Has anyone ever been dumped because of their weight?

tayleigh4

I'm so very sorry this happened to you. I am happy for you, though, that it happened sooner rather than later. On the cusp of our 20th wedding anniversary, my husband sent me a letter addressed to "Fail Whale" detailing how I had failed to lose enough weight to satisfy him from even before our marriage. We are finally divorced and I've recovered enough to be here taking back control of my life.

Move on and count yourself lucky. You will feel lucky after a healing time, maybe not now. Don't settle for being treated like that ever again. Good luck!

I agree. I wish he would've ended it with me so much earlier. And wow, that is TERRIBLE. So sad to hear that, you are beautiful. He is not a good man. I'm so happy that you're taking back control of your life. You deserve the WORLD. I hope you realize how amazing you are! Good luck to you too! Xo.

tayleigh4

Yes.. I had had our second baby in two years and was 30lbs heavier, while still nursing our youngest.

"I was everything he wanted in a woman; kind, giving, sweet.... but not pretty enough"......................

I lost the 30lbs within 6 weeks of stopping nursings once my hormones regulated (I was eating healthy and working out as I did pre-pregnancy, but the human body is a complex machine). I then lost another 15...

and the best part is, my part time fitness instructor ex... has gained every one of those 30lbs I lost...

so, yeah...... it blows people's mind.

That is amazing, good for you! You don't deserve that at all. You're gorgeous. Never let yourself be treated like that again.

tayleigh4

I've been married over 12 years and have had 3 awesome kids in the meanwhile. So like many women who've had kids, I gained weight and my body changed drastically. My DH has always had a fast metabolism plus he works out very often and keeps himself in pretty good shape. Compared to him, I felt frumpy and was VERY self conscious. I was often angry at myself and sometimes (many times) took it out on him because I felt he wasn't attracted to me anymore. To me, it felt like betrayal. Bitterness and hurt really ate at the relationship. After a long time of this crap mentality, my husband and I sat down and he actually confessed to me that he thought that I had lost interest in him! (A knee injury laid him out and kept him from his fitness routine.) So, I told him that even if he doubled his weight in fat I'd still love and want him. It NEVER occurred to me that he would ever feel that way and THEN it hit me that if he loved me more than when were first together, he would NEVER see me as UNattractive just like I would never see HIM as UNattractive. Yeah, I know it's a bit corny and maybe long-winded, but I just got done an intense HIIT workout and wanted to put my two-cents in before I forget. ;p So, lesson here is that if he (your ex-hole) REALLY loved/liked/wanted you for you, he would've stuck around, maybe done the fitness thing together. But it seems that he was only interested in the superficial. Doesn't sound like he's worth the heartache, girl. Chin up, he did you a favor by letting you know he was a douche early on before you REALLY got your feelings invested.

Thank you so much, your story is so sweet. You will have an amazing rest of your life with your wonderful husband he did do me a favor, I'm becoming a better me every single day!

KimWW

I haven't been dumped, but I never dated much. One guy I was seeing said he wanted to keep our relationship a secret. I am not sure what his exact reasons were, but my brain said he was ashamed for his friends to know he was dating a 250 pound girl. So I told him we wanted different things and broke it off myself. I actually don't know why he wanted the "secret" relationship, but he didn't put up much of a fight when I said it was over.

Now, I have a wonderful hubby who loves me no matter what. I am kind of glad everything else didn't work.

tayleigh4

No I have not.

I have had sex withheld though. That was mature.

Yeah, he also told me that our sex was a 4/10 and it would be better if I was skinny. Lol.

tayleigh4

Oh hell no. I have put on 80lbs since meeting my husband 6 years ago. He still thinks I'm beautiful. Though I am losing weight but that is more for me than him.

You need someone who loves you for you.

You are beautiful and I'm sure your husband is an amazing guy. I do! And I will find him one day, in the meantime, I'm working on myself

tayleigh4

Sure, but I dated a plethora of guys over the course of my 42 years of hunting for Mr. Right (to whom I am now blissfully wed). In this case, though, it sounds like he felt he needed a "parting shot" to make it your fault not his that he was bailing out.

T'is always better to be the dumper than the dumpee. Sadly, we take our chances when we embark upon relationships. Some end with a handshake; some (like this one of yours) end when someone decides to be an *kitten* on his way out the door.

