Judging people and their weight
Replies
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you can dispute what I'm saying because it doesn't fit into how things typically work? No thanks.
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And that's the type of response I expected which is why I have no need to justify myself to you.0 -
It's impossible to judge anyone when you don't know their story. It's stupid to try.
Why worry about the opinion of stupid people? Just don't.
+10 -
you can dispute what I'm saying because it doesn't fit into how things typically work? No thanks.
And that's the type of response I expected which is why I have no need to justify myself to you.
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.... and I expect bacon - I WANT BACON!0 -
ETA: To be abundantly clear, this is a very difficult process and I'm in no way minimizing the struggle. The mental game is every bit as important as, and often far more difficult than, the physical.
Yes, exactly.
I think it is easy (and I am just as guilty of this as anyone) to focus so much on the physiology of weight loss that we forget the psychology part. Long term success in my opinion generally requires catering to both.
The problem with words like "excuse" it it denotes blame and fault. Neither of those are particularly useful concepts for the majority of people who struggle with weight loss and again in my opinion outside of an initial "kick in the pants" for a minority of folks.
It seems to be more likely that people will be helped where they find a place where they enjoy what they are doing and are happy in doing it rather than to suffer and endure which seem to be the basis of most weight loss approaches (which generally prove to be utter failures in weight regulation.)0 -
I don't think it's fair to say people "want" to be fat. No one really "wants" to be fat. People do however "choose" to be fat. I agree with all the issue you stated that can lead to becoming overweight but it is the individual's choice to allow those issues to dictate what they eat. All of those issues can be handled in ways other than eating. It is in our choices that we define ourselves.
Yes, yep and yeah!0 -
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I never knew there were do many people and medications that could defy the laws of physics.
I've never understood why people say this. Its nonsensical. The People on MFP are not a representative sample of the overall population. Furthermore some medical issues are just mind boggling.
Not sure what medical condition is going to prevent you from losing weight.
Anyone with half a brain would be going to the doctor to be treated going through what I have been in the past 18 months :laugh:
Your ticker says you've lost 11 pounds so you can obviously still lose weight.
I don't have just Hashimotos I have a plethora of other issues going on that would take forever to type out. I've been hovering within a 10 pound weight range for about a year. I'm just glad I haven't really started gaining again. The ticker doesn't tell the whole story, I lost 11 pounds in less than 2 weeks. Since my last entry I've regained 5.
Then these mysterious diseases clearly don't prevent you from losing weight. You're having the same struggle many people have with weight. The solution is a combination of getting honest with yourself about what you're eating, setting a reasonable and sustainable calorie goal, finding a combination of foods that is appealing to you and yet fits your calories and nutrition needs, and committing to it. The reason you're being challenged is that many of us have been through, and seen friends go through, the process of excuse making. It's a human reaction to challenges that we don't like. There are tools here that can help as well as a number of people willing to look at your diary and offer help.
ETA: To be abundantly clear, this is a very difficult process and I'm in no way minimizing the struggle. The mental game is every bit as important as, and often far more difficult than, the physical.
I'm 100% honest with myself. My food diary literally saved my life because my doctor said the same thing you are. Until I showed him what I ate, showed him what I was going through he wouldn't help me. Reiterated that gaining 60lbs in 3 months wasn't normal. It's very frustrating which was my original point. These things don't happen overnight it's a process that started years ago that has now had a huge domino effect. It's not easy to explain in a paragraph or two my entire complicated medical history and, frankly, it's none of anyone else's business. If you can't take what I'm saying at face value and immediately dispute (which is what has happened here) it you're not going to understand anyway.0 -
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Honestly of you are eating 1500 calories, running 7 miles daily and gaining weight, you need to be in a secure facility so doctors can discover how to harness energy out of nothing. Your are defying the rules of physics.
