Has anyone ever been dumped because of their weight?

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  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
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    I'm speculating but to me it sounds like he just needed a reason so he picked the first one he could come up with.

    You know, instead of just saying it wasn't working out, he just made it your fault (even though you weigh less than you did when you first met).

    So yeah. Good riddance.

    That has crossed my mind too, it really didn't have to go down like that, but you know how some men are..
  • jmmurray203
    jmmurray203 Posts: 13 Member
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    7 months isn't a long time, better to find out now. I know it seems like it is at the time. It is good he gave you the true reason instead of leaving you wondering, or worse never said anything allowed the relationship to get toxic. You got some motivation out of it at least!
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
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    I haven't been dumped, but I never dated much. One guy I was seeing said he wanted to keep our relationship a secret. I am not sure what his exact reasons were, but my brain said he was ashamed for his friends to know he was dating a 250 pound girl. So I told him we wanted different things and broke it off myself. I actually don't know why he wanted the "secret" relationship, but he didn't put up much of a fight when I said it was over.

    Now, I have a wonderful hubby who loves me no matter what. I am kind of glad everything else didn't work.

    That is amazing! You deserve a man who LOVES showing you off and who loves you no matter what! ;)
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
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    Not dumped but my wife started going to the gym while I sat at home played computer games and ate pizza and drank sugary drinks. She started showing interest in other fitter men this along with other stressful events in my life lead me to start taking care of myself better. I run and have started a weight training program. I feel way better and I dont sit on the computer all the time anymore. I will say I have a few TV shows I enjoy. I started running primarly as a stress reliever and that is what started it all. My wife and I are still together and I think happier than weve ever been together. But I would not wish what I went thru emotionally on anyone. I say he is a boyfriend, no kids no real investment in the relationship, move on. As stated earlier you are a very attractive woman and you deserve better. Just for the record I do this for myself and how it makes me feel when im done and in general.

    That is great, keep up your great work :) thank you very much.
  • JVP3122
    JVP3122 Posts: 2
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    When I started dating my wife about 9 years ago I was about 240 at 6'3" with a very large frame. At one point, mainly due to her cooking abilities, I ballooned up to a max of about 315. I was just about 3 bills in January 2012, ended up doing a lot of walking and dropped some weight, started WW in July 2012 at 275 and by February 2013 I was below 200. The one thing that I remember my wife saying to me through all of it is that she was worried that she'd miss my chubby cheeks if I lost a lot of weight. At this point in our relationship she doesn't really care much what I look like weight-wise. I'm sure you'll find someone like that for you eventually.
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
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    2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I am 'too fat for him.' He is 170 pounds and 6'3. I WAS 192.2 pounds and 5'3. Right now I'm 174.4 pounds. He said that for the past few months he lost all attraction towards me, he said I was too fat and I need to lose weight. Has anyone else ever been broken up with because their partner wasn't attracted to them/because of their weight? It is a horrible feeling, but he opened my eyes on my health.

    I can relate,

    I was bullied because of my weight in ALL of my school yrs, so much that I never even cared for college. It traumatized me. Anyway a few years passed and I lost about 30 lbs. This time I was curvaceous, but I still had my thick legs. Anyway, here are typical situations like yours:

    - one guy told me that he would love to date me, but my legs where too thick and I needed to lose about 10 lbs
    - this one guy told me that we could "see each other on the down low", but that as soon as I lost weight he would make it official
    - when I was in high school this guy kept telling others he would rather "date a dog" than date me.
    - when I lost the 30 lbs, one guy called me and said "hey now you are like me!! skinny!! yo we should hook up".

    It is a good thing that you are seeing the break up in a positive manner and made you aware of your health (although I wish it wasn't under that circumstance). He did you a favor, trust me. No one should be with someone as shallow as him. Lord forbid you get into an accident and you get a permanent scar...what now? he is going to leave you??

    What you need is, to tell him "thank you" and leave that trash on the curb for some other girl to pick him up.

    Please do not let his words get to you, take this opportunity to focus on your health and a better you and the right man will come along.

