What's the worst thing someone has said to about being overw

Options
13567…10

Replies

  • nuemmedigg
    nuemmedigg Posts: 220 Member
    Options
    While reading all your posts, my heart goes out to you. Especially to those of you who had someone close to you say something. I've been labeled pregnant by mistake many times, and it didn't offend me, because it came from people who wanted to help with carrying groceries, or who wanted to congratulate. So that was not out of being mean-spirited and I took no offense, I know how I look.
    I was called repulsive by someone very close, and that was after having lost some weight already. I decided not to go into "eat your pain away" mode and continue on MFP, but I tear up each time I think about it.
  • lil_missfit
    lil_missfit Posts: 565 Member
    Options
    BUMP
  • allroundthesun
    allroundthesun Posts: 290
    Options
    When I was 16 - and I wasn't even really overweight at the time, I was about 10 lbs. above my normal weight - my father said, out of the blue while we were chatting casually about something else, "You know, I think you're going to end up just like Christine." Christine is my cousin, and is obese. That one really crushed me. :frown:

    The other one that really sticks out is a shopping trip with my mom, I think I was 17. I was trying on clothes, and again, I was only about 10 lbs. above my normal weight, not extremely overweight (not that hurtful comments would be okay even if I was) and while trying on pants, it became obvious that 8s fit me best. Upon noticing this, my mother examined the tags with the sizes, clicked disapprovingly, and said, "You really need to go out for a bike ride when we get home. Do you want to be fat? Because I'm telling you right now, you keep letting yourself gain weight, you're not going to have the opportunities you want in life. You say you want a career; do you think anyone's going to hire you if you're fat? They're not. They'll hire the skinny applicant, not you. Do you want to end up alone? Men aren't interested in fat women; you're not going to get married to the kind of man you want (FTR, I'd never expressed a preference regarding what kind of man I wanted because I didn't want men anyway, except maybe a rare few; I was queer and closeted) if you're fat. NO ONE likes fat people. I'm telling you this from experience, so you need to give your head a shake and start exercising and get skinny." I'm not a crier, especially in front of people, but I cried my eyes out right in that store. :sad:

    Yeah, goooood times. :brokenheart:

    ETA: Oh, and another lovely one from my mother. After I asked an employee at a bus station if I could use a bit of food to coax an injured pigeon to me so that I could take it to a wildlife centre (generally feeding the pigeons is not allowed, understandably) and he said no, "Psssht. If you were skinny, he would have said yes."
  • MarkNH
    MarkNH Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    You're as fat as your father was - It's such a shame . . . You know it's what killed him and it will probably kill you too.

    *and yes, this was perhaps the most hurtful of the many "wonderful" comments that came from my family members.


    My father, who was the center of my universe had his heart-attack at 42. Life was never the same . . .
  • CityGirlLost
    CityGirlLost Posts: 4 Member
    Options
    When my ex-husband and I were dating, he once told me that I would be absolutely stunning if I just lost 40 pounds. That comment has stuck with me for 12 years. I guess that's why he's now my EX-husband!
  • KateCon912
    KateCon912 Posts: 200 Member
    Options
    I never really had anyone in school make fun of me (that I can remember)... but my family would always notice if i gained half a pound and would point to my stomach in front of everyone and say how I needed to work on that. Or they would grab my side fat and pinch it without saying anything. :( that was really depressing when it was coming from my own family.
  • lil_missfit
    lil_missfit Posts: 565 Member
    Options
    When I was 16 - and I wasn't even really overweight at the time, I was about 10 lbs. above my normal weight - my father said, out of the blue while we were chatting casually about something else, "You know, I think you're going to end up just like Christine." Christine is my cousin, and is obese. That one really crushed me. :frown:

    The other one that really sticks out is a shopping trip with my mom, I think I was 17. I was trying on clothes, and again, I was only about 10 lbs. above my normal weight, not extremely overweight (not that hurtful comments would be okay even if I was) and while trying on pants, it became obvious that 8s fit me best. Upon noticing this, my mother examined the tags with the sizes, clicked disapprovingly, and said, "You really need to go out for a bike ride when we get home. Do you want to be fat? Because I'm telling you right now, you keep letting yourself gain weight, you're not going to have the opportunities you want in life. You say you want a career; do you think anyone's going to hire you if you're fat? They're not. They'll hire the skinny applicant, not you. Do you want to end up alone? Men aren't interested in fat women; you're not going to get married to the kind of man you want (FTR, I'd never expressed a preference regarding what kind of man I wanted because I didn't want men anyway, except maybe a rare few; I was queer and closeted) if you're fat. NO ONE likes fat people. I'm telling you this from experience, so you need to give your head a shake and start exercising and get skinny." I'm not a crier, especially in front of people, but I cried my eyes out right in that store. :sad:

    Yeah, goooood times. :brokenheart:

    ETA: Oh, and another lovely one from my mother. After I asked an employee at a bus station if I could use a bit of food to coax an injured pigeon to me so that I could take it to a wildlife centre (generally feeding the pigeons is not allowed, understandably) and he said no, "Psssht. If you were skinny, he would have said yes."

    THIS is heart wrenching :brokenheart: ...sheesh!!! what a lecture in a store...gosh!!!
  • lil_missfit
    lil_missfit Posts: 565 Member
    Options
    I never really had anyone in school make fun of me (that I can remember)... but my family would always notice if i gained half a pound and would point to my stomach in front of everyone and say how I needed to work on that. Or they would grab my side fat and pinch it without saying anything. :( that was really depressing when it was coming from my own family.