I just looked at your diary and honestly, if that's how you eat it's no wonder you're struggling. You're consistently over your calories and (1700 calories not 1500)
I'm not saying this to be harsh, because I know how hard it is. I've gone onto a meal plan (where I'm given all my food) and from months of 'I'm eating the right amount of calories and not losing' after five days I've lost 2kg (and on my period!) and I will keep losing as I'm eating the right amount.
First of all, I'm not doing 1500 calories right now. I used to do that about 2 years ago. And I was very constant about it.
Even and so, at my weight I've gone over my goals 3 times in the past 20 days. And of those times I still haven't eaten more than 2000 calories except for yesterday. For someone my size, I shouldn't be gaining weight back on that.0 -
Which does bring me back to my point. You're not accurately recording what you eat. I get it. I've been there. But if you're not losing weight at 1700 then you are eating too much. It's that simple.0
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you can dispute what I'm saying because it doesn't fit into how things typically work? No thanks.
And that's the type of response I expected which is why I have no need to justify myself to you.
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Of course it can be handled, but that takes time. I haven't gotten there yet. I'm still being treated, hormones still being balanced, surgeries still have to take place. This has been a two year process of doctor after specialist after surgeon. When things get stable I'm sure I'll be fine.0 -
I never knew there were do many people and medications that could defy the laws of physics.
I've never understood why people say this. Its nonsensical. The People on MFP are not a representative sample of the overall population. Furthermore some medical issues are just mind boggling.
Not sure what medical condition is going to prevent you from losing weight.
Anyone with half a brain would be going to the doctor to be treated going through what I have been in the past 18 months :laugh:
Your ticker says you've lost 11 pounds so you can obviously still lose weight.
I don't have just Hashimotos I have a plethora of other issues going on that would take forever to type out. I've been hovering within a 10 pound weight range for about a year. I'm just glad I haven't really started gaining again. The ticker doesn't tell the whole story, I lost 11 pounds in less than 2 weeks. Since my last entry I've regained 5.
Then these mysterious diseases clearly don't prevent you from losing weight. You're having the same struggle many people have with weight. The solution is a combination of getting honest with yourself about what you're eating, setting a reasonable and sustainable calorie goal, finding a combination of foods that is appealing to you and yet fits your calories and nutrition needs, and committing to it. The reason you're being challenged is that many of us have been through, and seen friends go through, the process of excuse making. It's a human reaction to challenges that we don't like. There are tools here that can help as well as a number of people willing to look at your diary and offer help.
ETA: To be abundantly clear, this is a very difficult process and I'm in no way minimizing the struggle. The mental game is every bit as important as, and often far more difficult than, the physical.
I'm 100% honest with myself. My food diary literally saved my life because my doctor said the same thing you are. Until I showed him what I ate, showed him what I was going through he wouldn't help me. Reiterated that gaining 60lbs in 3 months wasn't normal. It's very frustrating which was my original point. These things don't happen overnight it's a process that started years ago that has now had a huge domino effect. It's not easy to explain in a paragraph or two my entire complicated medical history and, frankly, it's none of anyone else's business. If you can't take what I'm saying at face value and immediately dispute (which is what has happened here) it you're not going to understand anyway.
What are you doing now to lose weight? Presumably, your doctor is providing advice? As I said, people here are willing to help if you need it. I've seen this again and again, even with family members. There is always hidden and/or unrecorded food consumption. Always. This is also the internet. So, no I don't take what you say at face value. Experience, both my own and my friends', caution against that. If you want to dismiss that because I don't "understand" then that is your choice.0 -
Which does bring me back to my point. You're not accurately recording what you eat. I get it. I've been there. But if you're not losing weight at 1700 then you are eating too much. It's that simple.
