Judging people and their weight

itsbasschick

how critical of you. i used to work 16 hour days 7 days a week. after meals, a shower and some cleaning, i didn't even have enough time for 6 hours sleep a day.

why does what other people do, don't do or say bother you?

what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs

FatFreeFrolicking

Unfortunately what the doctor is saying is true. Being overweight or obese is self inflicted. No one is forcing someone to eat more than they should. Food to some is just as addicting as tobacco is to smokers. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who gets lung cancer after smoking for decades? Not many. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who is considered obese that dies, or contracts a related disease associated with their weight. Again not many.

Medication that causes weight gain is not self-inflicted.

meshashesha2012

I don't think it's fair to say people "want" to be fat. No one really "wants" to be fat. People do however "choose" to be fat. I agree with all the issue you stated that can lead to becoming overweight but it is the individual's choice to allow those issues to dictate what they eat. All of those issues can be handled in ways other than eating. It is in our choices that we define ourselves.

i agree with this.

maybe want isnt the correct word, but even if you arent actively choosing to do something, being passive while it happens is still a choice.

I didnt see the program so i can only assume they are talking about obese and beyond. there's a big difference between being 20 pounds overweight and 50,100 etc pounds overweight. the latter does not happen overnight. the latter happens because you are consistently eating more calories than your body needs or you're eating more than you think it needs.

what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs

what bothers me is when people assume that being overweight automatically means they dont work out. as someone who gained a significant amount of weight all while regularly performing workouts that many thinner people couldnt do, that idea is BS. weight gain comes from eating more food than your body needs.

bennettinfinity

what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs

Eh, wrong. Not all medical issues are BS. Some individuals actually do have exercise limitations and/or are not allowed to exercise all together.

Just curious what percentage you would assign to the population you describe? The poster you responded to did say 'most' not 'all'.

FatFreeFrolicking

what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs

Eh, wrong. Not all medical issues are BS. Some individuals actually do have exercise limitations and/or are not allowed to exercise all together.

Just curious what percentage you would assign to the population you describe? The poster you responded to did say 'most' not 'all'.

He said "What bothers me the MOST."

Jennloella

how critical of you. i used to work 16 hour days 7 days a week. after meals, a shower and some cleaning, i didn't even have enough time for 6 hours sleep a day.

why does what other people do, don't do or say bother you?

what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs

I don't think they meant in general it bothers them, but when thrown out there as an excuse, as in someone complaining they are not losing weight, then giving "but" this and that or the other. Medical issues, blah blah there's always alternative exercises, true metabolic disorders, seek medical help - I work 12 hour days, have four kids, including a one year old and 8 week old, volunteer, cook meals from scratch, and I have enough time to work out 6 days a week. I agree, don't complain about it if you're not ready to fix it.

CleanUpWhatIMessedUp

The doctor was right. The way he put it was wrong, but I think the meaning was that being fat is something that can be changed, so if you're fat and you hate it, then why don't you try to change it. I don't think he meant it as, people that are fat love being fat, but just people that are fat have the ability to change that whereas people with certain other physical things wrong can't change that.

meshashesha2012

Unfortunately what the doctor is saying is true. Being overweight or obese is self inflicted. No one is forcing someone to eat more than they should. Food to some is just as addicting as tobacco is to smokers. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who gets lung cancer after smoking for decades? Not many. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who is considered obese that dies, or contracts a related disease associated with their weight. Again not many.

Medication that causes weight gain is not self-inflicted.

but it's still down to eating more than what your body needs

missomgitsica

Some people do want to be fat. There's a whole sexual fetish based on it. Just saying.

SunofaBeach14

What I find interesting is that this thread is quickly becoming a back-and-forth between people wanting to make excuses for themselves and others and those pushing for others to take control over their own lives. Like it or not, people will judge you, and they will judge you for a variety of reasons. I'm not saying that it's fair, but fair or not, you should look in the mirror and figure out why it bothers you. If you're being judged by others and it bothers you because it is something that you recognize as something you really do have control over, and you want to change, then why not change? Yes, people have different challenges to overcome but that's the point, make them challenges to overcome rather than excuses that make it easier not to change. In the end, the changes you make help you, and the excuses you make only hurt you. Not every individual can run ultra-marathons or squat 800 pounds, or even have that potential, but most individuals can make small changes that improve their own lives.

wgaue

One problem I see, (and it's a big one for me) is that people live to eat. Instead of eating to live.

AliceDark

Unfortunately what the doctor is saying is true. Being overweight or obese is self inflicted. No one is forcing someone to eat more than they should. Food to some is just as addicting as tobacco is to smokers. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who gets lung cancer after smoking for decades? Not many. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who is considered obese that dies, or contracts a related disease associated with their weight. Again not many.

Medication that causes weight gain is not self-inflicted.

But the person is still making a choice to take the medication, because the benefits of taking it outweigh the consequences. It may not be a good choice, or a fair choice. It may be the case that no sane person would choose not to take the medication, regardless of how much weight gain it causes, but it's still a choice.

FatFreeFrolicking

One problem I see, (and it's a big one for me) is that people live to eat. Instead of eating to live.

Yep, and the simple fact that America is very accepting of obesity.

wizzybeth

I will agree that my choices have put me in this position of needing to lose almost 100 lbs.

I chose to drink excessive amounts of soda, eat excessive amounts of junk food, and eat excessive amounts of high fat/high calorie foods while not bothering to consume more healthy options.

