Starvation Mode is Real, and ugly

Marla64

thanks for asking-- it's been a rough week, and I don't feel very well. I'd run out of my Synthroid, and had a combination of forgetting to call and refill the prescription, and deciding to try and see if I can live without it.

I hate having to take medicine. And since I haven't lost anything since being on it, I thought, you know, what the hell?

Today, after a week without, I'm up to 202. Woo-hoo. :grumble: One week without, my weight went up, and my energy level plummeted.

It was a tremendously stressful week with family issues, to begin with, and I'd only had one day of exercise-- one 2 mile run. Eating was fine-- some days, I couldn't even get to the 2200 calorie benchmark that I'd set. And if I'm not hungry in the evenings, I don't want to eat.

Add to that a gluten issue-- perhaps because I didn't have my medication, I reacted to gluten products terribly again. Remember my first picture in the black shirt earlier in the thread-- I'm rather remembering that picture was taken around a time where I went a day without my Synthroid. Duh-- okay, Marla, you gettin' this now? You cannot go without it.

So, really bad week. Coming into the end of yesterday, I simply looked awful and felt worse. I've read online about a connection with Hashimoto's and Celiac's, and know I have to make a commitment to cutting out the glutens. It's difficult with a large family, eating on a budget, birthday cakes, blah, blah, blah-- but, my heavens, all I should have to do is remember how I look and feel right now.

I told my black team friends about my realization yesterday-- walking into a grocery store, seeing a portly, older woman walking out, round in the middle, in her probably size-20 raincoat and sadly realizing that's probably going to be me. I totally kicked *kitten*, took off 47 pounds, trained for a half marathon, and that's probably going to be me. My body is letting me down.

My battle is to keep control of my spirit, so my emotions don't fail me. This is a ****ty battle that I'm tired of waging. It's not fair...but what is? One of the first things I wrote as my inspiration when I joined this site was that in an otherwise out of control existence, where I had no control of anything, I could at least control what went in my face and how much exercise I get. I can control what size I am.

well-- that's no longer true. Yes, I still can and must control what goes in my mouth-- make sure it's not too much, not too little-- and I can and must control my exercise-- get my cardio, do my weight training. But, I can not control what size I am. That pisses me off beyond belief. I had no control over going from a size 8 a year ago to not being able to fit into freaking anything. Gutwrenching. Heartwrenching. Infuriating. Heartbreaking. I'm tired of crying about it, and yet I do, often.

I'm not discouraged about the extra calories. I am convinced that increasing the calories was right. My body has filled out properly, and looks much better (gluten bloating not withstanding) My face is looking normal again, but truly more weary and wrinkled-- I took quite a toll on my body with my 1200 calorie stupidity for so long.

This week, I'm knocking them down to 2100 and heading slowly down to maybe 1800 at the lowest, a bit at a time, week by week. I know I have to kick the exercise back into gear this week. One week with no synthroid, and no exercise sent my weight flooey. So, need to make sure I make the exercise a priority this week now that we've returned to our normal chaos around here.

Sorry for the rambling again-- I guess I'm considering this more a blog than anything else. Thanks again for your concern and support.

Marla64

Took my synthroid at 8:00 this morning-- seems it allows my body to resume some normal function. Long story short, after a couple of trips to the potty, I'm now 200.5.

And the fog is lifting. 30 minutes ago, all I wanted to do was lay down when I got done with my morning transcribing. Now, I'm feeling more alert and energetic for the first time in a week.

Have we learned our synthroid lesson, Marla? :noway:

tashjs21

Thank you for posting and sharing your journey Marla. :flowerforyou:

There are people that will listen.

3babybeans

love you, lady.

Marla64

Things I began to notice, but couldn't put my finger on--

Here is my face in summer of '09. Big smile, cheeks normal-- granted, not the best quality-- but, this was being proud of being able to wear the shirt that I wore on my first date with hubs in 1987.



Already by November of '09, my face just started ballooning disproportionately-- my muscle tone was not good, and instead my cheek area was very puffy.



I weighed 170ish in this, but my face had already begun to be of concern. I was on medication for arthritis, so I went off that thinking it may have been the problem. It wasn't. It never got better. The bloating had begun, and I couldn't stop it.

But, today, I think while the face is overall fatter (much to my dismay) I think it's proportioned better. As I was starving myself, the top of my face seemed to bloat first. Once again, smarter people than me shall have to explain it.



At the end of the day, I may be nuts. To you all, there may be no change and I'm just a nutty old broad driving herself crazy, hanging onto any thread of hope of improvement. Whatever, ya know?

Still hanging in-- heading out to run. Cold out, but I have a 5k in 4 weeks, and I've only managed a 2.5 mile run recently as my farthest. Gotta complete the 3.1.

