Stuff Fat People Do

Options
1…68101112

Replies

  • hankhanna
    hankhanna Posts: 72 Member
    Options
    Sort of surprised no one has mentioned this one:
    McDs: May I take your order?
    FatPerson: I'll have two double cheese burgers, a large fries, two apple pies, a 20 count chicken nuggets, and...Oh yeah. A DIET coke...
    McDs: Uh Yeah, diet coke. Right.


    Now I have never actually done that, because I would order all of that AND a Dr Pepper or Mt Dew! (I have totally done the ordering two drinks though to make it look like I was ordering for two)

    Keep it coming guys! This might just end up being the most popular post on this site!
  • brocksmom
    brocksmom Posts: 103 Member
    Options
    I guess I am not as clever as I thought:wink: I have done about 96% of the things mentioned. I am so glad that we have made a
    commitment to a healthy lifestyle and to ourselves {{hugs}} to all of you:smile:

    take care, Karen
  • canadian_cristal
    canadian_cristal Posts: 14 Member
    Options
    I've made up a date when people have asked me when I'm "due". I figure that's more polite than saying, "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat you stupid, insensitive *kitten*." :explode:

    I totally know what you mean. I've once had a lady at the bus station pat my belly and ask if the baby is kicking. totally one of the saddest day of my life
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Options
    One of the last times I flew I had to ask for a seat belt extender. Luckily the flight attendant was very discreet, but it was still humiliating. My resolution for NOT having to go through that again? I stole the damn thing. Yep, after the flight, I stuck it in my carry on so that on the flight home I would already have one and not have to ask again, risking everyone hearing me ask and looking at me funny. After my last flight, touching down at home, I left it in the seat though I seriously wanted to take it home with me for next time.
  • hankhanna
    hankhanna Posts: 72 Member
    Options
    One of the last times I flew I had to ask for a seat belt extender. Luckily the flight attendant was very discreet, but it was still humiliating. My resolution for NOT having to go through that again? I stole the damn thing. Yep, after the flight, I stuck it in my carry on so that on the flight home I would already have one and not have to ask again, risking everyone hearing me ask and looking at me funny. After my last flight, touching down at home, I left it in the seat though I seriously wanted to take it home with me for next time.

    I was actually getting ready to make a blog post about that. Stay tuned!
  • t1981
    t1981 Posts: 54 Member
    Options
    love this post! I used to do the 'secret fast food run' too, but I would suck on a cough drop before I got home so no one would smell it on my breath. I also made sure not to go through the same drive through each time so it wouldn't look like I ate fast food a few times a week! So sad- and glad that's not me anymore!

    I also did the rubber band through the button hole thing too!
  • ash12783
    ash12783 Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    Wearing pantihose and having the waist instantly roll down over your stomach and butt to the top of your thighs. Just TRY to adjust your way out of that one in public.

    I actually go the other way and get them too big and pull them way up so the tuck under my bra (or safety pin them to it).. thus avoiding that spot where they dig in and double my love handles..

    i get them too big also and pull them way up! kinda holds everything in instead creating new bulges like you said....
  • Shawnarose
    Shawnarose Posts: 74 Member
    Options
    Bump
  • ash12783
    ash12783 Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    One of the last times I flew I had to ask for a seat belt extender. Luckily the flight attendant was very discreet, but it was still humiliating. My resolution for NOT having to go through that again? I stole the damn thing. Yep, after the flight, I stuck it in my carry on so that on the flight home I would already have one and not have to ask again, risking everyone hearing me ask and looking at me funny. After my last flight, touching down at home, I left it in the seat though I seriously wanted to take it home with me for next time.

    um yeah....totally been there....except with me, i was not about to ask for an extender so i draped the seat belt across from each side (didn't meet in the middle) and laid a jacket in my lap to hide that i was NOT REALLY buckled in lol....flew that whole trip with no seatbelt...can't believe i risked my life to spare myself the embarrassment of asking for that extender!
  • ash12783
    ash12783 Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    This post has given me so many laughs! I can't believe so many of the things i've done thinking i was the only one..now hearing so many other people have done it too.....

    -I've totally ordered a small coke to "trick" the drive thru staff into thinking the meal was for 2 -only did it once though but still...i couldn't believe i actually ordered enough food to feel the NEED to order a coke for an imaginary person lol

    I always stretch my shirts because i can't stand for my clothes to feel clingy

    I wore my jeans 2-3 times between washing bc i hated that the dryer made them tight after you just got them all comfy!