I weigh everything, my diary is 100% accurate. If I'm not losing weight at 1700 something's WRONG. In anyone else they would be losing, not gaining, not maintaining. Which is what my point was to begin with :grumble:0 -
What I find interesting is that this thread is quickly becoming a back-and-forth between people wanting to make excuses for themselves and others and those pushing for others to take control over their own lives. Like it or not, people will judge you, and they will judge you for a variety of reasons. I'm not saying that it's fair, but fair or not, you should look in the mirror and figure out why it bothers you. If you're being judged by others and it bothers you because it is something that you recognize as something you really do have control over, and you want to change, then why not change? Yes, people have different challenges to overcome but that's the point, make them challenges to overcome rather than excuses that make it easier not to change. In the end, the changes you make help you, and the excuses you make only hurt you. Not every individual can run ultra-marathons or squat 800 pounds, or even have that potential, but most individuals can make small changes that improve their own lives.
agreed
ex excuse maker here, at the time i really didnt realise i was doing it. I actually thought i didnt eat too much and i believed i couldnt fit in time to do exercise even though i work from home. So I agree with the statement someone said that there are alot of excuse makers out there and its for us to make the small change.0 -
YOU WIN!0 -
What are you doing now to lose weight? Presumably, your doctor is providing advice? As I said, people here are willing to help if you need it. I've seen this again and again, even with family members. There is always hidden and/or unrecorded food consumption. Always. This is also the internet. So, no I don't take what you say at face value. Experience, both my own and my friends', caution against that. If you want to dismiss that because I don't "understand" then that is your choice.
My doctor is monitoring right now. He said to eat more protein. That's about the only "advice" he has given besides "wait and see, keep doing what you're doing when your hormones balance out you should see a change". Right now what I did was figure out my TDEE which is like 2500 something and decided to eat below that but still somewhere where I'm not ravenously hungry all the time. MFP set the calories at 1770 and I'm eating back some of my exercise calories. I started doing interval runs again 3x's/ week. I'm at least trying to get the running part back to where I was. I had to stop being active about a year ago after abdominal surgery knocked me on my butt and I'm at the point of "screw it I'm going to be in major pain anyway". This is a change from what I used to do which was eat 1500 calories and not eat back my exercise calories since that didn't work anyway and just made me frustrated and hungry. Trying to really be cognizant of protein and salt intake. there's no hidden or unrecorded food here, I understand why you might think that but there's not. If there were I wouldn't have recorded that piece of cake I ate last night. Ha.0 -
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All I can speak for is myself. Did I *want* to be fat? No… of course not. I just wanted to be able to eat whatever I wanted and do nothing. But did I *wilingly* make the choices that led to that? YES! Did I try to make every excuse in the book for why I was fat? Yes. Genetics? Yup. My entire family is overweight. Slow metabolism? Of course, that was my favorite. Big boned? Yeah. Thyroid issues? Yup, tried that one too (doctors ruled that one out). Misc. other medical problems? Yeah. Even the doctors tried that one… but test after test would come back negative. Society/environment? Mmm hmmm. That one too. The truth is… when it comes down to brass tacks… I ate way too much and moved way too little. In my case… obesity was a choice I made. It was not a disease or anything else beyond my control.
For the record, food is not an "addiction" to me. I'm not a binger (never have been). I'm not an emotional eater (honestly… times of stress tends to zap my appetite). I ate because I liked food. And I liked the so-called "junk food." I have all sorts of "issues." I can freely admit to that (what human being doesn't?). But my issues have nothing to do with my weight. (That's my pet peeve is the assumption that fat=issues. And the ever popular "if they don't address the underlying issues, they will never lose weight and be able to keep it off." Maybe true for some… but certainly not universal to all overweight people) And my interests have always been sedentary ones. I was never the kid who loved playing outside. I loved to read. To write. As an adult… scrapbooking. And I'm a complete klutz. So, even the sports that I liked were not fun to play because I suck so bad at them!
I agree that people in general shouldn't be so quick to judge people. Not just about their weight, but about anything. But I kind of agree with that doctor referenced by the OP. It was true for me. The difference is now I'm changing it.0 -
I don't think it's fair to say people "want" to be fat. No one really "wants" to be fat. People do however "choose" to be fat. I agree with all the issue you stated that can lead to becoming overweight but it is the individual's choice to allow those issues to dictate what they eat. All of those issues can be handled in ways other than eating. It is in our choices that we define ourselves.
