Can your SO access your phone?

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  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    i think its ****ing nuts that people commit to sharing their lives and beds with someone but not their phones. wtf.

    I think it's ****ing nuts that someone would demand to read my private conversations at all times.

    I have to agree with this. But maybe this is why I'm still single. I wouldn't have anything to hide in a relationship and they could look all they want, however, I would say texts between my friends and I are off limits, not because I'm hiding something but my what my friends share is their business to share it NOT mine. What they tell me is in confidence even if it's just what time we're meeting somewhere. Chances are I'd tell my SO where I was meeting someone and who, but any info my friend shares with me in a text/email is their business. If I found out I told my BFF a secret and she let her SO read that info, I'd be kinda pissed off. Even if I like the dude, even if I know he wouldn't do anything with the info. I shared that with my BFF, NOT my BFF and their SO.

    Why do people think/want to know every single thing their SO said in the course of a day to someone else? Seriously, I say some pretty boring things all day.

    100% this.
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
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    He has access to mine, although I don't get access to his. :ohwell:

    :noway: ..........


    Yeah, my thoughts, too. :grumble:

    just kill his phone :grumble:

    I really should! He is so crazy about his phone. He accidentally handed me his phone the other day and practically tackled me to get I back.
    There's something kinda...wrong there. Wouldn't you say?


    Oh absolutely. I know it isn't right, trust me, he knows where I stand on it. He just doesn't give an f.

    Just break up.
  • riirii93_
    riirii93_ Posts: 475 Member
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    No. But only because I broke it and now even I can't use it lolol. Otherwise yes, though I would be paranoid about something embarrassing that I'd googled popping up. Other than that, I don't have anything to hide but also don't really want to be eavesdropped upon if that makes sense? Like reading someone's private conversations with their friends is kind of an invasion of privacy. Whenever I would let him use my phone he wasn't trying to go through my convos because he trusts me enough not to feel like he needs to snoop.
  • breesie11
    breesie11 Posts: 3,478 Member
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    yup...nothing to hide and I have access to his.
  • SwashBlogger
    SwashBlogger Posts: 395 Member
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    I think it is super strange to answer anyone else's phone or access it in any way. If your best friend were in the washroom, and her phone rang, would you pick it up off the table and answer it? Could be a coworker. Her mom? Whoever is on the other end is not looking for you and that is all you need to know. This includes texts, photos, etc. SOOO invasive. and, if you have suspicions, whoever is on the other end is the least of your problems.
  • Dead_Darling
    Dead_Darling Posts: 478 Member
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    He can, but doesn't feel the need to access both phones (work and personal). I have access to his phone too (sorted out the contacts on his new phone a couple of weeks ago), but again, I don't feel the need to access it.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 8,991 Member
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    I think it is super strange to answer anyone else's phone or access it in any way. If your best friend were in the washroom, and her phone rang, would you pick it up off the table and answer it? Could be a coworker. Her mom? Whoever is on the other end is not looking for you and that is all you need to know. This includes texts, photos, etc. SOOO invasive. and, if you have suspicions, whoever is on the other end is the least of your problems.

    I would not pick up my friends phone and answer it - only because I'm not sure how anyone would feel about this and so best to leave it alone.
    However I would pick up my husbands phone and answer it if he couldn't do so - he was in the shower or gone to the shops or something.
    I would be fine with him doing same to my phone. Or checking an incoming text and letting me know.
    Actually I would be fine with anyone picking up my phone and saying Paper puddings phone, I 'll get her to ring you back.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    My new phone requires my fingerprint to unlock it. I guess this issue won't be a problem for me in the future. lol.
  • DenDweller
    DenDweller Posts: 1,438 Member
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    My wife and I have been married for 22 years. We are not locked out from each other's stuff. Occasionally, one or the other of us will take a peek.

    Blind trust is a courtesy you extend to strangers on a temporary basis with acceptable loss understood as a possible outcome.