Illigitimi non carborundum -- ersatz Latin for "Don't let the *kitten* grind you down."

That is most likely the case. He did throw many jabs at me.

tayleigh4

Yep.

Her doing it was the wake up call I needed. I wasn't treating myself the way I should have been. Of course, there were some other circumstances as well.

We are still friends to this day, and my life is 100x better because of her.

This was a wake up call to me also! I'm so glad your life is great

tayleigh4

You can't really blame him. Without attraction a relationship is doomed, at least he was honest about it. Hurtful, yes, but it would hurt a lot more to be with someone who doesn't find you attractive.

Trust me, I completely understand that. I could NEVER date someone I was not attracted to. However, I wouldn't lead them on for 7 months "hoping" one day I would be attracted to them. You're either attracted or not at the beginning. I totally get that you need attraction.

tayleigh4

It's bizarre that he would leave you for "being too fat" even though he started dating you when you were 20 pounds heavier.

Here's an interesting fact (and I'm going to preface this by saying that, based on your picture, you are extremely pretty): sometimes people are better looking when they're heavier. I'm one of them. My husband, who's been with me since we were teenagers, tells me all the time that he prefers how I look at 230 pounds (my current weight) to how I looked at 150 pounds (what I weighed when we started dating).

In our society, we often use "fat" as a synonym for "ugly." So when someone becomes uglier to us, our knee-jerk reaction, sometimes, is to think or to say--hey, they've gotten fatter... even if, actually, they've gotten skinnier.

So, it could be that he's less attracted to you at your new smaller weight, but he has limited vocabulary and the only descriptor he can come up with is "fat."

Either way, it sounds like you're better off without him. He's either. a.) stupid with a tiny vocabulary, b.) shallow, or c.) both.

You're hot. Go find someone who doesn't suck.

Haha you're awesome. And your husband seems sweet and supportive and loving. I agree with you, and I think the answer is C thank you love.

belgerian

Not dumped but my wife started going to the gym while I sat at home played computer games and ate pizza and drank sugary drinks. She started showing interest in other fitter men this along with other stressful events in my life lead me to start taking care of myself better. I run and have started a weight training program. I feel way better and I dont sit on the computer all the time anymore. I will say I have a few TV shows I enjoy. I started running primarly as a stress reliever and that is what started it all. My wife and I are still together and I think happier than weve ever been together. But I would not wish what I went thru emotionally on anyone. I say he is a boyfriend, no kids no real investment in the relationship, move on. As stated earlier you are a very attractive woman and you deserve better. Just for the record I do this for myself and how it makes me feel when im done and in general.

tayleigh4

2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I am 'too fat for him.' He is 170 pounds and 6'3. I WAS 192.2 pounds and 5'3. Right now I'm 174.4 pounds. He said that for the past few months he lost all attraction towards me, he said I was too fat and I need to lose weight. Has anyone else ever been broken up with because their partner wasn't attracted to them/because of their weight? It is a horrible feeling, but he opened my eyes on my health.

You lost 17.8 lbs in two weeks? Wow! That's really impressive! And while his actions suck, when you're done and he's all hot and bothered, you can tell him he's too much of a douche for you to be attracted to him!

Haha I know right. And yep, I've worked my *kitten* off at the gym.

findingmarina

2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I am 'too fat for him.' He is 170 pounds and 6'3. I WAS 192.2 pounds and 5'3. Right now I'm 174.4 pounds. He said that for the past few months he lost all attraction towards me, he said I was too fat and I need to lose weight. Has anyone else ever been broken up with because their partner wasn't attracted to them/because of their weight? It is a horrible feeling, but he opened my eyes on my health.

I can relate,

I was bullied because of my weight in ALL of my school yrs, so much that I never even cared for college. It traumatized me. Anyway a few years passed and I lost about 30 lbs. This time I was curvaceous, but I still had my thick legs. Anyway, here are typical situations like yours:

- one guy told me that he would love to date me, but my legs where too thick and I needed to lose about 10 lbs
- this one guy told me that we could "see each other on the down low", but that as soon as I lost weight he would make it official
- when I was in high school this guy kept telling others he would rather "date a dog" than date me.
- when I lost the 30 lbs, one guy called me and said "hey now you are like me!! skinny!! yo we should hook up".