    Wow that's so terrible. I was bullied as well. I've also had so many guys tell me that I would be pretty if I were skinny. You are gorgeous no matter what. He did definitely do me a favor, I have never been so motivated to be healthy and love myself. When this is all said and done, I am going to thank him, because if he never broke up with me, I wouldn't be becoming a healthier and better me everyday. His words mean nothing to me at this point, my health means everything right now :) thank you love. Stay kind, you deserve the world.
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
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    Keep your head up girl! You totally dodged a bullet with this one as he sounds like a real jerk.

    Thank you love. He is!
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
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    7 months isn't a long time, better to find out now. I know it seems like it is at the time. It is good he gave you the true reason instead of leaving you wondering, or worse never said anything allowed the relationship to get toxic. You got some motivation out of it at least!

    I wish he broke up with me sooner, but that's true. I know some guys who just leave without reason and actually give a girl hope. I did get a bunch of motivation! ;)
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
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    When I started dating my wife about 9 years ago I was about 240 at 6'3" with a very large frame. At one point, mainly due to her cooking abilities, I ballooned up to a max of about 315. I was just about 3 bills in January 2012, ended up doing a lot of walking and dropped some weight, started WW in July 2012 at 275 and by February 2013 I was below 200. The one thing that I remember my wife saying to me through all of it is that she was worried that she'd miss my chubby cheeks if I lost a lot of weight. At this point in our relationship she doesn't really care much what I look like weight-wise. I'm sure you'll find someone like that for you eventually.

    Congrats on your amazing weight loss! Keep working hard. That's success and hard work right there :) you have a wonderful wife. I will, I'm in no rush to find anyone :)
  • sfsoccermom2
    sfsoccermom2 Posts: 233 Member
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    Yes, my ex-husband of 26 years told me many times over the years that I was too heavy, even at 125 pounds. Right before he left, he managed to tell me how he wasn't attracted to me anymore because of my weight. will tell you that his words haunt me all the time and I realize now that is why I got so heavy, because I was never good enough. Problem is, it wasn't me, it's him. I would never have been good enough. He is the one that has the issues and I wish I could have seen it sooner.

    You are so much better off without him, although you may not feel that way now. We need people in our lives that love us for who we are. We are each special in our own ways.
  • RockstarWilson
    RockstarWilson Posts: 836 Member
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    2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I am 'too fat for him.' He is 170 pounds and 6'3. I WAS 192.2 pounds and 5'3. Right now I'm 174.4 pounds. He said that for the past few months he lost all attraction towards me, he said I was too fat and I need to lose weight. Has anyone else ever been broken up with because their partner wasn't attracted to them/because of their weight? It is a horrible feeling, but he opened my eyes on my health.

    Psychologically speaking, the dude was not that into you if that is his reason. While men's sexual desire is almost 100% visual/physical (as opposed to women that are more emotional/sensual), there is usually some form of chemistry worked in that allows for that attraction. It can be argued that most people have a "type," but it can also be argued against. IMO, if the excuse he used was your weight, when he was attracted to it in the first place and (in theory) should have been even more turned on when you lost weight, then one of these three things is probably true: He lost chemistry with you, he is indeed a very shallow guy that is unable to get close to someone (thank pop culture for that), or he is truly a chubby chaser whereby his excuse that you are too fat for him is just a cover-up. In any of those cases, it is beyond your control, and you should do the best you can to get over it, keep with the program, and move on.
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
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    After reading many of these I am very grateful for my partner Chris, who is amazing and very supportive.

    Your ex is a douche bag, be does not deserve you.
    You dodged a bullet.
  • boredlimodriver
    boredlimodriver Posts: 264 Member
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    His loss
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    You're ex was too immature for you and you are better off without him. He sounds like a shallow jerk to me and you don't need that negativity in your life. You need someone who will accept you no matter what you look like and will be supportive. Congrats on the weight loss!!!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    What you describe is more a reflection of his shallowness and immaturity than it is of your weight.

    He sounds like a bully and you may be better off without him.

    I totally agree.
  • RockstarWilson
    RockstarWilson Posts: 836 Member
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    btw....do not totally give him all the negative. While a lot of it is on him, there is a strong possibility that his attraction to you (or lack thereof) is out of his control, too. He may not totally know it, either. But I believe people are almost 100% a product of their upbringing and their environment (another psychological hot topic with humans). Maybe he has a circle of friends that sets a standard of what is hot and not, and his brain is trained to think that certain way. In which case, he may truly think you are too fat for him.