3babybeans

There's no doubt that you're a crazy old broad. Hang in there, Marla. You are one of the toughest chicks I know. I just pray that your body finds the balance it needs! *BIGHUGS*

Marla64

There's no doubt that you're a crazy old broad.

It was supposed to be our little secret.

BunnybeeJG

great story ... and i hope i don't come off as rude, because that's not my intention but... 1400 calories is actually a lot. most of my life I've been eating about 2000 or so and have steadily gotten myself into a zone where I am overweight. Doctor encouraged what I'm doing now ... and for the first time in my life I feel like i have more energy to get to the gym and don't feel i'm starving myself. I have trouble getting past 1000 or so without feeling like i'm going to burst or be sick... it fatigues me. I think that everyones body is different. mine hangs on to food so much when i up my intake I gain and i'm done doing that. I need to get this stupid weight off once and for all or my life will always be hell.:indifferent:
but i'm glad that youre okay and i do wish you luck.

Suzeesmu

Thank you for posting your story, Marla. I've found that although I've been keeping to around 1200 cal, my net calories are running 500 - 800 a day. My loss is sloooowww. I've been wondering if I need to boost the calories a bit, and I think you gave me my answer.

Best of luck to you in getting things turned around!!

Marla64

Well, consider this, though--

My weight at the time was 164-- I had a basal metabolic rate of 1472. 1400 calories didn't even cover my basic needs, if I did nothing else but sit in bed all day.

Take into account my activity level-- running 4-6 days a week-- and my daily caloric needs were between 2300-2500. Not taking into account weight training, et cetera-- and my caloric burn raising 9 kids, keeping a house.

But, even sedentary, I would have needed 1700 and change to meet my needs. So, I'm not meaning to sound rude, either, but 1400 is not a lot of calories-- that's just nuts. I just wish I'd have listened sooner to my friend who told me as much.

Miasunshine

Hi Marla!
Thank you so much for your story! It really is touching and hitting close to home. I've been doing the same for quite some time (consuming 800 calories a day) and I understand your fustration. I'm back on track (1200 calories) and I hope i get to my goal weight!

I hope that you achieve your goal as well!

Mia

tashjs21

Well, consider this, though--

My weight at the time was 164-- I had a basal metabolic rate of 1472. 1400 calories didn't even cover my basic needs, if I did nothing else but sit in bed all day.

Take into account my activity level-- running 4-6 days a week-- and my daily caloric needs were between 2300-2500. Not taking into account weight training, et cetera-- and my caloric burn raising 9 kids, keeping a house.

But, even sedentary, I would have needed 1700 and change to meet my needs. So, I'm not meaning to sound rude, either, but 1400 is not a lot of calories-- that's just nuts. I just wish I'd have listened sooner to my friend who told me as much.

I was wondering what kind of foods she must be eating for that to be a lot? :huh:


I know it is tough when you have worked so hard but don't beat yourself up too much. You are working to reverse this and be even healthier! That is admirable!

I packed the weight back on because I probably was in starvation mode myself and then became pregnant so I gave myself the "permission" to eat and BAM I packed on all of the weight I lost PLUS some. So here I am back to square one but I have the tools this time and I also don't have unrealistic goals. I just want to hit the "pre pregnancy" size instead of "just 10 more pounds and I will be at my goal"

Thank you again for posting this. Hopefully, if someone finds themselves in this situation then they will remember reading your story and remember to EAT!

PlanetVelma

bump - this is really informational reading and every new member should be required to read this post...

DeeDeeLHF

Thanks Marla for the update! Sorry it has been a tough week and hopefully, even though it is a low dose, the Synthroid will continue to work its magic!

Your face looks healthier to me!!!:drinker:

I only know that you are crazy because most homeschoolers need to be at least a little crazy! Add to that the fact that you were open to life and BAM! You've got yourself a certified nut-case! :laugh:

Tonight I am going out to eat with my husband. He will be back on the road and this is our last night to spend time together. I plan on eating!!

D

Marla64

Donna-- enjoy!

And yes, I think it looks healthier, too. In the November picture, and others that I haven't posted, my eyes are looking sunken. I was also resisting the water intake because I held so much water. And taking the diuretic to get it out of me-- crap. When I think back on how stupid I was, it really floors me.

How can I live to be 46 and still be so damn dumb???? Especially with the world of knowledge at my fingertips via the Internet, and good friends with good advice?

So caught up in getting to my goal weight, getting that last stubborn 4 pounds off, it's all I could see, all I could think about. If I wasn't losing on 1400, let's cut it to 1200 for a while longer. If I'm not losing on 1200, let's cut it to veggie juice only-- all the while exercising like a freak.

Sighhhhhh-- stoooooooooooo-pidddddd.