    Make my boyfriend switch sides with me in one of the dreaded "one skinny sided booth with a non-moving table)

    avoid any amusement park rides or go carts for fear of being to big to get buckled in (this happened to my SIL once and i was mortified FOR her!)

    Look for a weight limit sign on things just to make sure

    Powder inner thighs with gold bond powder...it gives a tingling fresh feel...kinda minty that baby powder doesn't have

    wear leggings all the time....so i'm always trying to buy cute short dresses that go with leggings...so i look fashionable but don't have to worry about "chub rub" as someone mentioned lol

    Not dare put on something I haven't worn in months bc i didn't wanna be slapped in the face by reality that it's much tighter than i remember it being

    Do that whole "look behind you" move while walking so that you are able to spread your legs a little farther without being noticeable so that your shorts that are bunched up between your thighs can get free.... or the move i see a lot of other big ppl do where they are walking and kinda do this weird quick little squat thing mid stride to let the bunch of shorts out from the inner thighs...my sis and i call it the "squat 'n drop" lol

    I have actually bought some clothes too small for me and that way if a friend was over and needed something to wear, i'd have something to fit them and then they'd think i could fit it too! lol

    -been jealous of someone that you lent a pair of pants or a top that it totally fit them but you always thought that person was so much bigger than you! that's an eye opener lol

    taken about 25 pictures in one sitting just to find that ONE magic pic that makes you look thinner than you really are!
  • delilah122
    delilah122 Posts: 41
    Options
    Here's one I had forgotten, having been vegetarian for several years now, but I need to own it so I tell it. I used to keep a bottle of Fabreeze in my car so I could get rid of the food smell. I'm happy to say I've owned my current car for four years and I've never been to a drive-through in it.
  • 1JenMilam
    1JenMilam Posts: 108 Member
    Options
    Deep knee squats to get into jeans; Don't forget the friendly water bottle to "help" loosen them up
  • MMieure
    MMieure Posts: 48
    Options
    This is a list I wrote for my profile. I figure a lot of it goes with what y'all are talking about!

    Why I want to lose weight

    Feel sexy for my hubby

    Take shower with hubby

    Paint my toes and breathe at the same time

    Walk up the stairs and not feel like I am going to pass out

    Feel more graceful

    Feel more feminine

    Go to an office party with my hubby and not feel like the fattest person in the room

    Go to the movies and not feel like I am squeezed into the seat

    Fly without feeling like I am taking up more then my share of space

    Wear a skirt without feeling that disgusting slimy/sticky feeling of my thighs rubbing

    Not wear out the crotch of my pants from my thighs rubbing

    Be the "Hot Mom"

    Not duck when a camera points in my direction

    Jump from rock to rock as we play at the river

    Sit in an inner tube at the river and not feel like they have to rub butter on it to get me out

    Be able to shop anywhere and not just Lame Giant

    Not have to lick my finger to get my rings on/off

    Wear a necklace without that stupid extender that always gets turned to the front

    Walk down stairs without my knees groaning

    Go out with my hubby because I want to not because I have to

    Wear cloths because they are cute not because they cover up my belly/butt

    Wear a swimsuit without a skirt attached

    Clothing will take up less space in a suitcase

    Shopping will be fun and not a chore

    Not look the other way when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror/Window

    Stop hiding behind pillows on the couch

    See my bikini area to shave it
  • Lo2101
    Lo2101 Posts: 8
    Options
    Bump
  • smitchell37
    smitchell37 Posts: 121 Member
    Options
    I was thinking the same thing about the jeans stretches. Now I'm wondering if we should log those as exercise, then eat the calories back? LOl
    HAHA Love it!!!!
  • graysmom2005
    graysmom2005 Posts: 1,882 Member
    Options
    I would do this with CANDY. I would buy it at Target while shopping, and murder it in the car...throw the evidence away. Yes!!
  • ratkins811
    ratkins811 Posts: 190 Member
    Options
    these are so funny... I am so happy I am not the only one doing some of this tricks. .lol
  • Calidaho
    Calidaho Posts: 110 Member
    Options
    My hubby and I will sometimes take a wet tee shirt or polo and each take a side and stretch the ****ens out of it before hanging it up to dry.

    Okay, off topic but it is hilarious that the auto censor blanked out the first four words of my old lady word. It is also the last name of Charles, the author of Oliver Twist and A Christmas Carol.
  • marie_2454
    marie_2454 Posts: 881 Member
    Options
    Haha awesome. Very similar to my jeans-stretching: Put on jeans, then do some squats and lunges to loosen them up. Though I haven't had to do that in a while!! :D Something must be working, hahah.

    hahahaha I totally do that too!
  • grimnir
    grimnir Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    I did a lot of this stuff.

