Visual Clues your date is a doucher

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  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Visible clues to female douches

    - she's not ready when you show up at her door
    - her roots are blacker than Alex Haley's
    - she has acrylic nails
    - she's wearing heels that she can't walk properly in
    - she carries a purse that could double as an overnight bag (a nice clutch says "I'm a lady," but hauling around a huge bag on a dinner date says "I'm prepared to sleep over," kind of like wearing high heels with a bikini)
    - she walks around with her cell phone in her hand
    - she wears sunglasses at night
    - she reapplies makeup in front of you (especially at the dinner table, but IMO, this isn't acceptable at any time ... that's why God invented the ladies' room)
    - she takes off her shoes at any point in the evening (unless you're walking hand-in-hand on the beach, there is no excuse for this ... if you can't deal with the discomfort, wear different shoes)
    - she's dressed completely inappropriately for the planned activity (for instance, you're going on a picnic and she's wearing a miniskirt and 6-inch stilettos)

    Non-visual clues:

    - she wants you to call her by her initials
    - she's constantly asking you for an assessment of her appearance
    - she dances around basic first-date questions like "What do you do for a living?" or "Have you ever been in prison?"
    - she doesn't ask any questions about you (this is how you know she's either really self-absorbed or she's been reading all the latest dating how-to guides ... they all say the same thing ... ask him lots of questions, but don't reveal much at all about yourself)
    - she asks you about money on the first date (Gold.Digger.)
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    An Obama sticker on her bumper!

    Anytime I see an Obama sticker, it's usually on a Prius, Toyota Camry or Honda Civic.. and the driver is almost always willing to go through a red light, cut off, not use signal. I love sterotyping people in cars.

    no politics folks! get over it.

    the rest of this thread is hilarious!

    That actually wasn't political... Sterotyping people by their bumper stickers is no different than saying most people with a hunting bumper stickers are usually in big noisey trucks...
  • stampede55
    stampede55 Posts: 474
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    Red rimmed shooting glasses. Didn't smash the pumpkin....put 30 rounds of 9mm ammo through it. Anything else? U mad?

    Light red equals pink. It's cool though, I'm sure you meant no homo by it.

    Not really, just happened to be the only pair I could get from work. I was wearing a pink thong when I shot the pumpkin, is that homo?

    now THAT's what i'm talking about. let's go feed dynamite to some frogs.

    I'm calling PETA....poor frogs.

    there has to be a vegetarian foundation that's angry with you for what you did to that helpless pumpkin. bring it *kitten*.

    maybe a world hunger charity or something... idk.

    Check this! The guy who runs the range out of his backyard said this and I quote, "Throw those pumpkins over in the woods so the deer can have something to eat for dinner....then tomorrow, I'll have deer for dinner!" Mind blowing!
  • Micheetah
    Micheetah Posts: 184 Member
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    Raiders fan right here, and it doesnt make ppl douches! Its a sports team... btw i'll be in the black hole this weekend LMAO and no I wont be looking to shank anyone.

    entertaining post though!
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
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    Darn it! I thought this was going to be female clues. LOL at this thread.
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
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    Hey back up there pal. You callin people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.

    And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?

    You're fail dude

    I agree. I am sad that some of these things are very blatantly anti-ethnic bordering on racist. W/e, my bad for clicking here I guess.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
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    Hey back up there pal. You callin people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.

    And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?

    You're fail dude

    I agree. I am sad that some of these things are very blatantly anti-ethnic bordering on racist. W/e, my bad for clicking here I guess.

    How do you get racist out of this post? Seriously?

    Where the hell did that even come from? And like I said, its all in fun, I'm just playing around. Its in the fun and chit chat section... One of my friends in college was a raiders fan, and he was as white as they come.

    And you're trying to tell me you've never heard a fan a sports team give a another fan of a DIFFERENT sports team a hard time about it?

    You all need to lighten up. Nearly EVERYONE, including myself, has been on that list at some point for something.

    Godamn overly sensitive people piss me off.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    It was a joke, like saying all Eagles fans are hooligans (before you start: I'm a Raiders fan and I went to Penn State and...well...made fun of Eagles fans as much as possible). =)
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
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    It was a joke, like saying all Eagles fans are hooligans (before you start: I'm a Raiders fan and I went to Penn State and...well...made fun of Eagles fans as much as possible). =)

    My point exactly.... bunch of wankers, seriously.

    For the record... I hate everyone. Color has nothing to do with it :D
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    If you look hard enough, you can find racism in anything. I once had someone tell me that the tradition of a white wedding dress is racist. But when you have to look for racism, clearly YOU are the problem.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
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    If you look hard enough, you can find racism in anything. I once had someone tell me that the tradition of a white wedding dress is racist. But when you have to look for racism, clearly YOU are the problem.

    A white wedding dress isnt racist... its sexist.

    White so that she matches the other kitchen appliances ;)
  • dixiech1ck
    dixiech1ck Posts: 769 Member
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    Wears plaid on a date. As in flannel plaid.

    Wears a NASCAR shirt or monster truck shirt. To anything. In my presence. Uh.. no.
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
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    A few douchers in this thread. Now i know what to look for if I ever go back into the dating world. Thanks for the heads up, fellas!
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    A few douchers in this thread. Now i know what to look for if I ever go back into the dating world. Thanks for the heads up, fellas!

    My pleasure
  • vdavis_89
    vdavis_89 Posts: 334
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    Shoot this made me almot shoot water out my nose!!! I think I went to school with this chick.... lmao!!!
  • vdavis_89
    vdavis_89 Posts: 334
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    The guy who constantly "adjusts" every 30 seconds! 1. I doubt it's that big and 2. No one is trying to steal it from you and 3. Pulling on it will not make it bigger!

    This is hilarious!
  • calliope_music
    calliope_music Posts: 1,242 Member
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    talks on a cell phone on your date. unless your mom just died or your sister is in labor, don't answer it.
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
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    A few douchers in this thread. Now i know what to look for if I ever go back into the dating world. Thanks for the heads up, fellas!

    My pleasure

    Wasn't necessarily referring to you, but hey if you want to out yourself, more power to ya.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    It was a joke, like saying all Eagles fans are hooligans (before you start: I'm a Raiders fan and I went to Penn State and...well...made fun of Eagles fans as much as possible). =)

    Why does everyone pick on Philly fans? Some of us weren't even alive for the infamous Santa/snowball incident. And, you don't take your life into your own hands wearing opposing team gear in Philly like you do in the Black Hole. I've heard that you get the hairy eyeball if you're wearing a plain black t-shirt @ the Coliseum Philly fans will only pelt you with various items from the concession stands...they won't beat the snot out of you; unless of course they happen to be former season ticket holders from the 700 Level at the Vet. They're nuts...
  • gennybunny1
    gennybunny1 Posts: 209
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    The guy who constantly "adjusts" every 30 seconds! 1. I doubt it's that big and 2. No one is trying to steal it from you and 3. Pulling on it will not make it bigger!


    LMAO. So true.

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