Retarded and Gay

peteyTwang

this was my first response too... but I think I'd rather go with

don't you mean.... "THAT"S SO TAKEI" ???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRkIWB3HIEs&feature=player_embedded

Tell her that you are both gay and retarded

syates83

Honestly, I don't think she means to be offensive. Probably a bad habit she's been repeating without even thinking, kind of like word vomit if you will. I would discretely take her aside and tell her that those words are very offensive to yourself and other members of your office and not only that they are extremely unprofessional. Throwing her over to HR might be a little extreme. Give her a chance, let her correct her habit and learn!

mkcalvert

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

Concur......Gay used to mean happy until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive if used in the wrong context. Retarded used to mean delay or impede until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive. I personally have taken the word gay back! I'm gay......I'm happy! Period. :flowerforyou:

Stop making sense

Best!!

SkinnyCate

Also if you didn't know, gay means homosexual so therefore by calling something BAD "gay" you're in turn saying it's bad to be gay. You seemed a little confused as to why those words used in such a way are indeed offensive to most humans with half a heart. Same goes with "retarded".

vampymegs

IMHO, it's not particularly offensive to me if someone uses those words, though I'm not retarded or gay. However I do have friends that are gay and friends that are diagnosed as mildly mentally retarded and they don't get offended when I use those words (gay is not something I use as colloquial language, retarded is though). I do agree the office is no place for such language and I'd have to problem letting this person know that they may want to tone it down some.

angryguy77

Also if you didn't know, gay means homosexual so therefore by calling something BAD "gay" you're in turn saying it's bad to be gay. You seemed a little confused as to why those words used in such a way are indeed offensive to most humans with half a heart. Same goes with "retarded".

Intent and context cannot be ignored. For example, would you equate a black person using the 'N' word as a greeting with how the clan might use it in a meeting?

schninie82

I'd give her a slap!

dbower18

Absolutely . Get her fired and make sure she never works again if you can. We all have to be vigilant in stamping out this type of behavior so that can all learn to be more civil and tolerant.

EDesq

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

Concur......Gay used to mean happy until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive if used in the wrong context. Retarded used to mean delay or impede until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive. I personally have taken the word gay back! I'm gay......I'm happy! Period. :flowerforyou:

Stop making sense

When was a PRINTER gay (in any sense,) or retarded. We have antonyms and synonyms, no one ever said words could not be interchangeable. But when they are used as a SLUR or to imply Inferiority or Hate or used to HURT...what's the point Other than that! We make new words all the time and drop others, when was the last time anyone used Thee? Now we have "Frienamenies." Why not say "Mentally Challenged," why not say Downs Syndrome instead of "mongoloid." Can't we GROW! People know mean and hate speech, this is a western society and we have our "Norms." That "Crap" just won't fly in certain environments anymore; there are certain people in society who have moved up based on "fear" and they want to keep the OLD stuff because they can stay in charge. They are Neanderthals and they want to live in the past and want everyone else to follow BACK. GUESS what, there is NO going back...the Back ways HURT a LOT of People, there is NEVER anything wrong with Respecting others.

hazelnutflav

when people say things that offend me or i think is not appropiate for the work place or any place for that matter i call them by their name, use direct eye contact and ask them in a very calm maller "why did you use that word?" and you kow what they usually say "i dont know or i didnt mean anything by it" its quite possable you are the first person to call her out on it and now that you have she will be more mindful of the words and stop using them at least around you.

also because she is young she maybe so usto saying those words around her friends and none of them ever call her out on it she may think its perfectly fine to say it.

i would tell her how i feel about it give her time to adjust then if she keeps it up then i would adv mgmt.

i think this is a plain old case of ignorance.

Aesop101

Or sick Human Resources on her!

Wouldn't you talk to a person first and give them a chance before sicking HR on them?

Good lord let me tell you a tale about that. I had been sick and wasn't sleeping well at all. I nodded off for a second. Did the girl ask me if I was okay, nope. Did she go to my manager, nope. She went to another manager. He went to an executive. Then they came to me. Fortunately they only found me working.

kristydi

Get her somewhere alone so you don't embarrass her in front of everyone then say something like.

I think you're doing a great job here at work and have enjoyed working with you so far. But I've noticed that you used the words gay and retarded a lot to describe negative things. I'm sure you don't mean to be offensive, but using language like that can be hurtful to others as well as damaging to your career. There are gay people and people with loved ones who have special needs all over and you never know when they might hear comments like that and take offence. I don't want to embarrass you. but I just wanted to give you a heads up. Like I said, you're doing a great job and I'd hate for a bad habit to cause a problem for you.

Then let her be. It's hard to hear correction sometimes and hopefully she'll be embarrassed by her thoughtlessness.

Starting and ending with something nice usually softens the blow some.

therobinator

People. It's handled. Please calm down. I talked to her. She was appreciative. All I was looking here for was advice on how to talk to this girl to help her not get into trouble for violating rules/laws that are already in effect....I wasn't looking to spark a debate about whether those rules/law should exist in the first place. I truly thank you all for your varied opinions.