    Real trust is built over time, with verification and a proven track record of trustworthiness. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something.
  • kdhamner
    kdhamner Posts: 309 Member
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    I have been married for nearly 17 years. I know all of my husbands passwords - he knows all of mine - he has access to my phone, I have access to his. Do we ever get on each others things? Rarely, but we can if needed. Most often it is me getting in to his email account, because he is an over the road truck driver and sometimes needs me to do things for him from his email. I have nothing to hide - nor does he. If a day ever came that he wouldn't allow me to access his stuff even after 17 years, I would become very suspicious.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    I don't lock my phone, and I don't care who looks through it. I have nothing to hide. My husband locks his phone, because our toddler likes to mess with his and screws up the settings. I know the code, and husband doesn't care if I open it. He has nothing to hide, either.

    We also know each others' Facebook, email, school, and bank account passwords. Though neither of us have suspicious or shady tendencies, so we don't care to snoop. I know I wouldn't find anything, and so does he.
  • MsBetteDavis
    MsBetteDavis Posts: 118 Member
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    Yes. He can access mine and I can access his.
  • valkaree
    valkaree Posts: 519
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    I leave a few "special" pics on there for her just in case :)
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    He has access to mine, although I don't get access to his. :ohwell:

    :noway: ..........


    Yeah, my thoughts, too. :grumble:

    just kill his phone :grumble:

    I really should! He is so crazy about his phone. He accidentally handed me his phone the other day and practically tackled me to get I back.
    There's something kinda...wrong there. Wouldn't you say?


    Oh absolutely. I know it isn't right, trust me, he knows where I stand on it. He just doesn't give an f.

    Your boyfriend sounds awesome. :noway: I recommend that you raise your standards. Thank me later.
  • redromad275
    redromad275 Posts: 884 Member
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    Absolutely. My bride has access to my phone as she knows the code. I have nothing to hide. My ipad isn't locked. I even encourage her to look anytime she might wonder. Coming on this site could have been an issue as I am very social so I want her to look at what I say to other people so she is continually reassured of her status as my one and only.
  • MsBetteDavis
    MsBetteDavis Posts: 118 Member
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    Absolutely. My bride has access to my phone as she knows the code. I have nothing to hide. My ipad isn't locked. I even encourage her to look anytime she might wonder. Coming on this site could have been an issue as I am very social so I want her to look at what I say to other people so she is continually reassured of her status as my one and only.

    That is super sweet of you.

    And I feel this way as well. My SO and I have had trust issues in the past (which were all my fault - nothing happened, but I caused him to trust me less), so I completely understand wanting your SO to see everything about you as to reassure them. Sometimes trust has to be rebuilt and allowing your partner to see your phone, internet history, etc. is a good tool in order to do that.
  • salvationsdying
    salvationsdying Posts: 205 Member
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    I've been with my fiance for 4 years. I just recently put a lock on my phone 2 weeks ago. Only because we have a toddler who snatches phones up in a heart beat and does weird things. She's called and txted people while I'm loading the dishwasher or something like that. She gets in apps and makes them do thinks I never knew they did. So mines just locked because of that. He was at work when I locked it and I txted him I was doing it. Told him id give the code to him when he came home and he said don't worry about it. Other then that we know eachothers pass words for everything. We don't snoop in eachothers things but if we wanted to the ablilty is there.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
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    My phone, my business.
  • sweetmelissa222
    sweetmelissa222 Posts: 290 Member
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    I don't understand how this is a legitimate fight that couples have. Before my SO and I were dating, I didn't give him access to my phone at all. When we started dating, there was never a conversation about it, but I gave him my code on a couple of occasions so that he could read messages aloud if I was driving or use my GPS or what have you. He gave me his code a few times as well. We both leave our phones lying around when we are home. The ability diminishes the need. I know that he can access my phone, he knows that I can access his. Bottom line, our relationship is built on trust.

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