    In middle school, I'd wear sweatpants so I wouldn't have to change for gym. I would be teased mercilessly regardless. Being laughed at when you take off your clothes is uncool.

    I've blown out the crotches of many, many pairs of pants, including a pair of nearly new jeans just recently. I squatted, and it couldn't take the pressure. Boom. I haven't had the same problem with rubbing the thighs to death, but I did growing up, I'd go through pants and jeans very frequently.

    I spend a fortune buying the few mediocre quality clothes I can afford at Casual Male XL. I go through belts 2-3 a year, just from cinching them tightly enough that I can walk around the block without having to pull my pants up. I over-dress everywhere I go and obsess about style, to make up for being fat. I tell myself that at least I now have the option-- before I was so fat I wore the biggest sizes in the store and could never look anything but ridiculously obese, and now I can layer in such a way that I can at least stand to look at myself. I look at myself in the mirror endlessly, so that I can figure out which facial expressions and angles work best for me, nearly obsessively. Still, even when I feel like I'm looking damn good, it's always 'for a fat guy'.

    When I worked at McDonald's in high school I sometimes used to get into eating competitions where I'd put down 7 big macs, with super size fries and a large soda besides, in 20 minutes, or we'd race to see who could do a 20 nugget fastest, or 10 cheeseburgers. I'd drink ~4 large sodas a shift, and eat a big meal there before, during, and after work. I'd go to mcd on lunch break from school and eat a ss value meal AND a big chicken salad, every day. I gained over 100 lbs in 2 years, and with those eating habits, another 100 in the following 4. Things like eating over 100 hot wings at an all-you-can-eat, or routinely eating 4-7 heaping plates of food at chinese buffets. I'd eat a big bag of doritos before dinner, and popcorn after. I'd order 2 $5 medium pizzas from Domino's, intending to make it at least two meals (already a huge meal), and then I'd eat them both entirely, so that I'd be sick from overeating for half a day. Or buy a month's worth of junk food at the grocery store, and eat 2/3 of it in the first 24 hours, entire pounds of nuts in the same hour as a family-size cheez-its. I'd go to hibachi and order hibachi with both rice and noodles AND a sushi deluxe AND gyoza AND fried ice cream. At the buffet line it's rare if I'm not one of the first five in line.

    There was once so many empty fast food bags in the trunk of my suv that the pile rose to the top of the back seat. Three garbage bags full of just fast food wrappers.

    Swimming with a shirt on, or taking care to spend no more than 10 seconds out of the water without a shirt. Being too self-conscious about the pubic fat to really enjoy a *kitten*.

    Not being able to do the outdoors activities I love most, or not enjoying them because of joint or foot pain or inadequate cardio capacity, like skiing, hiking, or bicycling. Not being able to dance or have sex for more than a single song without being drenched in sweat and exhausted. Not wanting to run because the fat roll slapping down was so loud it drowned out the sound of my feet hitting the ground, slap so hard I'd have bruises. Not being able to walk because the gout is so bad that I have to get to the bathroom on crutches.

    Being turned down for dates with girls I had good rapport with because she's just not attracted to fat guys. Not daring to ask because I'm worried she doesn't find me physically attractive, however smart or funny I might be. Getting dumped after the first time in the bedroom. First date after first date after first date. Having my low self-esteem ruin my relationships.

    Hating spending time with other fat people because I wouldn't be able to see anything in them but all the things I hated about myself.

    Resenting my parents for letting me spend two whole years in middle school coming home, getting in a fight with my brother, breaking down in wracking, sobbing fits, and then eating until bedtime, gaining 100 lbs in two years. How in the **** could they not do something about that? How could they not get me the help I needed? Why am I seeing a personal trainer for the FIRST TIME at 32, when I've been morbidly obese since I was 11? All the thousands of dollars of money and gifts they've given me over the years, why didn't they do something to really help me? Sending me to sports camp at 100+ lbs overweight? What the ****? I needed a therapist and a diet, not more being teased about being the fattest kid there and getting picked last for everything.

    The real weight I'm losing is not just physical, but the emotional torment and shame and failure and self-hatred and loneliness I now associate with my being fat, that has so impeded my pursuit of happiness the last 20 years.

    I feel like this was originally meant to be funny, but really it's pretty ****ing sad.

Categories