Has anyone ever been dumped because of their weight?

tayleigh4

2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I am 'too fat for him.' He is 170 pounds and 6'3. I WAS 192.2 pounds and 5'3. Right now I'm 174.4 pounds. He said that for the past few months he lost all attraction towards me, he said I was too fat and I need to lose weight. Has anyone else ever been broken up with because their partner wasn't attracted to them/because of their weight? It is a horrible feeling, but he opened my eyes on my health.

lessismoreohio

What you describe is more a reflection of his shallowness and immaturity than it is of your weight.

He sounds like a bully and you may be better off without him.

PRMinx

Success is the best revenge.

jemhh

It seems strange that he would date you for 7 months and then when you are losing weight decide that he thinks you are too heavy. It's a late reaction, right?

Regardless, I am sorry that you are going through this. Keep taking care of yourself and don't let it get you off track. You are doing great.

swimn10s

Hey Tayant4. I think your ex needs glasses cause you look really cute to me :-). That being said I agree with lessismoreohi. Take it as his own shallowness, and you shouldn't want to be with someone who judges you as a person based on your weight.

keshabbaker

You are better off without him. You should lose weight for yourself and never for anyone else. There plenty of fish in the sea and believe me they like girls in all different shapes and sizes. Get healthy don't worry about your weight just eat right and exercise. He doesn't deserve you and he is the one who will be missing out. Let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!!!!!!!

Realtree2429

You say he opened your eyes to your health and that's good. However, if he cared about you, exactly for who you are, then he would have (should have) spoken to you as an equal and expressed his concerns for your health. Not dumped you.

I have always been so hard on myself over my weight and one time my husband finally told me "It makes me sad when you talk about yourself that way, because I love you for you. And I think you're beautiful." I don't know how I got so lucky, hold out for someone that looks at you exactly that way! You won't be sorry!

I'm sorry you are hurting, lose weight and get healthy for you and no one else! Then, when he comes crawling back to you, think of how fun it will be to laugh in his face and tell him that he doesn't deserve you!!!!! Because I can guarantee, he doesn't!

thunderthighs0585

Actually, I was dating back in the day when I was skinny and I was told by more than one of my dates that I was too skinny. Now that I have gained weight I have had no complaints. Guys like a little more...
But I agree with lessismoreohio, your ex-boyfriend's comments are a reflection of his immaturity rather than your appearance.

oremus1

how can he love yu for richer/pooer in sickness/health if he cant handle a bit of flab

laserqueen

I'm so very sorry this happened to you. I am happy for you, though, that it happened sooner rather than later. On the cusp of our 20th wedding anniversary, my husband sent me a letter addressed to "Fail Whale" detailing how I had failed to lose enough weight to satisfy him from even before our marriage. We are finally divorced and I've recovered enough to be here taking back control of my life.

Move on and count yourself lucky. You will feel lucky after a healing time, maybe not now. Don't settle for being treated like that ever again. Good luck!

Jennisin1

Yes.. I had had our second baby in two years and was 30lbs heavier, while still nursing our youngest.

"I was everything he wanted in a woman; kind, giving, sweet.... but not pretty enough"......................

I lost the 30lbs within 6 weeks of stopping nursings once my hormones regulated (I was eating healthy and working out as I did pre-pregnancy, but the human body is a complex machine). I then lost another 15...

and the best part is, my part time fitness instructor ex... has gained every one of those 30lbs I lost...

so, yeah...... it blows people's mind.

_BearNecessities_

What you describe is more a reflection of his shallowness and immaturity than it is of your weight.

He sounds like a bully and you may be better off without him.

I agree with the first part of this. OP, your ex is an idiot. Good riddance.

The second part, however, I could not disagree more with. "Bully" is a term that is used WAY too easily in this day and age. OP's ex is a jerk and a turd, but nothing in that OP suggests bullying.

Actually, I was dating back in the day when I was skinny and I was told by more than one of my dates that I was too skinny. Now that I have gained weight I have had no complaints. Guys like a little more...

