BOYFRIEND HELP!!!!! THINKS ABOUT HIS EX

jasonmh630

I was with a man (ha) who was exactly the same as your bf. He told me the same thing about his ex gf, she's apparantly treated him like bull crap - but I didnt pack my things because I loved him and he said he cared for me as well.

He ended up getting me pregnant and then walked away from me (read: dumped me) when I needed him most - I ended up having a termination.

I say get the **** out of this.
I was single for 2 years after all that happened and then I met my current partner who has given me all the support and love I need.

First off, I'm sorry that you went through that ordeal... Especially the latter part. I can't imagine how difficult it is to make a decision like that.

Second, none of us KNOW this guy she's dating. So there's really no grounds to advise her to leave him, simply because we DON'T know him OR his true intentions. I know you're basing your advice on your own personal experience. But, not every guy will do what your ex did to you, no matter how deplorable it was. Every person and relationship is different.

Phildog47

I agree with this 1000%. You do what feels right for YOU, not for what everyone on here tells you is right. My boyfriend and I met, talked for a week, went on two dates, I became his "offical" girlfriend and 2 weeks later he moved in with me. So I knew him about a month before we lived together and we have been together ever since. You guys do what feels right for your relationship now. I'm glad you apologized to him. Jealousy and insecurities will destroy your relationship so work on that, especially if you have a good guy now. I've been through the dating the douche bag parade and it's an amazing feeling when you finally find someone that treats you with respect and loves you and isn't a dumbass.

You win... Best answer!

Phildog47

I agree with this 1000%. You do what feels right for YOU, not for what everyone on here tells you is right. My boyfriend and I met, talked for a week, went on two dates, I became his "offical" girlfriend and 2 weeks later he moved in with me. So I knew him about a month before we lived together and we have been together ever since. You guys do what feels right for your relationship now. I'm glad you apologized to him. Jealousy and insecurities will destroy your relationship so work on that, especially if you have a good guy now. I've been through the dating the douche bag parade and it's an amazing feeling when you finally find someone that treats you with respect and loves you and isn't a dumbass.

You win... Best answer!

srh1543

If it something that you cannot live with then you need to decide if you want to stay or go. However, if he is not trying to contract her or stay friends with her then it really isnt a big deal. Men do not think like women and they are not as emotional as us. If he spent seven years with her, of course he is going to think about her sometimes, but if he says he loves you and has no contact with his ex I really dont think you have a problem.
If he starts trying to contact her, and he starts talking about her beyond just a comment here and there. Then maybe you guys should discuss it. But try not to let your emotions get in the way (I know its so hard, I am extremely emotional) and let logic step in. And just remember, men dont see things the way we do. We "overthink" and look for things that really are not there.

I think about my exes from time to time as well. They were a part of my past and a part of who I have become today.

But do what is best for you and your future, but I doubt you will ever find a man, or woman for that fact, that NEVER thinks about thier exes, or past..... everyone has one

KandGRanch

I realllllly need some advice.


I have had a boyfriend for 2 months . We are together every day and and I love him alot.
Today he tells me sometimes he still thinks about his ex. they were together 7 years and his only real relationship before me.
I got mad and started packing my things. he kept telling me he wants me , he loves me..... He says that he dosent know why he thinks about her, that he dosent love her. He knows they will never be anything ... I asked him to please be honest about us. He said he is in love with me and loves being around me.

But now I am left to think how do I stay with a man that still thinks about his ex....? i love him so much. he is the first guy i think i could marry and live each day with happily.
But i dont want to get heartbroken.


HELP PLEASE?

I still think of my ex, in much the same way one thinks of old friends they haven't spoken to in years. one of those, "I wonder how he's doing these days?" It's a passing thought, and im through in about 20 seconds.

Now, ive been with my husband for nearly nine years now and I have met two of his exes and, "the girl i wanted to date SO BAD but she wouldn't go out with me." Their loss.

Don't start packing your stuff over things like that-he will never feel like he can talk to you about anything if he says something so silly and you start throwing clothes in a suitcase. As long as he isn't in CONSTANT contact with her, you're fine.