Agree 100%0 -
Which does bring me back to my point. You're not accurately recording what you eat. I get it. I've been there. But if you're not losing weight at 1700 then you are eating too much. It's that simple.
I weigh everything, my diary is 100% accurate. If I'm not losing weight at 1700 something's WRONG. In anyone else they would be losing, not gaining, not maintaining. Which is what my point was to begin with :grumble:
actually no you don't.
Looked at your diary...
January over some, not weighed mostly measured, missed days on end, partial days
Feb mostly not logged, items not weighed,
March partial days, most days not logged, when you did log it wasn't weighed mostly
sporatic logging at best in march at the start of the month
nothing on the days I clicked in april (about 1/2 of them)
no logging at all in June. Started July 13...often over goal, cup measurments oz weights (which are inaccurate).
I was heavy and yo yo'd for almost 20 years...I have no excuses for it other than eating too much and not moving enough.
No medical condition if in a deficit will prevent weight loss...and this is a perfect example of what the doctors were saying.
If you don't want to be over weight then don't be. It is not easy but it can be done.
I don't judge those who are actively trying to lose weight and are being honest with themselves about it. I don't judge those who aren't actively trying either I just feel bad for them.0 -
Just watched a show on TV where this "Doctor" is saying that people are fat because they want to be. That is such BS. I don't know one person, including myself, who wakes up every morning and says...."Hey, I want to stuff my face and be fat, so that people can stare at me, and judge me". Some of these doctors are complete idiots. Being fat is NOT the problem with most people. It's just a symptom of the problem. Many people eat excessively because of emotional issues, depression, loneliness, to find comfort etc. It makes me angry that people are so quick to judge others without knowing their story or walking even a block in their shoes. Hate it!
I was and still am fat. I eat excessively due to depression, loneliness, boredom and some times I eat too much because I look at my fat belly with disgust and start eating more. I have made countless excuses in my life. Genes, "I will do it tomorrow", "I am too busy" and many more. I get judged all the time. I am a fat Asian surrounded by a culture that is obsessed with the shape you are in. And the only shape they want to see is thin. Not fit. Not healthy. Not muscular. Definitely not chubby or fat. THIN!
What the doctor said, I am afraid, is right. People are fat because they want to be. This is not BS. While your argument that no person wakes up thinking "Hey, I want to stuff my face and be fat, so that people can stare at me, and judge me" is true, we also don't wake up and then go workout, plan a healthy activity, or eat in moderation. Basically, our want to be in shape is far less than our want to be lazy. And this isn't an insult, this is just how it is. And it will remain like this till the day we decide enough is enough and actually start working towards a healthier us.0 -
Which does bring me back to my point. You're not accurately recording what you eat. I get it. I've been there. But if you're not losing weight at 1700 then you are eating too much. It's that simple.
I weigh everything, my diary is 100% accurate. If I'm not losing weight at 1700 something's WRONG. In anyone else they would be losing, not gaining, not maintaining. Which is what my point was to begin with :grumble:
Now take this question however you want but I am in no way making fun of you because keep in mind, I spent my whole adolescence and most of my adult life as obese. In your profile picture, why that shirt? That leads me back to the psychological disconnect of weight loss. It's borderline self loathing.
Oh I have a sick sense of humor. It thought it was funny. I can't even eat regular cupcakes because I have Celiac's.0 -
Which does bring me back to my point. You're not accurately recording what you eat. I get it. I've been there. But if you're not losing weight at 1700 then you are eating too much. It's that simple.
I weigh everything, my diary is 100% accurate. If I'm not losing weight at 1700 something's WRONG. In anyone else they would be losing, not gaining, not maintaining. Which is what my point was to begin with :grumble:
actually no you don't.
Looked at your diary...
January over some, not weighed mostly measured, missed days on end, partial days
Feb mostly not logged, items not weighed,
March partial days, most days not logged, when you did log it wasn't weighed mostly
sporatic logging at best in march at the start of the month
nothing on the days I clicked in april (about 1/2 of them)
no logging at all in June. Started July 13...often over goal, cup measurments oz weights (which are inaccurate).