Not necessarily. Depends on the guy. Shockingly, we all like different things.

PRMinx

What you describe is more a reflection of his shallowness and immaturity than it is of your weight.

He sounds like a bully and you may be better off without him.

I agree with the first part of this. OP, your ex is an idiot. Good riddance.

The second part, however, I could not disagree more with. "Bully" is a term that is used WAY too easily in this day and age. OP's ex is a jerk and a turd, but nothing in that OP suggests bullying.

Actually, I was dating back in the day when I was skinny and I was told by more than one of my dates that I was too skinny. Now that I have gained weight I have had no complaints. Guys like a little more...

Not necessarily. Depends on the guy. Shockingly, we all like different things.

Say it ain't so!

Sendyk

I've been married over 12 years and have had 3 awesome kids in the meanwhile. So like many women who've had kids, I gained weight and my body changed drastically. My DH has always had a fast metabolism plus he works out very often and keeps himself in pretty good shape. Compared to him, I felt frumpy and was VERY self conscious. I was often angry at myself and sometimes (many times) took it out on him because I felt he wasn't attracted to me anymore. To me, it felt like betrayal. Bitterness and hurt really ate at the relationship. After a long time of this crap mentality, my husband and I sat down and he actually confessed to me that he thought that I had lost interest in him! (A knee injury laid him out and kept him from his fitness routine.) So, I told him that even if he doubled his weight in fat I'd still love and want him. It NEVER occurred to me that he would ever feel that way and THEN it hit me that if he loved me more than when were first together, he would NEVER see me as UNattractive just like I would never see HIM as UNattractive. Yeah, I know it's a bit corny and maybe long-winded, but I just got done an intense HIIT workout and wanted to put my two-cents in before I forget. ;p So, lesson here is that if he (your ex-hole) REALLY loved/liked/wanted you for you, he would've stuck around, maybe done the fitness thing together. But it seems that he was only interested in the superficial. Doesn't sound like he's worth the heartache, girl. Chin up, he did you a favor by letting you know he was a douche early on before you REALLY got your feelings invested.

ew_david

No I have not.

I have had sex withheld though. That was mature.

XX_Miss_RoseMary_XX

Oh hell no. I have put on 80lbs since meeting my husband 6 years ago. He still thinks I'm beautiful. Though I am losing weight but that is more for me than him.

You need someone who loves you for you.

HeidiCooksSupper

Sure, but I dated a plethora of guys over the course of my 42 years of hunting for Mr. Right (to whom I am now blissfully wed). In this case, though, it sounds like he felt he needed a "parting shot" to make it your fault not his that he was bailing out.

T'is always better to be the dumper than the dumpee. Sadly, we take our chances when we embark upon relationships. Some end with a handshake; some (like this one of yours) end when someone decides to be an *kitten* on his way out the door.

Illigitimi non carborundum -- ersatz Latin for "Don't let the *kitten* grind you down."

_SantaClause

Yep.

Her doing it was the wake up call I needed. I wasn't treating myself the way I should have been. Of course, there were some other circumstances as well.

We are still friends to this day, and my life is 100x better because of her.

dMonster01

You can't really blame him. Without attraction a relationship is doomed, at least he was honest about it. Hurtful, yes, but it would hurt a lot more to be with someone who doesn't find you attractive.

ILoveMyHotFatBody

It's bizarre that he would leave you for "being too fat" even though he started dating you when you were 20 pounds heavier.

Here's an interesting fact (and I'm going to preface this by saying that, based on your picture, you are extremely pretty): sometimes people are better looking when they're heavier. I'm one of them. My husband, who's been with me since we were teenagers, tells me all the time that he prefers how I look at 230 pounds (my current weight) to how I looked at 150 pounds (what I weighed when we started dating).

In our society, we often use "fat" as a synonym for "ugly." So when someone becomes uglier to us, our knee-jerk reaction, sometimes, is to think or to say--hey, they've gotten fatter... even if, actually, they've gotten skinnier.

So, it could be that he's less attracted to you at your new smaller weight, but he has limited vocabulary and the only descriptor he can come up with is "fat."