    Before I get bashed by the she-woman man-haters, I do not know the details or anything. I am just pointing to possibilities. If you can gain perspective, you can better understand it, have a lot less anger towards him, and be better off with the next person as you may not be so skeptical. There are plenty of jerks out there. It is not worth the energy to get hung on one. It may ruin it for the nice guy when you eventually get to him when you are 34 ;-).
  • ivygirl1937
    ivygirl1937 Posts: 899 Member
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    Yes, I have, more than once. It's a horrible thing to have to go through and I'm so sorry it happened to you, sweetie. I also had a boyfriend (now ex, of course) that would ask me EVERY SINGLE DAY if I was going to lose weight or if I COULD lose weight (really? Am I beyond help or something). To say it was hurtful is an understatement. I broke up with him because I didn't need that in my life. And in the end, it taught me what I did want and what I DIDN'T want in a relationship. There will always be guys like that, but like everyone else said, they are shallow jerks and you don't want to be with them anyway. I got married to my husband (who is thin) at my heaviest weight ever and he still said (and continues to say) every day how beautiful I am, how attracted to me he is, how much he loves me, and if I mention my weight, he says he doesn't care, he'd love me at any weight. How I was so blessed, I don't know, but that's the guy you want. And you know what? His acceptance of me as I am gave me the motivation to lose. :) In short, forget the jerk and move on. You are entirely too adorable and beautiful for him anyway. You could do way better.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
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    2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I am 'too fat for him.' He is 170 pounds and 6'3. I WAS 192.2 pounds and 5'3. Right now I'm 174.4 pounds. He said that for the past few months he lost all attraction towards me, he said I was too fat and I need to lose weight. Has anyone else ever been broken up with because their partner wasn't attracted to them/because of their weight? It is a horrible feeling, but he opened my eyes on my health.

    He sounds like a total *kitten*. Be happy he broke up with you because eventually he'll be another girls problem :)

    ETA: A few years ago I went out with a guy a few times and I think it was our 3rd date when he said to me "Tracy - you'd be a totaly hottie if you'd lose like - 15 pounds. Can you do that for me??"

    I didn't return his calls or texts after that and never saw him again.
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
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    Yes, my ex-husband of 26 years told me many times over the years that I was too heavy, even at 125 pounds. Right before he left, he managed to tell me how he wasn't attracted to me anymore because of my weight. will tell you that his words haunt me all the time and I realize now that is why I got so heavy, because I was never good enough. Problem is, it wasn't me, it's him. I would never have been good enough. He is the one that has the issues and I wish I could have seen it sooner.

    You are so much better off without him, although you may not feel that way now. We need people in our lives that love us for who we are. We are each special in our own ways.

    Wow, 125 pounds? That is a perfect weight, you are beautiful and you ARE good enough. I am better off without him, as are you with your ex husband. You deserve to be loved and you deserve everything! Xo. Never change who you are, you seem like a great person.
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
    Options
    2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I am 'too fat for him.' He is 170 pounds and 6'3. I WAS 192.2 pounds and 5'3. Right now I'm 174.4 pounds. He said that for the past few months he lost all attraction towards me, he said I was too fat and I need to lose weight. Has anyone else ever been broken up with because their partner wasn't attracted to them/because of their weight? It is a horrible feeling, but he opened my eyes on my health.

    Psychologically speaking, the dude was not that into you if that is his reason. While men's sexual desire is almost 100% visual/physical (as opposed to women that are more emotional/sensual), there is usually some form of chemistry worked in that allows for that attraction. It can be argued that most people have a "type," but it can also be argued against. IMO, if the excuse he used was your weight, when he was attracted to it in the first place and (in theory) should have been even more turned on when you lost weight, then one of these three things is probably true: He lost chemistry with you, he is indeed a very shallow guy that is unable to get close to someone (thank pop culture for that), or he is truly a chubby chaser whereby his excuse that you are too fat for him is just a cover-up. In any of those cases, it is beyond your control, and you should do the best you can to get over it, keep with the program, and move on.

    I think he lost chemistry, honestly. Thank you for your honesty and I will do my best to move on! :)

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