What is the weirdest weight loss advice you've ever had?

helenarriaza

Basically everyone I went to high school with is now selling protein shakes in various multi-level-marketing schemes on Facebook. So I hear about these magical shakes constantly, with no mention of the calories in the shake, total daily calories, macros, etc. Just "Ask me about losing weight so easy with Herbalife/Mynt/whatever!"

YES!!!!
My cousin started selling that stuff and got her overweight mother and Aunts to try it.

They eat the shakes WITH their meals. lol.

oh that sounds fun.

T1DCarnivoreRunner

massage your belly button 100 times every day and you will get flat stomach...

surprisingly a lot of my friends buy into it...

this sounds weird but I don't know why people swear by it maybe it really works? you know there are things that science can't explain? LOL

That might help short term... sit on the toilet and rub your belly clockwise in a circle around the belly button. Basically, if you can massage your intestines the correct direction to get more out, then weigh right afterwards... there may be some small benefit. Short term. But this isn't going to help you look any better or actually help with long term weight loss.

armystrong00

The 5 bite diet.
At your meal time you can have 5 bites of ANY one food you enjoy and you will lose weight.

now only if a cake could be one bite xD

lissdawn

I work with a woman who is a raw eater. I don't knock her lifestyle but she, in addition to determining what works best for her, also seems to think that she knows what is best for every other person as well.

She believes (based on google researching) that every single disease in the world can be cured by eating a raw diet. I'm not sure that modern scientific proof-based facts align with that, but to each there own.

However, my patience was completely lost one day when she overheard me speaking with a friend about the struggle sometimes in staying within my caloric goals but getting my macros targets. She decided to pipe in and tell me that if I were to just eat nothing but fruit and nuts for 6 months, I'd be exactly where I want to be and get everything nutritionally I required. SMH.

dwarfiegodsmack

"just *kitten* the weight off"

funny thing is i think they were being serious

lmao, made me laugh at work :laugh:

dwarfiegodsmack

"just *kitten* the weight off"

funny thing is i think they were being serious

Sex (even alone) does count as exercise....

However, the amount you'd have to get/do to make a significant weight loss dent....

I can just imagine the diet book: "The Perv Diet: Sex Your Way to Sexypants!"

ROFL :laugh:

TheSheepFollower

The 5 bite diet.
At your meal time you can have 5 bites of ANY one food you enjoy and you will lose weight.

IKR

angelexperiment

Eating all the gummie bears that I want, because they are fat free.
No. Even. Kidding.

This lady also did the cabbage soup and grafefruit diets.

Maybe it would work if they were also sugar free. :sick:

If you go by some of the reviews on sugar-free gummie bears, I'm pretty sure they're essentially laxatives.

Yes they are. My son hates ice cream (Pretty sure he might be the only 5 year old on earth who hates ice cream.) so when we go to get ice cream, he gets a bag of candy. When he was 3 he ate 1/2 bag of sugar-free gummy bears. I didn't realize they were sugar free until about 1.5 hours later when I hear my husband screaming from the basement "OH MY GOD! HELP!" I go running down there because I think someone got hurt and there is poop everywhere. Poop on the walls, on the furniture, carpet. My poor child is frozen like a deer in headlights because he doesn't know what is happening. The weird thing is he was wearing a pull up and pants. The poop shot out with such force that it volcano erupted from his clothing. I swear this isn't even an exaggeration. It was insane. Then I saw the bag of gummy bears on the kitchen counter with the "sugar free" label. They went straight to the trash. lol Now we inspect his candy before he eats it. lol

o my! I laughed so hard! Poor baby!

angelexperiment

Don't eat processed food. Or anything with sugar. Or carbs, carbs are evil too. Oh yeah, and then there's salt, things with salt are super bad. Oh hell, everything is off limits! Just eat air!

Ok, the last part was my own, but yeah. Pretty much this.

:laugh:

actually there is a diet called the air diet where you just smell the food you want to eat but don't eat it. Theres also the airitarian diet.

Raaynn

A waiter the other night told me to not drink water for one hour before or after any meal. He said something about concentrating the digestive enzymes so your body digests the food more effectively. And, this advice was from a nutritionist he "knew while living in LA, where you know, nutrition is EVERYTHING". And also? this was Angelina Jolie's nutritionist, so you know it's good information.