Either way, it sounds like you're better off without him. He's either. a.) stupid with a tiny vocabulary, b.) shallow, or c.) both.

You're hot. Go find someone who doesn't suck.

Vortex_ConQueso

2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I am 'too fat for him.' He is 170 pounds and 6'3. I WAS 192.2 pounds and 5'3. Right now I'm 174.4 pounds. He said that for the past few months he lost all attraction towards me, he said I was too fat and I need to lose weight. Has anyone else ever been broken up with because their partner wasn't attracted to them/because of their weight? It is a horrible feeling, but he opened my eyes on my health.

You lost 17.8 lbs in two weeks? Wow! That's really impressive! And while his actions suck, when you're done and he's all hot and bothered, you can tell him he's too much of a douche for you to be attracted to him!

_BearNecessities_

You can't really blame him. Without attraction a relationship is doomed, at least he was honest about it. Hurtful, yes, but it would hurt a lot more to be with someone who doesn't find you attractive.

BULLY!!!!!!!!!

ILoveMyHotFatBody

Actually, I was dating back in the day when I was skinny and I was told by more than one of my dates that I was too skinny. Now that I have gained weight I have had no complaints. Guys like a little more...
But I agree with lessismoreohio, your ex-boyfriend's comments are a reflection of his immaturity rather than your appearance.

Right on.

Cameron_1969

I was doing an overhead squat the other day and lost my balance and had to dump the weight, so yeah. .

wait. .wut?

eranganm8

Yeah I was... not directly but indirectly... his parents were so envious of our relationship b'coz I was too fat and too dark.. and he took his parents opinion and dumped me.. (what he said was he had no problem with my appearance but he cannot go against his parents wishes) I loved him so very much and I couldn't get over him for 3 years now. for about a year I did stress eating and became huge.. then he hooked up with another girl,and his parents didn't like her too.. but he married her against his parents wishes. so I guess in my case he actually secretly wanted to dump me bcoz I was not good enough in his eyes. how ever last year I thought what the hell and really wanted to change myself for my own sake. I was fed up being FATTY. His parents attitudes were ringing over and over and over in my ears. I was so sad to think that he might have not loved me really. so I exchange sorrow, anger and frustration in to sweat and strength.. in a year I lost 17kgs.. last time when he saw me he was shocked to see me in average size., even all of his friends said that I was looking hot and way better than his wife.. and said he was an idiot to loose me.. But I don't care anymore.. now I'm so doing this for myself and myself only.and for that thing not to happen I would still be a FATTY..

So you go girl.... make it backfire on him...

Kontxesi

I actually think that my ex was dating me BECAUSE I'm fat. (He's not exactly little, either.) He was "supportive" of me losing weight, but also trying to subtly sabotage me.... He wanted to keep me fat so I'd feel like other guys wouldn't want me.

It's a little silly that it took him 7 months to figure out that he doesn't like bigger girls, so maybe that wasn't even his real reason? Who knows. All that's important is this: you don't need to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. There are plenty of people out there who will love you the way you are now but also be supportive of your goals to get healthier. You'll find one!

Sendyk

I was doing an overhead squat the other day and lost my balance and had to dump the weight, so yeah. .

wait. .wut?

LOL. Nice.

rsclause

No, I got fat after I was married. However after I lost my gut she opted to replace the wedding band I lost 33 years ago.

tayleigh4

Thank you EVERYONE for your kind words. And thank you to the sarcastic *kitten*.

tayleigh4

Success is the best revenge.

I totally agree!! Xo.

tayleigh4

It seems strange that he would date you for 7 months and then when you are losing weight decide that he thinks you are too heavy. It's a late reaction, right?

Regardless, I am sorry that you are going through this. Keep taking care of yourself and don't let it get you off track. You are doing great.

I thought the same thing myself! Like why date someone if you're not attracted to them in the first place? He clearly has problems. I have been doing so well with my mental & physical health. Thank you so much. 47 pounds, that's amazing!! Keep up your good work!!