn't have access to it.

lol. this.

like others have said, i don't have anything to hide; my partner's free to access my phone if he feels it's necessary.

stacshelb

only if he figures out the code to unlock it.

_HeartsOnFire_

i think its ****ing nuts that people commit to sharing their lives and beds with someone but not their phones. wtf.

I think it's ****ing nuts that someone would demand to read my private conversations at all times.

I have to agree with this. But maybe this is why I'm still single. I wouldn't have anything to hide in a relationship and they could look all they want, however, I would say texts between my friends and I are off limits, not because I'm hiding something but my what my friends share is their business to share it NOT mine. What they tell me is in confidence even if it's just what time we're meeting somewhere. Chances are I'd tell my SO where I was meeting someone and who, but any info my friend shares with me in a text/email is their business. If I found out I told my BFF a secret and she let her SO read that info, I'd be kinda pissed off. Even if I like the dude, even if I know he wouldn't do anything with the info. I shared that with my BFF, NOT my BFF and their SO.

Why do people think/want to know every single thing their SO said in the course of a day to someone else? Seriously, I say some pretty boring things all day.

Kitten2629

Both of ours lock but it's not a bit deal since we use the same unlock code. There are a lot of reasons to lock a phone especially if there is a chance of losing it.

I agree with you there are . Many have stated those reasons. Work, financial information etc. We simply do not do those type activity from our phones.

TheRoadDog

Not only does my wife have access to my phone, but my emails and every other aspect of my life.

My wife AND daughter have my passwords for all my Bank Accounts, Credit Card Accounts, Investments, FB, etc.

Nothing to hide.

Trust.

I've never had one of my daughters or my wife open my mail or my wallet without asking, but they know they have my permission.
I've never gone into my wife or daughter's phones, purses, ever.

Trust.

Kitten2629

Not only does my wife have access to my phone, but my emails and every other aspect of my life.

My wife AND daughter have my passwords for all my Bank Accounts, Credit Card Accounts, Investments, FB, etc.

Nothing to hide.

Trust.

I've never had one of my daughters or my wife open my mail or my wallet without asking, but they know they have my permission.
I've never gone into my wife or daughter's phones, purses, ever.

Trust.

May I ask how old your daughter is?

kmbweber2014

My SO has access to my phone and I have access to his, we never look. There is no need to, I don't care about his conversations with his friends. Unless it's something he wants to tell me I don't think about it or worry about it.

fitfabforties

I have no SO....my phone is locked with a 7 digit password....my phone is no one's business but mine.....I pay the bill!!

devil_in_a_blue_dress

i think its ****ing nuts that people commit to sharing their lives and beds with someone but not their phones. wtf.

Um, I am not nuts. I am committed to my husband and our relationship. But first and foremost I am an autonomous human being - I am allowed to have boundaries and expect my mate to respect them.

TheRoadDog

Not only does my wife have access to my phone, but my emails and every other aspect of my life.

My wife AND daughter have my passwords for all my Bank Accounts, Credit Card Accounts, Investments, FB, etc.

Nothing to hide.

Trust.

I've never had one of my daughters or my wife open my mail or my wallet without asking, but they know they have my permission.
I've never gone into my wife or daughter's phones, purses, ever.

Trust.

May I ask how old your daughter is?

I have three. 33, 31 and 20. The youngest has all my passwords, key codes, etc., in case anything happens to me and/or my wife.

eeriesilence

Yes.
I just had something happen recently, actually. I left my phone over my gf's house and wasn't able to retrieve it for a few days. I had multiple friends shocked at how I'm not worried she'd look through my phone. Um, the worst she'd find is the folder of ****ty selfies I've taken?

I think this whole issue depends on the individual's view of trust and priorities in a relationship.
I'm definitely of the "I don't care, she has my password for everything" category, though.

Kitten2629

I have three. 33, 31 and 20. The youngest has all my passwords, key codes, etc., in case anything happens to me and/or my wife.

I sincerely hope nothing ever does happen to you or your wife. That was very smart of you two to look ahead and prepare for the "what ifs"

Missjulesdid

I don't even understand why one person would answer the phone/text message for another person. If I'm calling John about something, why would I want his wife or SO to answer?? If he can't answer at the moment, let it roll into voicemail and he can call me back. But why should I have to have a conversation with a person I didn't call in the first place?

I answer my husband's phone, and he answers mine. He'd be really annoyed if I just let all the calls roll over to voice mail so he had to return the call when it was just something quick that I could answer in 10 seconds. This is how we both prefer it. If you don't like it, then I guess you should stop calling my husband.

AnxiousPenman

I will forever believe that someone, especially a married person, is doing something wrong or has something to hide, if they freak out and lose their **** if their SO looks at their phone. That's shady.

I've been in relationships where I've been cheated on, so I definitely have trust issues somewhere inside of me. Because of that, I make myself an open book. I don't hide anything. Because I wouldn't want my wife to ever feel like I was hiding something.

My phone is out in the open at all times and she can feel free to look at whatever she wants on there. The only thing I ask is that she not open up Tetris or Freecell and risk ****ing up my scores.

My laptop is constantly open and logged in.

My browers are open. My bookmarks are open. My internet history is open. My emails open with the click of a button without needing to log-in.

And so is my Facebook. I never log-out. She's free to look through my messages, see everything on the backend.

I literally do not care.

Without trying to sound crude ... she gives me complete access to her vagina. The least I can do is offer her complete access to my electronics.

If I have **** that I absolutely need to hide from her ... then I should really be questioning why I have that ****.