I was heavy and yo yo'd for almost 20 years...I have no excuses for it other than eating too much and not moving enough.
No medical condition if in a deficit will prevent weight loss...and this is a perfect example of what the doctors were saying.
If you don't want to be over weight then don't be. It is not easy but it can be done.
I don't judge those who are actively trying to lose weight and are being honest with themselves about it. I don't judge those who aren't actively trying either I just feel bad for them.
^ I started looking at your diary and I agree with this. I see "2 tbs" of peanut butter many mornings and plenty of servings and "8 ounces". Is that weighed or estimated? I'd expect to see plenty of "7.8 ounces" or "8.1 ounces" if these were actually weighed out. It is a very good idea, especially when you are struggling, to weigh everything. I've gotten very good at estimating but I still weigh when I'm losing weight as it's a reality check and I know I am still more than capable of lying to myself.0 -
What are you doing now to lose weight? Presumably, your doctor is providing advice? As I said, people here are willing to help if you need it. I've seen this again and again, even with family members. There is always hidden and/or unrecorded food consumption. Always. This is also the internet. So, no I don't take what you say at face value. Experience, both my own and my friends', caution against that. If you want to dismiss that because I don't "understand" then that is your choice.
My doctor is monitoring right now. He said to eat more protein. That's about the only "advice" he has given besides "wait and see, keep doing what you're doing when your hormones balance out you should see a change". Right now what I did was figure out my TDEE which is like 2500 something and decided to eat below that but still somewhere where I'm not ravenously hungry all the time. MFP set the calories at 1770 and I'm eating back some of my exercise calories. I started doing interval runs again 3x's/ week. I'm at least trying to get the running part back to where I was. I had to stop being active about a year ago after abdominal surgery knocked me on my butt and I'm at the point of "screw it I'm going to be in major pain anyway". This is a change from what I used to do which was eat 1500 calories and not eat back my exercise calories since that didn't work anyway and just made me frustrated and hungry. Trying to really be cognizant of protein and salt intake. there's no hidden or unrecorded food here, I understand why you might think that but there's not. If there were I wouldn't have recorded that piece of cake I ate last night. Ha.
I posted above about weighing. Seriously, weigh everything. You should also be focusing on lean meats, dairy, and eggs as your primary protein sources if you eat them (and it appears that you do). Those protein sources and vegetables should be making up the vast majority of your diet. Peanut butter is fine on days when you need to hit your fat macro but don't look at it as a protein source. It is a fat source. Fat is necessary. Also, keep your popcorn and candy consumption at a small amount of your daily total. At 1700 calories, 400-500 calories of that is crowding out protein and fiber. Keep at it, weigh and measure, clean up your diet a bit, and finally, start strength training.0 -
Which does bring me back to my point. You're not accurately recording what you eat. I get it. I've been there. But if you're not losing weight at 1700 then you are eating too much. It's that simple.
I weigh everything, my diary is 100% accurate. If I'm not losing weight at 1700 something's WRONG. In anyone else they would be losing, not gaining, not maintaining. Which is what my point was to begin with :grumble:
actually no you don't.
Looked at your diary...
January over some, not weighed mostly measured, missed days on end, partial days
Feb mostly not logged, items not weighed,
March partial days, most days not logged, when you did log it wasn't weighed mostly
sporatic logging at best in march at the start of the month
nothing on the days I clicked in april (about 1/2 of them)
no logging at all in June. Started July 13...often over goal, cup measurments oz weights (which are inaccurate).
I was heavy and yo yo'd for almost 20 years...I have no excuses for it other than eating too much and not moving enough.
No medical condition if in a deficit will prevent weight loss...and this is a perfect example of what the doctors were saying.
If you don't want to be over weight then don't be. It is not easy but it can be done.