It is a good thing that you are seeing the break up in a positive manner and made you aware of your health (although I wish it wasn't under that circumstance). He did you a favor, trust me. No one should be with someone as shallow as him. Lord forbid you get into an accident and you get a permanent scar...what now? he is going to leave you??

What you need is, to tell him "thank you" and leave that trash on the curb for some other girl to pick him up.

Please do not let his words get to you, take this opportunity to focus on your health and a better you and the right man will come along.

MiaisMIAinMiami

Keep your head up girl! You totally dodged a bullet with this one as he sounds like a real jerk.

tayleigh4

I was doing an overhead squat the other day and lost my balance and had to dump the weight, so yeah. .

wait. .wut?

Your joke was so funny I forgot to laugh.

tayleigh4

Yeah I was... not directly but indirectly... his parents were so envious of our relationship b'coz I was too fat and too dark.. and he took his parents opinion and dumped me.. (what he said was he had no problem with my appearance but he cannot go against his parents wishes) I loved him so very much and I couldn't get over him for 3 years now. for about a year I did stress eating and became huge.. then he hooked up with another girl,and his parents didn't like her too.. but he married her against his parents wishes. so I guess in my case he actually secretly wanted to dump me bcoz I was not good enough in his eyes. how ever last year I thought what the hell and really wanted to change myself for my own sake. I was fed up being FATTY. His parents attitudes were ringing over and over and over in my ears. I was so sad to think that he might have not loved me really. so I exchange sorrow, anger and frustration in to sweat and strength.. in a year I lost 17kgs.. last time when he saw me he was shocked to see me in average size., even all of his friends said that I was looking hot and way better than his wife.. and said he was an idiot to loose me.. But I don't care anymore.. now I'm so doing this for myself and myself only.and for that thing not to happen I would still be a FATTY..

So you go girl.... make it backfire on him...

Aw I'm so sorry he was such a prick. You don't deserve that, you're beautiful and deserve a guy who will remind you everyday how beautiful you are!! Your weight loss is great, keep working hard and never give up! I agree, if I were still with him I would be 192.2 pounds at my heaviest weight. Thank you for your support

tayleigh4

I actually think that my ex was dating me BECAUSE I'm fat. (He's not exactly little, either.) He was "supportive" of me losing weight, but also trying to subtly sabotage me.... He wanted to keep me fat so I'd feel like other guys wouldn't want me.

It's a little silly that it took him 7 months to figure out that he doesn't like bigger girls, so maybe that wasn't even his real reason? Who knows. All that's important is this: you don't need to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. There are plenty of people out there who will love you the way you are now but also be supportive of your goals to get healthier. You'll find one!

Same with my ex! Like he would support me when I needed support, but he would let me have Blizzards from DQ and 2 Coffee Coolattas a day from Dunkin' Donuts. I really don't know his real reason, maybe it's the weight, maybe not, but what I do know is that I can't wait to become a healthier me. I deserve so much better and I will find it, same goes for you ;* thank you!!

tayleigh4

No, I got fat after I was married. However after I lost my gut she opted to replace the wedding band I lost 33 years ago.

Wow..

tayleigh4

He's a heel and a douche but he was honest and OMG that SUCKS but at least he didn't lie to you about why.

Don't get me wrong....he still sucks. But it's making you motivate yourself. You will find someone better. Just don't stop getting healthy if you meet someone tomorrow haha.



Just don't ever go out with him again, ok??? He doesn't deserve a girlfriend.

added>>> and yes, you are completely adorable!!!

It does suck, but you're right. I am so motivated right now. I will find better and I won't ever date him again, he doesn't deserve me.
Thank you btw

tayleigh4

NO. When I was skinny an ex would always say he'd stop loving me if I "got fat". I had an injury several years later (we were already broken up but still playing the ex's tryna get back together on again off again game.) So after that injury I got fat. Very. He actually said he loved me more. I still lost the weight anyways b/c it was aggravating my injury.

Now my husband says he won't like it if I get too thin. I think since he's never seen me as very thin, he doesn't know what he's talking about either and might like me more. IDK. All I know is being fat is uncomfortable (at least for me) and I need to be skinny to be happy. Or at least what others consider skinny, but what I consider, just fine. I'm short, it's hell carrying this extra weight.

It is uncomfortable, I'm proud of you for losing the weight