    ALL my family would do that to me too...so annoying....
  • lil_missfit
    lil_missfit Posts: 565 Member
    Options
    You're as fat as your father was - It's such a shame . . . You know it's what killed him and it will probably kill you too.

    *and yes, this was perhaps the most hurtful of the many "wonderful" comments that came from my family members.


    My father, who was the center of my universe had his heart-attack at 42. Life was never the same . . .

    I am really sorry about your dad. I also can't believe someone would have the nerve to go there with you after is death....
    * shaking my head*
  • ashleymcquown
    ashleymcquown Posts: 80
    Options
    the most hurtful comment came from my best friend in high school. it was when i was 60 pounds thinner than i am now and pretty deep into my restricting behaviors (that was way before the binging started). she got into the habit of calling my "Skelator" and said that everyone at school (including her boyfriend who i cared for as a friend) thought i was gross because i was too thin. i remember one day on vacation when she refused to rub sunscreen on my back because my spine grossed her out. granted i was way too thin at the time, it was extremely hurtful.

    one thing i've noticed since gaining weight is that people seem less courteous. i swear people used to hold open doors and say hello out of the blue but that doesn't seem to happen anymore. whenever i lose weight, people get polite all of a sudden. it's weird...whenever i gain weight i seem to become invisible : /
  • lil_missfit
    lil_missfit Posts: 565 Member
    Options
    the most hurtful comment came from my best friend in high school. it was when i was 60 pounds thinner than i am now and pretty deep into my restricting behaviors (that was way before the binging started). she got into the habit of calling my "Skelator" and said that everyone at school (including her boyfriend who i cared for as a friend) thought i was gross because i was too thin. i remember one day on vacation when she refused to rub sunscreen on my back because my spine grossed her out. granted i was way too thin at the time, it was extremely hurtful.

    one thing i've noticed since gaining weight is that people seem less courteous. i swear people used to hold open doors and say hello out of the blue but that doesn't seem to happen anymore. whenever i lose weight, people get polite all of a sudden. it's weird...whenever i gain weight i seem to become invisible : /

    I have had that happen to me too (being more nice when I am thinner)...very strange but a noticable difference.
  • ashleymcquown
    ashleymcquown Posts: 80
    Options
    i don't know you but you seem like a wonderful and kind person.
  • ashleymcquown
    ashleymcquown Posts: 80
    Options
    whoops meant to reply to a specific comment. lots of painful stories on here....it's good to get it out though
  • lil_missfit
    lil_missfit Posts: 565 Member
    Options
    i don't know you but you seem like a wonderful and kind person.

    Thank you :smile:
  • Gemini80
    Gemini80 Posts: 15 Member
    Options
    When I was heavier, I was asked once when I was due.
    A male friend of mine use to tell me that I would be stripper hot, if i lost some weight...and everytime he saw me he would grab a little fat from my arm and say " You haven't been working out"

    Now, back when I was a kid, say middle school days, I was picked on because I was too skinny.
  • ashleymcquown
    ashleymcquown Posts: 80
    Options
    of course : ) it always makes me sad to see nice people go through this. anyone that goes that far out of their way to hurt others is obviously dealing with their own issues
  • ashleymcquown
    ashleymcquown Posts: 80
    Options
    When I was heavier, I was asked once when I was due.
    A male friend of mine use to tell me that I would be stripper hot, if i lost some weight...and everytime he saw me he would grab a little fat from my arm and say " You haven't been working out"

    Now, back when I was a kid, say middle school days, I was picked on because I was too skinny.

    that's awful! what a jerk
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
    Options
    I've been the fat kid pretty much all my life. I remember being called a fatty even back in elementary school. I was babysitting once a few years ago... I was about 220, 5'7" then so still fat but not like shockingly fat or anything... The 7 year old boy... (who was every bit of 90 pounds) kept punching my fat, and calling me fat - this was from a family that is very big on manners yet also kind of judgemental... I told someone about it a while later they said that little kids don't think it hurts you to punch fat... like a pillow or something... So I not only remember this, but had a couple bruises to show for it... never told the parents, but also never came back.

    A few months ago... and I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, but just wasn't thinking, she told me how a boyfriend broke up with her "because she was too skinny" then proceeds to say "but you should see the girl he is with now, he makes YOU look tiny..." I'm in the 260's now, still 5'7" but I've been told I carry my weight really well... I wanted to say... yeah... compared to this person YOU would be considered attractive... I just held my tongue. the list goes on and on. Don't think people realize just how much what their off handed comments can stick with people.
  • allroundthesun
    allroundthesun Posts: 290
    Options
    Oh, and I should add, you really can't win. When I hit my normal, healthy weight (114 lbs.) a few years ago, I had my mother, my friends, and my ex making comments about how I looked too thin, that I'd better not lose any more weight or I'd start looking "gross", saying my face looked too skeletal, and questioning whether I had an eating disorder. I'd like everyone to just shut up about my body unless they have something constructive to say ("Hey, you're looking really fit, good for you!" or whatnot). Ugh. :angry:
  • ashleymcquown
    ashleymcquown Posts: 80
    Options
    When I was heavier, I was asked once when I was due.
    A male friend of mine use to tell me that I would be stripper hot, if i lost some weight...and everytime he saw me he would grab a little fat from my arm and say " You haven't been working out"

    Now, back when I was a kid, say middle school days, I was picked on because I was too skinny.

    that's awful! what a jerk

    this kind of chauvinism makes the good men out there look bad!

Categories