Now, can't we all just get along??? (((hugs for everyone)))

Edited for spelling.

jmruef

I hate it when people don't come to me first if I do something to annoy them. You are both supposed to be adults. Talk to her and if she can't handle it or keeps doing it go up the chain of command.

BINGO. I worked in an department full of narcs once upon a time and it SUCKED. The environment was toxic. It's entirely possible she'll respond if you just talk to her face to face.

It's not so much that I'm super-sensitive to people saying those words myself, but I respect other people's rights to be sensitive, and there is such a thing as work place professionalism. I admit I have a potty mouth at home, but I *leave* that at home. I don't act that way at work because...well...I like being employed.

TripleJ3

it's offensive and has always been used to marginalize people, that is what makes it offensive. kind of like dropping any other stereotype that describes one group, anyone familiar with the old N bomb? or calling someone a ****...as if being a vagina is the most horrible thing ever. it is offensive and the OP has every right to be offended.

And here I thought when someone was Gay, it meant they were happy!!

I also find it hilarious when the people who are offeneded by the use of the word *retarded* they suggest you use this word to describe yourself or someone you know. Instead of reusing the word, say my sister is mentally handicapped or whatever.

Put down the torches, she isn't saying those words to purposely harm anybody. While I understand that every single one of you have never in your life used a word or done something that would offend anyone, you could simply say you probably shouldn't use those words in an office environment, you could get yourself in some trouble.

Have you ever turned to a friend and said, That guy is a D***!

My point is we have all said or done something that someone else found offensive. Lots of words are used as different "meanings". I'm not saying this girl is in the right, just saying cut her some slack, be an adult and an example. Don't make a big deal out of it just explain thats not appropriate because it may hit home with some people and offend them.

angryguy77

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

Concur......Gay used to mean happy until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive if used in the wrong context. Retarded used to mean delay or impede until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive. I personally have taken the word gay back! I'm gay......I'm happy! Period. :flowerforyou:

Stop making sense

When was a PRINTER gay (in any sense,) or retarded. We have antonyms and synonyms, no one ever said words could not be interchangeable. But when they are used as a SLUR or to imply Inferiority or Hate or used to HURT...what's the point Other than that! We make new words all the time and drop others, when was the last time anyone used Thee? Now we have "Frienamenies." Why not say "Mentally Challenged," why not say Downs Syndrome instead of "mongoloid." Can't we GROW! People know mean and hate speech, this is a western society and we have our "Norms." That "Crap" just won't fly in certain environments anymore; there are certain people in society who have moved up based on "fear" and they want to keep the OLD stuff because they can stay in charge. They are Neanderthals and they want to live in the past and want everyone else to follow BACK. GUESS what, there is NO going back...the Back ways HURT a LOT of People, there is NEVER anything wrong with Respecting others.

You're right this is the West. And we used to not have thought police who told us what was acceptable and what was not.

tell me did you have as much anger toward Obama when he said this about Pennsylvanians?

"You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations".


Here's a news flash.....not everyone is a racist who doesn't speak in a PC acceptable way. Not everyone is out to get you. Maybe life would be a little happier if you calm down and accept there are different point of views and have an open mind.

EDesq

I wouldn't be so sensitive, realize she is not intending things as a personal attack and allow people to live their life. We have become way to thin skinned in this society. Can't say boo without someones feeling getting hurt and them running to mom.

I agree with this! However there is certain etiquette that is required in an office environment...

OMG, what world are you guys living in...The good old days, when "Jim Crow" and segregation was alive and well or when the frontal lobotomy was in vogue or when women had to take abuse in silence because she had no options.

I know right, if someone says "gay" we should beat the crap out of them for being a Jim Crow. GMAFB

Why you cut off my quote...You don't even "get" it, OOPS you DO. When was the last time you abused your wife?

Stop with that. You are making unfair judgments with no evidence to back it up. You are just assuming he's a certain way. Isn't that what caused so much trouble for this country in the past?

What is offensive is being labeled because you don't conform with a certain group think. Casting judgment will do far more harm than words could ever hope.

NO YOU Stop! Casting "judgments" of inferiority IS how this country started and progressed. That same mentality is still pervasive among "Certain" people. A BIGOT is a BIGOT...they don't stop at ONE Hatred. But relative to the OP statement about the girl...I just think she is IGNORANT like many young people, and they will stay that way until they are educated.

Why should I calm down...maybe you should chill out. The world has always changed, people have always grown. What was in-vogue 30, 50, 100... years ago, is no longer. This world is NOT stepping back and Haters don't get a pass!

BabyDuchess

<<<<<< I'm still gay because today I broke through the 50 lb barrier! Yay! So one might say, I'm extremely gay! :flowerforyou:

lilRicki

Don't explain squat! She's a big girl now, with a big girl job...next time she says something that stupid look at her and say "cut it out, stop using that language"...and walk away

BEERRUNNER

ANyways......................any single Ladies out here in MFB??? IF SO Message this awesomely tanned man!