I did choose not to exercise, though I will say that having plantar fasciitis does cause incredible foot pain and yeah, it's next to impossible to exercise until the plantar fasciitis is healed. I had to sleep with foot braces for several months before I felt like normal, and for over a year I could not wear any shoes but Crocs - no sneakers either - without causing my feet to flare up in pain....so someone saying their feet hurt may very well be legit and not BS.

I was very frustrated because I wanted to walk my dog - and I couldn't even walk through the supermarket shopping for groceries without being in agony.

Now that my feet are completely healed, and I can wear sneakers and other shoes besides crocs, I AM able to exercise and I do, for some reason, really WANT to do it - I never wanted to in the past...and I was frustrated when I had the plantar fasciitis and I WANTED to walk but couldn't.

lemurcat12

The doctor was right. The way he put it was wrong, but I think the meaning was that being fat is something that can be changed, so if you're fat and you hate it, then why don't you try to change it. I don't think he meant it as, people that are fat love being fat, but just people that are fat have the ability to change that whereas people with certain other physical things wrong can't change that.

That sounds right.

I do think one reason people stay fat is that they don't believe they have the ability to change it, and one great thing about places like MFP is that it provides the tools.

I remember back when I was in my early 20s and would complain about how I was too fat (I was probably 125 or so, yes I know that makes me back then obnoxious or overly insecure). Instead of the usual "no, you are fine," a friend of mine said "why don't you lose weight, then?" and it struck me that I'd never really tried to do so (and had no idea how, although I was pretty good at figuring out all kinds of other things). I didn't actually bother figuring out how to lose until I gained a bunch more weight, but that always stuck with me despite my (inaccurate) feelings that my weight was beyond my control.

RangedLunatic

Bull****. Obesity is a structural problem, a public health problem, owing to many factors beyond our control such as food system design, city design, work schedules, commute time, and so forth. People weren't skinnier a hundred years ago because they wanted it more, they were skinnier because it was easy. Healthy weight has gone from the default, to something you must strive for, to something you must spend hours every day working for.

For myself, the biggest change in my weight is not due to dieting or working harder. It is because I moved to a place where I can run right from my front door. Not everyone has that option.

The people on this forum put in a lot of work to try to be healthy. Good for them, more power to them. But they cannot be blamed for the problem to begin with, nor can people who aren't able to put in this much effort be condemned.

eeh42

This topic came up on the side of my page and I should have ignored it. But now I have to chime in after reading all these comments. Food is not the only reason people gain weight and to think that is very narrow-minded. I personally gained weight from medication. And by medication, I mean birth control pills. I gained when I switched pills twice, and then I gained again when I stopped taking them all together. I don't overeat, I eat extremely healthy, I exercise. And I've led this lifestyle for many years but have still gained the weight for reasons beyond my control. So, no, it isn't a choice to be fat as most of you think. It was my choice to take that medication, but not have a reaction to it. So judging people based on circumstances that you don't know or understand makes you, simply, a jerk.

sdelo7

Some of us don't choose to be fat or exhibit behaviour allowing to be and remain fat. I was an athlete from the age of 5.
Now I am a middle age mom, have seen doctors, naturopaths, nutritionists who find nothing wrong with me. I track everything I eat, no junk food, no cola, no fried food, lots of fruit and vegetables and water. I exercise: spin, dance, run, play tennis and golf. Yet, I gain weight. My BMI is borderline obese.
It is hurtful when I hear comments about choosing to be fat or not to change eating habits to lose weight.

I wish I could find the reason why I look the way I do. Wish I could find the solution.

TrailNurse

I see this every day being a nurse. People don't WANT to get Diabetes Type II and have limbs cut off but they didn't WANT to do anything about it when they had the chance in their 20's and 30's. They decided being sedentary and eating all those processed foods and carbs were more important to them than exercise and diet. It's the price you pay for letting your health decline. And before I get the hate comments about injuries and not being able to work out....that's just total BS. If you have an injury (aside from being paralyzed from the neck down) you can still do plenty of exercises like swimming, walking, body weight exercises and weight training.

Look at the guys in wheel chair body building....they achieved goals beyond their disability. Much respect to them for not feeling sorry for themselves and withering away in denial.

P.S. Even medication that causes weight gain can be overcome. I am hyperthyroid and I take medication to slow down my thyroid production. In doing so, my metabolism is also slowed. Average weight gain with this medication is 20 lbs. I haven't gained any weight because I did my research and know how to counteract the weight gain with a clean diet and exercise. Where there is a will, there is a way.

albayin

Bull****. Obesity is a structural problem, a public health problem, owing to many factors beyond our control such as food system design, city design, work schedules, commute time, and so forth. People weren't skinnier a hundred years ago because they wanted it more, they were skinnier because it was easy. Healthy weight has gone from the default, to something you must strive for, to something you must spend hours every day working for.

For myself, the biggest change in my weight is not due to dieting or working harder. It is because I moved to a place where I can run right from my front door. Not everyone has that option.

The people on this forum put in a lot of work to try to be healthy. Good for them, more power to them. But they cannot be blamed for the problem to begin with, nor can people who aren't able to put in this much effort be condemned.

You made some points but it doesn't explain why in the same city we see variety of sizes. I think it will still boil down to personal choice on life style and activity level. Yeah, envrionment makes it harder to make the right choice but it's not impossible.