I don't judge those who are actively trying to lose weight and are being honest with themselves about it. I don't judge those who aren't actively trying either I just feel bad for them.
I haven't been using MFP to log. I had sometimes been using it to check macro nutrients per my doc's request but haven't started using MFP to be my log until July. I've been keeping a paper diary. And no, they're not cup measurements it's just how it's entered into MFP. Example: 1/2 a cup of ice cream is 62 grams. I'm using my scale to measure out the grams but MFP is logging it in cups or ounces. Still the same stats but when I log it, it comes up with a different unit of measurement even though that's EXACTLY what's on the box. I've been over my goal 3 times. And, again, still under 2000 cals except for yesterday. That shouldn't cause someone my size to gain weight.0 -
Unfortunately what the doctor is saying is true. Being overweight or obese is self inflicted. No one is forcing someone to eat more than they should. Food to some is just as addicting as tobacco is to smokers. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who gets lung cancer after smoking for decades? Not many. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who is considered obese that dies, or contracts a related disease associated with their weight. Again not many.
Medication that causes weight gain is not self-inflicted.
And even then, it's not the medication that makes people gain weight is it? Isn't it that the medication causes them to be more hungry so they over eat and gain weight?0 -
"I am fat because I continually make decisions that keep me fat."0
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Unfortunately what the doctor is saying is true. Being overweight or obese is self inflicted. No one is forcing someone to eat more than they should. Food to some is just as addicting as tobacco is to smokers. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who gets lung cancer after smoking for decades? Not many. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who is considered obese that dies, or contracts a related disease associated with their weight. Again not many.
In life you can avoid smoking ... food on the other hand you can't
But i take responsibility for the bad food choice I make .. I stumble then I get back on it.0 -
This is true - to an extent. This discussion is based on the idea that these choices are at the same level of difficulty for everyone. However, and there is plenty of scientific research to back this up, it's likely, statistically speaking, that people who are chronically overweight also are dealing with certain additional struggles: (1) metabolic dysfunction which makes them more likely than others to store fat; (2) pleasure circuits in their brain which are wired to get as much pleasure from eating unhealthy food as other people do from addictive drugs; (3) economic hardship - remember that bad food is cheaper than good food in the US; (4) a history of depression or significant psychological trauma. None of these issues, with the possible exception of #3, are that person's fault, they are NOT a choice. And even #3 is usually a combination of personal choices and structural circumstances.
I am lucky enough to have friends who never judge me for what I look like but also welcome and support the idea of me getting healthier - they know I don't "choose" to be unhealthy, even though sometimes I make bad food or exercise choices. My thinner friends also make bad health choices, like smoking or drinking too much, but they don't wear those bad choices on their body in the same way that I do.
(And don't be all like "but it was hard for me too!" because of course it was. There are different degrees of hardship. Just because it was hard for you to lose weight doesn't mean it's not EVEN WORSE for someone else with a lot of these other factors going against them. We live in an obesogenic society. The only people who find it easy to lose weight are people who are unusually metabolically gifted, are slightly obsessive, or can afford a personal trainer.)
This is what I was thinking but said soo much better0 -
I posted above about weighing. Seriously, weigh everything. You should also be focusing on lean meats, dairy, and eggs as your primary protein sources if you eat them (and it appears that you do). Those protein sources and vegetables should be making up the vast majority of your diet. Peanut butter is fine on days when you need to hit your fat macro but don't look at it as a protein source. It is a fat source. Fat is necessary. Also, keep your popcorn and candy consumption at a small amount of your daily total. At 1700 calories, 400-500 calories of that is crowding out protein and fiber. Keep at it, weigh and measure, clean up your diet a bit, and finally, start strength training.
I weigh everything. I have this wonderful little red scale that goes right in my purse to work with me if I didn't weigh everything the night before. I'm working on the cleaning it up I have a sugar problem. I crave it like crazy so I try to fit it in. Now with the strength training, I plan on throwing in a day there a week when I get a little stronger. Trying to stick to one thing before I throw in something new.0
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