3babybeans

Don't call my friend stupid! You are SO not stupid, Marla. Your body freaked out on you. What can ya do?! You were doing what you thought was right. You did NOT give up...you tried HARDER! Now that you have the information & the dignosis you can move forward healthier & smarter. But one thing you are NOT (nor ever were) is stupid!

Marla64

Shucks, Sara-- thanks. :blushing:

3babybeans

I meant every word of it! Mwah!

Russellb97

People that don't believe "Starvation Mode" is real have never lived it!

It is definitely real on several levels.

Yes real starvation mode happens when we are literally starving our our body does eat our organs and muscles for energy.

But a form of starvation mode also happens when we diet.

Our metabolism lowers for 2 undoubtedly true reasons.

1. When we eat less we metabolize less food, therefor our metabolism gets lower.
2. If you lose lean body mass weight too, your metabolism is lower

Those two facts can't be argued.

The one that is controversial is that our body lowers metabolism to prolong the use of our bodyfat energy for survival.

It's happened to me dozens of times, I don't change what I eat and I didn't stop working out, yet I stopped losing weight.
The last time this happened I gave into my cravings and over-ate for one full day, and guess what? I lost 3lbs. This was the start of my "spike day" Now every single week I over-eat on purpose to keep my metabolism up.

There is plenty of science that proves this, from leptin, to the Minnesota Starvation Study, where participants had their metabolism drop by 30-40%.

A 30-40% drop in metabolism is fatal for a diet, since metabolism is what will actually burn-fat.
No one can tell me it doesn't happen because it's happened to me, and I've seen it hundreds of times as a personal trainer. Yes calories in versus calories out is the ultimate formula for weight-loss, but the calories out part can be adversely affected by diet and exercise.

Hang in there, I recommend taking one day off a week and eating a surplus of calories, it worked wonders for me.

shannonshock13

bump!!

atomdraco

Thanks so much for sharing. I hope you'll be recover.

Marla64

Russell, thanks very much for your post. I think my metabolic rate must be in the negatives-- nothing is budging.

But, it's not going back on, either, with the extra calories-- so I know I'm onto something. 1.5 pounds up in 4 weeks of extra calories, with hormonal times around the corner, and extra sodium in my quiche (by accident) is actually very, very encouraging.

HealthierMamasita

Thank you for posting this Marla. I will definitely pass this important info to those that beat themselves up for going 15 cals over or trying to stay as close to their daily cals as possible. I have to say, I was one of those idiots but nomore!

~Jo:flowerforyou:

Russellb97

Russell, thanks very much for your post. I think my metabolic rate must be in the negatives-- nothing is budging.

But, it's not going back on, either, with the extra calories-- so I know I'm onto something. 1.5 pounds up in 4 weeks of extra calories, with hormonal times around the corner, and extra sodium in my quiche (by accident) is actually very, very encouraging.

There are studies being done now on over-feeding and thyroid production. Over-eating does work because your bod has to metabolize every calorie you eat. Also it helps bring up your leptin levels.

You can do it!

Kityngirl

You're a strong person Marla. I went through the same type of thing (undiagnosed, of course) my first year on MFP and almost gave up. Was at the gym 4-5 times a week, sticking within 50 cals of my goal daily and meticulous about eating the right kinds of things and ended up stuck and gaining. Finally upped my cals quite a bit from what I was taking in and have finally started to inch my way down again. :flowerforyou:

ace175

Wow, what an amazing story...thank you so much for sharing with all of us!
This has me thinking a lot now....did MFP say to be at 1400 calories a day? Because they told me to have 1430/day and I've been sticking with that (and usually not eating back all of my exercise cals for the most part)...now I'm worried about something similar happening...

Marla64

I think MFP is a great tool. I love the site. I don't think their formula is the wisest.

http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

I got my current information here. I'm now making a slight deficit-- my body right now supposedly needs 2500 for my activity level, et cetera-- and I'm eating 2100-2200. Much better than the 1200 calorie deficit I was putting my body through.

No freaking wonder my body rebelled.

ladyhawk00

I think MFP is a great tool. I love the site. I don't think their formula is the wisest.

http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

I got my current information here. I'm now making a slight deficit-- my body right now supposedly needs 2500 for my activity level, et cetera-- and I'm eating 2100-2200. Much better than the 1200 calorie deficit I was putting my body through.

No freaking wonder my body rebelled.

Curious what MFP's maintenance was for you - with an active or very active setting? 9 kids alone has to put you there. :laugh:

qtwells82

Thank you for sharing with us...wishing you the best :flowerforyou:

laurenk182004

I'm sorry to hear you have worked so hard, only to discover you were starving yourself :frown: I really think you will turn it around though! You seem like the type who has the willpower, that's for sure. Good luck! I hope your body gives ya break and your metabolism returns to normal very soon. BTW, very well written post