I smiled as I sipped my water with lemon.

that is surprisingly true, but quite frankly I could use a little less "digestion" lol judging by my size id say im efficient enough

angelexperiment

I get annoyed with logic behind why people follow Trending diets like Paleo, the idea that I will lose weight and be healthier like Humans from the paleolithic era because I'm eating the way they did. Have you ever met someone from that era and thought to yourself, man he looked good? Also pretty sure humans from that era also had to hunt for their food, went long periods of time without food and probably didn't live much longer than 30-40 years at a time due to sickness and disease and other factors attributed to lack of technology and modern medicine.

I have nothing against the idea of avoiding processed foods if that's someone's personal preference, but why not call paleo the no processed foods diet? I recognize that paleo does work for some people but that isn't surprising if you think about it, imagine how easy it might be to stay under your calorie goal if you can't eat fast food, drink sugared sodas, fried chicken and etc. If I ate nothing but whole foods meats, veggies and fruits and didn't add processed food, oils and butters I'm pretty sure I could stay under my calorie goal too. I would just miss all of my favorite foods and once I stopped the Paleo diet just go right back to my bad habits. All that work learning how to be good at paleo wasted in the end.

If you lose weight on a diet it's because you consumed less calories than you burned which can be achieved by diet alone or in combination with exercise and activity. You can totally gain weight on paleo if you eat at a surplus, there's no magic behind it.

Well, there is more theory behind it than just non-processed foods, and it's still evolving, so you'll see different variations. The Paleo part itself just seems to be mostly a marketing gimick, though I imagine there were groups of people in certain areas of the world that ate very similarly to the diet during the Paleolithic area (just not all people in the world during that time). And some of the variations incorporate more than just the diet -- but lifestyle changes that mimic some of the other things seen in that time (like more emphasis on lifting heavy and high volume, low intensity cardio like lots of walking/hiking, etc.).

More than anything, I see the Paleo diet and its variations more of a response to issues more and more people are having with certain things in the modern diet -- whether it's reactions to gluten, lactose, casein, etc. And folks with some of these reactions find that they do shockingly better on such diets -- many of which diet even know they had these sensitivities until they tried the diet. So it does seem sort of miraculous to them. But Autoimmune, Gastrointestinal Sensitivities Diet is a mouthful. Paleo is easier.

there is a diet for that its called the fodmaps or gaps diets

jenny3008

Apparently I can eat as much as I like from 'Natures Garden' and I won't get fat in fact I will lose weight. I'm not sure how extensive this garden of nature is but if the individual was eating meat and fish as well as peanut butter so its fairly extensive

So I can quit the gym, stop the calorie counting and just be healthy, slim and toned while eating all I want

clairebeth8

I went to a nutritionist at my doctor's office and she told me that the best way to lose the 10 pounds I wanted off was to eat exactly 1200 calories everyday. And if I worked out I couldn't eat any more. After a few days of being a crazed, hungry, low-blood-sugar monster, I realized that I should probably eat a little more. Yeah, I never went back for my follow up with her...

angelexperiment

Guy had a tapeworm his cat threw up he wanted to give me just to help me out

what! He does know tapeworms can kill you right? How dumb.

angelexperiment

I've heard many of these before.

The strangest (and one of the most dangerous) one's I've come across is the "cotton-ball diet"

You dip a "cotton" (it's not actually cotton) in oil, then swallow it. It, supposedly fills up your stomach so you eat less.

I have no words....

then you get a nice little thing (well big thing)called a bowel obstruction

blownsi

I have been told by more than one person that praying is the only answer because you just can't lose weight on your own.

ukaryote

I have been told by more than one person that praying is the only answer because you just can't lose weight on your own.

That is not too far off the mark. We do better with support, like on MFP, and if you get your support by praying, then good on ya!
(No pun intended. OK, maybe.)

Holla4mom

I told a friend that while I lived in Colombia I got a parasite. I couldn't eat and if I did it all came right back out the back end in a most unpleasant way. She literally said to me, "What a great way to lose weight." I've also heard of people purposely ingesting tape worms.

The craziness! Girlfriend probably went to see where she could order a parasite after that!

EmmieBaby

"if you don't look up the nutritional content it doesn't count"

"don't eat eggs they make you fat"

" eating breakfast makes you fat"

and best one

"sleeping on your stomach means your belly will sag and never be flat"

CupcakeCrusoe

In for later.